OMG!!! HELP!!!!

[MamaLuv]

So I just had a D&C 7 weeks ago. Last week (a week ago today) I came on my cycle. I just stopped bleeding on Sunday. I started taking my Ovulation Tests today. I bought one of the super expensive, Clearblue Advanced digitals which is supposed to tell you your most fertile four days. I held my pee for 5 hours and took the first one this evening. (I also realized that you're really supposed to take them in the morning.) A blinking smiley face means you're highly fertile and a non blinking smiley face means peak fertility. Well I got a non blinking smiley face, meaning peak fertility just two days after my cycle! Is this accurate?! Should we BD tonight?? I don't want to do it too early and get a BFN. This seems extremely early to be O and I'm wondering if taking the test in the evening effected my results. Someone please let me know of this is the real thing so I can attack hubby when he gets here if it is. Thanks!!

[covered in blue]

So sorry about your little angel :(. When in doubt BD I reckon. You gotta be in to win. I got my DS2 from a BD on CD6! (we were trying to avoid). So yeah entirely possible :)

[MamaLuv]

Thanks covered! I was so confused that I held my pee, ran out and bought cheapies and tested a second time. This one came out negative. I'm definitely confused now! I didn't BD tonight and figured I'd test again first thing in the morning and again in the afternoon. I'm starting to think something is up with the Clearblue Advanced Digital...

[maidentomother]

I have Oed on CD5, like covered I was TTA but conceived. So, it is possible. However, I have seen a lot of women on fertility friend have strangd LH surges that don't lead to actual O, in the couple months afterca miscarriage. So I would personally back up with a CB digital, the single ones that give you just a smiley or an empty circle. Also, the CBAD often picks up the surge a few days early, so you may not actually O for 3-4 days,or even more. So I would BD now (what, CD3?) then again in 4 days (on CD7). Personally, I'd keep up the BDing every 4 days all cycle long bc of how unpredictable O after a MC can be.

Best of luck catching that egg!

[MamaLuv]

So I woke up this morning and took another O test. The first one in the pic is the one from last night and the second one is the one I took this morning. The one I took last night had a control line and super light, barely there test line (looks darker than it was in the pic because it sat over night). I took that as a negative. Then this morning I woke up and the test line and the control line, both light, were the same color. See below. Is the second one positive?? Given that CD Advanced Digitial (see original post) and the results of the second Answers Ovulation Test, I took that as a positive and we BD this morning but I'm super nervous that we BD too early. It's only CD8... (well CD9 if you count the little bit of spotting I had the night before I started)...Any thoughts?? I only get one attempt for swaying girl. Did I misinterpret and BD too early?? Atomic??
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[Boom]

1 attempt during fertile period. So you can still do every 4 days I think.....

[MamaLuv]

I'm now more confused than ever! I took the test again to be sure and this is a definite negative. I think I really BD way too early. My normal cycle (which may or may not have been affected by my D&C) is normally 28 days and I have an app on my phone that tells me when my ovulation date will be. It's usually pretty accurate too. The app says I'm not due to ovulate until November 5th which isn't until next week. These O tests are confusing me. So now I'm wondering should I just wait, keep doing the O tests, wait for a darker one, and BD again in the real fertile window since this one may have been a fake surge or something crazy. I'm wondering if I am still okay being that we BD probably outside of what my true fertile window actually is. Any feedback would be helpful. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels here!

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[mommymachine]

I am so sorry! I would be super confused as well! I don't know what to say:(

[Boom]

Hopefully the sperm will just be waiting there when the egg comes out :-)

[mommymachine]

I am so sorry! I would be super confused as well! I don't know what to say:(

[maidentomother]

Those Answer OPKs give false positives (for days and days on end) to most women and are very unreliable. Get some CB digital OPKs or First Response OPKs are okay too. If you don't conceive this cycle, I highly recommend Wondfo OPKs from amazon.com

As for BDing, as long as you aren't BDing unprotected without 4 days in between each time, there is no way you can BD too early. Timing doesn't sway so it doesn't matter when you BD; what matters is how often/much you BD in your fertile period (3 days before O + O day, so 4 days total). Thus why when OPKs don't work reliably and/or your having a wonky cycle, as those after a miscarriage often are, BD every 4 days is the best way to sway pink and get pregnant. Apps that tell you when to BD based on just your cycle length are not accurate for many women, even those with very regular cycles. My cycles are usually 28 days but I O anywhere from CD16 to CD20, and it's not at all predictable.

There is no way to predict when you will O, and as I've said, very often for at least a few months after a miscarriage your cycles will be strange - shorter, longer, Oing much earlier or later than usual, anything is possible. Thus why BDing every 4 days is best in your situation - bc no matter when you actually O, you will have just one attempt in your fertile period, which is the strongest pink BD tactic.

