Any advice ttc at 44?

[Songbird]

Hi. I have never posted on any forum anywhere so please forgive my newbieness.

I am 44 and had my first child (surprise) right after I turned 42. I was told when I was 13 it was unlikely that I would have children. Not enough progesterone maybe. Well my son is the light of my life and becoming a mother is the greatest gift I could have ever imagined. Now I am longing for a sibling...' a daughter would be lovely but we would be so happy for a son as well.

Currently i am on weight watchers as I am 25 lbs overweight since last pregnancy. I eat
very little meat and walk daily. My husband is healthy and 39.

Is there any chance left for a healthy pregnancy? Is there anything we can do to improve our chances ? With my age I don't dare to attempt a sway but wish I had tried with this info earlier. Would preseed or rephresh or things like that help? I am still taking prenatals. Also I am still breastfeeding and wonder if that is reducing my limited chances even more? One last question ...I have been doing opk for 7 months and have been getting :-) 4 to 5 days after AF. We DTD some months almost daily during fertile week and other times every other day. Do you think it's too much? Better to just DTD on +opk or day after ?

Sorry to ramble. My mind says to just be grateful for my beautiful boy (which of course I am) but my heart aches for just one more. Thanks for listening. Peace & Love

[usuallywrite]

I am fairly new as well, but just wanted to say never say never. When I had my 6th baby last August at 40, I joked with my midwife about being her longest standing client and probably her oldest mum. She said "You are not even close!". She had had a lady, at age 50, have her first baby the year before. I plan to try for our lucky #7 until it is clear there is absolutely no way it's going to happen, or until I feel strongly it's time to stop. Thank goodness you have your little boy, and I completely understand that feeling of the first one showing you just what you had been missing. They're pretty remarkable, these little people. Best of luck to you.

[Zivic-Bubac]

Hey there!
I have a neighbour who is 44 and is expecting her 4. baby, so yes, it's very possible :happy:
I believe at our age (I'm 42) it's better to DTD as often as possible in order not to miss the egg and to have enough fresh sperm waiting when the egg pops out.
You might want to take good Prenatals, 2000mcg folic acid daily and CoQ-10, to help get pg.
There's a Stcky about it that Atomic wrote, I'll try to find it for you.

By the way, I took toms of supps when TTC DD3 and got myself a healthy baby, and this time aI took nothing as it was totally unplanned.

Don't give up! if you already have one baby, it will happen again eventually!

[SamS_TTCPink]

Hi and welcome! What a beautiful post about your surprise little man after being told you may not have children. So heartwarming. 💜💙

I think being on WW, the weight loss and low meat will help you with an "unofficial pink sway" 😉 and I'd try the one attempt at pos opk.

I wish you all the best of luck! And can't wait to hear more from you and see you get your BFP. 😊

[Little Lunasa]

Hi, don't give up hope! I'm 43 and expecting my third in about a week or so :)
I lightly swayed for a girl with the help of an individual plan from Atomic and it worked. For me, the advice was to dtd every 4 days and one extra at +opk. DH is 44 so abstain was not recommended, he took olive leaf extract and folic acid. My supplements were high dose folic acid, and COQ 10 for egg quality. I loosely followed the LE diet for about 6 months.
Best of luck, think positive and don't stress :)
By the way, it's thought that being a little older sways pink ;)

[The Anchor]

HI! :wave:
You don't have any time to lose...you've got to get pg right away. Not trying to stress you out, but you've got to get to work to catch that golden egg.

I would recommend the SMEP (Sperm Meets Egg Plan):
Sperm Meets Egg Plan (http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm)

And atomic's fertility diet - 5th post down on this page:
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/9052-swaying-under-special-circumstances-part-3-pcos.html

I had DD at 36 and DS at 37. A m/c, had just turned 40, in Oct 2012. I have been TTC (not swaying) since then...a chemical and an early m/c but nothing. We haven't given up yet, but at our "advanced" years it will take a little longer...Good luck to you :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, there is still a chance but we have to hit it hard and fast.

I would keep doing just what you're doing with exercise and weight loss. I would like to see you switch diets to something more fertility friendly and I have a diet that can sway pink and help with your egg quality here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/9052-swaying-under-special-circumstances-part-3-pcos.html (about 5 from the top, called "atomic fertility diet")

Stopping breastfeeding could possibly help a little bit but just giving it to ya straight from one 44 year old to another - the odds aren't sky high no matter how you do it, and I would hate to see you cut your nursing relationship short if you're enjoying it, for something that may not be in the cards anyway, if that makes sense. I would much rather see you enjoy your son you have because it is possible to get pregnant while nursing. If you are getting positive OPK and AF when it's supposed to come, the odds are very good you are ovulating just fine and there is no need to stop nursing at all.

What we have to do is just hope and pray for a good egg or two and then be ready to catch her when she comes around. I would have you either DTD every 4 days plus one more additional attempt at pos OPK or else SMEP Sperm Meets Egg Plan (http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm)

IF your hsuband is willing, I would give him either liquid Olive Leaf Extract (follow dose direcitons on bottle) or else dry OLE 500-1000 mg a day from now till BFP and then gradually wean off.

For you, I would up folic acid (pref. in form of folate, but it's expensive) to 4000 mcg a day, continue thru entire first trimester and then gradually wean off. And coq10 in ubiquinol form, 100 mg a day and at BFP gradually wean off.

Do NOT use RepHresh or any sway jellies. YOu can use Preseed as a lubricant (this may sway a little bit blue but you may need a little hlelp in order to get pregnant)

[Songbird]

Thanks for the advice and inspiration. And congratulations ! I am going to try the same plan. Going to health food store for supplements today. Quick question. When you say DTD every four days... Is that for example, Monday and Friday ? Or four days between like Monday and Saturday? Thanks! Now to figure out the diet plan. Blessings to you and your family.

