Help on when is best to BD using fertility monitor

[HealthyGirl]

I'm currently using CB fertility monitor to pinpoint ovulation better so that hopefully we can catch the egg on 3rd month of TTC while still swaying pink.

I know the monitor will give me 3 high days, 2 peak , 1 high ( H, H, H , P,P, H)
I've read all 600 reviews on Amazon to see if I saw any people bd on 1 or 2 of these days but it seemed as if everyone DTD on most of those days ( not sure of the sex outcomes).
As for myself with my last pregnancy we DTD on most of those days and I conceived our little boy.
My question is if I were to pick 1 day which day is ideal for bd to achieve pregnancy?

My other question is if I chose 2 days which 2 would be ideal and still sway pink a bit?

I know 2 attempts wouldn't be ideal so close but I'm sorta worried like the last 2 months 1 attempt might not cut it.

I was thinking of bd the second high day in the am and doing another attempt on 2nd peak day pm.

[ImmiNAddi]

I don't have any advice for you, but jumping into the thread as I am interested to know also. Good luck HealthyGirl! :)

[True Blue]

Once I had been using my monitor regularly I nearly always ovulated on my second Peak day.
If you are going for one attempt the best days are O-2 & O-1 for conception. If you ovulate on your second peak day then BD the last High day or first Peak day which would give you O-2 or O-1.
I hope that makes sense.

[True Blue]

I think if you go for second Peak day it could be too late. I would try first high & first peak.

[atomic sagebrush]

That is because 99 out of 100 people are using a fertility monitor, well, for fertility. As in, they just want to get pregnant. Hence, they are having intercourse more than just once. :)

For TTC a girl you should BD on the first peak. It is best odds of conception that is easily determined, because while the high day before the peak is also good odds of conception, it doesn't always work out that you GET 3 high days and it is much, much harder to pinpoint than the first peak day is. (more about this below) If you must add in an attempt (and be aware that our success for pink drops between 10-15% with 2 attempts as opposed to one) then yes, the last high day and the first peak day. The problem is that you will not always KNOW when that high is there. Some people only get one high, or two, or get four instead, or even go straight to peak with no highs. Don't panic, just DTD when that first peak shows up. That one is the "money shot" LOL.

[HealthyGirl]

Thanks so much trueblue and atomic for the responses.

Groovynae are you using a monitor as well?

I got my first high today and know for sure I will have 2 other H days before the 2 peak. If bd on my first high and then first peak would the 2 attempts be categorized as 1 attempt or 2?


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[True Blue]

I think if you BD on first high, then first peak you would have BD twice in three days which would be 2 attempts. As Atomic has said above a second attempt drops pink success by 10-15%
Personally I think stick to one BD on your first Peak day and that's perfect :)

I used my monitor for a long time and you can't guarantee the number of highs and peaks you will get. Especially in your attemp month, if there's going to be a surprise that will be the month it will happen.
First Peak is perfect all by itself :)

[HealthyGirl]

I think by bd on first high and first peak the attempts would be 3 days apart.


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[sc1411]

Just sharing: I've never got highs with the monitor just went straight to the peak ones. And if if i had an extra trip to the bathroom the monitor wouldn't peak it up, when the other two different opks were positive and I had all the other signs approaching ovulation. Maybe back it up with smth. GL!

[atomic sagebrush]

well, that's what I'm trying to say - you DON'T know you'll have two high days before peak. Some people are finding that the monitor gives one day or two days or even NO days of high before peak sometimes. Just want you to be prepared for that. What if you get one high and then BD and go to peak the very next day??

2 attempts will be two attempts.

If the attempt is not in your fertile window (or so far out that it has little to no chance of resulting in pg) then that may not count as an attempt. But two attempts in the fertile window is two attempts. 3 days before peak, yeah, that's pretty slim odds, but like we're trying to point out, there is no guarantee that will happen (and this can change even if you've used it in the past and always gotten 3 highs)

[atomic sagebrush]

I think by bd on first high and first peak the attempts would be 3 days apart.


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IF it works that day. It's a huge gamble tho in case of only one high - for ZERO payoff because 3 days before peak will be next to no chance of conception.

[HealthyGirl]

So assuming I do get 3 days of high and I do bd first day of high ( 3 days before peak/ ovulation) and you say chances of conception is low then shouldn't I technically not worry of this attempt of mine at O-3?
It seems as if you are concerned that I might bd at first high and get a peak a lotsooner than I anticipate making the attempts too


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[HealthyGirl]

Close to one another? Is that what you are trying to explain to me?


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[True Blue]

The concern is only that you just can't be sure whether you will get X amount of highs or peaks. I often varied high, low & peak days even though I used my monitor exactly as per instructions. So if you BD at 0-3 and O that is 2 attempts which lowers odds of pink whereas if you only BD once at first Peak you have both higher odds of pink and higher chance of conception.

It's your choice to make really :) just be aware you could have 6 months of L-L-H-H-H-P-P-H-L and the month of your attempt you could get totally different pattern.

[HealthyGirl]

Thanks trueblue


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[atomic sagebrush]

I am honestly at a loss as to where our communication is breaking down here but I feel like you are not getting the jist of the one attempt idea (as per our previous conversation). Please continue to ask until you understand.

