Dilemma/ need advice

[HealthyGirl]

So AF hasn't arrived ( due in 3-4 days) but pregnancy tests show up being negative.
Part of me is happy yet a bit sad bc I'm concerned as to why we couldn't conceive with our one attempt ( 2 days before positive opk).

Also I will be faced with the dilemma whether to take 25mg of clomid for this cycle or not.Last month I didn't have clomid and looks like my clomid is estimated to arrive on CD 4 ( I will be taking it CD 5-9).

So my question is what would you do.
If your husband didn't know about the medication and was opposed to twins would you still take it and not tell him ?

Would getting a scan at all help with lowering my chances of getting twins?

Please give me some input.

[bluebonnet22]

That's tough. Based on reading your other posts I got the sense that you didn't feel as though you *HAD* to have a girl and were at peace with whatever would come of a sway. I felt the same way and knew I would never take clomid to sway because it crossed a line for me and knew I would be ok with another boy. Being pregnant with twins is incredibly scary (DH and I both were opposed to that side effect of clomid!) and if I knew I had caused this twin pregnancy with medication I'd feel extremely guilty about it. Basically what I'm saying is which is more upsetting to you - a failed sway or twins (due to medication)? If a successful sway is most important I would take the clomid. The odds are still relatively low of twins even on clomid.

[nuthinbutpink]

I would not take clomid for fun without having a scan. That's what jon and Kate took and she had 6 babies.

[nuthinbutpink]

The doctor actually refused to do the IUI because of her scan and she and Jon had sex anyway and got pregnant with 7 babies. One died early. So not worth the risk and lying to your husband about it is just wrong.

[djmommy]

The doctor actually refused to do the IUI because of her scan and she and Jon had sex anyway and got pregnant with 7 babies. One died early. So not worth the risk and lying to your husband about it is just wrong.

OMGOSH! I never knew this to be the case. Wow! That is totally crazy!

[maidentomother]

One attempt 2 days before OPK is at best most likely a 3 day cut off, but could well have been a 4-5 day cut off or even longer, especially since AF being 'late' suggests you Oed later than you think. Not everyone Os the day after a positive OPK, it often takes a few days, sometimes several. Or you can fail to O despite an LH surge and not actually O until a couple weeks later after surging again. Without temping or using OPKs daily all cycle long, though, you can't know.

So I wouldn't assume one attempt is inadequate. I'd assume your timing was off and there weren't enough sperm remaining by the time you finally Oed.

I would never lie to my husband about taking clomid bc I'm big on honesty especially in regards to matters that affect both parties and that the ignorant party feels strongly about. I have been lied to/deceived about medication/drug use by significant others and I felt very betrayed. But I don't know your DH or your relationship.

I do think you should get a scan, but if you absolutely can't, I think you will most likely be fine on 25mg CD5-9. Good luck whatever you decide!

[HealthyGirl]

Thank for the replies everyone.
Since the clomid was self prescribed when I call the scanning place what do I tell them? I don't want them to think I'm crazy.
If I tell them I want a scan aren't they gonna say why am I not going to the place where I got the clomid from?

Also what does the scan tell me as far as number of eggs/ follicles and is it a good predictor to minimize the chance of twins?


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[nuthinbutpink]

Have you ever had a scan if your ovaries before? Do you have PCOS? It's just risky not knowing how you may respond.

[HealthyGirl]

I don't have PCOS and I've never had scans of my ovaries.


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[smarston3]

I understand your dilemma. DH is aware we could have multiples on clomid. However, I explained to him that they might not all fertilize. And I haven't had a normal period since June 2011 (pregnant, breastfeeding, mirena) so it's not like I'm been ovulating and am overstimuled. Our problem is we are getting 9 inches of snow today..supposed to get scanned today or tomorrow. RE said "sex at your best judgement" if I can't get scanned. Are you willing to try on your own for a few months before taking clomid? Or will you be upset if next month you get a boy? Just some food for thought


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[nuthinbutpink]

If you have never had a scan of your ovaries, you could have an antral follicle count of 30 depending on your age. You just need to understand the risks of taking a drug recreationally. It's your life of course but you asked and that's my opinion.

