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Dana-Alicia
March 26th, 2015, 11:50 AM
I remember it so well. My mom, my sister and I had been to a huge baby convention when I was just 4 weeks pregnant with my first son. I was still grieving bad at the time for the loss of my daughter and I couldn't believe I was pregnant again, let alone I would have a healthy child. But to get my mind of all the worrying and stress, I decided to go and shop till I drop and look at all the cute baby stuff. Just to get in that happy place again about being pregnant and having a second chance at being a mom. Finally. When we were waiting at the trainstation to go home, we were talking about the gender of the baby growing inside of me and I said: I think this is a boy. And my mom said: Yes I'm afraid so... BAM! I was absolutely gutted. My mum only has girls, 4 of them, and she never made it a secret she was thrilled with that. She never liked boys, they were yukky and loud and her girls were blonde with curly's and dresses and barbiedolls and so on.

We grew up hearing to stay away from boys, boys only want one thing, I literally thought at the time boys don't have feelings. Not like we do. Boys don't know how to love, like my dad. He was there, but he wasn't there, always working and not really bothered with us. One day, I was about 15, I asked him if he ever wanted a son. he said: you always want something you don't have, but I'm happy to have you 4 girls. That was one of the very rare moments he showed some affection. He was honest, but he had come to terms with his GD. My sisters and I are girly girls. We get our nails done, always wear make up, prefer dresses over pants and so on. When I was pregnant they were not shy about wanting me to have a girl. For a girl they could go shopping for little dresses and load her with gifts and pink, glitters and unicorns. You girls can imagine how gutted I was when I heard boy twice. I had had a girl and she died. I had failed miserably. Not only did I dissapoint my family, I dissapointed myself.

Now fast forward 7 years. I now have two sons and my parents and sisters are over the moon with them. OVER THE MOON I tell you! My oldest son is so attached to my mom and my mom is so very protective over him, buys them toys all the time and her eyes light up when she talks about them. She's one of those horrible grandma's that only wants to talk about her grandkids lol. My dad and my youngest son have such a special bound as well. My dad takes the boys out on bike rides and to the carwash, he swims with them and encourages them to play sports. Stuff he never did with us, as he was always working and too tired on his days off. And you know what? These little boys have healed us in so many ways, I can't even describe. They have brought the light back in my life when it was really really dark after their sister had died. I feel we are now closer as a family and we are so very thankful to have them. Now our family has another grandson and like my sons, he gets treated like the king that he is. Not because of his gender, but because they are so precious and cute and perfect in every way. They are all so loving, kind and gentle, not at all the boys I would have expected! And I never hear my mom say a bad word about boys again, she adores them. And my dad? I think we kind of made up for his GD :pickuphappy: :highfive:

I know if I ever get pregnant again and it's a boy, my family would be fine with it. It doesn't matter to them as much as it matters to me. For anyone who is experiencing GD now because of their family, I really do think your families will be blessed and feel happy either way. A boy or a girl, he/she plays a great part in your family. Don't let them get you down while you are pregnant, as they will fall in love with that helpless, wrinkly, little person that just came from your body screaming. He or she is just perfect the way he/she is. And next time, we will try to get the odds to ever be in our favour by swaying or going HT :highfive: As we can and will always dream of that perfect family we always wanted. And in the end, it will be more perfect than we ever hoped for. (I'm sorry if I made any typo's - I bet i made many -, English is not my native language, my kids are trying to kill eachother in their bedroom so I'm doing this quickly lol and I just had my nails done and they're a bit too long! will read back later and adjust all the typo's, so forgive me for now)

Kittybear
March 26th, 2015, 03:48 PM
Beautiful post Hun xxx

(And your English looked perfect to me ;) ) xx

deaks66
March 26th, 2015, 04:04 PM
Such a lovely post xx

gizmo77
March 26th, 2015, 04:17 PM
Enjoyed reading! Now I want a boy even badder! ;-)

Mrs_Incredible
March 26th, 2015, 04:22 PM
So sorry for the loss of your daughter. Xx
My mum wanted daughters, got 2. (I must ask my dad if he secretly wanted a boy, I've never got that vibe from him, so if he had gd he hid it well.) When we found out our first was a boy she said all the right things but i could tell she wished a daughter for me too. Well, like your mum, my mum was blown away with her first grandchild, she calls him "my J" still, 11 years on. Has such a special bond with him. My boys all adore her. Like she adores them. My 3 boys and my sisters boy too. Her gd towards wanting girls evaporated when she met her grandson. As much as she's loving having a granddaughter too, it's about me having a daughter she knew i wanted so badly. She just loves "her boys" x

atomic sagebrush
March 26th, 2015, 04:23 PM
So sweet!!