One attempt is one attempt THAT CAN GET YOU PREGNANT. It doesn't seem to "count" if you can't get pregnant from it, attempts 2 months ago and 2 weeks ago are not relevant. Only attempts in the fertile window "count" and not all days in the fertile window are created equal in terms of odds of conception. BD that occurs 3,4,5 days before you ovulate, while technically you could possibly get pregnant from those days, the odds are pretty low and swaying reduces those chances still further because your vaginal environment may be more hostile and kill off most/all those swimmers. As a general rule I prefer everyone stick to the one attempt, but every 4 days is getting such good results that it is looking to me like an attempt on O-3/4 is not counting much if at all towards 2 attempts.

What we are trying to avoid (if we can) is having 3 attempts on days when you're quite fertile. Ideally you would stick with one attempt and ONLY one attempt in the entire fertile window, but you do not wish to do that (which is fine). So we're going to add an attempt. Your idea of BD O-3 and then again O-1 is the worst of BOTH worlds. If you really do get the 3 days of H, then P, then O the following day that attempt on O-3 gains you just about diddly squat in terms of upping conception.

My point is, if you're going to add an attempt, and possibly run the risk of lowering your odds of pink, then for goodness sake, make it one that can actually get you pregnant. And if you don't want to do that, if your desire and intention is sticking with one attempt, then don't take then chance that you will only get one H and then P the next day and have 2 attempts in your fertile microwindow. Forget the CBFM and just DTD every 4 days OR have only one attempt at peak, because there is no guarantee that you have 3 H readings before you go to peak. IT doesn't always work that way.

I feel like you're looking for some magical way to both up odds of conception and still maintain the "magic" of one attempt,but there just isn't any way to do that. If you want to add an attempt, ADD ONE when you have a good chance of conception. IF you want to keep with one attempt, don't mess around DTD on H days assuming you will get 3 H days after than, because you may not.

[atomic sagebrush]

The concern is only that you just can't be sure whether you will get X amount of highs or peaks. I often varied high, low & peak days even though I used my monitor exactly as per instructions. So if you BD at 0-3 and O that is 2 attempts which lowers odds of pink whereas if you only BD once at first Peak you have both higher odds of pink and higher chance of conception.

It's your choice to make really :) just be aware you could have 6 months of L-L-H-H-H-P-P-H-L and the month of your attempt you could get totally different pattern.

:agree: and not only is it lower odds of pink, it gains little to nothing for upping odds of conception. If you're going to take the risk of adding an attempt, for the love of criminy, make it one that actually has a decent shot of conception!!!

[HealthyGirl]

I totally understand it now atomic. Thanks so much for clarifying.
I will have ONE attempt at my first peak and will leave it at that for this cycle.


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[HealthyGirl]

One last advice that I need.
Once I get my first peak reading in the morning can I wait till that night to DTD? Or is that possibly late? ( bd in the am of first peak is gonna be pretty impossible).

Also my husband and I have very low sex drive. I know that we haven't bd in the last 3 weeks but not sure if he has done anything like a release.

Is this relevant to the sperm quality? Do I need to bring it him up to him and ask what he's done before our attempt?
Or should I go in it blindly and not even care.


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[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: you can wait til that night.

Abstaining a long time is never advisable, I would prefer all guys release at least once a week and any guy over 35 I prefer reg. release every 2-4 days to keep the swimmers fresh.

BD after a 3 week abstain may very well make getting pg totally unlikely. So that may have something to do with why you did not get pg yet.

[HealthyGirl]

So I asked him how long he's abstained he said a long time.
Not sure if he has released on his own in the 3 weeks and I know if I ask him he will roll his eyes and get upset with me.

So I got a smiley face on my clear blue digital today ( not monitor) and my monitor showed a high day today.
Should I bd once protected tonight assuming me we will do the actual DTD unprotected tomorrow night??
I know I can't ask him to release. He won't appreciate it. My husband can be weird when it comes to this kind of stuff.
Sorry if this is TMI.



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[True Blue]

I think that sounds like a good idea HealthyGirl :)

[True Blue]

There is no TMI here ;) we are all looking for the same help/advice.

[atomic sagebrush]

It is up to you, in my opinion it will lower odds of conception without gaining you much in the way of healthy sperm tho because with abstain it suppresses production by quite a bit and may harm the sperm that are in formation. So just one release doesn't really get you a whole lot.

[atomic sagebrush]

There is no TMI here ;) we are all looking for the same help/advice.

:agree: This is a TMI-Free zone. :)

[HealthyGirl]

So glad I listened to you guys.

My CB monitor only gave me 2 High days and I finally got my first peak this morning.
I went based on my wondfo opk ( line was darker than control) and I got a smiley on the clearblue test.
So we bd on the last high day ( very close to first peak day).
I am 100% sure Timing was excellent. I just have doubts now since don't know if DH has released on his own or not and how long he's abstained.

Atomic if he's abstained for a while does it lower conception by a lot? What does it exactly do to the sperm?
I just don't see how he's abstained for 2-3 weeks. Never thought men could go that long without releasing.


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[atomic sagebrush]

I have a full explanation here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/10156-jellybean-factory-%96-understanding-sperm-count-frequency.html