View Full Version : I should not think this way :(
Cauliflower
December 29th, 2014, 09:34 AM
...noticing what people think and say about how my baby looks like :sad:
My journey began two years ago when I felt that my family is not complete without another baby, and how perfect it could be to have a baby girl. I found this wonderful site and and most wonderful, supporting person I have known, Atomic!
Swayed hard, and with my personalized plan. I got pregnant with a baby girl, still cant believe that she is for real! She IS beautiful, so curious and sweet, always smiling, giggling. 8 months old now.
I am grateful for having her.
It is just that she has darker complexion than even my sons! I am fair, my husband a bit darker. She is as dark has him or maybe a little darker. Just writing this makes me feel angry, if I am judging her by her complexion, What do I expect from others!
She is my baby and I should love her as she is! Still some days I wake up thinking, is this really happening or was it just a dream? I am already thinking about summer, all the cute sleeveless dresses, shorts...revealing too much :(
I know I should be sooo grateful for having a healthy, baby girl....
Cauliflower
December 29th, 2014, 09:44 AM
Forgot to mention my indian/ asian background...
XXforhubby
December 29th, 2014, 10:21 AM
I want you to know that your baby girl is PERFECT just the way she is. No one in the world is like her- she is special in every way! You are just describing the way she looks- the facts. I know you and your husband don't care about how dark her complexion is, but other people can be superficial.
Other people are the problem- not your gorgeous baby girl. Don't let them make you think something is wrong with her, because she doesn't fit their paradigm. They need to get over it! She needs you to be her advocate and voice. Tell them she is perfect the way she is and has no flaws. If they persist I would tell them their negativity is unwelcome.
I had to say this to people, because DS1 has a large forehead and was bald until 2. People always felt they should comment on this. Seriously! I always said he is perfect the way he is, and most of the time people went on to say something positive. However, there are some people that are just plain rude and kept on going. I would then tell them their negativity is unwelcome and would walk away.
Your DG IS perfect and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!!
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Adia
December 29th, 2014, 11:15 AM
XX is much nicer than me. I would give people a puzzled look and say, what's wrong with her skin tone, she looks like Daddy...isn't that a good thing?
Years of nasty comments about 3 girls have made me ruthless to those who can't keep their mouth shut. If they can't keep their comments to themselves, I can't keep my sharp tongue from lashing at them.
Cauliflower
December 29th, 2014, 03:00 PM
Thank you sweet ladies💗
Although I know all this in my heart, it is good to have someone tell you this.
The thing that shocked me most was, as me and my hubby both are well educated and thus our friends are also well educated, still they cant make themselves say she is cute, it is more like, who does she resemble? She is not like you..
My mother still believes she will get fairer, she cant understand why her grandchild could be so "dark",
So she says to mee, look her face skin color is much better now, it has god lighter! Ugh!!!
mommymachine
December 29th, 2014, 03:12 PM
How painful that must be for you to hear. Just remember, you must be an advocate for your daughter. You do not want her viewing herself "less than" just because of her skin colour. My smallest son has problems in social situations and trouble with impulse control. People can be so cruel to him, but I will not and do not allow it. What they see, is just the shell of who my son really is, and your daughters skin colour is just her shell. Nothing more. Always make sure that she knows that you will help her to shine so bright, that all of those people who are "bothered" by her skin colour will be blinded to it by her light within!
atomic sagebrush
December 29th, 2014, 03:27 PM
My youngest son is also very dark-skinned and people would make a lot of remarks to me about putting sunscreen on him and that I shouldn't let him get a suntan (he was just naturally dark). I know it's not the same thing really but it was amazing to me that strangers would say things like that!!
I think she is absolutely beautiful and in many parts of the world people want to have darker skin tone!! I know people who spend a fortune trying to get what your daughter has naturally!!! Huge (((hugs)))!!
