Gender Reveal Party?

[Arimethia]

So since this will probably be our last I was thinking about throwing a gender reveal party for friends and family where we do one of those Pinteresty things like cut a cake to reveal pink or blue frosting or open a box of pink or blue balloons.

I've been debating though if my husband and I should also be in the dark about the gender until the party. It could really go either way: if it's a girl everyone will be able to tell how excited I am, if it's a boy, I'm unsure I'd be able to hide my disappointment, and I'm pretty sure I want to process that privately. I think we'll do the party but my husband and I will be the only ones in on the gender beforehand.

Anybody else thinking of doing something special like this to celebrate, even if you don't get your DG? Would you want to be in the dark too?

[angielorna]

I'm hoping to stay team green, but the further along I get, the more uncertain I am about it. If we do decide to find out, I am going to do a gender reveal and I will be in the dark until the cake is cut. I love the ideas of balloons wrapped in a box, too :) Those who would be invited (in my case) would understand if I show a little disappointment but it will probably be less than theirs!

Angie

[carmella_marie]

PLEASE DONT I have a horror story to tell you.

A friend of mine desperately wanted a DS. But she also wanted a gender surprise party. She thought she could handle learning the news at the gender reveal party so she had her gender ultrasound and had the tech write the gender on an US pic and put it in the envelope. It's a long story but there was a MAJOR mix up!! It was announced as BOY! at the party and she was so happy, about 10 minutes later they figure out no, it might not be a boy, so she opens the envelope and it says GIRL and she started bawling at the party. It was absolutely horrible but a darling little girl was born a few months later.

[angielorna]

Oh my goodness!!! how does THAT happen?! How heartbreaking for her.

Angie

[carmella_marie]

They had two small cards, one said boy, one said girl, the tech was supposed to throw away one and put the other in a giant bag of other cards that had question marks on them and then mix it up, guests would draw cards and everyone would read their cards at once, so no one knew who'd find out the gender first. Someone yelled boy really quickly, so a few people didn't have time to read their cards. But then someone said wait, my card says girl, so they had the envelope with the pic to confirm.

[Hopingforaprincess]

I did cupcakes...and the gender was wrong!!! This time I'm waiting until I know for sure and since my husband will more than likely still be in Afghanistan...I'm trying to figure out a way to surprise him. For my family...I'm keeping everything hush until the day I give birth.

[hotdogz&boyz]

Honestly, I'd never be in the dark unless I had no preference whatsoever. I've seen it go south too and I just think how hard it would be both for mom and for the party guests who have no idea how to manage an upset mama.

My friend decided to do an announcement photoshoot and was letting the photographer create a collage of the announcement pics and posting on FB while tagging them. Well...baby was not what mama hoped for...and unfortunately you can tell in the first few pics before she managed to get her "game face" on. But I just felt bad because I wouldn't have wanted those pics all over the Internet and potentially even having it around forever for the kid to find down the road. It was pretty obvious she was really upset.

Yeah, so if I were doing a gender reveal party, I'd make it a surprise for everyone else, not me. Even with barely a preference, I still don't think I want to find out in front of anyone, just in case I don't react terribly wonderfully in that first moment. It would be a big risk, in my opinion.

[Mrs_Incredible]

Even in private I've been a mess finding out the gender, both for my ig opposite (we took our 2 boys to the scan so i fell apart at home) and this time when i found out via email that harmony blood results said my "healthy girl" was finally a reality i broke my heart crying and sobbing with shock and disbelief. It wasn't pretty, and that was me getting the news I'd always dreamed of! I think any mum with gender preference needs to process this in private, even if it works out in your favour the emotions can be too overwhelming for an audience. Xx

[LilithWiser1979]

This is a highly individual decision, but I could never, and I think if you have ANY GD whatsoever, it's probably a bad idea.

[bluebonnet22]

Agree with all the other posters, I have also seen a gender reveal party go south! I unfortunately was the party planner and felt horrible about the entire thing. I went with the couple to their U/S and got a picture from the tech saying "It's a girl!" (they already had a girl). They both wanted a boy so badly. After the scan they were worried that the picture I got wasn't a good enough potty shot and what if it was wrong. I told them "no, from this picture there is no doubt, the baby is what it is". Well they took my comment as "it's a boy!" and got super excited for the gender party and were devestated that it was a girl. The dad in particular was really upset and cussed and moaned the entire party and ended up pouting and leaving early. NIGHTMARE. Don't do it!!

If i ever get pregnant I do plan on doing a gender reveal for my immediate family only in which only I & DH know beforehand. Something simple like a cupcake with the color inside for DS to smash open and see. He will be too little to understand (2 years old), but would love to involve him somehow.

[atomic sagebrush]

I really really really really really would not do a gender reveal party unless you had no preference. When I went into my ultrasound with DS 3 I really had no idea how bad I was going to take it. I am NOT an emotional person whatsoever but when they finally allowed me to go in to use the restroom I ended up crying in the bathroom. I did not have one iota of gender preference when I got pregnant. I just totally expected to hear girl and it was like a murder had been committed and someone had taken the baby away that I thought I had and brought me a changeling.

