Urgent advice needed!

[SamS_TTCPink]

Advice needed please!!

Ok, so I had a really bad day 3 days ago...I think the reality of our loss hit me, I had a horrible experience at the drs and I felt like crap - I had a headache, had EWCM, was cranky, had pain in left side - so much so that I thought I must be ovulating or about to! I was just so over everything and though f#%k it!! My opk was negative but I was so sure due to symptoms that we BD that night!

Now today, I get a blaring positive opk!

So, what to do now??? I know one attempt is best for TTC pink but would Tuesday have been too early and would it have been "boy territory"? Do we attempt again?

I'm so cross I didn't just wait until a pos opk but I really thought I was ovulating on tues with how I felt.

Have I stuffed up everything??!? 😢

[SamS_TTCPink]

It doesn't help that today is my birthday and I'm having a crap day as it is! 😞

[Abifasc]

Happy birthday!!!! So sorry you're having such a sad day.

If it were me, I'd bd tomorrow. So then you have two attempts 4 days apart. But I'm not an expert, just wanted to throw in my two cents. Hugs!!!!

[kitkat18]

Happy bday mum of six!!! Please make day a cheat day!! Go eat some cake xxxx

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[angielorna]

Happy birthday, sweetie! Can you manage it in the am? I'd be tempted to just dtd tonight. I wouldn't worry about the tues attempt being boy territory. I'm not sure if dtd Tonight would increase the boy chances or not, but I'm thinking the tues swimmers would be gone by the time the egg releases. At least that's my thought.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do <3
Angie

[kitkat18]

Do one attempt tomorrow xxxx

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[Rosie85]

Happy Birthday!!!!! No advice different than the others, I would BD in the am as well!

[stephk]

Happy birthday!! :)

I would BD ASAP if it were me, its only 3 days and there will be hardly any sperm hanging around anyway - you dont want to miss the egg coming out!

[Marika]

Happy birthday!! :celebrate:

I am no expert on this and had the same kind of question earlier this week so I can only give you my thought on how I would think:

If you BD tuesday, and today get an opk I would guess you probably O tomorrow (or around). By then I would not rely non the swimmers from tuesday being enough, so personally I would BD again now and consider the tuesday sperm as gone by the time egg releases.

Good luck! :luck:

[flowerlily]

Happy birthday MumofSix!!♥♥ :celebrate: Have some cake!

And I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Big hugs and good luck!

[angielorna]

what did you decide to do? I hope you catch the eggie :)
Angie

[SamS_TTCPink]

Thanks for all the birthday wishes! 💜

I've decided to attempt tomorrow. Probably not til the night though as I've got kids sports early and stuff on during the day. Hopefully it will be enough and I don't miss the egg! 😕

[kitkat18]

Good luck!! Xx

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[SamS_TTCPink]

Noooo....negative opk today! Is it too late?? 😕

[covered in blue]

I'd give it another go today anyway but if you did ovulate yesterday then your other attempt would have been spot on so that's great news really :).

[SamS_TTCPink]

I didn't even think of that! I feel much better now. Thanks covered in blue!! 😊

[stephk]

Agree with covered in blue - good luck!!

[SamS_TTCPink]

So....I really hope Tuesday attempt was enough as we attempted to attempt today and DH couldn't "finish the act". 😞 And to be honest, I think unless Tuesday was enough, I don't think we will be TTC again. I think DH is over it and it was a struggle to get him to agree as it was and now he is saying we can't afford another baby, don't have the room.... etc.

I think tonight was also influenced by the fact that the had no faith that we could get a girl as he said we haven't been back on the diet and supps long enough since the m/c but at the same time he doesn't want to do it anymore.

I am shattered! All I can do now is cross everything and hope that Tues will result in a sticky BFP! 😕

[kitkat18]

Really hope its your month mumofsix I think you still have a great shot the day before a pos opk!! FX may is your month....
Maybe don't talk about swaying much with your hubby for a bit, just give him some space, I'm sure he will come round if its not your month, we forget the stress it puts them through !! xxxx

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[stephk]

Everything crossed for you. Hope to hear good news when I get back x

[WantingPink]

I hope you get your sticky BFP!! Maybe your DH is feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. He will probably come around if you give him some space and time to think about things. Good luck! I think you have a good chance at a BFP!!

