What is it like going from 2-3 kids & spacing??

[WantingButWaiting]

I saw a similar thread on IG about going from 3 to 4 but I was wondering about going from 2 to 3. How hard is it? Did it make a big impact on your finances or lifestyle? Do you ever wish you had stopped at 2? Not like you wish your third child away, but do you think about how your life would be easier ever? Additionally what spacing would you recommend for a third. My sons are going on 2 and 7 so the absolute minimum spacing would be 3 and 7.5 years apart since we would do IVF which takes a while to get started. Deciding to have the first 2 kids was so easy but deciding this is really difficult for me. I don't want to do something I'll regret.

[nuthinbutpink]

Well, I always wanted atleast 3 but I come from a larger family so that is what I am used to.

I can't answer the finances question...that is personal and only you know if you can swing that, ya know? I mean another body, another mouth to feed, cloth, college, etc.

Beyond the finances, I think it mostly depends on your daily schedule and temperment of your kids. If you have an easy going baby, it will be easy. If you have a fussy child, it will be hard. BUT, that goes away after a year(hopefully) and then it is just life and I could not imagine life without my third.

I hope I do not offend everyone but a friend of mine who is married to a guy with just one sibling told me once that on holidays, etc. it is boring to go to her inlaws(and she likes her inlaws/spends time with them, etc) because if one of the sibling cannot make it, then it is just them and the parents. I know that sounds silly but coming from a bigger family, it hit home for me. Some people may go the other way, if they come from big families and just have one child LOL. We are all made differently!

My third fit right it...the 4th, another story! Good luck! BTW I think your spacing is great! No issues at all there!

[babydust]

Good question! I have two now, and as I'm sure you know, going from one to two is even a bigger adjustment then going from no kids to 1. My Dh and I alow want another child eventually and would like to space it about 2 years apart give or take 6 months or so. I feel like going from 2-3 won't be AS big of an adjustment as going from 1-2, and the spacing you want seems great to me. I agree though, only you can determine if the finances will work...that is one reason we aren't trying asap for another one because we just can't swing it at the moment.

[Lilac♥]

Well I'm way past that stage. But I do remember it being really hard at first, probably harder for me than any of the other transitions besides becoming a mom for the first time. And when I think about it I'm convinced the world is designed for families of 4 and it drives me crazy! I think it would be easier for us to travel more and go out to activities and events and stuff if we had stopped at 2. But even when we only had 1 or 2 we still never really did that stuff. That being said I never wanted only 2 kids and gladly deal with the struggles to enjoy a bigger family. The hard part about having only 2 is either you have one of each and they don't have same sex siblings to play with, or you have 2 of the same and you never get to experience the other gender (that is if going for a 3rd or 4th would even give it to you, not like in my case). Also I've never ever worried about being rich and having lots of nice stuff so I'm the wrong person to ask about that, our finances have always been tight and luckily my husband's paychecks have grown with each child just enough to cover the new expenses. If having a big family wasn't the most important thing to me, I might have stopped at 2 and lived it up more. Also I think your spacing will be fine if you start pursuing high tech now, I don't think it will matter much for between the kids since I'm guessing your boys won't be too excited to play with a little girl. And for how easy it is on you I think 3-4 years is pretty good.

[Rein&Sonshines]

I had to build a third room in my tiny city house to fit my third kid. Spacing is tough.

[Lilian78]

Well, as far as managing kids/dealing with them goes, I thought 1-2 was waaayyyy harder than 2-3. 2-3 was easy in that way. We did end up moving to a new house in part because we have a third and I wanted them all to have their own rooms (and now my boys refuse to sleep apart LOL), but that wasn't only because having a third. As for finances, at the moment, the only thing I really notice is a third plane ticket if we want to travel somewhere. I'm sure that third college education will be a huge deal, but other than that, I'm not noticing a huge financial impact :) As for spacing, I think it depends on whether you want it to be easy for you or if you want the kids to be closer. I think a bigger gap is easier for parents to manage, but might make the kids less close.

[xnicolax]

For me, 2-3 was the biggest leap. But as PP has said, that goes after a year. It had a lot to do with spacing, I had 1 DS in school, and another in nursery for 2 hours a day and doing night feeds, I was exhausted. DS4 is somewhat difficult but there has not been much impact on how hard it is, I had him before DS3 started nursery so the night feeds were over before I had to do that school run every day.

[skrimpy]

I agree with Lillian - I think going from 1-2 was harder than 2-3. My kids are still pretty crowded in our house - I just made work what we had. As far as feeding/clothing another it hasn't been bad. Now that we have a 6th eater (went from 3-4) and are adding another the grocery budget is majorly impacted, but it wasn't really that much going from 2-3 small children. Clothes aren't a big deal - lots of hand-me-downs and I tend to shop at children's consignment shops anyways. Our shop has a "fill a bag for 5 bucks" sale twice a year and girls, I can pack those clothes down in that bag! Even if money were unlimited I would still get the basics at consignment shops - kids grow so fast and most clothes are in good shape. To me it's prudent.

My 3rd baby was super-easy so most of my challenges were (and still are) dealing with my much more high-needs 2nd child. A fussy 3rd baby may have been harder. But I felt like life went pretty smoothly after baby #3, and even as a single mother, which I found myself as shortly after his birth.

It just takes some good organization and a nice routine, but I find a big family is not too hard to manage - the only time it's really stressful is when you are having a lot of issues with one child and don't have as much energy for the others. Like I said, my DC2 is very high-needs and sometimes I feel his needs overshadow the others and wear me out - but this would be true if I only had one other child.

[prettyinpink18]

My boys were 7 and 10 when dd was born and while I did not want such a big age gap between ds2 and dd it has turned out to be a good thing. The boys are in school all day and when they are home they are so helpful with her. Had my first ms/iui worked the spacing would have been just what I wanted, 5 years. But none of my cycles worked and when we decided to ttc naturally it took 14 months. We have the room in our house and the finances too for a 3rd child, but it is surreal to be starting all over again when my boys were well on their way. This time around I will be the old mom, lol. I just turned 39, had ds1 at 28, so will be the old mom when dd goes to school. It helps that I have a close girlfriend who also has 2 older kids and had her 3rd a month after my dd. My dd has been a good baby so it has been pretty easy so far. We will see in time when she is mobile and getting into all of her brothers' things, lol.

[Jojogirl]

Going from 1-2 was hardest for me. Going from 2-3 was nothing. I hardly noticed...LOL. It didn't impact our finances. But going from 3-4 didn't either. I still make a whole box of spaghetti for dinner. No leftovers. Bonus! You will never regret the children you have, just the ones you didn't have. That's not my quote. A good friend told me that. I use it as my motto now!