finding out at the birth?

[rainbowflower]

Has anyone else had a strong preference yet chosen to stay team yellow?

I had swayed pink with DS2 and finding out during pregnancy was almost traumatic..

I'm now 22 weeks but finding gender all I can think about at the moment. This baby was a surprise but at a time when many lifestyle factors would have swayed blue (normal diet, just stopped BF, new OH so lots of DTD). I really think it's a boy.

If you found out you had an opposite at birth, did it ruin the moment for you?

[JillyBean23]

I have a post a few down from yours in this same Form about almost the exact same thing. I'm pregnant with number three and have two girls at home and am really hoping for a boy (but have convinced myself it's another girl.) I was back and forth on finding out or not, but in the end decided that personally for me once I see the baby it wont matter if it's a boy or girl as they will be mine and they will need me regardless. I'm not one that bonds with my babies well before they are born so I think finding out it's a girl will just make me mad for the next 16 weeks. Only you can really answer that question for yourself. I thought I wanted to know, but really I only wanted to know if it was a boy and if it's not I would have had a harder time dealing with the rest of my pregnancy. Good luck! Hope you get what you want. I hate that we all go through this!

[hopper]

From my own experience I would find out before delivery. On DS1 I was fully sure I was having a DD, I had no preference at the time but just was so shocked when they told me I had a son. Its hard to admit this but it took me longer than I would have liked to bond with him. After dealing with PND we got pregnant again and at 20 found out we were having another son, I had another 21 weeks (I went overdue)to come to terms with it and when DS2 was born I felt so at peace and calm. It was a beautiful moment. I will definitely find out on any and all future kiddie have. I think it's a very personal thing, dependent on your personality. I love to be prepared and finding out the baby's gender helped me prepare. Just my two cents :) Best of luck with whatever you decide to do :)

[Pbn3]

Hi rainbowflower with ds2 I didn't find out but the sonographer slipped the word his during my 20 week scan. I convinced myself she said its not his because I really didn't want to know. When ds2 was born it was very special seeing his little face and I didn't feel any gd. I will be ttc again soon and really don't think I'll find out if I finally will have my girl (it will be my last baby) as I believe I'd cope better with any gd with a beautiful newborn right in front of me than if I found out halfway thru pregnancy and knowing what was coming. I don't know if that makes any sense to you :)??

[kitkat18]

Quite a few in my due date group were team yellow/green. Its so personal! I was glad I had a really good nub shot as otherwise I would have stayed team yellow because no way did I want to experience serious GD again in pregnancy, it ruined it for me. Best of luck with your decision X

[Myloves]

For my last pregnancy, I chose to go Team Green! I knew deep down that even though I had my girl, I'd still have GD if my twins were boys. I always wanted girls, though I love my boys so much! I just couldn't imagine my family being BBGBB with my DD being the only girl AND the middle child. So I waited... seriously though despite the waiting it was the best pregnancy I've ever had. Yes, during the earlier weeks I did fret over the gender a bit (I even debated on whether I should stop going team green just to find out what I was having!) But I didn't and it was so nice just being excited about having two babies, and not feeling any GD.

In the end, I got two daughters. <3

[Myloves]

And as for your end question: I don't know 100% for sure, because I did have horrible GD with both my sons, but I would have moved on ALOT quicker!

[trifecta]

I would just rip off the band-aid.

I found out with both my boys and would find out again. I would rather just know so I could start getting excited about my real child, choose a name and decorate the nursery (two really FUN parts of pregnancy in my opinion). The time after birth is so emotional I would't want something like that hanging over me during childbirth or for my first encounters with my child. I bonded well with my younger son but I still had lots of complicated feelings about not having a daughter and I suffered from PPD after both births (unrelated to GD).

I think the expectation that bonding with your child will take care of your GD is not always realistic. For most people I think your feeling about your child and your feelings of sadness about the child you might never have are separate and can easily coexist. Unfortunately.

[Claire33]

I have always needed to know, just in order to deal with the GD before the baby is born, so that all I concentrate on after the birth is the baby I expect to get, not the one I didn't want due to wrong gender. But we are all different. I just didn't want to deal with any disappointment after having a fresh newborn, but just concentrate on bonding.

[rainbowflower]

Thank you for your replies!

Taken a couple of days to ponder... leaning towards team tellow still, although would like to hear from more who got opposites. I know it's such an individual thing!

I remembered that with DS1 (had a girl preference) that when he was born it didn't even cross my mind to check to see what I had until my mum asked (she was a birth partner ) so it could be that way this time too, maybe

Thing is, I'm still having fun choosing names (just got the gun of picking two). We're in rented so not much I can do nursery wise but have been teaching myself to crochet and made the baby a lovely rainbow baby blanket so enjoying that (when energy levels permit!) I don't think I'm missing out so far on the fun planning bits. Refer to baby as "he" all the time though especially when he kicks or I hear his heartbeat :) so GD isn't overwhelming at the moment

[rainbowflower]

Thank you for your replies!

Taken a couple of days to ponder... leaning towards team tellow still, although would like to hear from more who got opposites. I know it's such an individual thing!

I remembered that with DS1 (had a girl preference) that when he was born it didn't even cross my mind to check to see what I had until my mum asked (she was a birth partner ) so it could be that way this time too, maybe

Thing is, I'm still having fun choosing names (just got the gun of picking two). We're in rented so not much I can do nursery wise but have been teaching myself to crochet and made the baby a lovely rainbow baby blanket so enjoying that (when energy levels permit!) I don't think I'm missing out so far on the fun planning bits. Refer to baby as "he" all the time though especially when he kicks or I hear his heartbeat :) so GD isn't overwhelming at the moment

[kitkat18]

Sounds like you are in a good space Rainbow to stay team yellow! There are so many lovely cool gender neutral nurseries and clothes! Xx

[rainbowflower]

I don't know.. had a dream last night that suggested I'm not fully at peace with team yellow yet :(

[Magical22]

You can always get them to write it on a piece of paper so when you are ready to know it's right there [emoji5]️


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[trifecta]

I'm sorry you're not feeling as confident about it. I think magical's suggestion is a good one if you could resist looking. I would not have enough self-control in that area but that might be different for you. :oops:

[rainbowflower]

I don't think I'd be able to resist looking tbh, having it there would be too tempting and although I may book a 4D scan it'll be a basic one and non-gender checking anyway (they charge extra for that)