Cauliflower
December 29th, 2014, 05:16 PM
Thank you all:bighug:
Thank you Atomic. Hugs! And look at Susannah, when did she turn into a toddler, they grow fast. She is adorable:)
I wanted to upload a pic of her, but it was only possible if I changed my avatar. So here is my little angel! She is precious...all of her:awe::flowerz:
And your right, I will be her voice and her advocate! From now on I will tell them myself that I think she is just perfect!
True Blue
December 29th, 2014, 06:00 PM
Your DD is adorable and beautiful :) she looks like a little princess :)
foxymrsg
December 29th, 2014, 06:35 PM
Your dd is soooo gorgeous! People are stupid with their hurtful comments. They just can't be happy for others I think! If they're not bashing us for only having one gender it's picking holes in our children! Makes me throughly ashamed of the human race sometimes! Give your gorgeous girl a massive kiss and cuddle she's beautiful! Xx
Sarah4girl
December 29th, 2014, 08:44 PM
Your husband must be as proud as punch his little girl looks like him? I live in a country where a lot of westerners adopt from around the local regions (south east Asia) so it is very common here to see a family out with a a variety of children (Malaysian, Thai Vietnamese, Indonesian), I look at those mums and dads with admiration. My son goes to a school with kids from over 69 different countries.... I think these people who make these comments about your daughter are perhaps just a bit ignorant? (For want of a better word).
Nahri
December 30th, 2014, 04:00 AM
Im so sorry you have to deal with all those hurtful comments.. Her skin looks better... I would have flat out come uncorked on that woman. Not that skin tone has any importance but it may change or not over time, genetics all the way around have a lot to do with it. Someone in either you or DH's line could have been darker and thats the gene she got! She is absolutely adorable in that picture :) People who feel the need to nitpick at something like this would be complaining no matter what color her skin was. If she came out glow in the dark white as a sheet like me they would have had something to say. If she came out a barely discernible shade lighter/darker than either of you there would have been someone having something to say. They have to find something to be ignorant about or their head will explode. I think my mother has that same problem with a lot of issues LOL. My DS looks like all of his cousins and one of my brothers more than he looks like either of us. One of those cousins looks like a spitting image of a great uncle I mean EXACT. Genetics are funny like that. Maybe she takes after aunt sally on dads side and that would be a good way to shut down those comments. Dont let them get to you and I hope she never has to hear that negativity from them EVER. This is why little girls develop complexes on how they must look in order to be accepted. She is beautiful and healthy how she is and thats all she needs to know :)
Junie
December 30th, 2014, 04:15 AM
I'm mixed (half white/black American) and married to a light skinned German. With both of our boys we got so many comments about how light they are, my younger son's blue gray eyes, etc. Honestly I refuse to let it bother me. I know while good intentioned it comes from years of cultural conditioning which says lighter is better. On the other hand I always get compliments on my skin color and some people spend lots of time and money trying to achieve the same look. I try and focus on imparting the view that all skin colors, hair types, eye colors, etc can be beautiful and that my children are gorgeous just as they are. I think thankfully that as we continue to become a more global society people continue to expand their views of what is beautiful and no longer perceive just one skin tone or eye color as beautiful. Obviously in some parts of the world this change will probably be much longer in coming but I think it will happen everywhere. Also your daughter looks absolutely beautiful to me!!
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Kittybear
December 30th, 2014, 04:44 AM
She is beautiful Hun. Congratulations! :)
Next time a woman says anything about her complexion maybe you should ask her which relation she got her fat a$$ from ;) hehehe xx
Girlfriend
December 30th, 2014, 05:37 AM
Omg! I used to tan and pay for solariums when I was younger so I can have olive skin like that. And when I second son was born and he had olive skin I was so excited for him. I think people always want what they can't have. So don't worry about it because she's gorgeous !
Cauliflower
December 30th, 2014, 09:44 AM
Thank you for all the nice words, it warms my heart!
