Wish I could forget

[motherofboys]

So I have 4 boys. We have said for years that 5 was our number. DS4 was my first experience of gender disappointment.
I found this place while pregnant with DS4 and suddenly everything made sense. If course I had boys, my whole life was one huge boy sway.
Now he is turning 7 months, and I had this whole sway plan that I put together, and was just waiting for my first af. Which arrived and has just left. I am ready to start my sway....
Except I'm not. I'm ready for another baby, but I don't want to sway! I wish it wasn't like this and I could just get pregnant and it be a girl!
I have felt so positive lately. I love my boys, I love having boys and the idea of another boy isn't a bad one. When I imagine another boy I almost want HIM. But I still desire a girl. I wish I could forget all the swaying stuff I know and just ttc with out thinking about it. But I know too much, everything I do and eat I find myself thinking "boy food! Boy eating pattern!"
I know this is confusing, but I feel like I've accepted I won't get a girl, but to knowingly do things that will get a boy, I worry that when I'm pregnant and the hormones start flying I'll regret not swaying.

I confuse myself so do to worry if that makes no sense lol


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[motherofboys]

Oh and I have zero will power. I feel im doomed from the start. I can't stay away from some foods while I can't stick to exercise and even if I do I won't get a girl anyway.


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[I Love Ladybugs]

I don't want to come off as a know it all Nancy.....because I know that I don't have all the answers at all.

You have to have peace in your heart that not doing anything/giving it your all and whatever little baby decides to snuggle in is the one for your family. I was told boy at 18 weeks and girl at 22 weeks....private scan first, hospital for the rest......and was so sad that my exercise sway did not work. Well, holding my little ladybug, I say commit to the exercise and eat 3 meals a day. I stayed on the high end of cals, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with no snacks....and ran 60 mins, 6 times a week, did not use any potions/lubes/supplements other than folic acid and low dose ASA (which actually I used in all my sticky pregnancies). I had been instructed after the last m/c to only use folic acid as my iron levels were too HIGH, even after than much blood loss.

I still remember how much I longed for my girl....and I doubt I will forget that! I hope that you are able to get your sway on and cuddle with your pink bundle in the future!

[motherofboys]

Thank you. I just feel like I have to write it down somewhere because it doesn't even make sense to me.
I want to just do exercise, cut down my meat in take, switch to some lower fat things, (tried low fat cheese and I can not eat that!) and cut out the snacking.
But suddenly all the things I want are all the things I feel I shouldn't have, at least not in the amounts that I want them.
I'm the type of person to obsess so I want to be able to step back and let whatever happens happen. I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason. And feel ATM that I could welcome another boy. But I don't want any regrets.


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[WantingPink]

You sound like the perfect person to get a personalized plan. Let Atomic do all the thinking for you and you will also have access to ask her as many questions as you want. I think that help people who get a little overwhelmed and wonder if they are doing the right thing or if what they are doing is all for not. Good luck and don't get too overwhelmed. Relax, take a deep breath, and get a personalized plan:)

[Mrs_Incredible]

Motherofboys I totally get what you're saying, the minute I think diet I start craving all sorts of yummy food, takeaways, delicious treats ....every single diet I've ever considered. Yet while pg I can go months with hardly any urge to eat or enjoying food. Just not fair. Maybe try and ease into it, incorporate treats into your limits so you don't feel deprived. Good luck xx


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[motherofboys]

I have never had to diet in my life, this is all so new to me.


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[Mrs_Incredible]

Until I had medication about 5 years ago I didn't need to diet, well not so as you would have noticed. Once I bloated with the medication I never quite got back down to my before size. I should have dieted then. Once I looked into le I thought that the hope of a dd would be enough motivation but I lack willpower and I yoyo'd on it. Sabotaged myself I think.
Then at my 12+4 scan she showed me a turtle potty shot .... I thought then, I really should have done that bloody diet!! By this point I've barely eaten for months, hardly snacked, don't like sweets or choc very much all through pg nausea. Why couldn't I have just done it to achieve my dream?
I think the fear of giving it our all and 'failing' has a lot to do with it. I'd really ease into it gently, try and make it work for you, as in work it round what you normally eat rather than special meals where you feel your missing out, all while tracking values. Maybe changing it into a le friendly lifestyle might be enough and if that's all you can manage then that is your best. X

I agree with wantingpink, a plan is the way to go, atomic takes the second guessing and obsessing out of it for you x

[motherofboys]

The thing that I find most confusing is the working out of calories and so many grams of this and percentage of that. I was thinking of becoming a dream member though. Or maybe getting the 21 day meal plan as I think the info in there is supposed to be clearer, it says something about the meals having complete calorie, fat, protein info.