[Songbird]

Thank you so much ! About to put your good advice to work. Hoping it works for you too!

[bluebonnet22]

Songbird - every 4 days means Monday and Friday

[atomic sagebrush]

TEchnically it's Monday and Fri but I think in your case it would be best to up that to Mon/Thurs for better chance of catching the egg.

Just reading a biography of Stephen Crane (author of The Red Badge of Courage) and his mom had him when she was 45 and that was in the 1860s!

[Songbird]

Ok. Sorry I'm still learning my way around the forum.
Thank you all for responding. So very thoughtful and helpfu and great advice.

Usuallywrite you are so blessed with so many children. Hope you get your lucky #7 :-)

Zivic-bubac. Congratulations! Hope you are enjoying your pregnancy.

Mumofsix. Wow 6 boys! Can't imagine how busy your life must be;-) I'll keep my fingers crossed for your BFP with a little girl for your family.

Little Lunasa. Congratulations! You have given me a little bit of hope.

[Songbird]

Atomic I'm impressed. You have time to read ;-) I haven't read a book since I was pregnant.
I have a few more questions for you of that's ok.

Should I keep taking prenatals? They have 800 mcg folate so do I adjust the amount from the 4000 mcg you recommend ? Also, should I continue taking the prenatal dha? Or the cal-mag?

Which method should we try first? SMEP or every 3 days + 1 at +opk?

Just want to thank you for all of your help and the wonderful work you are doing helping so many families. You are awesome!!!!

[Songbird]

Oops. Forgot to thank the anchor for the great advice. Hoping for a BFP for you too!

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, I didn't have internet for like 5 days straight there, so I got ambitious LOL :) Not the usual state of affairs, unfortunately.

I personally think the prenatals sway blue and if you start them at BFP then it's more than enough time for a healthy pregnancy. (same with DHA - great during pregnancy but may sway blue). It is YOUR call to make though. Do what feels right in your heart because you ahve to live with that - even though I think it's perfectly safe and got my daughtr at 41/42 without them, I know many people aren't comfy with it.

I don't think calcium sways pink and I also don't think it's safe for those of us over 40 to take unless we have bone densitiy issues. It may cause or contribute to heart attacks.

I'd start with every 3-4 days plus one at pos OPK.

[Songbird]

Thank you atomic! And I had no idea about the calcium possibly affecting heart. Only started taking them because somewhere had heard they might sway pink. So will stick with folate and coq10.

Now if I can just switch upt diet quite a bit. You have So much info. Very awesome and a little bit daunting. I need to go read it again. I think it was something like lots of veggies, little fruit, little chicken and eggs, little whole dairy, white rice sweet potatoe and white potato?

Have a beautiful day!

[atomic sagebrush]

Lots of us got BOYS while taking frightening levels of ye old calcium supplements and went onto get girls without them (myself included)

For the fertility friendly alt-diet you drop wheat all together. Potato, white rice, and any higher carb veg is still allowed on the fertility diet provided you have no history of PCOS

[LoveMyKids]

Thank you ladies, your posts give me hope :-) I am 39, pregnant with DS#3. I was planning to start swaying in a few months but this little guy had his own plan and somehow made it through:bluesperm: Now while being excited to meet him, I still can't give up a desire to have a daughter one day. If we decide to TTC again, I will be 41-42 by then since we want to wait till DS#3 is at least 2 years old (DS#2 and DS#3 will be only 20 months apart, so I don't think I will manage another baby right away). Sometimes my age scares me but on the other hand there are so many women nowadays having kids in their 40s! My DH's coworker has 4 children - #1 was born when she was 38 and #4 at 44!

Songbird - I wish you best of luck to get you second baby, I believe you will have your BFP pretty soon!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome! I had my daugher at 42, got pg with her when 41. I do think the scare talk is overblown - it may take longer but many of us are still perfectly capable of having heatlhy normal pregnancies into our 40's. :)

[1moregirl]

Atomic - I know this is an old post but I'm just checking to read what is read here so I can follow it as well, since it applies to me too. Should I then be having unprotected sex with DH every 3-4 days and an extra attempt at positive opk? Just checking as I thought you'd advised me to use condoms for the every 3-4 day attempts and making just ONE only attempt without condoms at positive opk. Have I understood correctly? I was also concerned about reading what you wrote about calcium and the heart issues as one night around a week before I miscarried I woke up in the middle of the night with pains under my right upper rib cage and back and felt dizzy (like a gallstone attack only I'd already had mine removed earlier this year). I'm certainly just going to take the folic acid and Coq10 this time round and maybe the prenatals 3x a week until BfP and then daily.

[atomic sagebrush]

If you want the best possible sway - one attempt.

If you want best odds of conception - e4d plus one attempt at pos. What each person does is up to what they want to do. I can't give blanket prescriptions for swaying because there are so many variables.

Yup not a fan of the calcium supps for older moms. It's not the way you're thinking of it though - it's not a "take this and have issues immediately" kind of thing, it's that calcium may contribute to the buildup of calcifications in the arteries that eventually can cause blockages in the arteries.

Were you getting enough potassium?? I know IG diet limits potassium and many people have experiences weird heart issues when they were not getting enugh potassium.

Additionally many people experience chest pains and heart palptiations during pregnancy anyway (I always did with all 5) and I actually wrote an essay about that here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/pregnancy-talk/1095-dealing-heart-issues-when-pregnant.html