SIL has just had the first girl in the family

[Claire33]

My SIL just gave birth to the first girl in the family, after 5 boys total (3 are mine). You can imagine, everyone is over the moon and not afraid to say it. The Facebook comments about FINALLY a girl, and how thrilled people are about this, it really hurts. She even looks like my sons, and I think "that is what my daughter would look like". I'm really happy to have a niece, but would be happier if I also could have a daughter. Now I'm going to go HT, but I'm so scared to do IVF, hormones, failed cycles, non-transfers, or just no pregnancy.

I just wish I wasn't in this situation. Also having 4 kids, it wasn't part of my plan, I'm exhausted as it is with 3!

[atomic sagebrush]

I am so sorry.

In my family, back in 2009 we had 6 boys and one girl. (4 were mine, one my sister's, one my cousin. The girl is my brother's) Fast forward to 2015 and we now have 6 boys and 5 girls (Mine, my sister's, my brother's girl, and then two of my cousins had/are having girls!) My point is, it can turn around so quickly that you wouldn't even believe it!

FWIW - your daughter will be the cutest anyway...mine is LOL.

I know how hard it is, though. I think, if only it would have gone the way I wanted it to, I would have so much more time and energy to enjoy it. :heart:

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm sorry. That is tough. I hope you get your girl and add another to the mix!

[True Blue]

I'm sorry, that is hard :(
I truly hope your little bundle of pink is next :XX:

[maidentomother]

Ohhh that must be so frustrating and painful, I'm sorry! I hope you are a OHW when you go HT and have a beautiful, easy little girl whom everyone dotes on, even more than they do her cousin. ;)

[1+2+3boys]

Hi, sorry to hear, that must be hard. I feel the same re how many kids I wanted. I don't want to be in this position either. I'd rather not have to have more because I am so tired and busy and crave some me time badly so another kid would make that so much harder. But I can not let go of not having a girl. It must be hard seeing what your girl might look like. I am adopted so wont have that problem. We want to do HT too for that garuntee but it seems so crap that I have to go through all that when for others it just happens. Also the age gap thing will suck a bit. I am tempted to sway to avoid that big age gap since we can't afford HT for at least a year or two but I just don't want to up my work load unless it will 100% be a girl. I hope HT works for you so you can enjoy your niece without the sorrow lurking behind

[covered in blue]

Oh I'm going to be in the same boat in a couple of weeks I think. On DH's side SIL is team green. She has 1 boy, we have 3, and other BIL has 2 boys. Someone's gonna pop out that girl and it's going to be a HUGE deal and I'm dreading it! (even though I know it would be awesome if we do get our girl at some stage so she has a girl cousin.). I can just imagine how much it hurts. Try not to read all those comments xx

I'm so happy you have HT plans! FXed it's an easy road for you and you get to bring your little girl home soon.

[Pebbles&BamBam]

I totally get how that hurts especially if it seems like she got her DD so easily! I am waiting to hear SIL babies gender and just dreading to here if she got DG and how often I will have to hear about it!

[grace03]

Totally hearing you!
We have 4 beautiful boys 11, 8, 5 and 13 months. I am one of 5 kids 3 girls 2 boys, my husband is one of 3 2 boys and a girl. My brother had a baby a month after my last one and I rejoiced when he was a boy since newborn hormones would have not helped hearing first girl. Fast forward a year and on our 4 th boy's b day his girl cousin was born, dh's brothers kid. this was dec 2nd last year. I have been seeing my psch constantly and suffering big time:( my sister is due in may and wasn't finding out. I have said ill throw a baby shower etc. she left first baby till 37 even though with same guy for 11 years. Now she found out its a girl ! how am I supposed to plan a baby girl baby shower when I cant get through the day :(

sorry to hijack thread with my miserableness I haven't written on here for a year but now even though I had my tubes tied during my c section im back on here researching HT just can't see future without 'her'

I hope you have support and can cope as best you can xxx
my psych says you don't have to like the situation but you can cope with it... im still not sure!

xxxx

[Pebbles&BamBam]

I have to host SIL shower and dreading if she gets her desired gender because then I will have to watch her get the praise and shower I always wanted! At least you know now, I'm still waiting and it's so hard, I'd rather know now so I can prep myself!