Genetics is strange. My grandmother was very dark, rest of the lot have fair color a few shades pluss/minus. So I can imagine where the gene came from!
One of my friends got her DD just one month before me, and although they both are average looking and have dusky skin tone, their daughter is so beautiful, big eyes and fair skin.
All of my DDs aunts, except my youngest sister, are fair, all her cousins (girls) are fair and have big eyes, seriously, like disney princesses!
I have never thought of how"blessed" I have been, being so light colored, although I get many comments. It hit me really how important it is in our culture. I mean you can be only average looking, but if you are white as snow you are considered beautiful.
Recently saw an ad from India, it was a jewellery ad, where they used a divorced, dark skin colored woman gettibg married. It got a lot of publicity for not being stereotypical and breaking with the rules of white is beautiful.
Fortunately we live in a country where most people are white, so hopefully white will no more be special for the coming generations....
Cauliflower
December 30th, 2014, 09:46 AM
She is beautiful Hun. Congratulations! :)
Next time a woman says anything about her complexion maybe you should ask her which relation she got her fat a$$ from ;) hehehe xx
Kittybear, congrats on your boy! Brothers are such blessings for little boys, mine are so close to one another, I could not imagine it another way. Hopefully you will eventually get your DD, you have to believe....
Nahri
December 30th, 2014, 12:45 PM
See cauliflower you can say she takes after grams :) The ad from India you mentioned reminded me of another one. Aishwarya Rai poses for a lot of ads in her own country and in the US. Her skin tone is beautiful without adding all the makeup to lighten her up but yet you look at her in most of her ads and she looks white. They do a lot of the same to actors in bollywood movies if they are in staring roles! It looks like they were dunked in a vat of flour to get that much desired lighter tone. Like girlfriend said people always want what they dont have and think the other side of the fence is greener. Darker skin tones wanting to be lighter and the pasty complected are hitting the tanning booths to try to be darker. Its our job to continue teaching the future generations that these things dont matter they just make us special. My husband can tan but me being a redhead I just fry in the sun til I look like a lobster LOL. I got picked on growing up for being TOO white... Everyone always has something to say!
atomic sagebrush
December 30th, 2014, 01:01 PM
She is absolutely darling!!! :heart:
1+2+3boys
December 30th, 2014, 09:01 PM
Wow, your daughter is stunning! That's all that needs to be said :)
Jany1025
January 1st, 2015, 04:53 PM
I have been thinking of this post for days! I know you said you are Indian/Asian can I ask what your husband is?
The reason I keep thinking of this thread because I can totally relate...
Here is my story,
I am of Hispanic descent, though I look Asian (Filipino to be exact), DH is Irish American. I have tan skin, brown hair and eyes. DH has brown hair and green eyes.
DS#1 Blond hair and Blue eyes and Fair skin
DS#2 Brown hair and Hazel/ Light Brown eyes, light tan skin
HT DD Brown hair and brown eyes..
While I am still thanking the universe for DD, it was a little shocking. Why should it be because I am tan with dark features and she is a TOTAL MINI ME, BUT everyone leading up to the birth kept saying how my daughter will be blond and blue eyes and look more Irish than anything and they would say it over and over almost like this would be ideal!!
Once she was born, I remember that first week we went to my in laws and my SIL was looking at her and said Wow she is a lot darker than the boys were! HUH?? WTF is that??? This is coming from a blond blue eyed woman who had a tan dark hair dark eyed daughter as she married a Guatemalen immigrant!! Seriously!!
A few weeks later my mom came over with her friend, my mothers friend is holding the baby and says to the baby "what happened? you were supposed to have GREEN eyes!! What an ass!
Two months later my mom is looking at her and says lets see her what color her eyes will be and says to me SORRY they will brown! WTF?? SORRY? like she has a birth defect??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I can't take ignorant people!!
I remember growing up all of my "white" friends would rub tons and tons of baby oil on and tan all day long, I had friends with orange hands as they would douse themselves with self tanning lotion lol!!