[maidentomother]

Yeah if you've NEVER had your ovaries scanned I'd be nervous.

[HealthyGirl]

Wow! I'm getting scared now.
I'm going to be 35 soon.
What is antral follicle 30?


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[atomic sagebrush]

I would not take clomid for fun without having a scan. That's what jon and Kate took and she had 6 babies.

I agree that my very great preference is that everyone is monitored while on Clomid but that is NOT the outcome that 99.99% of people would ever have on Clomid. Kate was likely taking a very high dose, she had severe PCOS, and had already had multiples so she is the exception and not the rule.

The problem with Clomid for swaying is that doctors themselves are not using it responsibly. They are handing it out without monitoring anyway, in higher doses than people need, upping doses after one BFN, and I think that we are using it more responsibly than many people's doctors are giving it to them. So it's not necessarily a question of , if you get it from your doctor, all is well, yk??

[atomic sagebrush]

So AF hasn't arrived ( due in 3-4 days) but pregnancy tests show up being negative.
Part of me is happy yet a bit sad bc I'm concerned as to why we couldn't conceive with our one attempt ( 2 days before positive opk).

Also I will be faced with the dilemma whether to take 25mg of clomid for this cycle or not.Last month I didn't have clomid and looks like my clomid is estimated to arrive on CD 4 ( I will be taking it CD 5-9).

So my question is what would you do.
If your husband didn't know about the medication and was opposed to twins would you still take it and not tell him ?

Would getting a scan at all help with lowering my chances of getting twins?

Please give me some input.

It takes fully fertile couples doing nothing to sway, an average of 3-6 months

It is silly to be concerned over one month's attempt yielding BFN. It is actualy unusual to conceive the first month of trying (for anyone!)

I would not take the medication without my husband's blessing. But fact is, you can still get twins without Clomid. I take the risks of twinning very seriously and I honestly don't WANT people to get pg with twins.

Yes, getting a scan is my very very very great preference for everyone who has taken Clomid. If it is ppossible, please do so. Then you simply TTC if there is only 1 or 2 follicles. The odds of both eggs getting fertilized is really not that high. Or, if you want to be absolutely sure you'd just DTD if only one egg was ovulated - but many times two eggs are ovulated even without Clomid.

[atomic sagebrush]

Wow! I'm getting scared now.
I'm going to be 35 soon.
What is antral follicle 30?


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THat 30 eggs are in development in your ovaries. Clomid could possibly make more of these eggs develop and be ovulated.

I have only ever seen 2 people take Clomid at 50 mg and get 4 eggs. Both had severe PCOS.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank for the replies everyone.
Since the clomid was self prescribed when I call the scanning place what do I tell them? I don't want them to think I'm crazy.
If I tell them I want a scan aren't they gonna say why am I not going to the place where I got the clomid from?

Also what does the scan tell me as far as number of eggs/ follicles and is it a good predictor to minimize the chance of twins?


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Just say you've been TTC a while and think you're missing ovulation.

They can't tell anything and you then just don't TTC if you have more than one egg released. Many people would TTC with two eggs released, because evenwhen two are released, you have still pretty low chance that both are fertilized, but in your case you'd prob. want to hold off.

[nuthinbutpink]

At least tell your husband!!!

[HealthyGirl]

I think after reading all the replies my gut feeling tells me to just go at it natural.

I have been on the diet for 7 weeks so far and I will be on it for almost 9 weeks when we try this cycle. I have been mainly eating vegetarian and have lost 7 lbs ( currently weigh 100 lbs)
Husband is doing supplements and we will give it another one time BD attempt.

I just found out another mom here that had clomid for sway purposes only is having a boy so that makes me feel better about my decision ( she hasn't reported back).



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[HealthyGirl]

Hopefully I can stay strong and keep this mindset and won't get tempted once my clomid is here in a few days.