I think my dad had some strong GD for a boy (he has 2 girls and lost his own biological father before he was born) and I know was at times disappointed that my half-sister and I are not into more "male" type of activities. He wanted us to go into the military and things like that. I think it's lovely that your family was able to enjoy your boys so much!! Boys are so precious. :heart:

Dana-Alicia
March 26th, 2015, 04:44 PM
Thanks! Lovely to see your posts as well. And Gizmo, I'll send you a load of blue dust :D

Dana-Alicia
March 26th, 2015, 04:52 PM
Oh and by the way, I didn't think my kids were very cute and adorable today! After I wrote this, I went into the bedroom to see what they were doing. And appearently the little gents had gotten hold of ribbon. A lot, lot, lot of ribbon. And they decided they were both spiderman. Now don't laugh. They had literally covered the entire room with the ribbon, from the lamp to the doorknob, to the windowsil and all the way around. Then they moved their 'spiderweb' downstairs. Where they continued in the hallway, all through the livingroom. ALL. THROUGH. THE. LIVINGROOM. It took me ages to get to them, as I got stuck, humming the mission impossible themesong in my head. I wish I had taken a picture, but my phone was upstairs and I couldn't bear another trip back through their glorious spiderweb. Awesome? Yes. Creative? Absolutely. But none of that came to mind when I had to cut my way through their artistic piece just to be able to take a wee. So happy this day is over and we all made it through alive... :bowdown:

Mrs_Incredible
March 26th, 2015, 04:54 PM
lol! It'll make a lovely memory tho :) xx


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kitkat18
March 26th, 2015, 08:56 PM
Gorgeous Dana Alicia!! Such a heart warming story I really love to hear of boy bonds, my boys are also BIG fans of their Nana and she too suffered GD when I was pregnant with both boys they really are the light of her life now!! Xxx

Dana-Alicia
March 27th, 2015, 04:09 AM
it does make a lovely memory, not easy to forget the shiny green ribbon all over the house lol. By the time my husband got home I had cleaned it all up and he was like: wow you look tired, rough day? Naaah ;)

That's great kitkat, grandparents are the best! My parents think it's way more fun to be a grandparent than a parent. Not the hard work, just the fun. Little do they know I am going to ask them to watch my kids for a weekend soon, so DH and I can have some alone time :D

The Anchor
March 27th, 2015, 03:09 PM
I am laughing so hard right now. LOVED your posts, you made my day!

XXforhubby
March 27th, 2015, 03:24 PM
I can't stop laughing! Your boys sound delightful! I have two as well, and they are the light of my life [emoji4].


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Dana-Alicia
March 27th, 2015, 03:50 PM
Always happy to make others laugh at my misery ;) It didn't end though. My youngest just puked all over the bunkbed, top to bottom. I cleaned him and it all up and now he's asleep on the couch. And I havent dressed him yet. What to do, what to do? I think I'm going to postpone it and then regret it later as he'll pee all over the couch. Tea and biscuits anyone? :trips:

PrimalMamma
March 29th, 2015, 03:30 AM
My mother has GD. She loves my boys & is excited about my 3rd son due in 7 weeks but she is terribly jealous of her sister who has a granddaughter AND a grandson. I didn't let on I wanted a daughter & was fiercely protective of my son in utero, sprouting excitement & feigning that I had no GD of my own. I will not allow her to ever know I was disappointed. I don't want her to feel that we are somehow united in "grief". My GD has faded to all but the vaguest wistfulness & she will never know it was there at all.