Our girls are BEAUTIFUL they are Exotic beauties with a natural tan!! :HH:
gizmo77
January 1st, 2015, 05:28 PM
I am Indian. 1st generation in America. I'm darker than my fairer handsome brothers. My mom would try to convince me to lighten my face skin so ppl would want to marry me.
My aunts would tell me to stay out of the sun and criticize me after a fun summer (bc I'd get so tan).
On Indian marriage websites some of the criteria u can choose is skin color: fair, wheatish, dark.
I don't know why in Asian cultures white is better, well western cultures too.
Despite all that it didn't affect THAT part of my self image (I was always more concerned with weight).
But when I married my olive toned (lighter than me) Italian, and my kids came out all mixed, I would notice how ppl who cared about that gave more attention to the lighter child. It's funny that DD2 has the lightest hair and skin (even lighter than DH) and ignorant ppl always say she looks JUST like her daddy. Which is SO not true!!!! All her features are MINE just a lighter "shell" as u guys say.
The quality ppl in our lives tell me she looks like me.
My family is VERY much like urs, ignorant about what's impt in life. If I ever heard a comment like that, I would just flat out say I am not ashamed of my daughter. Her life is precious and it's her health and her happiness that matters. Desi ppl don't believe in happiness. They only think in terms of status and money. So u may not be able to change them but u can repeat urself over and over to shut them down until at least they keep their mouths shut.
Cauliflower
January 1st, 2015, 06:15 PM
See cauliflower you can say she takes after grams :) The ad from India you mentioned reminded me of another one. Aishwarya Rai poses for a lot of ads in her own country and in the US. Her skin tone is beautiful without adding all the makeup to lighten her up but yet you look at her in most of her ads and she looks white. They do a lot of the same to actors in bollywood movies if they are in staring roles! It looks like they were dunked in a vat of flour to get that much desired lighter tone. Like girlfriend said people always want what they dont have and think the other side of the fence is greener. Darker skin tones wanting to be lighter and the pasty complected are hitting the tanning booths to try to be darker. Its our job to continue teaching the future generations that these things dont matter they just make us special. My husband can tan but me being a redhead I just fry in the sun til I look like a lobster LOL. I got picked on growing up for being TOO white... Everyone always has something to say!
Nahri I was so certain you were Indian, up until I read the last sentence, lol! You know so much about Bollywood :)
You are right, we need to teach the next generation not to judge people by thir appearebce or color, starting with myself. After I started this thread and after reading all the responses, I have noticed a change in myself. I am looking at my baby for whi she is not what color she is! And she is beautiful, so thank you all! Hugs!
Cauliflower
January 1st, 2015, 06:28 PM
I have been thinking of this post for days! I know you said you are Indian/Asian can I ask what your husband is?
The reason I keep thinking of this thread because I can totally relate...
Here is my story,
I am of Hispanic descent, though I look Asian (Filipino to be exact), DH is Irish American. I have tan skin, brown hair and eyes. DH has brown hair and green eyes.
DS#1 Blond hair and Blue eyes and Fair skin
DS#2 Brown hair and Hazel/ Light Brown eyes, light tan skin
HT DD Brown hair and brown eyes..
Our girls are BEAUTIFUL they are Exotic beauties with a natural tan!! :HH:
Hello dear,
My husband and I are both asian/indian. From same country. He is a bit darker than me, but lighter When he was baby.
I am sorry that you have to hear that. The only thing they should be telling you is how lucky you are to get your DD! But unfortunately, some people think it is their job to point out what is NOT perfect in other ppls lives. I am sure your DD is beautiful as she is. We have to see the person behind thes้ "shells".
After all we wished for a healthy DD and that is what we got! I am sure once we get to know the persons inside, we will love everything about them :) even their color
If it is your DDs picture, for me she is just perfect!
And I can totally relate to you abt the expectations. And it might be even tougher for you because of the options! I mean for me it only meant one shade darker.