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[atomic sagebrush]

People can and do get boys with Clomid. No magic bullet to be sure.

at 100 lbs it's time to hold steady where you're at.

[bluebonnet22]

It's definitely not a bad idea to try "naturally" the first few months and take the clomid later if need be. I would personally only take the clomid if DH was on board. As soon as my DH found out we were having twins he said "I'm going to raid your medicine cabinet and if I find fertility meds, you're in trouble!!". He was only half-kidding! :)

[HealthyGirl]

Bluebonnet you are having twins?


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[bluebonnet22]

Bluebonnet you are having twins?


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Yes but completely randomly (no family history or medication). They are boy girl twins and although I was terrified at first by now we are both so excited about them! Funny how quickly you can fall in love!

[HealthyGirl]

Oh wow!
Congrats! That is a beautiful thing.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Just a reminder that it is def. possible to conceive twins without Clomid!!!! :)

[HealthyGirl]

I definitely know that and know chances of twins is higher depending on mothers age.


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[bluebonnet22]

Just a reminder that it is def. possible to conceive twins without Clomid!!!! :)

:) So true! I thought being young-ish (30) and thin and no family history I was safe but apparently I was really meant to have these 2 babies!

[HealthyGirl]

So I know I had decided not to take clomid but now I'm really tempted specially since I got it right in time for CD 4!!!

How does this scenario sound.
I call my obgyn tomorrow and say I'm planning on starting it ( or make it sound like I started it) and see if he is willing to scan and monitor me. If he says yes then I will finish the clomid and if he says no then I will give up on the clomid idea since I want a scan for sure.
Any thoughts?

Also does anyone know if you take clomid for one cycle does it affect your cycle for the following even you stop taking it?

Please give me some input since CD 4 is in less than 2 days.

Thanks


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[atomic sagebrush]

Fine by me, the worst he can say is no.

We have seen it seeming to affect things the following month as well. This tends to be stronger after more than one month on the Clomid but I do know of several people who did seem to continue having results even after just one month on it.

[HealthyGirl]

So he has agreed to monitor me.
He wants to do a scan on CD 3 /4 and I'm currently on CD 4 and wants $900 for scans and monitoring for one cycle?
Is that reasonable? Should I go for it?


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[Jeanniebabi82]

I thought about taking Clomid. We were pregnant with a set of twins and lost them. After that D&C we had my two year old Rye. Good luck healthygirl.

[HealthyGirl]

Sorry jeanniebabi.
Best of luck.


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[lovemy2blessings]

Healthygirl I read through all the comments of your post...if $900 is in your budget go for it, but rememberClomid doesn't guarantee you a girl( even monitored). I got my 3 rd )boy on Clomid like Atomic said It's not guaranteed I had to take Clomid because I wasn't ovulating. Just keep in mind that if you do get pregnant you have to be Ok with hearing "It's a boy!" Because anything is possible even multiples! Have you talked to your Dh about your decisions or you're still keeping it a secret? GL with your decision!

[HealthyGirl]

Thanks for the input lovemy2blessings.
I guess it makes me feel good about my decision since I see a lot of people still get boys on it.
Our of curiosity did you do other sway tactics???

I ended up not taking it since it was already too late to get scanned this month. DH doesn't know.
Hopefully I will get a BFP this month and the whole clomid dilemma will be out the question.




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[lovemy2blessings]

You're welcome! Yes I did the cardio exercise route 6 times a week for one hour and LE diet for 7-8 months...plus Clomid and (Folic Acid, Chitosan, Iron & Zinc)<--- per recommended by Atomic, but remember swaying is never 100% guaranteed. I have a precious failed GD sway baby BOY and feel so blessed to have him there's no doubt that he was meant to be part of our family (despite all the sway tactics) . He has stolen my heart and feel EXTREMELY blessed to have him!

GL and hopefully you get your BFP this month but please don't hide something so serious from dh!

[HealthyGirl]

He was meant to be part of your family. So glad to hear he has stolen your heart.
Thanks for sharing your experience and best of luck.


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