Trying to decide when

[blueeyedguys]

Part of me feels like, given our ages (I'm 40, dh is 43), I should already be trying. lol

Realistically, I've only just maybe got dh on board with one last, last baby, I haven't been doing anything to sway yet because I'm still trying to figure out what exactly to do &, for a number of reasons, I really need a baby in late October, November, early December or late March, early April. I have a bunch of reasons, but a big one is when birthdays already are. I have an early Jan b'day, ds4 is end of Jan, dh is end of Feb & ds3 is beginning of March.

So basically, I have next cycle, which means I won't have been eating less/exercising more long enough, or waiting a few months.

I've always gotten pregnant incredibly easily (although not kept most of them) and even at 38 had an oops baby, but I've been having some possible signs of peri-menopause & I understand swaying can make getting pregnant more difficult.

I really want to wait a bit longer. Get my sway sorted, maybe get ds4 potty trained, etc. but there's also this voice in my head screaming that I don't have much time, I need to try now, before it's too late. If I waited & couldn't get pregnant, I'd be really upset, but I'd also be really upset if I had another boy because I got impatient.

I know no one can really help me, I'm mostly just venting.

[The Anchor]

If it were me, I wouldn't wait. I am only saying this because I had 3 OHWs at 36, 38 and 40. The last one ended up in m/c at 12 weeks. I have been trying since then, 1 1/2 years, I'm 41 now and NOTHING. Your fertility really is like a light switch once you hit 40, I swear. And it's not impossible but it's really hard!

[blueeyedguys]

Thanks for sharing your experience!

I'm sorry for your loss, I've had many, but all were much earlier.

(Would you mind telling me what OHW is? I haven't been able to figure it out.)

[Mrs_Incredible]

OHW one hit wonder x

[blueeyedguys]

Thanks! :)

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree with your initial sentiments, DO NOT WAIT. Listen to that voice. Time is not our friend here (and today is my 44th birthday so I'm right there with ya) and I want you to be in with an attempt ASAP. I am on bended knee begging you not to postpone and to try this upcoming cycle.

I ended up with ill-timed birthdays, 2 in the same month which is unfortunately also December, and the kids understand. If anything, it adds to the festiveness of the event. Neither of them ever say, "How dare you give birth in the special special month that belonged entirely to MEEEE!!!" I'm not trying to poohpooh your concerns, I know you're a mom trying to do right by her kiddos, but at the same time it's your life above all else, they'll go on to live their own lives and I just hate to see you waiting out otherwise good months when none of us ever know if it's the last fresh egg in the carton.

I really really really did not want a Leo baby because I have a lot of "fire" kids already and I also know a few crazy Leos, LOL. I did not want to be in my last month of pregnancy in August. I was SOOO tempted to sit the month out and then I thought, "ya know what, it's not about me and my being able to specially plan and design my family for myself, what will happen will happen and it's going to be just fine no matter what" and I went for it, and of course that was the month I did get pregnant at age 41 after 6 months of trying. And it all worked out just fine and dandy and while my Leo girl is feisty, I now see that it's all good and I wouldn't change a thing. (BTW I did luck out and got a cool August! ;))

You'll have 9 months for potty training if you do get BFP!

I have people who have postponed swaying until the "perfect" month and/or gone on doing super strict sways for years (and sadly I am not exaggerating) only to get opposites anyway. You aren't necessarily selling yourself short TTC sooner...in fact I'd say the half-assed attempts are generally more successful than the "perfect" ones due to the Maternal Dominance Hypothesis http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/33517-maternal-dominance-hypothesis-priviledged-daughter-hypothesis.html

[Mrs_Incredible]

I'm a half assed pink success! Never thought I'd see the day :) good luck xx


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[blueeyedguys]

Well, this month is out now no matter what I choose after that. My mother is in the hospital with heart problems, so I'm going to be up there everyday for at least the next week. Makes it too hard to do anything & I'm pretty sure stress wouldn't help things. She's having surgery Tuesday.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so sorry - hope she is better soon!!

[blueeyedguys]

Thanks. She's mostly doing better now. They put in a pacemaker & she's staying with me until someone can drive her home.