I am not letting these ignorant people make me think that there is something wrong with her.
Yes, our DDs have perfect olive skin many could only dream of :)))
Cauliflower
January 1st, 2015, 06:37 PM
I am Indian. 1st generation in America. I'm darker than my fairer handsome brothers. My mom would try to convince me to lighten my face skin so ppl would want to marry me.
My aunts would tell me to stay out of the sun and criticize me after a fun summer (bc I'd get so tan).
On Indian marriage websites some of the criteria u can choose is skin color: fair, wheatish, dark.
I don't know why in Asian cultures white is better, well western cultures too.
Despite all that it didn't affect THAT part of my self image (I was always more concerned with weight).
But when I married my olive toned (lighter than me) Italian, and my kids came out all mixed, I would notice how ppl who cared about that gave more attention to the lighter child. It's funny that DD2 has the lightest hair and skin (even lighter than DH) and ignorant ppl always say she looks JUST like her daddy. Which is SO not true!!!! All her features are MINE just a lighter "shell" as u guys say.
The quality ppl in our lives tell me she looks like me.
My family is VERY much like urs, ignorant about what's impt in life. If I ever heard a comment like that, I would just flat out say I am not ashamed of my daughter. Her life is precious and it's her health and her happiness that matters. Desi ppl don't believe in happiness. They only think in terms of status and money. So u may not be able to change them but u can repeat urself over and over to shut them down until at least they keep their mouths shut.
You are so right about desi people judging each other only by status and money! Nice to meet you :) someone who shares the same experience.
My DD has my festures, but yes bcz my special feature is light colored skin, no one says she looks like me! How annoying!
maidentomother
January 1st, 2015, 07:38 PM
Jany you are both gorgeous!
Cauliflower, your daughter is precious. I want to tell you about one of my close friends from high school - whom I still keep in touch with, bc like me she moved to Europe after growing up mostly in the US. Her father is a very tall, lean/athletic blond haired, blue eyed German and her mother is Mexican but with very pale skin, curly black hair, brown eyes and a short, round/plump body. My friend has MUCH darker skin than either parent, so much so she doesn't look remotely related if you look just at her skin colour, which is the same shade brown as your daughter's. Even her brother is pale skinned, he looks exactly like a male version of their mother both body & face. My friend has brown eyes and medium-dark, straight brown hair but she's tall like her father and has his very regular, chiseled facial features.
She was and is one of the most beautiful girls/women I have EVER seen - model beautiful, but too naturally curvy (in a good way) to be a runway model. Always she's had her pick of men and she is very successful in all her endeavors, both bc she is smart and so charismatic. I even had a little crush on her in high school - I could just stare at her beauty endlessly - and I'm heterosexual, she's the only girl I have ever found so enchanting and appealing, she just has this magic about her that always makes her the center of all attention. At 32 she is still incredible looking, and also happy, living a great life. I wish the same for your daughter!
Btw, I myself am quite pale and have always been attracted to pale men, I do even have a paleness obsession - but still, my friend is more beautiful to me than nearly all pale people on the planet.
