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View Full Version : And this is why I don't want anyone to know we are TTC.



QueenB3blue
September 12th, 2014, 07:56 AM
My husband just told me his sister left him a message this morning telling him she dreamt last night that he was holding a baby girl and it was his!!
I already feel the pressure building up from this! I would hate to disappoint everyone with another boy:(
With ds3 I could since less excitement with many of my family members. It is so disheartening. I wish I could just TTC and not worrying about it being a boy or girl. Of course I want a daughter but maybe it wouldn't be so hard if I didn't get these weird vibes from my family.

September was my first month TTC. I am in my 2ww now. That dream did come at a rather odd time. I reminded my DH to keep quit about trying for another.

This is also the reason why I will hold off on a pregnancy announcement for as long as I can! And I am going to lie about not finding out the gender!!

Just venting.....
Thanks

timi10
September 12th, 2014, 08:16 AM
I can relate. When I was expecting baby girl 3 every single person behaved as if I was expecting a whale or mouse . "oh, what a shame, you havent succeded!" :( can you imagine? also, when I had my 3rd my MIL asked me to donate all of our girls' clothing as it was time we had a boy next. what a shame. of course I would love to have a little boy too, but come on! now I am 9w we havent told the family yet, for this single purpose! to avoid remarks . hang in there, and enjoy tww, its lovely, how much I love and hate the waiting . FX you are PG

QueenB3blue
September 12th, 2014, 09:40 AM
So glad to know I am not the only one to let these kind of things get to me:)

Good luck on getting your baby boy, timi!!!

odd
September 12th, 2014, 11:11 AM
Oh man..as if the hopes and pressure we put on ourselves isn't enough, everyone else has to go and make it worst.

I only have one son and am.pregnant again but everyone in our family has pretty much told me I will never have a girl and has already given this baby a boy name and are calling it by that name.

It passes me off to no end but I can't say anything but just smile and nod because if I do, they'll know I'm hoping for a girl..and if it's not a girl, that "I told you so" is spoon much worst than GD for me

2boysJustOneGirl
September 12th, 2014, 11:28 AM
I won't be telling anybody I am pregnant until I absolutely have to next time around. Where I live it's very uncommon to have more than 2 kids, and the comments about "larger" families (comments from asshole PP moms) are just so insensitive and really way out of line. Nobody should have an opinion on anybody's family dynamics. It's not their business! And I don't feel like we should have to justify our desire for more kids to anybody.
When I was pregnant with DS2 people generally responded negatively towards it. I didn't get any exciting congrats or well wishes. Just empty "can't control that" comments that really hurt. It only made my GD worse.

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Adia
September 12th, 2014, 01:52 PM
I couldn't agree more about keeping TTC quiet & about keeping a pregnancy quiet until it's painfully obvious. I don't think I will share the gender either.
IMO, I think lying is perfectly acceptable in these matters.

Adia
September 12th, 2014, 01:53 PM
I can relate. When I was expecting baby girl 3 every single person behaved as if I was expecting a whale or mouse . "oh, what a shame, you havent succeded!" :( can you imagine? also, when I had my 3rd my MIL asked me to donate all of our girls' clothing as it was time we had a boy next. what a shame. of course I would love to have a little boy too, but come on! now I am 9w we havent told the family yet, for this single purpose! to avoid remarks . hang in there, and enjoy tww, its lovely, how much I love and hate the waiting . FX you are PG

You made me laugh!:giggle:

