To find out or not to find out, that is the question!

[Zivic-Bubac]

Tomorrow I have my u/s scan and then appt with my ob/gyn.:nails:
Soooo,shall I ask her to tell me baby's gender ( better say to confirm it) and then feel miserable for the rest of the pregnancy and/or burst into tears in front of her?
Or the better idea is to live in denial till November and then face the innevitable? At least I wouldn't have to fake happy face when I hear again it's a girl.

This is my last pregnancy and it's very unexpected and my first thought when I saw BFP was: OK, I'm going to enjoy every second of the journey!
But here I am again torturing myself with some owt "evidence"this MIGHT be a boy, tho I know it's another girl. :tissue:

After this baby, we're done having kids, yet my family is not complete and it never will be since I will never have a son.

I've learned my lesson: I could have 10 more kids, and they would be all girls.

[deaks66]

I think wait this time round. I never felt that way before until I contemplated swaying for number 4 and that's what I promised myself I would do. X

[babyb5]

I'm totally know how you feel. I'm too have 4 DD, this time again, I'm trying to sway for my boy (last baby). Just did my 13 weeks u/s scan today and the Dr. said it's 80% boy. I was trying to sway this baby for 1 year (I'm 40 years old), and got my unexpected BFP when my husband was sick during the week of my ovulation. Was going to skip that month. So we dtd 5 days before my Ovulation. I'm just prepare myself this is going to be my 5th girls. So you never know. Good luck.

[coocoobananas]

I think it depends how you are after baby is here. For me, this far I have never had any ppd even though I really wanted a girl the last 2x. I just fell in love and that was it. I did however, get very depressed when finding out they were boys while pregnant! I obviously don't feel the same attachment until they are here and the guilt of how I felt before hand was terrible so this time I had every intention to wait!
However, my nub shot was very promising to me to be what I was hoping for and then my hubby secretly video'd my anatomy scan and I went through frame by frame and again didn't see anything I didn't want to see...so basically I felt I knew what it was and it was what I wanted, so I found out!
If it was leaning more towards not being what I wanted, I would have waited. I could leave that little bit of hope in my pregnancy and enjoy it more (not a fan of pregnancy, so gd and that are not a good mixture!)
If you are fine once they are here, then I would wait as you feel it may not be going your way. Yes, it may be the greatest surprise ever and yes, the torture of waiting is terrible but it's your last time to enjoy a little hope and not spoil your pregnancy with dissapoinment.
That's my 2 cents! But obviously you have to go with your gut, although I think its tricky when you want something to go your way sooo bad!
I really hope this is your boy!

[Rosie85]

I would wait. I am in the exact same position as you. We are waiting.

[Abifasc]

Do you for sure know it's a girl? I went back and looked at your nub pics and they look very boyish.

[jmomof3girls]

I would find out!

[Mumof3girls]

I would find out too. I would not be able to wait 9 months.

[Nahri]

I would have to know! Number one to find out if my sway worked plus plan for the appropriate gender stuff. Do I continue to save DS's clothes or just the neutral ones and finally clean out his closet? Plus the months of working around my disappointment of not getting the desired gender. I think I am ok now, but later on I may not be.

[TishTashTosh]

We have already decided to not find out even before we started swaying - with 3 boys so far we found out.... even paid for special early scan to find out with ds3!

This will 100% be our last and I know if I find out I will be gutted and upset the rest of the pregnancy but if we found out when he is born ( and have a face/ personality) I will be much better.


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[Rosie85]

Tish...I could have written the exact same thing..word for word including the early private scan for ds3.

[coocoobananas]

Same with me! So if you go in around nub time ladies, I suggest not
Looking! But how can you not? I wanted to see my baby but if you have looked at lots of nubs, it can be clear as day as mine was. I didn't want to know but it was there, blaring!!!
I hope you ladies get your suprise and of course the surprise you're hoping for!!!

[sweetdream]

Thats why my us will be at 11wks! No reliable nub! We are waiting. And indeed its torture! I just hope its my girl. But if I know its DS4 I have no.hope at all. And this will be our last bubba too.