[WannaGirl]

I know Claire, bloody Facebook, I announced my 3rd pregnancy and there were plenty of "I hope its pink" and honestly I did hope also, but it wasnt :( Im going 4 kids too, never in my wildest dreams growing up did I think about 4 - if my 2nd had been a girl I would have stopped for sure, so exhausting and the house is never tidy!
God throwing those baby showers would be horrible, I have been to a very pink baby shower and it was very sad for me but I got to go to baby stores and buy pink stuff so it was ok in the end. The Dad wanted a boy incidently, I so wish gender didnt matter to me, but it does, of all my close friends they all have a daughter, they have even said how great it is between us we have 4 boys and 4 girls - yeah thats awesome considering 3 of those boys are mine and they all got girls first for their kids :(.

[Girlfriend]

My SIL just gave birth to a baby girl 3mth ago, so I totally know how u feel. Going to the hospital the next day and already seeing her dressed in pink made me feel so sad. She didn't even know the gender and the same day her sister rushed to buy her pink clothes.
Anyway, I'm trying really hard to be happy for her and the only thing that helps me is knowing that I'm starting this HR journey soon and hopefully have my girl one day. But if it doesn't work I will probably be a total mess :-(

[Claire33]

Thanks everyone for the support! It's good to know I'm not the only one in this situation, shared pain is half the pain (or something like that!). Luckily I don't have to throw any baby showers, we don't have baby showers where I come from. Big hug to you Grace, it sounds like you are really struggling. Can you afford HT?

Life definitely isn't fair. But luckily most days I just really enjoy my three sons and don't think too much about this stupid GD. It's hard when this keeps coming up though, you keep getting confronted with it, I can't just be done with it... :(

[grace03]

Thanks everyone for the support! It's good to know I'm not the only one in this situation, shared pain is half the pain (or something like that!). Luckily I don't have to throw any baby showers, we don't have baby showers where I come from. Big hug to you Grace, it sounds like you are really struggling. Can you afford HT?

Life definitely isn't fair. But luckily most days I just really enjoy my three sons and don't think too much about this stupid GD. It's hard when this keeps coming up though, you keep getting confronted with it, I can't just be done with it... :(

thanks for your reply , I am going to use the house deposit for HT I think, only thing is have to travel from Aus to USA so that's the part I hate. xxxx

[Petal]

Hugs Claire, you're definitely not alone that's for sure. Im sure you will get your daughter with HT!! Ive got 3 boys and am about to have my DD finally after a HT rollercoaster, the cost was a huge factor but we got there, have a lot of debt to pay back but its worth it.
Im not sure where you live but the US isn't the only option, if you're in the UK I suggest you look into the CZ clinic that a lot of ladies on here have cycled with and they have a brilliant success rate! and are sooo cheap in comparison to America.

Don't give up on your dreams, they definitely CAN come true :-)) x x

[Claire33]

Grace - I wish you all the best of luck with the HT!

Petal, that is exactly where I will be going :D

My only factor here is age, as I'm in my late 30's and some women in my family have gone through menopause at my age ... I haven't checked my AMH yet, so I'm dreading that result!

[1+2+3boys]

I plan to go to Cz too in about a year hopefully. We are so lucky HT exists. We can't really afford it but it is important to me and if it works I will never think about the money spent on it. She will be worth every dollar. I live in New Zealand and my partner is German. His parents live in Berlin so we will stay with them and Cz is just a train ride away! Plus DPs adult son can watch our boys who they know well since he has come to New Zealand twice, once for 6 months

[Justine1986]

I know how you feel, I told you in a pm already.

It's so frustrating...
My oldest three childeren were born in my first marriage, their dad left us when our third son was only 2 months old.
And last year my ex and his new girlfriend got a daughter. My heart was broken, also because she's a look a like of
my 4 year old son.. It's a copy! And then I also wonder, would my girl look like that? It hurts so much...
Me and my new husband got a son, I can imagine how my ex and his girl friend found this very "funny", my ex knew about my dream, having a daughter!

My SIL is also pregnant, she has already 2 boys and now everybody's saying "hope this time it's a girl"... Well I don't!
I can't imagine what I would feel.. And she already told us, she won't say the gender until day of birth.. So I have to wait till august to know!