Since you BDed on CD8, wait until CD12 to BD again, then again on CDs 16, 20, and 24. I strongly recommend you BD on all those days exactly, regardless of what OPKs or your other fertile signs (CM, cervix) indicate, as those signs which aren't very reliable in terms of determining O under notmal circumstances anyway, are also likely to be atypical & misleading after a miscarriage. CD8 is a great day to start BDing on when using the every 4 days method, in fact it's what I'd recommend to most women, regardless of when they think they will O.

[atomic sagebrush]

Sorry I see I am late to answer this. I am personally not a fan of the Clearblues, I find them very difficult to use and cause nothing but trouble for people.

Anything is possible esp. the first few cycles after a loss. I would go ahead and attempt, then wait 4 full days before DTD again.

Maiden has already said everything else I would say! (thank you!)

[essnce629]

This is my first cycle after my loss as well and I've had 2 surges which I've NEVER had. My first batch of +opks were at my normal time on CD13 and 14. Then they went negative, but I had no temp rise. Several days later I started getting +opks again on CD19-22. My temp finally rose and I think I O'd 2 days ago on CD21. I agree with Atomic that anything can happen after a loss. Just keep dtd every 4 days. Are you taking your temp in addition to opks? Seeing a temp rise is the only way to confirm O.

[MamaLuv]

Thank you ladies very much!

@Atomic we can DTD every four days but doesn't that violate the 1 attempt rule to sway girl? Especially if we did it today and continue doing every four days even during the fertility phase. So you all suggests we do the 29th (which we did this morning), Nov. 2, Nov. 6, Nov. 10th or should we just DTD on Nov. 2, four days from now and let that be it which leaves one day in the fertile window? I guess I'm not understanding why we would do it again on the 6th or 10th when the 2nd would be in the fertile window before ovulation. Doing it on the 6th would leave me in the fertile window (which is the date that really violates the one attempt) and doing it on the 10th is after the fertile window so why would we DTD those two days? Wouldn't 4 days from the first time be enough (Nov 2)? Also, should I continue O testing? Or stick to the every 4 days no matter what the tests say? (FYI I did test this evening when I first got home and got another clear negative)

[Boom]

Fertile window is less than 4 days so DTD every 4 days means it will only happen once in fertile window.

[maidentomother]

MamaLuv, please read my post above! It explains why BD every 4 days, throughout your cycle, is best for you.

One attempt at positive OPK only works if you have normal cycles, and post mc cycles are often very weird.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you ladies very much!

@Atomic we can DTD every four days but doesn't that violate the 1 attempt rule to sway girl? Especially if we did it today and continue doing every four days even during the fertility phase. So you all suggests we do the 29th (which we did this morning), Nov. 2, Nov. 6, Nov. 10th or should we just DTD on Nov. 2, four days from now and let that be it which leaves one day in the fertile window? I guess I'm not understanding why we would do it again on the 6th or 10th when the 2nd would be in the fertile window before ovulation. Doing it on the 6th would leave me in the fertile window (which is the date that really violates the one attempt) and doing it on the 10th is after the fertile window so why would we DTD those two days? Wouldn't 4 days from the first time be enough (Nov 2)? Also, should I continue O testing? Or stick to the every 4 days no matter what the tests say? (FYI I did test this evening when I first got home and got another clear negative)

It does a teeny bit but for most people, by DTD every 4 days, you really DO only have one viable attempt in the fertile window. The fertile window is really a lot smaller than you think. Practically speaking, it doesn't last much more than 3 days and most of the time those every 4 days attempts end up being something like 6 DBO and then 2 DBO - 6 DBO all the sperm will have died off leaving you with one real attempt 2 DBO

I am not here to try and argue or convince you into doing it a certain way. All I can say is that if OPK aren't working, then the every 4 day method is next best thing.

The reason why you'd continue to have attempts after you think you ovulated is because IF you did ovulate, your egg will be dead or fertilized by then anyway and all the attempts in the world make no difference, and IF you didn't, then you're still covered.

[MamaLuv]

It does a teeny bit but for most people, by DTD every 4 days, you really DO only have one viable attempt in the fertile window. The fertile window is really a lot smaller than you think. Practically speaking, it doesn't last much more than 3 days and most of the time those every 4 days attempts end up being something like 6 DBO and then 2 DBO - 6 DBO all the sperm will have died off leaving you with one real attempt 2 DBO

I am not here to try and argue or convince you into doing it a certain way. All I can say is that if OPK aren't working, then the every 4 day method is next best thing.

The reason why you'd continue to have attempts after you think you ovulated is because IF you did ovulate, your egg will be dead or fertilized by then anyway and all the attempts in the world make no difference, and IF you didn't, then you're still covered.