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[SamS_TTCPink]

The meal plan is fantastic and yep it breaks down all the macronutrients for you. I also use My Fitness Pal app.

[Mrs_Incredible]

Dream member, personalized plan and meal plan are great ideas. Back on IG I spent so much time, months and months researching and remember thinking that I wished I could get someone in the know to do it for me. When I joined here and saw atomic was doing personalised plans i thought that was a fantastic service to offer. Took the guessing and worry out of the whole process, because it is daunting for sure!

[motherofboys]

I think there is a fear that I'll do all that stuff and still get a boy and it will all have been a waste of time. Where as if I just accept now that I'll have a boy it will be easier in the long run


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[Mrs_Incredible]

I think there is a fear that I'll do all that stuff and still get a boy and it will all have been a waste of time. Where as if I just accept now that I'll have a boy it will be easier in the long run


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I know exactly how you feel. But I know for a fact, once you are pregnant you will wish you'd done everything you could, because that's when the regret kicked in for me. If I am in fact pg with a girl I put that down to being so ill with my pg in January that ended in a blighted ovum, hardly eating for over 6-8 weeks through it making me so ill, one attempt at positive opk (although my head said do more attempts, I knew I had to follow atomics tried and tested tactics) and a big doze of luck. I still wish I'd done the diet properly to feel like I deserve this to be a girl because of a great sway!!But in the end I did as much of a Sway as I could and the mc ultimately helped me with the diet in a way that my willpower couldn't. Atomic can do this with you and you will give yourself a great chance at a daughter xx

[motherofboys]

Thanks. That's what I worry about, that I'll regret not trying hard.



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[maidentomother]

I think the meal plan is a great idea for you...I am getting it for myself (even though I can count calories and grams of fat in my head) simply bc I want to take all the stressing/obsessing out of the equation while still feeling confident I am doing the diet properly. I do think diet is so very essential to TTC a girl, especially for mothers of boys. I csn understand wishing it would happen without effort - I think we all wish that! - but, how lucky are we to have this knowledge and even just that chance at changing an otherwise inevitable fate of endless boys only? I know I am so grateful to be trying to TTC a girl for my first given my boy-friendly ways.

[motherofboys]

It sometimes seems very unfair that I should be here, having to change so many things that are naturally me, in order to get a girl when others get one of each with out thinking.


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[iluvmy4sons]

I did not do a full out sway. There is no way I could stick to a diet strictly
with my boys schedule etc. After we did decide to have another baby. I did not eat much red meat, salt, and a few other items. I never eat breakfast anyways. I did drink more milk and yogurt. I took calcium, magnesium, and cranberry. My husband abstained for 14 days and we dtd 3 days before. I am not sure if any of that had anything to do with me having a girl or not. I was feeling content with my family the month that I got pregnant even though my desire for a little girl was still there. I was actually just going to tell my husband no more babies. When I did get pregnant I decided just to prepare for a boy and I want to say I did feel good about another boy, but who is to say once I heard boy that the disappointment would not have been there.

You just have to decide how you would feel if you did not sway all the way and got a boy vs if you swayed your heart out and knew you did everything possible and still had a boy so the what ifs don't come to play. Good luck.

[motherofboys]

My previous plan had been diet, exercise, and olive leaf extract for dh. I kept adding things in then thinking I should cut them out again as I want a very simple sway so I don't ruin it purely by obsessing. Because of dh age atomic says it's not advisable to abstain, so was going to go with FR. We can both keep up with that although atomic did say it was ok to do every 4 days.
I didn't want a full on, kitchen sink sway anyway, I just wanted to know that the things I was doing that were probably swaying boy (like my old diet which was essentially HE) had been changed.
But recently I've been feeling like it's ok to have all boys, and unsure if I'm doing the right thing.
I remembered today, a holiday I went on when I was about 13/14 and in the apartment behind us were 3 little boys and next to them 4 little boys. I remember thinking how cute it was and how wonderful it would be to have a bunch of boys like that. I thought those mums were lucky and it never entered my head that they could have hoped for a girl along the way.



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[bluebonnet22]

I can relate to this post so much. Currently I'm leaning towards a more relaxed sway nearly identical to yours with just diet, exercise, Ole for dh (and fr with one attempt at positive opk). Part of me keeps wanting to add in fiber pills or refresh or acijel but honestly the simple sway feels better to me so I'm leaning that way. My diet evolves as this goes on. I have pretty good will power but I hate feeling sick and too weak to take care of my son so I've been upping protein and have eliminated most simple carbs because they make me feel so crappy.

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[motherofboys]

I do agree that every child is a blessing. I wouldn't swap any of my boys now. But I do still want at least one blessing to be pink lol


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