[Houseofblue]

Mumofsix I agree w the others, don't talk about ttc too much around your dh. I would just keep tracking your cycle and when you're O-ing, dtd without telling him. ;)

[maidentomother]

Oh mum, I do think your Tue attempt was enough, and I hope DH changes his mind if it wasn't. *hugs*

[atomic sagebrush]

thanks so much to all who stepped up to give great advice!! really appreciate it.

[atomic sagebrush]

For some reason I can't "quote" this morning but the amount of time you get an OPK does not matter, you O 36 hours or so after the first positive, even if the test has gone negative. (that is, unless it's a fake surge)

[WantingPink]

Just wanted to let you know... with this baby we DTD (and I J&D) on a Saturday night. I didn't get a good positive OPK until Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I thought we were probably in the clear (since we weren't trying) but apparently those sperm can hang out for awhile:) According to uls conception date was Thursday. We only DTD once so it can happen:)

[angielorna]

Oh, I hope you caught it! Though men don't grieve the same way we do, they are impacted by losses too. Perhaps his reluctance to keep ttc is out of concern and fear.... Which may dissipate over time.
Take care! I hope both our timing (though unconventional) works out for this month!!
Angie

[sugarNspice]

I think your DH just needs some time. Before I started having m/c's, I really wanted DC#3, and DH really didn't. We've been through a lot over the years in between, but what he's wanted and what he's thought and felt has changed dramatically with time. If your DH was willing to TTC before, and this is something you really wanted, chances are good that he'll come to agree with you about it again.
But men too are impacted by losses, if in different ways than we--who actually experience the pregnancies--are.
:fx: for a sticky pink bean for this cycle, but if it doesn't happen, I hope you and DH are able to talk about this and find your way back to where you both were before the loss happened (in terms of being on the same page about TTC).

[SamS_TTCPink]

Thanks everyone, I really hope so too but am not liking our chances - DTD Tues and the pos opk was Friday.😞
I've never gotten PG that early before, but will still keep everything crossed. 😕

I will ease off DH about it all, although the only time I do talk to him about it anyway, is when I get a pos opk (or as last week thought I was ovulating). I wish I could just "accidentally" get PG from DTD at ovulation but when he doesn't want another baby he won't come near without protection!!

I guess I'm cross too that it is up to him when like Atomic has said to others, he has made the decisions on where we live and everything else big (and I hate living in Canberra), I can't study what I want here, and I'm the one who does everything for the kids (and him), I never get any appreciation (don't ever get anything for my bday or Mother's Day and I'm lucky if he remembers at all) and I don't like that's it's still his decision to have another or not and there's nothing I can do about it.

He is being all nice this morning and asked if he could get me anything or a coffee or tea etc.... I just said no ThankYou but I really wanted to scream "I don't want tea, I want a baby!". 😢

Sorry, will stop venting now and being ungrateful! I have six amazing boys and I should be thankful that I have them when others struggle to have just one baby.

[SamS_TTCPink]

I hope you get your sticky BFP!! Maybe your DH is feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment. He will probably come around if you give him some space and time to think about things. Good luck! I think you have a good chance at a BFP!!

Thanks wantingpink. I hope so! 😀

[SamS_TTCPink]

Just wanted to let you know... with this baby we DTD (and I J&D) on a Saturday night. I didn't get a good positive OPK until Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I thought we were probably in the clear (since we weren't trying) but apparently those sperm can hang out for awhile:) According to uls conception date was Thursday. We only DTD once so it can happen:)

Really???! Wow. Ok, maybe there's still some hope. 😊

[Marika]

Oh Mumof six, I really hope this those swimmers were strong and waited for that egg! Fx for you this month!

And about your dh - as others have said he might think different with time. I hope so, for you. And I do not think you are being ungrateful at all, in all your posts I can see how much you do love and value your sons and that doesn't change for wishing for another child. You have gone through a difficult time and are still doing so venting is necessary and you are really in the right place for it. Big hug to you!