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pink_bean
January 26th, 2015, 07:32 PM
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nuthinbutpink
January 26th, 2015, 08:44 PM
Guys do well with facts and if you have the money, the guarantee of gender with HT may help change his mind!
odd
January 26th, 2015, 08:49 PM
My husband wanted 0 and I wanted 4 when we got together. He saw how
Much I wanted a child so changed his mind and agreed for just 1.. But then seeing the sibling relationship, came around to having #2.. But he'd have never gone for HT and he will never ever agree for # 3
Mumof3girls
January 26th, 2015, 08:59 PM
My DH only wanted 2 & it took me 5yrs to talk him into no 3 which we swayed & got DD3 then I talked him into HT for no 4 which was not gaureentee it would work but it was gaureenteed that I would put back a xy.
1+2+3boys
January 27th, 2015, 12:05 AM
Maybe eventually he will agree if he can see how much having a daughter means to you. My DP said no at first but could see how sad I was about it, I didn't push him, just gradually said things like If only we could have a garentee and he got curious and eventually agreed. He says one day we will be rich, lol.
Magical22
January 27th, 2015, 06:43 AM
I'm facing this right now in fact I came in to the forum just now to get it off my chest and talk to you ladies about it. We have 2 boys my hubby is very happy with this and doesn't want anymore. His reasoning is all logical and makes complete sense, money still being able to live the lives we want, travel etc. But emotional I want a daughter, I love my two boys my dream would be 2 boys and a girl in the nicest way I don't want 3 boys. I keep thinking of what people think, all those people with their rude comments about all boys dealing with that, seeing all my nieces I don't think I could handle it. Plus then we wouldn't be able to travel as much. I know that if I ended up having a third boy I would adore him like my other two.
Hubby will reluctantly let me try for a third but I feel very alone in my decision to have a third, and the GD that might come with having a third boy. I feel so lost on making this decision 😔
Would love to do HT but it's such a huge expense for a small guarantee, we would have to save for 2 years to get the money together. I would feel guilty spending that much money on something I want.
DH and I have a very strong relationship but I always worry the stress that another kid will add to our relationship. Especially if we have another boy and I'm a bit depressed.
So is hubby saying no more, would he come around if you wanted a third?
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Magical22
January 27th, 2015, 04:43 PM
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This sounds like I wrote it myself! We would have to be in a really good place for him to even possibly come around to a third and we are not there yet. I don't even know why I even want more kids, as it's so hard right now! Oh yeah, I desperately want a daughter and only a daughter. Of course I would love another boy if I had one but that to me just means more GD, judgement, comments and all the things I'm already very negatively affected by.
But HT is so far out of our reach and also, as you say, it's a lot of money for something that's really not a guarantee for everybody. I love reading successful sway stories but we know they don't work for everyone, either.[/QUOTE]
My husband asked just the other day if we where guaranteed with our next baby that it would be 100% a boy would I go again and I said no I would prefer just 2 boys. If it was 100% a girl I would def go again.
While having my two boys I also had 2 miscarriages and about 5 people have told me oh you probably can't carry girls. REALLY that makes me upset what if they are right and is there anyway to find that out!? Also the more time that passes the more I don't want to go back to that whole newborn stage. Then someone will have a girl and I go back right back to the start. I keep thinking I'll regret it if I don't try.
I constantly am thinking about what to do, it's nice to know I'm not alone, what county are you from? I'm in Australia QLD.
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gizmo77
January 27th, 2015, 05:55 PM
DH only wanted 2 and I wanted 4. he assumed we could compromise on 3. I never compromised. he gave me a hard time right before 3 so as to prevent me from asking for 4. but I made him sway and secretly hoped for a 3rd girl so that I could try once more for my 4th (boy). (tho I would have LOVED 2girls and 2 boys). he changed his diet slightly to accommodate my sway and he was shocked that it didn't work. long story short, I made a deal with him. he wanted to move away from our families for a great job. I asked if I would be able to have a 4th? he said possibly., I would make him watch shows on PGD (60 minutes). or send articles (that were in favor of it). I pretty much whispered in his ear for a couple yrs. at the same time I told him I would consider stopping at 3. (and I did consider). to show that I respected his choice too. but then I couldn't take it anymore and told him I really feel empty like something is missing and wanted a 4th but not naturally bc we only create girls. we are just coming out of debt so I asked him to loan me the money and I would work later and pay him off. he laughed at that idea but I tried to make deals about taking over his chores around the house, etc. after a couple big fights he agreed, worked out the finances and then said wait 2 yrs. I said that's too late., so then I whined again and he said a yr and a half. so here I am in pretesting at 37.5. but he is not letting me take over his chores but I am happy and so he is happy. I make him happy, I make sure he is #1, king, whatever he wants emotionally to show I appreciate his sacrifice. bc he wants things too. and this will set us back another yr or more....
iluvmy4sons
January 28th, 2015, 01:53 AM
With my 4th son we were supposed to be done. My 1st son is not his. He did come around to having another child. I did have my little girl.
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ocean
January 28th, 2015, 09:43 PM
I blogged on this question, specific to HT
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/blogs/ocean/2437-evolution-dhs-feelings-about-ht-part-1.html
My DH only wanted two kids. After 1 kid, he said 'actually maybe I only want 1' (at which point I freaked!)
We then decided on 2. So after having my 2nd, I was convincing him both to have a 3rd and go HT. Which he was initially vehemently against. I went slowly and it took 6 months. I do not think he would've gone for a 3rd if we were swaying - the risk he'd have lost his wife to GDe again would've been too great.
Mum4life
February 1st, 2015, 08:31 PM
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This sounds like I wrote it myself! We would have to be in a really good place for him to even possibly come around to a third and we are not there yet. I don't even know why I even want more kids, as it's so hard right now! Oh yeah, I desperately want a daughter and only a daughter. Of course I would love another boy if I had one but that to me just means more GD, judgement, comments and all the things I'm already very negatively affected by.
But HT is so far out of our reach and also, as you say, it's a lot of money for something that's really not a guarantee for everybody. I love reading successful sway stories but we know they don't work for everyone, either.
My husband asked just the other day if we where guaranteed with our next baby that it would be 100% a boy would I go again and I said no I would prefer just 2 boys. If it was 100% a girl I would def go again.
While having my two boys I also had 2 miscarriages and about 5 people have told me oh you probably can't carry girls. REALLY that makes me upset what if they are right and is there anyway to find that out!? Also the more time that passes the more I don't want to go back to that whole newborn stage. Then someone will have a girl and I go back right back to the start. I keep thinking I'll regret it if I don't try.
I constantly am thinking about what to do, it's nice to know I'm not alone, what county are you from? I'm in Australia QLD.
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I don't actually have this issue with DH- it hink he will be happy to go on for however many i want. lol, he says to me 'its not like i will get a choice, you will just make all these logical arguments and i will give in to make you be quiet' haha. I only want 4 though so i will be fighting myself if umber 4 is another boy. I also had 2 missed miscarriages a few yrs back and my mother and other ppl regularly say they might have been girls and i might not be able to carry them, which makes me see red. They stopped saying it once i got really angry and pointed out how rare it is for someone to not be able to carry a certain gender. HT is also so far out of our reach, we can only sway and pray. I live in Victoria, Australia
Magical22
February 9th, 2015, 06:15 PM
3 would also be my max, one more chance if DH comes around !!
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SamS_TTCPink
February 15th, 2015, 07:41 PM
My husband said no more after our twins (no.3 & 4) but I had such a horrible birth with them that I really wanted another baby to have a nice experience, and we had DS5! :)
Then we weren't trying but also weren't preventing when I got pregnant with DS6. I don't think he was real happy about it at first but came around.
Then he said defiantly no more and made me get rid of everything! BUT.....then I looked into swaying and he agreed to try for our girl. Well, getting pregnant with twins, including our girl, he was more than happy, but now that we have lost our daughter he has agreed to sway again (unfortunatly HT is just not affordable as its not offered in Australia) one last time after the 12mths post c-section of this baby.
BrightSky
February 15th, 2015, 08:24 PM
Hubby only wanted 2, one of each of course. I always wanted 3. After having our son he now wants 3 as well (although he might just change his mind when our son goes through the terrible 2's, or when there is another one in the mix!) funnily enough if the next one is a girl I think I would want the third to be a boy, I have always loved the idea of having a mummies little boy to spoil as my last! If the next one is a boy, I think we will go down the HT route, which is such a hard decision due to the cost, it would be a case of remortgaging the house for us. My husband really wants a daughter too which is lucky, he comes from a large family of boys and has always wanted a daughter. He was very happy to have his 'boy' first though!!!!
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