cpsvlc08
August 6th, 2014, 12:25 AM
I feel so ridiculous even writing this but I can't get it off my mind. I have 2 beautiful little boys and if/when we start ttc again I hope for a girl. I don't think I ever realized how much I wanted a girl until I got pregnant with my 2nd and became fanatical about finding out what the gender was… I did every test 'known to man' (OWT) and when I did find out at 21wks that I was having our 2nd boy I cried (so hard). I look back at this and feel guilty because DS2 is such a light in our lives and a big mamas boy and he was meant to be ours. I love him (and his brother) with every single fibre of my being! That being said, I still have a strong desire for a girl … I do feel that there is a different relationship with sons and daughters as your child grows and I really want that experience. That being said if the situation was reversed I would equally want a boy to share in the experience of raising a boy.
Anyways, we likely will try and have another child at some point but I'm 37 (and dh 39)so who knows if I'll even be successful but I've always been a believer in psychic readings (although I've never felt as though as I've had a great reading where it was 'right' on) but I've paid for 2 online readings and than had a in person reading last summer and all said I would have 1 more child - the lady who I went to in person said I would have a girl and another online one said girl and then today I got one back from one that was recommended and she said boy. My heart sunk! I knew it was to good to be true … lol! I can't help but be sad! I'm not even holding on to any hope that a dream could be realized… I feel like this is the story of my life. Don't get me wrong I'm so lucky to have the beyond wonderful boys I have but completely separately I still want a girl. I know I need to get past this and like everything else I know I will but because I can't talk to anyone about this in real life without feeling judged (or very few people) I just felt like I needed to get it out there and off my chest.
I should add I know most people (especially non believers)are going to think I'm crazy to put any stock in this but even though I'm trying not to think about it I can't help it.
Thanks for reading!
Anyways, we likely will try and have another child at some point but I'm 37 (and dh 39)so who knows if I'll even be successful but I've always been a believer in psychic readings (although I've never felt as though as I've had a great reading where it was 'right' on) but I've paid for 2 online readings and than had a in person reading last summer and all said I would have 1 more child - the lady who I went to in person said I would have a girl and another online one said girl and then today I got one back from one that was recommended and she said boy. My heart sunk! I knew it was to good to be true … lol! I can't help but be sad! I'm not even holding on to any hope that a dream could be realized… I feel like this is the story of my life. Don't get me wrong I'm so lucky to have the beyond wonderful boys I have but completely separately I still want a girl. I know I need to get past this and like everything else I know I will but because I can't talk to anyone about this in real life without feeling judged (or very few people) I just felt like I needed to get it out there and off my chest.
I should add I know most people (especially non believers)are going to think I'm crazy to put any stock in this but even though I'm trying not to think about it I can't help it.
Thanks for reading!