[Justine1986]

Oh, and when I was "younger" I always said I wanted to have 4 children, 4 girls!
I think it was better not to think/say that and this is my punishment now ;-).

After my last son I said to my husband that we're complete now, but I just can't give
it a place.. So I'm excited that he understands me and that he wants to go for HT too..

[1+2+3boys]

That must be rough Justine. I'm glad you are looking into PGD

[Nahri]

I feel you there. DS was due around the same time as another family members girl. We really wanted a girl the first time around I was contented to have one child and it be a girl and done. We heard the same comments. FINALLY! This baby is going to be the perfect one! (That one REALLY chapped my ass) Finally a new baby in the family to spoil! Oh we heard it all. Its hard to block it out of your mind when you are trying to have a stress free TTC and pregnancy. We are getting our DD this time and now we hear "oh you cant be sure until the baby is born" "there's no way they can tell that early (15 weeks). My husbands family are boy producers (cousins, aunts,uncles etc) boys upon boys upon boys. Except for 2 cousins and both of them have popped out 2 girls. So we are getting the true rarity of his family we have a DS and one DD on the way which just adds more to their disbelief. I hope you get your desired gender, and your family becomes more sensitive to your desires.

[jen75]

My SIL, told us she was pregnant the day my ds 4 was born and i was finding things really hard. i did not go to the baby shower last week, why put yourself through that, just say you can't do it. I know i would not have been able to bear it. I bumped into her at the hospital with my DS this week, just by random chance and every time she said she, it was like a dagger through my heart. try to protect yourself and think of you first. I know us moms find that hard, but you need to think of yourself every now and then so you can be a better mum to your boys and plan calmly for your DD. x love and hugs to you. xx

[lemonade]

I know how you must feel and I sympathize. So far on my side of the family it's just my two boys. My only sister, who's engaged, probably won't have kids for a couple years... but I can only imagine if she had the first girl. I'm already bracing myself for that very real possibility.... while I might very well have a third boy. For now I'm cool but as soon as my sister announces her wedding date I know I'm going to experience a wave of dread. GD is horrible.

Then again, I had the first boy on DH's side of the family after a string of all girls, so no doubt there was secret GD directed at me as well... I'll never know for sure though.

[luckyfourleafclover]

My SIL just gave birth to the first girl in the family, after 5 boys total (3 are mine). You can imagine, everyone is over the moon and not afraid to say it. The Facebook comments about FINALLY a girl, and how thrilled people are about this, it really hurts. She even looks like my sons, and I think "that is what my daughter would look like". I'm really happy to have a niece, but would be happier if I also could have a daughter. Now I'm going to go HT, but I'm so scared to do IVF, hormones, failed cycles, non-transfers, or just no pregnancy.

I just wish I wasn't in this situation. Also having 4 kids, it wasn't part of my plan, I'm exhausted as it is with 3!

Ouch! I know exactly how you feel as my sister had a DD last Aug. My boys absolutely adore her and there are so many pictures of my boys with her that are painful for me to look at because that would be my perfect family picture…

You just have to stay strong, and fake a smile. I cannot lie to you, for me it hasn't got easier and I still find family occasions hard when everyone is fussing over her and she is wearing pretty dresses and has her hair done in cute bunches!

Hopefully we will both get our HT DD's very soon.

[Pebbles&BamBam]

I am so sorry.

In my family, back in 2009 we had 6 boys and one girl. (4 were mine, one my sister's, one my cousin. The girl is my brother's) Fast forward to 2015 and we now have 6 boys and 5 girls (Mine, my sister's, my brother's girl, and then two of my cousins had/are having girls!) My point is, it can turn around so quickly that you wouldn't even believe it!

FWIW - your daughter will be the cutest anyway...mine is LOL.

I know how hard it is, though. I think, if only it would have gone the way I wanted it to, I would have so much more time and energy to enjoy it. :heart:

My family now has 8 boys and 2 girls...hoping it will turn as well. The 2nd girl just came 2 weeks ago and I'm ecstatic to have another girl in the family! SIL finds out her babies gender in a few weeks, she swears boy, but I think i would relate to her more if she had a DD

[Claire33]

Thanks so much for your support ladies! Here is an update from me. I was fully prepared to go HT in June, but ended up with a whoops pregnancy instead. I had a blood test done at 7 weeks that said girl. I still don't believe it, I can't be properly glad, but it's a step in the right direction. I won't get an U/S for another 10 weeks to see the gender, so I really can't get my hopes up. Cross fingers for me please!