I felt like an idiot in front of my husband who thought it was humorous that I wanted a boy and was getting a girl (not in a mean way, but exactly the type of thing that people would joke about at a party setting and boy howdy am I glad it was just him instead of a room of 50 people). I also cried a little bit right in front of the tech at my ultrasound with my 4th boy (not hard like I did with DS 3, but my voice was cracking and it was obvious) and DH didn't take that quite so well. :/ He didn't come with me to my ultrasound with DD and I ALSO cried at that one LOL. I NEVER cry, let alone in front of a stranger, and I"m pretty sure that if i'd had all that pressure plus the pressure of the party I would have totally had a meltdown.

BTW did I mention I didn't even tell anyone I was pregnant till AFTER I knew gender with my daughter?? Smartest thing I ever did!!

[Adia]

OMG! I can't believe some of these horrible stories! How awful!

I don't have any horror stories to add, but I have noticed that the most successful gender reveal stories are those who really don't care or they have several of each gender and its something new and different.

If I were to do one at all it would be after I already found the gender and had time to come to terms with it. I would be overwhelmed with joy if I was having a boy, but that reaction would be intense and something I would keep private.

I think the ideas I have seen in pinterest are really creative and cute, but I am just not that kind of person. Maybe for my kids we would do that....I have to agree with one poster, if you have even an ounce of GD don't have a gender reveal party unless its for others and you already know what it is.

[carmella_marie]

I really really really really really would not do a gender reveal party unless you had no preference. When I went into my ultrasound with DS 3 I really had no idea how bad I was going to take it. I am NOT an emotional person whatsoever but when they finally allowed me to go in to use the restroom I ended up crying in the bathroom. I did not have one iota of gender preference when I got pregnant. I just totally expected to hear girl and it was like a murder had been committed and someone had taken the baby away that I thought I had and brought me a changeling.

I felt like an idiot in front of my husband who thought it was humorous that I wanted a boy and was getting a girl (not in a mean way, but exactly the type of thing that people would joke about at a party setting and boy howdy am I glad it was just him instead of a room of 50 people). I also cried a little bit right in front of the tech at my ultrasound with my 4th boy (not hard like I did with DS 3, but my voice was cracking and it was obvious) and DH didn't take that quite so well. :/ He didn't come with me to my ultrasound with DD and I ALSO cried at that one LOL. I NEVER cry, let alone in front of a stranger, and I"m pretty sure that if i'd had all that pressure plus the pressure of the party I would have totally had a meltdown.

BTW did I mention I didn't even tell anyone I was pregnant till AFTER I knew gender with my daughter?? Smartest thing I ever did!!

I think that's so smart! I am not telling anyone we are pregnant until I know the gender, and I've already talked to DH about paying out of pocket for the harmony or panorama or materniT21 test so we can know even earlier. I'm just dreading people's comments like "oh I bet you want a girl" or "do you think it's another boy?" So I just personally need to know the gender before we announce the pregnancy.

[bluebonnet22]

Carmella - are you under 35? I'm having trouble finding a test that will even allow me to take it at my age (30) even if I pay out of pocket. Maternit21 told me results were invalid at my age, WTF. So anyways if you find one let me know! Otherwise I plan on just telling everyone we took the test and it's a boy so they me alone! I show crazy early and live a block from my mom so there is no way I can hide the pregnancy from family for more than a few weeks.

[atomic sagebrush]

??? I know of several people who used the new blood tests at lots of different ages. That is the first I"ve heard of that.

FWIW I always had showed early with all my pg but for some reason (grace of God??) my pg with my daughter didn't "pop" till right before the ultrasound. Even my adult sons who lived with me didn't notice until the week before my ultrasound at which time they both asked me independently if I was pg. But I was 18 weeks by then!! I didn't even tell my husband for quite a while:hide: and he didn't notice, he told me I needed to go on a diet a couple times LOL

[nuthinbutpink]

Carmella - are you under 35? I'm having trouble finding a test that will even allow me to take it at my age (30) even if I pay out of pocket. Maternit21 told me results were invalid at my age, WTF. So anyways if you find one let me know! Otherwise I plan on just telling everyone we took the test and it's a boy so they me alone! I show crazy early and live a block from my mom so there is no way I can hide the pregnancy from family for more than a few weeks.

That really doesn't make any sense. The test is the same regardless of age.

[Prepsina2014]

I had a blood test done for gender at age 34 - it was no problem and they didn't even take an interest in my age... I also didn't tell a soul before knowing the gender (and didn't tell them the gender - my mother and MIL know of my desire for a daughter and I somehow didn't want the gender to be an issue or up for discussion). I will do the same thing next time I fall pregnant.