Okay. I think I follow you all now. So do I keep up the every four days until I get my period? For me that would mean November 2nd, 6th, 10th, 14th, 18th, and my period is due on the 19th. Looking back on your comment Maiden, you mentioned up until CD24. So I can stop then? (That's Nov 14th). Thank you both. I appreciate your help.

[maidentomother]

I think you can stop on CD24. It can't hurt to BD right up until AF, but I doubt it's necessary. Keep track of your CM and I personally recommend OPKing once daily throughout your cycle at 3pm, just bc of how weird post-mc cycles can be. I'd also recommend temping, if you can do it in a relaxed manner. If your fertile signs and OPKs suggest you are no longer fertile after the the 10th, or earlier, I think last BD on CD24 will cover your bases plenty.

I think it's important to catch the first egg post mc if you can, so I am very glad you are on board with every 4 days, which will give the best chances of conception while still strongly swaying pink.

[MyByC]

I used ClearBlue for the last 8 months. In parallel with it, I went to Ultrasound every month. They have always matched for me. I have them from USA.
When I got the happy face, the folicle was already around 2 or 2,...
We all know that a folicle USUALLY brakes at 2-2.5 so normally when is at this size or close it will brake in 24/36 hours.
But that's my case.

[MamaLuv]

I think you can stop on CD24. It can't hurt to BD right up until AF, but I doubt it's necessary. Keep track of your CM and I personally recommend OPKing once daily throughout your cycle at 3pm, just bc of how weird post-mc cycles can be. I'd also recommend temping, if you can do it in a relaxed manner. If your fertile signs and OPKs suggest you are no longer fertile after the the 10th, or earlier, I think last BD on CD24 will cover your bases plenty.

I think it's important to catch the first egg post mc if you can, so I am very glad you are on board with every 4 days, which will give the best chances of conception while still strongly swaying pink.

Thanks Maiden. Can you tell me why I need to use the OPKs if I will only BD every 4 days? Suppose I were to see a positive one. Would it matter since I can't BD until it's been four days anyhow? Just wondering. That part is a bit confusing. Thank you again!!

[The Anchor]

If you are going the bd every 4 days route, you don't need to do OPKs. It is meant to take the "edge" of pink swayers, lol. If you want greater chance of conception (still a good sway, but not as good as bd every 4 days when it comes to success), bd every 4 days then once more at +OPK. GL Mama!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

If doing every 4 day method without the extra attempt, I would not use OPK. They may help do away with some confusion but they can also ADD confusion and stress that you are prob. better off without..

[MamaLuv]

I am so sorry! I would be super confused as well! I don't know what to say:(


If doing every 4 day method without the extra attempt, I would not use OPK. They may help do away with some confusion but they can also ADD confusion and stress that you are prob. better off without..

What is the extra attempt thing about? I will likely just stick to the every four days but I'm curious. Say I were to BD Nov 2 and I use the OPK Nov 3 and see a positive. That would mean I should BD that very next day even though we did it the day before? And say we did go ahead and BD do we start the 4 days back from the original day (Nov 2) or the day we got the OPK? (so 4 days away from Nov 3)? Side note: I did use the OPK and still negative. The next BD day is tomorrow, 4 days out from the first time.

[atomic sagebrush]

An extra attempt means slightly better odds of conception but lower odds of pink.

Yes, you have it right, the extra attempt at pos OPK just means toss in one more attempt at pos OPK whenever it comes.

[MamaLuv]

If we BD today and I got a definite positive OPK tomorrow, wouldn't I still be ok if we didn't BD again since the sperm lives up to 5 days?

[maidentomother]

Thanks Maiden. Can you tell me why I need to use the OPKs if I will only BD every 4 days? Suppose I were to see a positive one. Would it matter since I can't BD until it's been four days anyhow? Just wondering. That part is a bit confusing. Thank you again!!

You definitely don't NEED to use OPKs with BD every 4 days, and if you BD throughout your entire cycle, or if you're the anxious/obsessive type, I agree with the others that you shouldn't use them. I would personally choose to use them, just testing once a day all cycle long, bc I like to have as much info as possible, especially in the unusual cycles that often follow a miscarriage. That's all - just what I myself would do in your situation. It's not necessarily the best route and it does seem like it would be too much/obsessive in your case. Being relaxed when swaying pink is very important IMO and OPKs can be super stressful, so do what is easiest for you, I say. For me, not using OPKs and wondering would be more anxiety-inducing, but I am not like most people. I hope that all makes sense!

As for every 4 days + an extra attempt at positive OPK, I am personally not a fan of that approach at all amd would never recommend it. If for whatever reasons every 4 days isn't high enough odds of conception, then I would personally do every 3 days, and suggest that to those who are desperate to conceive quickly even if it means they aren't swaying pink as much as possible. With every 4 days + positive OPK, there is too great a chance of having 2 attempts close together which I believe, and the statistics show, sway significantly more blue.