[maidentomother]

Wow claire, exciting! What blood test? I'm not familiar with any that test accurately before 7w/I.e. aren't scams.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh i didn't know it was that early when I responded to your other post. That does seem a bit early but still FX!

[Claire33]

Yes, it is early, I was 7 weeks 5 days. The clinic does the test from 8 weeks, but research shows results already from 5-6 weeks. It is not 100%, there is a margin of error of 1-5 %. Here is the link to the clinic (Barcelona) and some sites with research about the technique. It guess it's about as reliable as an U/S in week 16. That is why I'm not getting my hopes up at the moment. In the US there is something called the new Jack and Jill test (done in a lab), I wonder if that is a similar test to this one? You have to have your blood drawn at a lab, not one of those blood on paper at home things.

Boy or girl? · Medical and Healthcare Services · Clínica Corachan (http://www.corachan.com/en/page.asp?id=258)

Research:

http://applications.emro.who.int/imemrf/Acta_Med_Iran/Acta_Med_Iran_2013_51_4_209_214.pdf

Successful Diagnosis of Fetal Gender Using Conventional PCR Analysis of Maternal Serum (http://www.clinchem.org/content/47/1/41.long)

Noninvasive fetal sex determination in maternal plasma: a prospective feasibility study : Genetics in Medicine : Nature Publishing Group (http://www.nature.com/gim/journal/v14/n1/full/gim20118a.html)

[foxymrsg]

Congratulations! Truly hope this is your precious DD

[maidentomother]

The j&j test is definitely a scam. The Barcelona clinic could be the real deal. How much blood did they draw from you?

[Claire33]

The J&J test has two versions, the one taken in a lab which is legit and the one taken at home (drops on a paper) which is a scam. Have you taken that one? The Barcelona test seems legit, but I cannot be 100% sure until I get an ultrasound at week 20.

[atomic sagebrush]

Some of the ones with the blood on paper are legit. They're less reliable and can get cross contaminated from DNA in the environment and so aren't the best tests for that purpose.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, it is early, I was 7 weeks 5 days. The clinic does the test from 8 weeks, but research shows results already from 5-6 weeks. It is not 100%, there is a margin of error of 1-5 %. Here is the link to the clinic (Barcelona) and some sites with research about the technique. It guess it's about as reliable as an U/S in week 16. That is why I'm not counting my horses at the moment. In the US there is something called the new Jack and Jill test, I wonder if that is a similar test to this one? You have to have your blood drawn at a lab, not one of those blood on paper at home things.

Boy or girl? · Medical and Healthcare Services · Clínica Corachan (http://www.corachan.com/en/page.asp?id=258)

Research:

http://applications.emro.who.int/imemrf/Acta_Med_Iran/Acta_Med_Iran_2013_51_4_209_214.pdf

Successful Diagnosis of Fetal Gender Using Conventional PCR Analysis of Maternal Serum (http://www.clinchem.org/content/47/1/41.long)

Noninvasive fetal sex determination in maternal plasma: a prospective feasibility study : Genetics in Medicine : Nature Publishing Group (http://www.nature.com/gim/journal/v14/n1/full/gim20118a.html)

Thanks for sharing those! I had thought before that the blood tests may be reliable a bit sooner than they've been doing them. :) FXFXFX!

[Chessika]

:fx:

[maidentomother]

There is no way there is enough fetal DNA in a 7w dried blood sample on paper.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, I will clarify. The IN LAB blood tests I have wondered if they may be reliable earlier. The on paper lab results are less reliable no matter how you slice it but they were shown in some studies to be at least somewhat helpful, unlike the urine and saliva ones which are not at all reliable.

[maudster]

I am so excited for you!!! FINGERS CROSSED!!

[maidentomother]

Yep, I agree the lab ones can be done earlier. The less the woman weighs and the more blood they take, the earlier testing will yield results.