Dana-Alicia
January 8th, 2015, 12:58 PM
I read this earlier today and was thinking about it and felt sad because appearently in this world the lighter you are, the better. And you were brought up in that world, thinking you'd rather have a light skinned child, because it would be easier for them to cope. I can somewhat understand the impact of this on your life, just somewhat ever so slightly. As a white female I haven't had the challenges many of my coloured friends have dealt with, but I've seen it when I was dating a beautiful coloured man years ago. Racism comes in so many ways, it was horrible. I read not so long ago in a few hundred years everyone will have about the same skin, hair and eyecolour, as dark colours are stronger than light colours, so there is hope for all of us that one day we will all be the same :D
As to your personal struggle: when I was pregnant with my daughter, I always pictured her like me: brown curly hair and green eyes. Sadly I've been deprived of watching her grow up so I will never know, but when my sons were born I was very surprised. They were blonde! My first son being an exact copy of my husband (no really, we totally pressed CTRL+C and CTRL+V and my son came rolling out like a clone) and my second son is me, except with blonde hair. They're obviously brothers, yet so different at the same time. And so I found myself having to create a new idea of what my daughter would have looked like. Probably not dark haired, but blonde. Maybe with curls like my eldest or without them like my youngest. Probably green, grey or blue eyes. And maybe that's why I yearn for a daughter so much. I want that question answered. And if she comes out completely different, Let's say with red hair and grey eyes, I would have to adjust to the idea I've had of her. And maybe worry if people would judge her because of her red hair. And I guess that's slightly similar of what you're experiencing right now. Am I making any sense? Maybe we should let go of our dreams we have of our children, as they will always find a way to surprise us and they have the right to be who ever they want to be. Not just by how they look, act or dress, but with every life decision they make. And as a parent we will not always be happy with that. Not saying that you would, but I know I would, I'm kind of a controll-freak. Not really sure how to protect our hearts from that, from dreaming about what our children will be like in a certain way. It would make GD and life in general so much easier.
Oh and by the way, had I made babies with my ex, they would have been gorgeous. They would have had his skin and hair and my eyes. Lol. Now I've done it again haha. But my ex was not meant to be, my husband is an absolute winner whom I made gorgeous bubbas with :hug2: and so did you, just gorgeous and perfect I bet!
Cauliflower
January 9th, 2015, 05:33 PM
Thank you Dana-Alicia for writing to me. I wish I could express myself as good as you just did!
I think I am still in denial, or maybe surprised, not adjusted to the idea that she would be so dark. Am I ever going to get used to it? Am I just imagining that this is the first thing everyone noticed?
I met up with a friend the other day and her daughter looks very much like DD, except that she is very fair. So I said, they are so similar except for the skincolor, she looked surprised and said, I think they are the same colour too!
On facebook I have gone through pictures of every friend of mine and their kids to see what colour the kids had inherited. I found fair parent with darker kid and dark parents with fair-colored kids...
it is okay, I will get used to it! I just need to remind myself of how lucky I am! And she os perfect for me and my husband. We dont care, really....we only see our beloved daughter!
Jany1025
January 9th, 2015, 05:51 PM
Thank you Dana-Alicia for writing to me. I wish I could express myself as good as you just did!
I think I am still in denial, or maybe surprised, not adjusted to the idea that she would be so dark. Am I ever going to get used to it? Am I just imagining that this is the first thing everyone noticed?
I met up with a friend the other day and her daughter looks very much like DD, except that she is very fair. So I said, they are so similar except for the skincolor, she looked surprised and said, I think they are the same colour too!
On facebook I have gone through pictures of every friend of mine and their kids to see what colour the kids had inherited. I found fair parent with darker kid and dark parents with fair-colored kids...
it is okay, I will get used to it! I just need to remind myself of how lucky I am! And she os perfect for me and my husband. We dont care, really....we only see our beloved daughter!
I saw you had posted an Avatar pic with you and her next to each other and HONESTLY I didn't notice any difference in fact I LOVED her complexion, So I posted of a pic of DD and myself but I took it down when I saw you took yours off! LOL!!
I remembered after posting that one of my best friends went through this after her second child a daughter was born, my friend is white and her DH is light skinned black, I called her after her birth and one of the first words to me was "she is so much darker than my son" and she wasn't joking either very solemn almost saddened..and I thought HUH?? What is wrong with her?? But I get it, sometimes things don't come as we expect as she was a little shocked.. 7 years later I see no difference in color and she is absolutely gorgeous!
Enjoy your beautiful girl!
Cauliflower
January 11th, 2015, 06:38 AM
I saw you had posted an Avatar pic with you and her next to each other and HONESTLY I didn't notice any difference in fact I LOVED her complexion, So I posted of a pic of DD and myself but I took it down when I saw you took yours off! LOL!!
