I crashed

[Yuzu]

For a couple of days I felt okay about not getting my BFP this month, but today I feel so depressed and off balance. Not only did I not get my BFP but my email was hacked, my son fell off the bed (and I feel horribly guilty about that), and I walked through a fire ant hill. I obviously need to lock myself in a closet before I set myself on fire.:sad:

I know I haven't been trying that long, only a few months, but I really expected to have no trouble getting pg and I want a girl so bad. Oh my gosh, it hurts! I have been looking at high tech this morning--I know my hubby doesn't really want to go that route because I would have to use donor eggs, but I'm feeling desperate! I'm not sure how many more disappointments I can take in this process.

Sorry for the rant.:broken:

[begonia]

Oh Yuzu I'm so sorry love! FWIW my baby girl rolled off the bed at 9 months and passed out for a full 30 seconds; it was horrifying. So I've been there and know it can rattle you like nobody's business. They're tough little cookies though (you know that I'm sure!) and I bet he'll be JUST fine.

On the TTC business all I can say is we all understand. The great thing about this forum is if nothing else you will get support and women letting you know you're not alone. Vent away and don't apologize.

FX your daughter comes to you through whatever means you pursue, and that she does it soon... I'm sending you loads of my pink dust! AND I hope tomorrow is just a better day for you, that alone will help!

[zanacal]

Aww, so many hugs Yuzu x

[nuthinbutpink]

Oh, Hun. Stay the course. It is always darkest before the dawn, right?!

[jude17]

I know exactly how you feel about wanting a baby girl so bad it hurts. I have a really cute 5 month old baby boy (also have a 4 year old boy). My baby is so adorable but every minute of the day I am thinking about a baby girl and I feel so sad that I am never going to experience the joy of my own little girl. My sister (she has 4 year twin boys) had a girl 5 weeks before my baby and we see her every week and it hurts so much every time I have to see her baby girl and pretend that I am so happy to see this gorgeous wee girl in all the pretty girly clothes etc. She is always comparing the two babies saying how she is so happy to have a placid girl after 2 boys and then she is always asking me how I like having 2 boys and saying well at least you have a niece so it doesn't matter that you will only have boys. It really does hurt so MUCH.

I am also starting to feel panicky about ttc as it took me 10 months to get preggy with my second DS and I don't think my husband will be on board if it takes me that long again to get pregnant. I was also wondering if we could go high tech but as I live in New Zealand it would probably be around 30 thousand (including travel etc) for one go and I am nearly 37 so the chances of it working first go are low. I wish we had lots of money and then I would do high tech but its not an option for us. This really does suck big time.

[Yuzu]

It really helps to come to this board and get support. I thank you all! It just seems so overwhelming sometimes. My sis sent me some pictures of her little girl today who is totally adorable and amazingly cute and it just felt like a stab in the heart. Instead of enjoying the pics I was sobbing over them.

At least I'm not alone in this. Thank you again.

[CapricornAquarius]

It really helps to come to this board and get support. I thank you all! It just seems so overwhelming sometimes. My sis sent me some pictures of her little girl today who is totally adorable and amazingly cute and it just felt like a stab in the heart. Instead of enjoying the pics I was sobbing over them.

At least I'm not alone in this. Thank you again.

Yuzu Im sorry you feel this way. Atleast your sister isnt doing it in a mean way like my sister is.

My sister has a girl and boy & when she told me her second was a boy her tone in her voice was like "ha ha you see I got one of each, Im better then you" Im currently not talking to her amongst many other hurtful things she has said to me, but the sad thing is, this is more of a reason why I really hope to fall pregnant with a boy, just to throw it back in her face, wish I didnt feel this way.

DD1 :ballerina: DD2 :giggle: