Lost a baby girl at 18 weeks, dream of getting her back

[kkkk37]

Hi,

last December I lost my girl after Amniozentese. We did it as a comon pratice in europe if you are older than 33. I am 35, it was my first child. The girl was healthy. I want at any price to get my girl back , but I also don't want to wait too long. I was at IG and tried some advices from there then last month I suprisingly get my O, but 4 days later than it should be. I got BFN. This month I tried to do everything right, got a digital ph check and diva cup in order to try to test ph, but failed. There was no cm to be found. So I gave up and found this forum. Now I have read all advices here I am horriefied- I did the opposite for the last 2 month. I gain weight, I took Ca and Mg without diet, ate fat dairy. In 4, 5 days I will get my O, should I try this month or should I wait?
Some info to me:
I am 35 years old, in december I had a mc at 18 weeks. During the pregnancy and in december I lost about 4-6 pounds but in the last 2 months gained back 3-5. I am 5,4 feet and my weight now is 127 pounds (58 kg). I also toke Mg and Ca during two weeks every last two months, I tried to eat fat dairy.
Now I have only 4-5 days to O , and I will see my DH also only at O. What should I do this month?
Did mc itself sways? Or have I decrease my chandes at a girl by changing my diet with Mg, Ca and dairy?

I have one more question:
You say it is impotant to get a low blood sugar at 2WW, so the egg with a girl can grown? But is it not to late, what if the egg has a boy?

Thank you in advance.

[nuthinbutpink]

I am so sorry about your loss. I hope some of the swaying gals will jump in and help.

[atomic sagebrush]

I am so very sorry for your loss. :(

Don't worry about pH. We have seen so many opposites going both ways (boy to girl and girl to boy) that very few of us are worrying about it or testing.

In terms of when to try or not - above all else follow your heart. IF you want to have the best sway, you'd wait, but keep in mind that you may very well still get a girl this month anyway. None of these things are "magic bullets". Your weight is really pretty stable (because you lost and then gained) and it's a different situation than if your weight had been stable and you gained then..

No one is quite sure with the cal-mag. I personally think it sways blue and got my girl without much dairy at all after getting 4 boys with dairy and calcium. But it is up to you, and many people have taken it for a pink sway. The full fat dairy, I do believe is a strong blue sway tactic and that is the one that makes me the most nervous.

If you do decide to attempt this month, the MOST IMPORTANT thing is to keep with just one attempt. Do not have more than one time of unprotected sex. Timing does not matter, don't worry about only seeing your husband at ovulation time, but only have one attempt. For reasons we do not know, one attempt has gotten 70% success for us with pink.

The egg has already been fertilized in the 2WW, but we like to keep our blood sugar low for TWO reasons - the first is to provide the best environment for XX to grow and implant, and secondly because keeping blood sugar low when TTC may help "tell" our body to conceive more XX than XY. So if you get BFN that month, you will then be in a good position to carry on in the future with your TTC. :)

[kkkk37]

Thank you for the quick answers.
I think I will still try this month.
I will do it with one attemp as you said. I have drop to take Ca, Mg and cranberries two days ago.
My DH will have being restraining for 7 days at O. But when he restrain he had a lof of fluid. What should I do about it?
What can I still do to encrease my chanches: strick diet till O and furthermore?
Should I try Replens or RepHresh?
I will appreciate every advice.

Thank you in advance.

[kkkk37]

I have also one other question:
can I skip the meal in the evening instead of a breakfast?
I normally don't eat in the evening. But breakfast ist very impotant for me, I get head ache when don't eat in the moning.
Does have skipping a breakfast any other meaning, then try not to eat for a long time?

[bluebonnet22]

I have also one other question:
can I skip the meal in the evening instead of a breakfast?
I normally don't eat in the evening. But breakfast ist very impotant for me, I get head ache when don't eat in the moning.
Does have skipping a breakfast any other meaning, then try not to eat for a long time?

The main thing is just having a 12-16 hour fast every day. I usually ate dinner early-ish (6 PM) and then tried not to eat every morning until 10:00 AM or so. Do what works for you as long as you have a long fast in there.

[lisvna]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you for the quick answers.
I think I will still try this month.
I will do it with one attemp as you said. I have drop to take Ca, Mg and cranberries two days ago.
My DH will have being restraining for 7 days at O. But when he restrain he had a lof of fluid. What should I do about it?
What can I still do to encrease my chanches: strick diet till O and furthermore?
Should I try Replens or RepHresh?
I will appreciate every advice.

Thank you in advance.

It is normal for DH to make a lot of fluid after "abstain" or "restrain". It still seems to sway pink a little bit. Just keep the one attempt and don't worry about the amount of fluid that comes out.

You can do RepHresh if you like, but our results have shown that the jellies like RepHresh are not doing anything to help. Some people still want to include them, but they do lower your odds of pregnancy.

[atomic sagebrush]

I have also one other question:
can I skip the meal in the evening instead of a breakfast?
I normally don't eat in the evening. But breakfast ist very impotant for me, I get head ache when don't eat in the moning.
Does have skipping a breakfast any other meaning, then try not to eat for a long time?

Yes, you absolutely can skip evening meal instead. Most of us have found it is easier to skip breakfast. But if skipping the evening meal is easier for you, that's fine!! :)

[kkkk37]

Hi,

thank you for replies.
I will do it one time without RepHresh. Today I got my first opk+, so I want to try today.
But today also I have read here that abstaining is link with birth defects by mens over 35. My Dh is 35. What should I do now? We will try it not with first sperm batch but with second or third? Will the sperm count stay low? Or will it be helping against birth defects?
I how so little time now and am confused.

Thanks in advance.

[kkkk37]

Hi.

Thank you for the reply.

I want to try it today with one attemp without RepHresh. I got today my first opk+.
But now I am also afraid and confused, and have very little time: I have read today abstaining is link with birth defects by men over 35. My DH is 35. What should we do now?
If he releases one or two times before attemp today, and we will take only the second or third batch of sperm for our attemp will it help to prevent birth defects ? will it still sway pink, have low sperm count?

Thank you in advance.

[kkkk37]

Hi.
Thank you for your reply.
I want to try today with one attemp and without RepHresh .
But today I have also read that restraining is link with birth defect for men over 35,. My Dh is 36.
What can we do about it for today. Should he releases two or three times outside, and than we take the third batch of sperm for our try? Will the sperm count still be low ? Will it help against the birth defects chanches?
Thank you in advance.

[atomic sagebrush]

I"m so sorry I only just now saw this.

The risks are pretty small and I would have had you go ahead and try anyway. I try to avoid all preventable risks when I can, but they are really miniscule and not anything I would have had you postpone for. At 36 the odds are really quite low still. THe older the man, the higher the risk, and we have had some couples on here with husbands who were in their late 40's to 50's and the abstain is a much greater risk for them.

I would not have had you release 2 batches and use the third. The odds of conception would have been very low, and since all the sperm are still in formation during the same time (that included the abstain) it probably would have done little to avoid any risks from unhealthy sperm.

[kkkk37]

Hi.
I tried at the day I got my first +opk and only one time sa you have said.
Now I am in 2WW , impatient and have a lot of time. So I have read the both statistics for TTC success for a girl and a boy.
In statistic pink TTC with one attemp is very promising, but in blue TTC statistic it seems to be the same? Or ?

Thank you in advance.

[atomic sagebrush]

Don't take the statistics seriously. They're completely unreliable to compare that way. The one attempt for pink was in people doing an overall pink sway and ALSO one attempt. The one attempt for blue was people doing an overall blue sway and one attempt. It has been very very obvious over the course of 4 years on this site that one attempt is better for pink and 2-3 attempts is better for blue overall. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/43555-thoughts-stats.html

[kkkk37]

Thank you, also thank you for your earlier advice. I will stack to one attemp. :wink:

[kkkk37]

Hi.

this month I would like to try ATOMIC’S PREFERRED SWAY - frequent release with one attemp and a cutoff.
But have some questions:
- what is shot cutoff? For example, when O is due Friday, when should we attemp?
- antihistamine - I don't feel good about it, does it really change the sway outcomes?

Thanks you in advance

[Girlfriend]

It is normal for DH to make a lot of fluid after "abstain" or "restrain". It still seems to sway pink a little bit. Just keep the one attempt and don't worry about the amount of fluid that comes out.

You can do RepHresh if you like, but our results have shown that the jellies like RepHresh are not doing anything to help. Some people still want to include them, but they do lower your odds of pregnancy.


I'm just wondering when should this one attempt be? At ovulation, or positive OPK ? Also what should hubby so before hand? Abstain ? For how many days? What is the best result? How does one keep the blood sugar low? Does that mean not eating sweets?
Does one attempt work if I haven't been on a diet?

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi.

this month I would like to try ATOMIC’S PREFERRED SWAY - frequent release with one attemp and a cutoff.
But have some questions:
- what is shot cutoff? For example, when O is due Friday, when should we attemp?
- antihistamine - I don't feel good about it, does it really change the sway outcomes?

Thanks you in advance

No, antihistamine has not gotten good results for us (barely above 50-50) and I would not bother if you don't feel good about it.

IF O is due Friday, DTD Wed. or Thurs. I think Thurs. gives a better chance of conception when swaying than Wed. does, but if you are a big believer in timing you might want to try Wed. instead.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm just wondering when should this one attempt be? At ovulation, or positive OPK ? Also what should hubby so before hand? Abstain ? For how many days? What is the best result? How does one keep the blood sugar low? Does that mean not eating sweets?
Does one attempt work if I haven't been on a diet?

DTD at positive OPK is much better chance of conception than ovulation (which it is impossible to pin down ovulation to the day for most people, esp. with swaying)

It is impossible based on numbers to say "what is best result". Different groups of people do different sway tactics for different reasons and to compare them is like comparing apples to oranges.

I do not have enough info to say if one attempt works if you haven't been on a diet. Our numbers for blue indicate that it DOESN'T work as well without diet (at least nowher near as well) because quite a few blue swayers have gotten boys with one attempt and HE Diet. The numbers as represented in our pink sway stats are ffor people doing overall pink sways including diet IN ADDITION to one attempt.

When you say "haven't been on a diet" have you made ANY dietary changes?? Diet can still sway pink for you even if you haven't been super strict.

[Girlfriend]

No, antihistamine has not gotten good results for us (barely above 50-50) and I would not bother if you don't feel good about it.

IF O is due Friday, DTD Wed. or Thurs. I think Thurs. gives a better chance of conception when swaying than Wed. does, but if you are a big believer in timing you might want to try Wed. instead.


Hi Atomic
Can you please clarify is the one and only attempt a day before O? Or is it at positive OPK stick??
Also what does frequent release mean? Does that mean hubby should release every day before first attempt? So how many days of frequent release?

[atomic sagebrush]

They are the SAME THING. Most people get positive OPK the day before ovulation.

FR is 7-10 days of release, one per day, before your attempt, and then when you go to have your attempt, that should be the only release of that day. Don't have him release on the day of attempt, that attempt IS your release that day

[kkkk37]

Hi atomic and all,

I am still not PG and need your advice again. Now I am more desperate than before.

I had a miscarriage at 18 weeks last December. It was a girl, I got PG in at first TTC, only with one attempt sex that month. I and my DH are 36 now and have now children jet.
In January, February and March I have tried TTC, but was not successful.

In march I also had a cyst, but got rid of it in the next cycle with the help of Vitex, which I took about 3 weeks, till I thought I was PG, but at the end I was not. That time I have had no side effects. TTCs in April and May were also in vain. Juny I stopped
emotionally too exhausted of BFNs and MC.
Before MC I had a cycle of 28 days, afterward also. But after cyst till now it is about 26 days, with spotting some days before AF.

This month I tried TTC again with Vitex from AF to till some days ago, I have to stop it because I got early pregnancy symptoms and was sure I was PG, only I was not.
My Symptoms were: sore breasts, cramps without AF, and I got very very hungry all the time.
I read that such sympotms can be linked to Vitex for some women.
It seemed like my AF will be here in 2 days, It will be 28 day cycle.

I want to try to TTC a girl in September again. But I don't know should I take Vitex next month or in September or should I stay away from it. By TTCs this year I try to have only one attempt pro cycle and FR for DH in order to get a girl, but got not PG.
I want girl very, very much,but I don't know how should I sway? One attempt pro month seems not to work for me anymore. Vitex seems to mess with my body.
What should I do beside the diet or should I do nothing, and hope I get a girl just like the first time?
I want to get PG, but for me it should be a girl, no boy.

Thanks you in advance.

[True Blue]

Honestly first I would drop the vitex, it causes more problems and not worth taking.
Stick with the diet and one attempt but drop the vitex.

[atomic sagebrush]

We have to let go of the vitex because it has been preventing pregnancy for some people.

I would drop FR for your husband and have him do a regular release every 2-4 days. This will really increase your odds of conception. It will not harm your sway because we have found that FR has not gotten great results anyway.

Let's try to keep to one attempt if we can, for at least one more month. I want to see what happens for you without the vitex and FR and with the one attempt. :)

[kkkk37]

Thank you for the fast responses. I will try next month with one attempt. If you believe in us I get a hope again.

[kkkk37]

HI,

I am back. This month I have tried with one attemp and failed, but now I think the problem is that my LP is too short. I got spottings like at 7 DPO. Today at 9 DPO I was by a doctor, he confirmed that O was there and the lining seems to be good, but spottings are also there. He gave me progesteron-pills, which I should take from O to Af, if I didn't get pregnant.

In one thread I have read that atomic suggests Clomid to boost O/egg quality/P levels from the beginning so P level will not be low. But is it possible to have lower P level and a good egg quality at the same time? at the end I am not sure the egg quality is ok, this month I had O at CD15-16.

What supplements are best to lengthen LP and get rid of spottings?!

How will P supplements impact my sway? If low fertility meants pink, will this pills improve my fertility and sway blue? or pink? Should I try next month still one attemp with pills or many attemps without pills? Where are the chances for pink better? If I start with P supplements and get BFP how long should I take it?

Thanks you in advance.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes 7-9 days is too short.

Progesterone and egg quality are two separate things (and Clomid may actually hurt egg quality for people with high FSH) It WILL help fix the short LP and I personally think Clomid is much better than prog supplements. You would have to do some other types of tests to check your egg quality, nothing you have had tested so far can tell us anything about that.

Can you verify he wants you to start prog at O? Most docs have people start 1-3 days after ovulation, not O day.

Prog supps do not sway so don't worrya bout that.

If you get pregnant while on progesterone supplements you need to continue thru the entire first trimester of pregnancy and only after that point, wean off.

[kkkk37]

Thank you for the answer.

I am at 11DPO and AF is not here, should start at Monday (26-28 days cycle). But the spottings were there at 7 DPO.
At 9 DPO my blood was taken for the test, the results should be ready at Monday, I will post.
Which blood values are important in oder to verify if porgesterone level is low and why (FSH, LH , Progesterone)?
Yes, I should take the first 2 pills of prog supplements on O-Day.

During last pregnancy I got bleedings at 9 Weeks so I took also prog supplements. I am no fun of it, because I got bad headache while on it.

Would clomid will be better for me? I got positive OPKs every month since MC, even right after MC. But O was always late like CD15-16. Last Month O was at CD16 . Is it too late?
I am 36 now, want a girl but no twins. IS it possible while on clomid to go to a doc so he can verify how many follicles are there, so you will give a try only if there is only one? Or will it be too late to have sex by the time follicles are seen on a screen?

Vitex? I have tried it last month and have a some early pregnancy symptoms from it, but I took it past O. I also had no spottings that month.
You also have said it is difficult to get pregnant while on Vitex.

If not clomid, Vitex and progesterone what esle?
I am very despaired and sad :sad:

Thanks you in advance.

[kkkk37]

Can you please explain, why do you think Clomid is better than prog supplements.
Thank you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Spotting is ok, provided AF hangs on till CD 12-14. Your lining isn't completely coming off, not at all, andthere are many women who have spotting the whole LP and still get pregnant.

The number you want to know at 9 DPO is your progesterone.

Clomid is always better than prog supplements. Clomid helps you get pregnant and is the best of the best at TRULY raising progesterone. Studies have shown that progesterone supplements DO NOT HELP women to get and stay pregnant with the exception of women who have a very short LP (which if AF is not here at CD 11, this is not you) They may postpone a miscarriage for a little while but they do not help a pregnancy that isn't working out, to become viable. They only drag out the inevitable and it's been proven. More and more doctors are dropping them but many will still let people have them almost as a placebo.

It is always possible to go to the doctor and see how many follicles you ahve on Clomid but you will drastically cut your odds of conception by doing that. The follicles do not always "pop" and even when 2,3,4 eggs are released, it is very common for only one to successfully fertilize and implant.

No vitex. I feel like it is not helping anyone at all except women with very severe PCOS. For everyone else it is making matters worse.

[kkkk37]

Thank you, I am feeling much better now. I will post the blood results when I get them.

[kkkk37]

Hi

The blood test results are :
Progesterone 1678ng/dl AT 9 DPO. No other vagues were tested, but progesterone seems to be ok or not? But the doc says I should take prog supplements nonetheless. Should I? I would rather
try without, but will prog supplements improve my chances ? If progesterone level is ok, what are the reasons for spottings?
Do spottings decrease chances of pregnancy?
Sorry for so many questions

Thank you in advance

[kkkk37]

Sorry but i have one more problem - all this time, since I have conceived my girl that i lost, i have been taken B12 as a part of folic acid supplement. Till now I was not aware that it sways blue. What should I do now? If I stop with B12 today, when can I ttc? How long will it take to leave my system?

[kkkk37]

Sorry but one more question :suprise:


IF I would include alcohol in my sway( vodka or rom with coke) how much (ml) is not too much or not to little for the effect? When should I quit drinking at O or some days before?

Thank you in advance

[kkkk37]

Still no replies:sad:

[atomic sagebrush]

I answer the posts from oldest to newest and whenever you post, it bumps back up to the top to make it look "newer" than it really is. So when you ask several questions over a few days, it is always in the "new" section and I am still back in the "old". It is absolutely fine to do that, of course, I am just explaining why I did not respond until just now. I just caught up to it.

I am not a fan of progesterone supplements for no reason. They've been shown to do no good for getting and staying pregnant. But, many doctors still use them and it's up to you if you want to proceedwith htem.

Low estrogen can also cause some spotting. But so can things like fibroids and polyps, have they checked for those?

I would have you add 1 serv. full fat dairy a day, 4-6 eggs a week, and 1 serv. of salmon or red meat a week to what you're already eating. This can help with both progesterone and estrogen.

Don't worry about the B12, go ahead and wean off it now and TTC right away. Dont' worry about it leaving your system.

1-2 glasses of alcohol a day.

[kkkk37]

Hi,

Thank you very much for your time and answers.

I am sorry, I didn't want to seem so impatient. But I probably am, I feel myself just alone and sad with my desperate wish for a girl. But many ladies here feel perhaps the same so I am sorry and will try ...
And thank you for your explanation about your way of answering questions, I thought it was the other way around.

So you think progesterone is OK?

Low Estrogen - may it cause problems in getting or maintaining pregnancy?
I eats eggs sometimes, I am a big fan of it, so I cheat. I will also include salmon in my diet.

I will try this month without prop supplements, I don't like them either.

Fibrosis and polyps - every time I visit the doc, I get vaginal ultrasound, last time also. Doc says it looks good. Would he detect
Fibrosis and polyps per ultrasound or is there other ways to check it?

B12 - I was at a store today and was said there are no folic acid supplements for pregnant women without B12 in Germany. I will ask here ladies from Germany what do they take. But if I will not find some folic without B12, what should I do?

So 1-2 units of alcohol per day? When should I quit drinking at O or some days before?

Thank you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Progesterone looks ok to me but I am not a doctor, of course.

Eating eggs is not a cheat - they are fine if they fit in the limits of your diet.

Normally they would see polyps or fibroids on the ultrasound but many doctors do not treat small ones and so may not have mentioned it? I do think they would have said something but can't be 100% sure.

Go ahead and use the folic with the B12. It's not that terrible and may help you have a healthy pregnancy.

[atomic sagebrush]

yes 1-2 servings of alcohol.

[kkkk37]

Thank you very much. New cycle new chance :fingers:

[kkkk37]

I have now an ugent problem.
Today I got +opk and we would bd in some hours tonight.
Normally I have very litte CM and days befor O not at O. This time I have a lot CM since two last days and today also. What can I do now? Antihistamine ? I would not like to take.
Should I drink alcohol? Alcohol dehydrates the body, will it help to dry CM up ?

Thank you in advance.

[atomic sagebrush]

Do not take the antihistamine, it's time for you guys to get pregnant.

You do need some EWCM to get pregnant and it may be that this is just what we needed to have happen. I got my girl with some visible CM after getting my 4th boy without any EWCM so I can assure you it can happen that way!

Alcohol is at your discretion. We have gotten good results with it for swaying but I think that it needs to be used for more than just one time for it to be effective. IT won't HURT your sway, just that it won't help either.

[kkkk37]

Thank you for the quick response and encouragement.

[kkkk37]

Hi atomic,

I am at 9 DPO today. In the morning I get BFN and now in the evening I get small brown sporttings.
I am so sad, and do not know what to do next. Is there still a chance for me this month? I do not think so. What should I do next month?
Thank you

[Pbn3]

Hi kkkk I'm sorry to crash in here but I recognized your name from oct 2ww thread. 9dpo is still too early to lose hope and fwiw brown spotting could be implantation. I'm not trying to get your hopes up, I just don't want you to lose all hope yet.

[kkkk37]

Pbn,
Please crash in. You are very welcome.
Thank you for your Support. Today I get also Bfn and I get spottings Allahs some days before af :sad:

[Pbn3]

Fingers crossed for you kkkk! Do you know how long your luteal phase is normally?

[kkkk37]

I have 28 days cycle. And I get always 2-4 days before af spottings. Now I get spottings a little bit earlier live at 7-9 DPO. So I think lh is about 12 14 days but with spottings, i do not know if spottings mean the end of lh. First time i got Bfp at the first try, but now I am trying since january. I am 36 and have no other children...

[atomic sagebrush]

9 and even 10 days past ovulation is too early to get reliable pregnancy tests. Spotting can happen even if you are pregnant - you're not out yet! FXFXFX

[kkkk37]

Thank you. I will be waiting, but i do not have much hope.

[atomic sagebrush]

Keep us posted...I am thinking of you. :heart:

[kkkk37]

I am at 12 DPO today, AF is starting :sad:

I have a 28-29 days cycle,my O is always at 16 CD ( is it too late ?) and at 8-10 DPO I get spottings.
I have had only one attemp at month. One month 12 hours before +opks and other month 12 hours after + opks.
What should I do different for the next month. I start losing my hope for a BFP without doctors help at all :sad:

Thank you.

[atomic sagebrush]

O on CD 16 is fine.

NO more attempts 12 hours after positive OPK if you can help it, that is too late for some people.

I would have you guys BD every 4 days and then if you want to, you can add in one more attempt at positive OPK (that night, not 12 hours later if you can help it) Adding that second attempt will up odds of conception but may be slightly more blue friendly than just doing every 4 days.