[MamaLuv]

Thanks Maiden! I think you're right! That extra attempt has me a little nervous so I've opted not to do it. What's the BFP rate of people doing the every 4 day method? Are you all seeing that most people are getting pregnant?? (I thought about doing every 3 days but thought it was too late since we've BD the 29th, and 2nd already. I was afraid switching to 3 days now might throw something off. I really want to be prego this time since the D&C works in my favor but not if it means jeopardizing pink by using not so favorable methods.)

[atomic sagebrush]

If we BD today and I got a definite positive OPK tomorrow, wouldn't I still be ok if we didn't BD again since the sperm lives up to 5 days?

Under absolutely ideal circumstances, supposedly sperm can possibly live up to 5 days. This is all very theoretical and it's really not been well demonstrated, and it's certainly NOT a great way to get pg, that's for sure.

But if you had BD on Sun, got pos on Mon, then ovulate on Tues, yes, I'd prob. stick with one attempt on Sun and not add attempts. Totally up to you tho.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks Maiden! I think you're right! That extra attempt has me a little nervous so I've opted not to do it. What's the BFP rate of people doing the every 4 day method? Are you all seeing that most people are getting pregnant?? (I thought about doing every 3 days but thought it was too late since we've BD the 29th, and 2nd already. I was afraid switching to 3 days now might throw something off. I really want to be prego this time since the D&C works in my favor but not if it means jeopardizing pink by using not so favorable methods.)

I don't track pregnancy rates (except in the back of my mind, unscientifically) and it wouldn't matter if I did because people do such a wide array of things to sway that it wouldn't tell us much reliable info anyway.

I do believe based on my mental tracking that we are seeing much better odds of conception with every 4 day method. I think sometimes people just miss the mark with their OPK and hem and haw about when to attempt and end up missing it.

[True Blue]

I have conceived at least 3 times from BD 3 days before O - I was trying shettles timing for O day and of course O'd late, as you do when you stress about timing :D
It is very possible to conceive with BD once every 4 days and with only 1 attempt.

[MamaLuv]

Now to add to the chaos...Me and hubby BD last night (on our 4 day schedule) and I went to the bathroom and saw blood today. A nice amount. Bright red mixed with some dark. What the heck is this about? My first period after D&C ended last week so why am I bleeding??? We used plenty of lube and he was SUPER gentle. I'm so confused. The doctor told me don't worry and if I keep bleeding call him or if I bleed again after sex give him a call. Have you ladies ever heard of this?? I'm so over these weird things happening to my body.

[MamaLuv]

21983

So I tested once a day so I can take a better account of when I O. I tested yesterday morning using the CB and the cheapie and got two negatives. I meant to use the cheapie again at 3:00 but forgot. This morning I tested as soon as I woke up and got two consistent positives. We've been BD every 4 days. The 4th day to BD isn't until tomorrow though. I won't miss the egg if we wait until tomorrow will I? I run the risk of not being able to BD until after work tomorrow on top of it unless we get up very early. I should still wait until tomorrow to make it to the forth day and not late tonight correct?

[atomic sagebrush]

Now to add to the chaos...Me and hubby BD last night (on our 4 day schedule) and I went to the bathroom and saw blood today. A nice amount. Bright red mixed with some dark. What the heck is this about? My first period after D&C ended last week so why am I bleeding??? We used plenty of lube and he was SUPER gentle. I'm so confused. The doctor told me don't worry and if I keep bleeding call him or if I bleed again after sex give him a call. Have you ladies ever heard of this?? I'm so over these weird things happening to my body.

Yes, it happens all the time both with and without a D and C. I would take your temp for hte next several days just to be sure that it's just bleeding from cervix or lining and not infection or retained tissue.

[atomic sagebrush]

21983

So I tested once a day so I can take a better account of when I O. I tested yesterday morning using the CB and the cheapie and got two negatives. I meant to use the cheapie again at 3:00 but forgot. This morning I tested as soon as I woke up and got two consistent positives. We've been BD every 4 days. The 4th day to BD isn't until tomorrow though. I won't miss the egg if we wait until tomorrow will I? I run the risk of not being able to BD until after work tomorrow on top of it unless we get up very early. I should still wait until tomorrow to make it to the forth day and not late tonight correct?

I think we talked about it yesterday but this is one of those things that can go either way and there's no right or wrong, here.

May be slightly beter odds of pink to wait, slightly better odds of conception if you DTD.

[MamaLuv]

Hi Atomic! Thanks! Hubby and I waited until today since it was day 4 today. I used an OPK and it still gave me a positive result this morning as it did yesterday. We BD very early this morning before heading off to work so now I'm hanging out in the two week wait!