mt9178
September 30th, 2014, 01:20 PM
After having reached a place at the beginning of the year where I had accepted I was going to be a boy mom to four sons, we had a huge surprise positive pregnancy test a few months later. We were not trying and it came as a gigantic surprise. We were excited and looking forward to the new addition to our family. An addition to our home was being planned and both my husband and I were talking about future ideas and plans for our growing family.
At our NT scan things looked great, but the baby was lying on the cord so we could not get the proper measurements and would try again in a week. After posting an ultrasound picture on the forums we received over 30 girl guesses (not one boy guess) on here and IG. At this point, I was over the moon excited and could not believe that my dream of a daughter was actually coming true. I had begun to think about her all the time and was really looking forward to meeting her in November.
One week later, those dreams were shattered when at my follow-up ultrasound there was no heart beat showing. I was devastated, crushed and heartbroken. I felt like it was some terrible joke that someone had played on me. Here are your dreams of your daughter dangling in front of me and then they were yanked away and squashed. Nope sorry you are not worthy of this, ha why would you think you were? I have so many questions, why and how could something like this happen. How could an amazing surprise end in heartache?
I have this hole in my heart now that was not there before. Do I try to go back to the place that I had reached before or do I try again for our daughter? I know there is no right answer but I am just so torn as what to do. I am scared to try again as I am hypothyroid and have a feeling this contributed to the loss.
At our NT scan things looked great, but the baby was lying on the cord so we could not get the proper measurements and would try again in a week. After posting an ultrasound picture on the forums we received over 30 girl guesses (not one boy guess) on here and IG. At this point, I was over the moon excited and could not believe that my dream of a daughter was actually coming true. I had begun to think about her all the time and was really looking forward to meeting her in November.
One week later, those dreams were shattered when at my follow-up ultrasound there was no heart beat showing. I was devastated, crushed and heartbroken. I felt like it was some terrible joke that someone had played on me. Here are your dreams of your daughter dangling in front of me and then they were yanked away and squashed. Nope sorry you are not worthy of this, ha why would you think you were? I have so many questions, why and how could something like this happen. How could an amazing surprise end in heartache?
I have this hole in my heart now that was not there before. Do I try to go back to the place that I had reached before or do I try again for our daughter? I know there is no right answer but I am just so torn as what to do. I am scared to try again as I am hypothyroid and have a feeling this contributed to the loss.