Dana-Alicia
March 29th, 2015, 03:11 PM
Thats rough primalmama, to have to deal with her GD when you already suffer from it yourself. I understand grandparents having GD but they shouldn't burdon they're kids with it. I do hope you get your daughter one day, but for now I know you'll enjoy your three boys to the fullest <3

kitkat18
March 29th, 2015, 04:46 PM
Primal my mum had TERRIBLE GD with my DS1 and DS2 which really did not help mine, she even told me with DS2 I should have ' tried for a girl' ( which of course was what I was beating myself up for but it did not help to hear it repeated!) This time round she made a super big effort to conceal her GD referring to the scan picture at 13weeks as 'him' and not even asking me if we were finding out so I feel she turned a corner too.
Its a big reminder to us to stay as neutral if we can when we become grandparents, although we will all probably be over sensitive to the whole situation X

Mrs_Incredible
March 30th, 2015, 06:08 PM
My mil had 3 sons and told me once (rare personal conversation!) that she was convinced #3 was a girl and had she not had severe complications during his birth they would have tried again. You would think she would have understood me, but alas, that was not to be ... She was insensitive and made me feel bad for wanting a girl on many occasions


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PrimalMamma
March 31st, 2015, 05:05 AM
Oh that stinks Mrs_Incredible x

Dana-Alicia
March 31st, 2015, 01:11 PM
Jealousy maybe, mrs incredible? Not cool at all...

PrimalMamma
March 31st, 2015, 11:29 PM
My son has GD. He is 6 in 2 weeks. He is now fixed on the idea that we are going to adopt a baby sister after this baby is born. We went shopping for the baby the other day & he found a pile of pink clothes & shoes which he wanted to buy for when we adopt his baby sister. [emoji24] Poor kid x

Claire33
April 1st, 2015, 07:57 AM
So sorry you have DS1's GD to deal with. My DS1 was the same age when I was pregnant with DS3 and he was also disappointed. But he got over it and now he loves his brother so much. DS3 is like the light of the family, always happy, always giving everyone cuddles and making everyone laugh. He is very cute and my DS1 hasn't given his wish for a sister much thought since his initial disappointment. Even now that we are most likely having a DD (still don't believe it though), he doesn't seem to mind if it is indeed another brother. He even said "My little baby brother or sister", as if it doesn't matter to him. So, this too will pass and he will be fine!

Dana-Alicia
April 1st, 2015, 08:13 AM
So sorry your son has Gd Primalmama! I hope your son will feel the same as Claire's son once your third son is born. Big hugs to you, it's not easy.

Mrs_Incredible
April 1st, 2015, 04:29 PM
Sorry to hear that primal, my eldest always wanted a sister. When we had our 12 week scan and it looked like a boy, i told the boys we were having a new baby and it was a boy to announce the pregnancy, so i didn't get his hopes up for tge 3rd time. It's hard but once you have the baby i hope he's too smitten to worry about it. He sounds like he will be a hands on big bro xx

atomic sagebrush
April 2nd, 2015, 07:26 PM
My adult son had GD (not bad, mild) and really wanted a little sister. Then right when we had her, we moved. :/ He said "I feel like I missed everything".

Dana-Alicia
April 3rd, 2015, 05:02 AM
Ah! Does he live nearby? I love the new pic of your daughter btw, such a beauty!

atomic sagebrush
April 6th, 2015, 12:02 PM
Thank you! About 90 minutes away, unfortunately. I got a nice picture of them yesterday though. :)

Claire33
April 9th, 2015, 12:28 PM
Atomic, just wondering if you have told your story on the GD forum on IG a few years ago?

atomic sagebrush
April 9th, 2015, 03:16 PM
Yes probably - kristindoggirl in those days?

Claire33
April 9th, 2015, 04:20 PM
No, this was someone called rather be reading, with an adult son and 4 younger sons and then a daughter. Or do you only have 4 sons?

atomic sagebrush
April 11th, 2015, 01:51 PM
I have 4 sons total, 2 adults, two littlez and then my daughter. :)

I know her though, she and I are FB friends and have a lot in common (perhaps obviously LOL)