[smarston3]

The harmony test can be done as early as 5 weeks. But, only for gender. Chromosome testing isn't done until 10 weeks (I work at my OB/GYN)


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[Magical22]

The harmony test can be done as early as 5 weeks. But, only for gender. Chromosome testing isn't done until 10 weeks (I work at my OB/GYN)


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Is that in the USA? I'm in Australia I don't think we have anything like that, wonder if bloods can be sent over


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[smarston3]

Yes, US. Sorry [emoji20]


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[Magical22]

We have the nipt testing so gender and chromosome at 10 weeks it gets sent over to the U.S. and you get the results around 12 weeks.
Atomic do you know if Australia offers anything else sooner?


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[Dana-Alicia]

Oh I can imagine your pain so much! My sil is hoping to get pregnant soon and she is convinced she will have a girl. I'm almost forcing DH to make a girl with me now haha so we can be there first. So childish, I know... I just can't stand the comments that I know will come if she does have a girl. This GD is so hard sometimes. I hope you'll have your gorgeous little girl soon and she will be your little princess!

[Mumof3girls]

Is that in the USA? I'm in Australia I don't think we have anything like that, wonder if bloods can be sent over


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I had the Harmony test but I had to be at least 10 weeks & it gets sent to US. I'm in Melbourne.

[Magical22]

I had the Harmony test but I had to be at least 10 weeks & it gets sent to US. I'm in Melbourne.

Is that blood or urine? I know there is one now that 9 weeks (urine) and you get it back in 5-7 days


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[Magical22]

Oh I can imagine your pain so much! My sil is hoping to get pregnant soon and she is convinced she will have a girl. I'm almost forcing DH to make a girl with me now haha so we can be there first. So childish, I know... I just can't stand the comments that I know will come if she does have a girl. This GD is so hard sometimes. I hope you'll have your gorgeous little girl soon and she will be your little princess!

Understand those feelings!!


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[maidentomother]

Wow 5w? I wonder if I can get that here.

[Mumof3girls]

Is that blood or urine? I know there is one now that 9 weeks (urine) and you get it back in 5-7 days


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It's a blood test.

[Claire33]

Dana-Alicia, will you be doing HT?

[aussiesmiler]

It's a blood test.

Hi Mumof3girls, is this the VCGS test you have done at the Children's hospital? Was it reliable for you? I read gender is 99%?

[Mumof3girls]

Hi Mumof3girls, is this the VCGS test you have done at the Children's hospital? Was it reliable for you? I read gender is 99%?

I did it at Royal Womens hospital at the imaging place on the 2nd floor. They told me it was the harmony test & I think the paper work did say 99% but they did tell me I was having a boy. I have my 20 week scan on Thur so we will see. Good Luck I hope you are having a girl.

[aussiesmiler]

I did it at Royal Womens hospital at the imaging place on the 2nd floor. They told me it was the harmony test & I think the paper work did say 99% but they did tell me I was having a boy. I have my 20 week scan on Thur so we will see. Good Luck I hope you are having a girl.

That's great we can have the test done here now, it's about time! How exciting you get to see your precious little man again on Thursday :-)) especially now it really has been double confirmed :-))

I think it's a boy because so far all symptoms are the same apart from my insane sense of smell....it's crazy. I am so annoyed with myself because I threw out ALL of my baby boy clothing including quite a few outfits never even worn because I was adamant I really wasn't having another boy even tho I thought about swaying I would never have had the courage to do it.

[lemonade]

The harmony test can be done as early as 5 weeks. But, only for gender. Chromosome testing isn't done until 10 weeks (I work at my OB/GYN)


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Is this actually true? I've never heard 5 weeks.

[smarston3]

Is this actually true? I've never heard 5 weeks.

Yes, straight from my OB's mouth., they don't do chromosome until 10 weeks


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[Magical22]

What places do this though?


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[Claire33]

Update: My bloodtest (done at 7 weeks) was correct. I had a 13 week U/S done today that confirms that the baby is indeed a girl.

[maidentomother]

Fabulous! :)

[True Blue]

Cngratulations :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Update: My bloodtest (done at 7 weeks) was correct. I had a 13 week U/S done today that confirms that the baby is indeed a girl.

I am so happy for you Claire!!! :)