[foxymrsg]

I didn't find out with either of my DS's ds1 I was delighted totally didn't care that he was a boy as he was my first, ds2 was going to be my last but decided not to find out again and when he was born I was delighted to look at his little face and was pleased, but as I was being stitched up I was crying more than necessary and i think it was realising we were done and I didn't have my DG! But then the midwife was a bitch and I'm sure at one point she was stitching my ahole up! Lol!
But with the crying I'd never tell anyone that outside of here but of course DH knows and understands, but no one else could understand as it's so mixed emotions as you are looking at this gorgeous baby and love him but feel a little lost at the same time.
However having said all that I don't know how I'd have felt in my pregnant had I found out I wonder if I'd have struggled for the final few months I'm not sure.
If we go for a third we will find out but not tell anyone as can't bare to hear all the condolences if it's boy number three and don't want to hear how I've finally got it right if it is a girl! Yes someone actually said that yesterday when we were out in a group and a few have a mix of gender and one woman actually said they'd got it right and so and so got it right straight away as she had a girl first!!
Also wouldn't tell anyone just in case the scan was wrong! I know that's rarely the case in this day and age but just in case! Lol! I'd OBVIOUSLY tell everyone on here though! Lol
Sorry that turned into an essay!

[Zivic-Bubac]

This will 100% be our last and I know if I find out I will be gutted and upset the rest of the pregnancy but if we found out when he is born ( and have a face/ personality) I will be much better.


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Same here! FX for your baby girl!!!! :HH:

[Zivic-Bubac]

Thats why my us will be at 11wks! No reliable nub! Hahaha, huni thank you, you made me laugh! I hope it's your precious baby girl this time! :DD:

[Zivic-Bubac]

I think wait this time round. I never felt that way before until I contemplated swaying for number 4 and that's what I promised myself I would do. XDeak, you understand the problem 100%. Thank you for your kind words, I wish I know you personally :HH:

[Zivic-Bubac]

I'm totally know how you feel. I'm too have 4 DD, this time again, I'm trying to sway for my boy (last baby). Just did my 13 weeks u/s scan today and the Dr. said it's 80% boy. I was trying to sway this baby for 1 year (I'm 40 years old), and got my unexpected BFP when my husband was sick during the week of my ovulation. Was going to skip that month. So we dtd 5 days before my Ovulation. I'm just prepare myself this is going to be my 5th girls. So you never know. Good luck.I really LOVE to hear this sort of experiences! But this sort of miracle actually never happens to me.

I''m cheering for you, and really hope you get your :bluecheer: :xy::bluecheer:
Thank you for sharing!

[Zivic-Bubac]

I would wait. I am in the exact same position as you. We are waiting.I totally understand :bighug: More and more I'm leaning toward not asking (yet knowing, but without confirmation)

[Zivic-Bubac]

Do you for sure know it's a girl? I went back and looked at your nub pics and they look very boyish.Right now I want to give you big hug and cry a bit on your shoulder! Thank you, from your mouth to God's ears!

[Zivic-Bubac]

If it was leaning more towards not being what I wanted, I would have waited. I could leave that little bit of hope in my pregnancy and enjoy it more (not a fan of pregnancy, so gd and that are not a good mixture!)
If you are fine once they are here, then I would wait as you feel it may not be going your way. Yes, it may be the greatest surprise ever and yes, the torture of waiting is terrible but it's your last time to enjoy a little hope and not spoil your pregnancy with dissapoinment.

I really hope this is your boy!This! I'm trying not to ruin this whole experience with my obssesing. I'll beter prepare myself for another girl the best I can, and if it's a boy ( but miracles don't happen to me) I'll sure know how to cope with a surprise :wink:

Huge congratulations on your baby girl!!!! :XX:

[Zivic-Bubac]

I would find out!You are one brave mama!

[Zivic-Bubac]

understand as it's so mixed emotions as you are looking at this gorgeous baby and love him but feel a little lost at the same time.

If we go for a third we will find out but not tell anyone as can't bare to hear all the condolences if it's boy number three and don't want to hear how I've finally got it right if it is a girl!
This also, I just can't go through condolences ( this is the right word!!!!) if it's another girl. Once she's here, I beleive it would be different.
I was very disappointed DD3 was a girl, hoping for the miracle the entire time. Which of course didn't happen.
And all the stupid comments, especially from the immediate family ( yes, that's very sad to have a family like mine) didn't make me feel any better.