I remembered after posting that one of my best friends went through this after her second child a daughter was born, my friend is white and her DH is light skinned black, I called her after her birth and one of the first words to me was "she is so much darker than my son" and she wasn't joking either very solemn almost saddened..and I thought HUH?? What is wrong with her?? But I get it, sometimes things don't come as we expect as she was a little shocked.. 7 years later I see no difference in color and she is absolutely gorgeous!
Enjoy your beautiful girl!
Jany, lolz, I thought I took it down at once, but you saw it :) I wish I had seen yours, now thats unfair, you have to post it again ;) I also noticed very little difference on that pic, so I did not want to seen ridicolous posting it...lol pluss, I did not want to seem obsessed! But I am glad I started this thread:)
Jany1025
January 11th, 2015, 03:57 PM
Jany, lolz, I thought I took it down at once, but you saw it :) I wish I had seen yours, now thats unfair, you have to post it again ;) I also noticed very little difference on that pic, so I did not want to seen ridicolous posting it...lol pluss, I did not want to seem obsessed! But I am glad I started this thread:)
Ha! You're right its only FAIR I repost pics! Let me find pics of DS#1 as a baby also so you can see the contrast/difference between he and I!
Cauliflower
January 11th, 2015, 05:51 PM
Ha! You're right its only FAIR I repost pics! Let me find pics of DS#1 as a baby also so you can see the contrast/difference between he and I!
Thank you! I have no objections posting pics but I have recommended this site to many, and I would like to stay anonymous bcz of all the TTC sensitive talk I have been doing on this site ;) lol
Jany1025
January 11th, 2015, 09:43 PM
Here we are, see how all 3 children look different! :)
First here is DH and I so you can see what we look like:
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Here is DS#1, to be 32 again! LOL
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He is my child with the lightest features:
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Here is DS#2:
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Here is DD:
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Our Golden Complexion :)
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Summerstown
January 12th, 2015, 03:54 AM
Theyre gorgeous! You have a beautiful family! Xx
maidentomother
January 12th, 2015, 07:27 AM
Jany, your DD looks so much like you, and you are beautiful. She will be too. It's fascinating seeing the difference between your 3 kids, it's like with my friend I spoke about.
Cauliflower
January 12th, 2015, 02:12 PM
:hug2: you are gorgeous!!! And so is your DD! Olive skincolor is beautiful, and the boys are gorgeous too! Isnt it nice to have a spectrum of colours instead of one? I can see why you did not expect it, hon :) but you shoukd know that you are beautiful and so is she!
Here is the famous pic ;)
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maidentomother
January 12th, 2015, 02:34 PM
Can't see your first 3 pics. :(
But yay, I see the last 2. Your boys look so much alike, they could almost be twins. So cute!
The Anchor
January 12th, 2015, 03:31 PM
I could just eat her up! Gorgeous!
Adia
January 12th, 2015, 03:42 PM
My goodness, she is gorgeous! She will be a knock out her whole life!
And I love the dress! As lame as I sound I will miss buying beautiful little girl clothes, so much to choose from!!
Jany1025
January 12th, 2015, 04:06 PM
I couldn't open the first link either! :( Your children are GORGEOUS! I honestly see no difference in complexion at all!
She has beautiful eyes, does she have blush on? I love her rosy cheeks!! You are blessed!
Cauliflower
January 12th, 2015, 05:50 PM
Thanku Adia, Anchor and Jany. No it is all natural, no make up :)
Yes I love buying clothes for her! There is so much to choose between, it is so much fun:)
I am grateful every day!
maidentomother
January 13th, 2015, 09:51 AM
What a beautiful dress on a beautiful girl, Cauliflower! She really has the exact skin colour as my gorgeous friend. Just think how incredible she will look in white, something we pale people can never achieve.
atomic sagebrush
January 13th, 2015, 02:50 PM
I'm dying of cuteness here!!! So so so cute!!
