Not sure where else to post this....

[Navywife620]

I have no where else to really put this, so here it goes. When DS3 was around 6 months we decided that we would probably have one more. My hopes went up that I can try one last time for a daughter. We were going to start trying this summer. But my husband is gone A LOT with his job. So I am left here alone taking care of 3 kids by myself. Closest family is 2 hours away. I am starting to realize that I honestly probably couldn't handle 4 kids. I have a hard time physically and mentally taking care of 3. So my heart is breaking because I am telling myself I need to put that desire for a daughter behind me and move on. But my heart breaks for her. There's a hole in my heart for her. I know that the 4th had a good chance of being another boy, but just the fact now is I will probably never know. I wish this whole situation was different, I wish my husband was home every night. I will probably grow old always having that hole in my heart for her.

[blackbekki]

Could you not try when your children are at school? I know you will still have the same problem when all are at home but with older kids who are already in routine etc it could possibly be easier to cope with 4.? How old are your kids you have now? Mine are very young and I too struggle with 2 who's 4 and 1 both boys currently pregnant with number 4 as baby no2 was my daughter stillborn :( am sure this baby is also a boy and will be confirming that in a week. I don't think I could not try again myself but in the same position I feel waiting until all mine are at school before I tried one last time x


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[Adia]

Honey, your husband is not going to be on sea duty forever. Navy life doesn't last forever. Your kids will grow up and get a lot easier. You have a small baby, a deployed husband, live far from family and you are probably exhausted dealing with everything. Navy life can be so hard and feels like it will never end.

Now is not the best time to be making this decision. Chances are you are young enough that is you can let DS3 get a little older, wait until you get on shore duty and give yourself a few years to adjust to life with 3 kids, (which is a HUGE jump for most people) then you will be ready to make that little girl. Besides probably wanting to be done having babies, i doubt their is any pressing reason that you have to have another baby in the next year or so.

I had horrid GD when I had DD3 and we lived overseas far from family, friends, familiarity. DD1 was diagnosed with a mental illness and it took the 4 years overseas to stabilize her. DD2 had terrible ADHD but was too young for anyone to diagnose her. All 3 kids were HORRENDOUS sleepers, DH was deployed constantly, all my good friends on base were either having babies too or struggling with their husband's being gone. I did a few rounds of anti-depressants during those years.....it ends, I PROMISE!

I am not thrilled about having DD1 being 15yrs older than DC4 or that DD2 & DD3 are so much older than DC4, but at least I get to have a DC4! I always tell people I have 2 sets of kids. One only child, DD1, and my little girls. I will soon have 3 sets of kids after this one is born as DC4 will be an "only" child in some respects...BUT they get a lot more individual attention and I am not a worn out as I was when I had DD3!! I would love to have another after this one but considering it took me so long to get prego, I am pushing 40, and DH flips out every time I mention having a 5th kid...it probably isn't going to happen.

So unless I am missing something I see no reason you can't let the waters settle a little and then go for that girl!!!

Big hugs mama, I know how you feel and its going to be ok, I promise!

[Adia]

And FWIW, you have 3 LITTLE kids. LITTLE kids, especially a 1yr old are REALLY HARD. They are physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc EXHAUSTING!
With DH gone so much you probably think you are going to snap sometimes. Don't put pressure on yourself to add a 4th while the other 3 are so little and time consuming!!!
The most important thing being a Navy wife taught me is
1. If someone wants to help the nicest thing you can do is let them!
2. Be nicer to myself than I am to anyone else!!!!

[jmomof3girls]

Aww :sad: I'm wishing you lots of happiness!