PDA

View Full Version : 2 daughters are make the happiest families??



SamS_TTCPink
May 25th, 2014, 08:10 PM
6 boys isn't even mentioned!?!? 😉

http://m.parenting.com/entry/view/id/24708?socsrc=ptgtw1405253

nuthinbutpink
May 25th, 2014, 08:18 PM
I'm way down the list. To each their own. I don't find many three girl/one boy families so I am sure 6 boys is pretty rare and wasn't a big enough sample size of that family type to make the list! Happiness is in the eye of the beholder, right?!?

sugarNspice
May 25th, 2014, 09:09 PM
I think my DH heard an NPR piece about the same study cited in this article when he decided that he really wanted to sway pink (or go HT) for DD#3.

Which seems kind of silly in retrospect. :think:

I do have to admit that my family (with two DDs) is pretty happy--they really do get along well, and play together often. But I also know plenty of families with sons who adore each other, and are really happy together. Seems like it depends much more on the individual children and their personalities, and less on gender to me.

bluebonnet22
May 25th, 2014, 09:16 PM
Interesting! I grew up in a family with 3 girls and HATED IT. We all still fight as adults - it was an awful dynamic. I always grew up praying for all boys myself. I do think it depends on the individuals and it's impossible to make generalizations.

Abifasc
May 25th, 2014, 09:42 PM
I wouldn't put any weight in this. Happy families are hardly determined by gender. I'm surprised my family irew up with didn't make it...four boys and four girls ;)

WantingPink
May 25th, 2014, 11:54 PM
2 boys and 2 girls is #11... right in front of 4 girls. Guess we are doomed :rofl:

coocoobananas
May 26th, 2014, 12:56 AM
Rubbish!

Mumof3girls
May 26th, 2014, 05:17 AM
I don't think its a very good study, our girls nearly kill each other every day. They should have studied my family & their stats would change dramatically.

snipsnsnails
May 26th, 2014, 08:01 AM
I remember seeing this and it bothered me. I am going from #5 to #9, I guess a girl can cause that much extra stress?! Happiness is what you make of it!

WantingPink
May 26th, 2014, 11:35 AM
I really think every family is different. PP is #2 however, I know my neighbor has a lot of stress with her PP. They don't get along and her son (oldest) is rather mean to her daughter. They don't have much in common and don't play much together. They (her DS and DD) openly talk about how they don't like the other one.

My kids do love each other even when they are fighting if they hurt the other one they feel genuinely bad and all fighting stops. Right now DS2 is playing "monster trucks" with DD. She is squealing and giggling at everything he does... It is pretty cute:)

6bluewant1pink
May 26th, 2014, 12:40 PM
Mine is not on it too I guess very rare to see a family of 7 boys.

sugarNspice
May 26th, 2014, 03:01 PM
bluebonnet ~ Oh no! I always get a bit worried when I hear of families with 3 DDs who hated it.

I do have four adult friends with 2 sisters each, two of whom think three-girl families are the absolute best, love their sisters, and are super-close to them as grownups, and two of whom always wished for a baby brother, or dreamed of being an only child, and who wanted anything but an all-girl family for their own children.

I should mention, also, that my mom has four sisters, and the five of them have been super-close since childhood, are still close, and are in their eighties now. Their relationships are amazing, and I think have really influenced my wish for a single-gender family.

Still, when you really think about it, it seems unlikely that the study could ever *really* capture the true complexities of sibling relationships--just asking the parents gets only their perspective, asking children isn't likely to be a reflection of anything other than how they're feeling at the moment, and asking adult children is likely to be biased or colored by inaccurate memories. Besides, how on earth could you ever compare--in a scientific, quantifiable way--'happiness' anyway? Or 'getting along'? When these things obviously mean very different things to different people.

SamS_TTCPink
May 26th, 2014, 09:11 PM
I come from a PP family and hate it! My brother and I have never gotten along and I've always wished I had more siblings, especially a sister.