[bluebonnet22]

Basically when I called they sent me this from the website:

Clinical indications for testing.
We offer this test for pregnancies with one or more of the following conditions:

Advanced maternal age
Personal or family history of chromosomal abnormalities
Fetal ultrasound abnormality suggestive of chromosomal abnormalities
Positive serum screening test

In other words all the peer reviewed scientific research about risks, etc is all calculated for people with a "high risk" of a chromosomal abnormality. I get that the test is the same (especially for gender!), but kind of like how at the NT scan all the risks are calculated based on your age? They don't guarantee that the calculations are the same for a low risk population. I have a biomedical engineering degree so I get logically the test should be just as accurate on low risk populations (and I still want it really badly!), but technically I'm low risk and my doctor won't allow me to take it (and maternit21 customer service wouldn't work with me).

Anyways, all that aside, I will start a new thread when I'm pregnant (if that ever happens!) asking for all the US ladies experience with blood tests if they are under 35 (ie how much did you pay, which test, which week, etc) because I want it so badly. I wanted maternit21 so badly for my first pregnancy - not for the gender but I love how much more accurate it is than the NT scan for abnormalities and I couldn't get anyone to let me take it. As a side note my SIL conceived a child with downs syndrome (proven by amnio) so I technically would qualify based on that (I would think), but obviously have no way to prove that and I'm not about to bug my SIL for her medical records regarding a terminated pregnancy.

[carmella_marie]

This us from panoramas website:

"The Panorama test is made for women of any age and ethnicity who are at least 9 weeks pregnant. It is not meant for women who are carrying more than one baby (twins or triplets), or for women who have used a donor egg, or have received a bone marrow transplant."

[rachel]

yeh i would def NOT be able to do it and i would keep my pg secret until i knew the sex as well

[bluebonnet22]

This us from panoramas website:

"The Panorama test is made for women of any age and ethnicity who are at least 9 weeks pregnant. It is not meant for women who are carrying more than one baby (twins or triplets), or for women who have used a donor egg, or have received a bone marrow transplant."

Yay! I wonder how to go about getting tested when your doctor doesn't work with Panorama. I will definitely have to call them when I get knocked up to see if they can refer me to another doctor in my area that might offer it ! Thanks! :) Hope they can work out a reasonable cash payment with me since I doubt insurance will cover it at my age.

[Three princes]

I did a gender reveal party with ds3. I did not know the gender before we cut the cake but I felt in my heart it was a boy. I was so upset with everyone's reactions with ds2 I thought that it would make everyone excited and nix the negative comments... I was wrong!!! After we cut the cake I acted excited and had a big smile on my face but was told by family they were "sorry" and "they were weakly hoping for a girl" and more things I won't even put on here. It was terrible and I was sick to my stomach and just wanted everyone to leave. I would not recommend anyone having a gender preference to ever do this... It's too much pressure.

I hope you get your girl but most of all I hope you have a beautiful healthy baby xo

[Arimethia]

I didn't think about how my family would react. My in-laws might have initially hurtful reactions if it's a boy. (I got yet another call from my husband's grandma and aunt about how i must be carrying a girl baby.) It might be best to do some kind of reveal on video and post it on Facebook if it's a boy. (Which I feel like it is, but feelings aren't fact, lol)

[EmileeJane]

As much as I would like a gender reveal party I couldn't do it. I'm such a terrible actress and I have this terrible problem with word vomit, constantly saying what I think and feel.
I always assumed I'd have girls so when ultrasound tech said 'boy' with ds1, I broke down in the room and car and off and on for the next 3yrs.. . We were team green for baby #2. Thinking it wouldn't matter. Well when I had him it didn't it was an amazing birth and of course I was so happy to meet my baby. But a couple days after we came home I began to mourn the loss of my daughter. It felt awful to have this new SWEET AMAZING baby and to be on a hormone roller coaster, crying over something I never had.
Pretty sure if/when we are expecting again we will have a tech write it down and we'll wait till 7 mos or so to do a private, just DH and myself, reveal. Then we'll likely keep it a secret till baby is born, to try to avoid negative comments that trigger sadness. I figure waiting that long will give me time to adjust to idea of whatever and work through any disappointment. But also I'll be far enough along to not have to keep the secret too long and be able to look forward to meeting baby sooner rather then later.
I am clearly, however, no expert and nothing has worked for me so far. Ha ha ha! I do know a large reveal party is out for me! Good luck! :)

[Arimethia]

We decided not to do one. We're finding out on Thursday but we won't be telling anyone we know what it is. I want family to look forward to the birth and if it's another boy they won't be as excited, it will give them something to look forward to and once they meet him they won't be as disappointed. Plus it will drive them crazy until then, lol. It will also give me some time to acclimate to my emotions without having to deal with my family's issues about it.

[EmileeJane]

Yes! That does make people crazy! Let them squirm:)

[KidAtHeart]

EmileeJane, that is exactly what we did! We waited until 8 months or so and found out privately. That way I had time to adjust and could keep it a secret. People mean well, mostly, but it's none of their business if you find out early. You don't owe anyone anything in this scenario. Gd is a bitch!!