True Blue
January 13th, 2015, 03:15 PM
Jany wow you are a stunner!! Your family is beautiful and your little DD is gorgeous :)
Cauliflower your children are adorable and your DD is beautiful :)
You ladies have beautiful children, stunning daughters - really beautiful !!
Cauliflower
January 13th, 2015, 03:44 PM
True Blue, Maidenmother and Atomic, big hug!!!:hug2:
I think all the good and sweet ladies on this planet are on this site! My luck I found it :running:
Jany1025
January 14th, 2015, 08:07 AM
Jany wow you are a stunner!! Your family is beautiful and your little DD is gorgeous :)
Cauliflower your children are adorable and your DD is beautiful :)
You ladies have beautiful children, stunning daughters - really beautiful !!
Wow thank you True! You are my new BFF!!! LOL!!
Boom
January 14th, 2015, 09:48 AM
These are my boys - 2 dads, 4 really different kids - variety is totally the spice of life :-)
2313323133
Boom
January 14th, 2015, 09:48 AM
Don't know why it posted twice!
Jany1025
January 14th, 2015, 12:59 PM
BOOM your boys are so gorgeous and happy! Love it! I see they have a natural tan also hee! I can't wait to see your daughter!!
Cauliflower
January 14th, 2015, 03:33 PM
Lovely boys BOOM! They look so happy :)
Hope you get your DD soon.
Big hug!
covered in blue
January 14th, 2015, 08:52 PM
Too many gorgeous babies on this thread now :).
True Blue
January 15th, 2015, 05:47 AM
Loving the photos :)
Boom your boys look so much fun!! They are going to be very handsome men ;) look out ladies!!
pink_bean
January 15th, 2015, 04:05 PM
First of all, your daughter is beautiful! All the babies/kids on this thread are just breathtaking.
I will be following this post as I can definitely relate to the comments about skin color as my children are very light for their ethnic background. I have gotten both positive and negative comments and they all bother me, to be honest. "imagine your girl!" is one I hear often because my sons are blonde and blue eyed and therefore "exotic" for husband's culture specifically but neither of us look this way. But my dream baby girl actually looks more like the beautiful little girls posted here! Although if I had another little blondie, I would be just as happy.
I agree that people often just aren't happy with themselves and therefore have no filter along with cultural conditioning that lighter is better (it's not!) but I think things slowly are changing. Hopefully
Cauliflower
January 15th, 2015, 04:49 PM
Pink bean, thank you for nice words!
There is just this big how and why not leaving my head, and there is absolutely no answer to it! if my dark friends can have light kids than why cant we have kids darker than ourselves?
Wedding next week! A part of me not looking forward to go there :( i hope they see my daighter and not just her skincolor.
And I hope that things are changing too....
Cauliflower
May 29th, 2017, 04:29 AM
36365
My Selina 3 years :)
ELP
May 29th, 2017, 06:52 AM
She is goorgeous Cauliflower :bigsmile:
atomic sagebrush
May 29th, 2017, 11:33 AM
Oh gosh she's just lovely! Was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were getting on!! So very happy for you. :)
Cauliflower
May 30th, 2017, 03:27 AM
Thank you :flowerz:
Cant believe I swayed to get her :) Happy I got to know you ladies.
Crossing my fingers for lots of successfull sways!!!
xxxx
Hopefullmummy
September 14th, 2017, 04:21 AM
It's years of cultural brainwashing that has caused people especially in those parts of the world to believe that dark is less or undesirable. It's horrendous and sad. And your daughter is beautiful. As a dark skinned person in a very white country I've never felt any less or undesirable. It's up to you to make sure your daughter will be sure of herself and won't think that her looks define who she is or what her worth is. These people who make this comments won't magically disappear as she gets older So instilling self love in her is crucial. Good luck.
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