6bluewant1pink.... I guess we're doomed not even being mentioned! 😉

mommymachine
May 26th, 2014, 09:22 PM
I am so in love with my family. This article has nothing on how in love I am with my family make up:)

hotdogz&boyz
May 26th, 2014, 10:49 PM
Both my family of origin and my family of creation (at the moment) are ranked #8. But I can't imagine being happier with either of them. I love my family make-up, as I also loved the make-up of my family growing up. Although I know it would have changed the dynamics of our family, I can't possibly imagine being "happier" if my immediately younger brother had been my only sibling. He and I aren't close and really have nothing in common. I'm pretty sure our family hinges on my youngest brother being a part of it. (And he was a surprise baby, my parents had "stopped " at two). And my house, despite being loud and busy, is rather harmonious. My kids all three play together (and kill each other, in equal parts) and they really do love each other. No matter what we get next, I know it will only get better! These researchers have nothing on our own mama-knowledge :)

6bluewant1pink
May 26th, 2014, 10:49 PM
I come from a PP family and hate it! My brother and I have never gotten along and I've always wished I had more siblings, especially a sister.

6bluewant1pink.... I guess we're doomed not even being mentioned! 😉

We're very special :bigsmile:

Mumof3girls
May 26th, 2014, 11:57 PM
I come from a PP family and hate it! My brother and I have never gotten along and I've always wished I had more siblings, especially a sister.

6bluewant1pink.... I guess we're doomed not even being mentioned! ��

I feel the exact same way! My brother & I have never got along & we still don't & I always said to my mum I wanted a sister but that never happened!

atomic sagebrush
May 27th, 2014, 05:49 PM
I am so sick of seeing "studies" like this! Just let people live their lives and find their own happiness rather than worrying about things like this! :)

maidentomother
May 30th, 2014, 03:03 PM
I bet the differences in happiness between the various configurations are negligible - which is doubtless why they weren't quoted in the article. If families of 2 girls are 1% happier than families of 2 boys, then it hardly matters.

atomic sagebrush
June 2nd, 2014, 05:13 PM
bluebonnet ~ Oh no! I always get a bit worried when I hear of families with 3 DDs who hated it.

I do have four adult friends with 2 sisters each, two of whom think three-girl families are the absolute best, love their sisters, and are super-close to them as grownups, and two of whom always wished for a baby brother, or dreamed of being an only child, and who wanted anything but an all-girl family for their own children.

I should mention, also, that my mom has four sisters, and the five of them have been super-close since childhood, are still close, and are in their eighties now. Their relationships are amazing, and I think have really influenced my wish for a single-gender family.

Still, when you really think about it, it seems unlikely that the study could ever *really* capture the true complexities of sibling relationships--just asking the parents gets only their perspective, asking children isn't likely to be a reflection of anything other than how they're feeling at the moment, and asking adult children is likely to be biased or colored by inaccurate memories. Besides, how on earth could you ever compare--in a scientific, quantifiable way--'happiness' anyway? Or 'getting along'? When these things obviously mean very different things to different people.

THIS! I have a couple of very hard boys (one is still little, but the other is now a grown adult man) and while they were/are difficult, my adult son is a very self-motivated and "immune to peer pressure" type of guy. So the same qualities that made him a tough kid to raise, have ended up serving him well in life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I was a very quiet, painfully shy, and non-demanding child and it took me the first 20 years of my adult life to learn the skills to function in difficult social situations and stick up for myself.

Everyone being "happy" and "getting along" may not always infer the types of life skills that one might want for adult children (and not meaning to find any fault in anyone's family makeup). It may well be the case that peaceful families (as defined by parental perception) are not the best preparation for life.

sugarNspice
June 3rd, 2014, 09:37 PM
Everyone being "happy" and "getting along" may not always infer the types of life skills that one might want for adult children (and not meaning to find any fault in anyone's family makeup). It may well be the case that peaceful families (as defined by parental perception) are not the best preparation for life.

I think this is so true, at least in my experience. I'm an only, and I do feel like I missed out on learning a lot of social skills at an early age, compared to my daughters. But honestly, I think they gain most of these skills in moments when they're fighting--learning to resolve conflicts, learning to tolerate difficult emotions, learning to get over it when they're really mad about something, learning to put up with someone who doesn't act in ways you want them to (ie, a younger sibling who breaks things or spills things or refuses to pretend to be a pony when you want to play ponies) etc.
I don't necessarily think this has much to do with gender, but I do think that larger families offer children more opportunities to develop tolerance and resilience, even--and perhaps especially--in moments when they're not feeling "happy."