need advice on trying again after miscarriage

[eleena2014]

i had missed miscarriage when we went for the 12 weeks scan in oct and they couldnt find a heartbeat,said baby had stopped growing at about 8 weeks.
i miscarriaged naturally at 14 weeks but had to have a scrape.
i was advised to take a pregnancy test 3 weeks after which i did and it was negative.
my first period was roughly 4 weeks later bled sat -tuesday not that heavy and painful then had slight red/brown bleeding thurs-sat
Anyway i feel like im ready to try again,but im in two minds what to do,since my bfp in august i stopped doing the le diet along with everything else we were doing for swaying,since the miscarriage i didnt eat much for the first 2 weeks as i went off my food,when my appetite picked up i havent been doing any diet,i havent really been snacking inbetween meals,had a few bowls of cereal in the last few weeks,also had meat,usually pork (but not loads of it) and chicken.been having a 13-14 hour fast between tea and breakfast without even realising.i havent put any weight on at all since before getting pregnant.
now my question is,if my opk's come up positive this week,should we try this week as ive heard the first cycles after miscarriage sway pink,or leave it till nxt month.ideally time wise if we did get pregnant first time,this month would be good as due date would be september.
i have decided if we do try this month or next month and dont get caught i will wait till next summer due to the fact we cant afford to have another baby oct-jan time as all our familys birthdays are around about that time
The only reason im thinking of trying this first or second cycle is because people have said it sways girl.are there any stats regarding this?
thanks for any help

[bluebonnet22]

Eleena - there are stats for getting pregnant immediately following a m/c (ie no AF in between) and it's 80%+ pink right now. It is believed the first cycle after your first AF still sways pink (this is when I personally conceived but no idea on gender yet). I don't believe there are stats on the first cycle after the first AF, however, your m/c was fairly late in the first trimester so it really should still sway even after getting AF.

For me we were going to take a break after October, so the cycle I conceived was kind of a one last shot attempt. After having a m/c I was very ready to move on and despite being off the diet during my short pregnancy, I still felt ok moving forward. In your shoes I would attempt but obviously it's not black or white whether more time on the diet is better or the effects of the m/c will sway pink more. Good luck!!!

[QueenB3blue]

I am hoping to get a positive opk later this week also;)

I have heard atomic say the second cycle after mc sways a little also. Just try your best to keep to LE. Definitely stick to one attempt:)

Good luck!

[eleena2014]

is there any point me sticking to diet? if my cycles are back on track i should get a +opk this thursday!!!
i didnt prepare for trying again so soon as i didnt feel ready at all after the miscarriage,i couldnt even bare thinking about trying again

[eleena2014]

also wondering if this is safe after having a scrape so i have had the doctor to give me a call back later today

[QueenB3blue]

also wondering if this is safe after having a scrape so i have had the doctor to give me a call back later today

I can almost guarantee your dr will say to wait to TTC. Dr's are usually overly cautious. No offense to any dr:)

Emotionally if you think you are not ready I wouldn't. Take a break and give yourself time to heal. Then sway when you are ready.

If you do make an attempt I would still stick to LE. Especially in the 2ww.

[eleena2014]

i did ask when i went for a prescription and he said whenever your ready but wait till you have had a period,and i asked him if this is different if youve had a scrape and he said he didnt think so? ive read on lots of sites where it is advised to wait 2 cycles after a scrape? im scared my lining will be too weak or something

[tarasue]

I would ask your dr. If they think you need to wait after a scrape. I had a dnc this past Friday(I was about 8 weeks, baby only at 6). I am waiting until after my first Af. Like you, I want to get pregnant jan/feb because I would like to avoid another dec-march birthday.

We are also ttc a girl. I am not worrying as much about the sway this time. A healthy baby is more important at this point to me than the gender. Don't get me wrong a little girl would be ideal:). During the 6 weeks I knew I was pregnant, I kept up the 60-70 min of cardio, so that's a no brainer to continue for me. I'm not going to stress about how much salt, protein, ect. I am going to work on no breakfast or snacks and staying around 1500-1800 cal. This time of year it is not easy to do!

I gained 7 lbs in my few weeks of pregnancy, so hopefully it loose a few of those before next month, but I'm not going to stress too much over it if it doesn't.

I wish you best of luck! If in your mind your ready to try again I say go for it!! For me personally I feel getting pregnant again will help with the empty feeling I have from my loss, but everyone is different. Do what's right for you, but I would consult with the dr to make sure they give you the ok:)

[QueenB3blue]

I agree with tarasue. When I was TTC before my loss I didn't seem as rushed to get pg. Now I am very anxious to be pregnant again. Seems like that will be the best thing to fill the emptiness.

Here's the thing though. The feelings you are having about something going wrong because of your lining are not going to go away. If it is not your lining you are worried about it will be something else. I am not sure if being pregnant after a mc will ever be worry free:(

Sounds like you have had your first af. And your dr has already given you the green light. If af has come an you've had days after with no bleeding that should be a little reassuring that your lining is building up.

Hoping you can find peace in your decision whether to try or not.

[eleena2014]

everything was just so perfect when i was pregnant,the timing,my sway,the due date,it just doesnt seem fair that this was takeen away from us.Will wait and see what the doctor says,if she says it is ok this month,im hoping i havent missed my ovulation this month as i have had some pains today,not sure if ovulation cramps.my dh is bringing me some opk's today

[bluebonnet22]

Eleena - I can relate to feeling depressed about how much better the loss pregnant was. My sway was much much stronger before my loss and I was due in April - I've always wanted a spring baby and was gutted to lose that. I never wanted a summer baby but here I am! Anyways, it will get better when you get pregnant again but I understand completely how hard it is to feel like everything was so perfect before and have it taken away!