FX for your baby girl!!!! :cheer::cheer: :cheer:

[kitkat18]

So hard honey I will be in your position if I could just get a BFP!! I think we will wait, for me too I had bad GD during pregnancy with DS 2 but little when he arrived , he had a name, personality and we made him!! It was harder coping with negative remarks being pregnant. I have already planned a gender neutral nursery.... In my head!!! Good luck honey tough decision!! Xxxx
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[Zivic-Bubac]

Good luck honey tough decision!! Xxxx
Sent from my Windows Phone 8S by HTC using TapatalkThank you! :kissy:
You'll get that BFP eventually, you already have 2 babies so it will happen again for sure. It took me over a year to conceive DD3.

[kitkat18]

Thanks zivic for your kind words Xx
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[Abifasc]

Right now I want to give you big hug and cry a bit on your shoulder! Thank you, from your mouth to God's ears!

I hope it is your sweet son. I would say try not to worry but I'm over here obsessing every symptom wondering if my baby is my girl finally :) can't wait to hear your update!!

[foxymrsg]

Whatever you choose to do will be the right decision for you I'm sure of that! I'll send you all my blue dust for your pink! Lol! I'm now off to look at your nub shot as not sure I've seen it yet :)

[QueenB3blue]

I struggle with this now and I am not even pg. I have found out with all 3 of my sons. I say a lot that I am going to wait because this is for sure our last! But what I am really nervous about is being upset after delivery. There would be no alone time for me to process my emotions if it was another boy. I really don't know how I would react. But if I would get upset everyone would be there to see and that would make me feel even worse!
If I do find out while pregnant regardless if it is boy or girl I am not telling anyone!! In fact, I will hold off on a pregnancy announcement for as long as I can. The comments are pretty unbearable!

Good luck with whatever you decide:)

[Zivic-Bubac]

Thank you all for your replies. While I was reading, it was becoming more and more clear to me I DON'T WANT TO KNOW :o
I'll keep you updated! :HH:

[coocoobananas]

Trust me these things don't happen for me either! I think I am still in shock I heard girl, I never ever thought I would! If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone!! Fx 1000x for you!!!

This! I'm trying not to ruin this whole experience with my obssesing. I'll beter prepare myself for another girl the best I can, and if it's a boy ( but miracles don't happen to me) I'll sure know how to cope with a surprise :wink:

Huge congratulations on your baby girl!!!! :XX:

[luckylass]

Zivic I am so so praying this is your boy.

[Rosie85]

Hope your scan went well. Waiting for an update!

[deaks66]

Deak, you understand the problem 100%. Thank you for your kind words, I wish I know you personally :HH:

Me too :) we're on the same wavelength xx

[Magical22]

Any news???

I think I would want to know to prepare myself even if I told no one else but DH


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[Zivic-Bubac]

UPDATE!

So I survived u/s :wink: and ask my ob/gyn not to tell me the gender and she said: "I guess you already have what you want, this baby is a bonus. Am I right?" and she smiled like she saw through me.
I mumbled something like : mmhhm...right...and the whole time looked AWAY from the monitor. I wanted to see my baby but I was afraid I would saw girl bits.

Anyhow, baby has choroid plexus cyst, one in each plexus, diameter 4.5mm.
My nephew had that too, but I freaked out a bit, though my dr said nothing to worry about, the cysts will most likely resolve in 3 weeks, since everything else looks perfect.
I googled the moment I got home, and found that choroid plexus cysts are one of the markers for Trisomy 18 (Edwar's syndrome), but they can occur in normal fetuses in 1-2%.
She scheduled me again for u/s to check the cysts :worry:

Other thing is my placenta is low, one pole is reaching cervix. I asked : Is it previa? No, just low lying, cervix is free and as the baby grows, placenta will most likely move up, which she'll check again in 3 weeks.

I'm so obsessed that for one short second I thought: previa is more common in boys, maybe there's still a hope.

I have a deep inner feeling this baby girl is 100% all right.

Sorry for the long post!

[foxymrsg]

Oh Hun what a worry for you! I'm praying and keeping my fingers crossed that everything is ok in your next scan. Please step away from google though Hun it's never helpful and makes you worry usually for no reason! Please keep us posted x

[kitkat18]

Well done for making it through zivic!! I'm sure he/she will be fine , good to get that next scan done! Keep us updated Xx
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