3BoysBlessed
September 13th, 2014, 12:44 AM
I can relate. And I do not know what possesses these people to be so ignorant and utterly rude! I would never say a thing about gender of children even before I ever had any...so why would anyone do such a thing? . I swear that if people did not place their unwelcome and unkind expectations on us, there would not be such extreme GD because I think that makes up for 90% of the emotional difficulty in not having the opposite gender of what we already have. At parent teacher orientation the other night for my sons Kindergrten class, my sons were all with me. There were only 5 of us parents in the classroom while our kids were outside. The mom of my son's best friend was talking with another mom (pregnant with her third)about10 feet away who he two boys already. Well, little miss "I have one of each" decided to go on and on bout how this pregnant mother of two boys "needs. Girl" because she is "outnumbered" and oh how apache could not stand having more than one boy because of how they re messy, rowdy, etc. I wanted to pick her up by her hair and throw her! I m not that type of person, but I was livid! I pretended a if I heard nothing and filled out my paperwork. I could not even believe how stupid and insensitive she was being to this woman who was about to find out in two days what she would be having. She seemed to blow it off, but I sensed a deep pain in her quietness. I know that feeling all too well and I never share we are pregnant until I know what the gender is since our 2nd son. It is just too much. I am just prepared to comfort her next time I see her...she should know now what she is having but I will be waiting for her to share as I will not ask.

timi10
September 13th, 2014, 01:51 AM
You made me laugh!:giggle::rofl: glad ! :D

ThinkinPinkin
September 13th, 2014, 12:20 PM
We are TTC and when we get pregnant our plan is to not tell anyone until after we know the gender at the earliest. We did the same with DS #2 and announced we were pregnant and having a boy at the same time so we avoided some of the "oh, I hope it's a girl" crap. The other thing that irks me is "are you going to keep trying for a girl?" seriously? Some people have no brain mouth filter.

QueenB3blue
September 14th, 2014, 09:05 PM
Ever since Friday I have been going crazy. I started to think of all the things I could be doing differently for my sway. Exercising closer to 90 minutes, skipping my morning coffee, having DH abstain......
I seemed to calm down Saturday but then my boobs started feeling really sore. And I am like, o geez! You are pg!!! First month trying. Then last night I dreamt that I had a baby and it was a boy!!! I just tested with a cheap internet test and I swear I see a line. I am freaking out!! I know I should be thankful if a am pg because it takes some months and months to conceive:( I just think I would feel more comfortable about my sway if it took a couple months TTC.

I will test again tomorrow with fmu. Now I am hoping that my snl was having some weird sixth sense moment and I am pg with a daughter.

Here I am venting again!

kitkat18
September 19th, 2014, 10:40 AM
Queen b, totally normal to over analyze your sway I think we have all done it! Could have eaten less, excersized more etc etc!! Just think how different your lifestyle was as to conceiving boys and there is no perfect sway as its life and stuff happens!!
It took me four cycles to get pregnant and I dropped stuff along the way in order to get a BFP so in some ways you are very lucky you caught the egg first time HEAPS of ladies have got girls first month ttc good luck and crossing my fingers its your wee girl XXX
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QueenB3blue
September 19th, 2014, 07:59 PM
Queen b, totally normal to over analyze your sway I think we have all done it! Could have eaten less, excersized more etc etc!! Just think how different your lifestyle was as to conceiving boys and there is no perfect sway as its life and stuff happens!!
It took me four cycles to get pregnant and I dropped stuff along the way in order to get a BFP so in some ways you are very lucky you caught the egg first time HEAPS of ladies have got girls first month ttc good luck and crossing my fingers its your wee girl XXX
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Thanks so much kitkat!
It was so weird how I felt when I first found out I was pg. I really thought I was going to have an anxiety attack! I feel much better now. Still a little anxious but exciting to be adding to my family. I think it is just when swaying we work so hard on getting our bodies to favor the right gender. Then once your pregnant there is nothing you can do anymore! It is kind of like when you are overly tired from a crazy day but you go to bed and can't sleep because you can't shut your brain off:) all you want to do is relax and get some rest but your brain won't let you.
I know I have done all I can. I just hope I can keep my head quiet so I can enjoy this pregnancy;)

FX for you also!!

kitkat18
September 19th, 2014, 09:27 PM
Honey I hear you!! Its our marthaness and also the fact we have worked really really hard and soooo desire one gender hoping we both get lucky!! Xx
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