[eleena2014]

wondered if atomic could give me some advice x

[maidentomother]

So sorry about your MMC & needing a scrape, too. I absolutely think you should TTC this cycle and the next since I believe miscarriage sways pink quite strongly. I would resume full on LE (and exercise if that's part of your sway), as I definitely think that it will improve your odds of pink. If you keep eating normally, I suspect it starts to sway blue and counteracts the pink effect of miscarriage. You want your body to keep thinking times are hard. I really hope you get lucky this cycle!

[eleena2014]

Doctor said it's Ok to try this cycle.I will have to see if I get a +opk and decide then

[eleena2014]

bump

[eleena2014]

I think I may have missed it I don't know. Did a opk yesterday which was a v slight faint line and today I'm pretty sure was even lighter. My period after miscarriage was due on a wed and I usually ovulate exactly 2 weeks After, but I didn't get af till Saturday.so I could get a positive this Thursday or Friday?

[eleena2014]

Should we try tonight anyway or wait till the weekend as I may get a +opk then?

[QueenB3blue]

I think I would keep testing for a +opk. I am really nerves to miss my o also:). You could always bd every 4 days if that would be less stressful. Both are pink friendly.
Good Luck!

[maidentomother]

I really agree with Queen, especially bc post-MC cycles are often wacky and OPKs often don't work as usual. BD every 4 days is still very pink friendly and gives you the best chance of catching the egg this cycle. Good luck, hope it happens soon for you!

[eleena2014]

bd last night and got a darker opk today :happy:but still not completely positive,should the nxt bd be on monday now? would it matter if we did it sat/sun? or is it better every 4 days?

[eleena2014]

what is it that it does to the sperm if you have more than one attempt?

[tarasue]

I could be way off, but I think by having just one attempt you limit number of the fast swimming male sperm that die off quicker and give the female sperm that are slower but live longer a chance to get to the egg. That's my understanding, I've been wrong before so would also like to know.

We ttc in October and my cycle was getting really long and I ran out on opk's. We kept up the bd every three-four days even though I wasn't doing opk's. We ended up catching an egg early November, like cd 34. I had three or four almost positive opk's in the month before we conceived. It was like my body was gearing up to ovulate than stopped. By the time I actually ovulated I was out of tests. We ended up loosing the baby last week, but will try again in the next month or so.

Give it a go! I just wouldn't bd any more often than every three days, four would be better though.

[maidentomother]

If you BDed on Friday, you shouldn't BD again until Tuesday, or at the earliest Monday night - what time Friday did you BD? From the sounds of it your attempt is perfectly timed, should end up being 1-2, maybe at most 3 days before O. So I'd wait a full 4 days to keep your sway strong. DO NOT BD again this weekend!

It's not about what multiple attempts close together does to sperm, but the fact that multiple attempts = more sperm inside you, and that sways blue for reasons we don't fully undeserved.

There is NO difference in speed, endurance, longevity, hardiness etc between X snd Y sperm - that idea was completely made up by Shettles based on him looking at sperm under a microscope (which does NOT enable visual distinction) and simply guessing that the faster ones were Y and the slower X. Thus why he developed his ridiculous timing theory. But numerous studies have long since disproven him. None of his ideas were actually evidence based, truly shoddy science that unfortunately still lingers as popular myths.

[eleena2014]

We bd Thursday night,day of my birthday! Gonna keep testing with opks and have another attempt Monday. I just hope it doesn't sway boy with it being second cycle

[maidentomother]

Ah okay, time difference then. Monday night sounds perfect. Happy birthday! :)

[eleena2014]

Help please.did this opk today.don't think it's completely positive. Do u think we should still have an attempt Monday or change to Sunday?

[eleena2014]

Can't get the picture to upload

[eleena2014]

Which can't I upload from my phone?

[eleena2014]

22662

[maidentomother]

That looks positive or very close! I'd wait until Monday, maybe compromise and BD in the am?

[QueenB3blue]

Very close:) I would wait and see what Sundays opk's bring, then decide about your next attempt.
Am bd on Monday does sound like a great compromise. But an am bd would never happen at my house;)

[bunnywabbit]

I honestly would bd now. The swimmers will hang around for a couple of days. Hoping this is
your month x

[eleena2014]

Had another attempt this morning. So we had an attempt thursday,dh released Friday on his own and we had another attempt today.hope this doesn't sway blue. I am in a hurry to try so much because this will be 2nd cycle after miscarriage and we are both recovering from being ill

[eleena2014]

Just thought I'd add my opk was negative today so my positive would have been yesterday's.does this mean the first batch on Thursday may have caught the egg or would it be today's batch?

[maidentomother]

Hard to say. More likely Thursday's, IF you O today which I hope you do.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, we've gotten good results and while a small sample size, I think it's strong enough to indicate that the benefits of the miscarriage may outweigh time off diet, but I don't know that for sure.

My guide to swaying after a miscarriage is here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/29504-guide-swaying-after-miscarriage.html

[atomic sagebrush]

I think I may have missed it I don't know. Did a opk yesterday which was a v slight faint line and today I'm pretty sure was even lighter. My period after miscarriage was due on a wed and I usually ovulate exactly 2 weeks After, but I didn't get af till Saturday.so I could get a positive this Thursday or Friday?

Your cycle after a loss may not be the same as it normally is.

[eleena2014]

Just read the swaying after miscarriage and on not taking any supplements other than folic acid,is it too late to start now?

[tarasue]

Thanks atomic. Le diet has kind of been thrown out the window for me right now..... Hoping to get back on track after Christmas.

[atomic sagebrush]

Just read the swaying after miscarriage and on not taking any supplements other than folic acid,is it too late to start now?

No real benefits but you may get pg and then moving on to pregnancy