The Price I Paid for my Baby Girl

[retialla]

I was in the process of starting my LE sway to conceive a girl when DH foiled everything and I got pregnant after only a few weeks of basically no meat or vitamins. I also was taking Benadryl to help regulate my sleep cycle because I worked 3 nights a week at the time and also ate meals at random times due to work. That's my "sway" in a nutshell.

So my third pregnancy appeared to be going smoothly. I had a normal ultrasound around 10 weeks gestation and baby looked great. Two days later, after a busy night shift and pushing very hard on a large patient who refused to turn so that he could be changed, I came home and went to sleep. I felt a little crampy but figured it was GI related. I woke up maybe an hour later and went to the bathroom. I was shocked to see a lot of bright red blood in the toilet. I had never experienced any bleeding with any past pregnancy. I had never been so scared in my life. I thought I was having a miscarriage.

I called my husband and he was luckily off work and took me to the local ER. There they did an ultrasound and diagnosed a large subchorionic hematoma (SCH). I was sent home on bedrest. I spent about a week on bedrest then went to the OB office. The bleeding had stopped at that point but the SCH was still there, ever so large and ominous-looking. My regular OB wasn't there but another doctor at the practice basically told me it was perfectly fine to go back to a high stress job where you are on your feet all night, lifting, etc. Soon after I felt I had no choice but to go back to work. I didn't want to lose my job.

The bleeding started again though so finally my doctor put me on modified bedrest until 2 weeks of no bleeding. The bleeding eventually stopped and I went back to work, feeling again that I had no choice. I continued to insist on frequent ultrasounds, but the SCH really didn't change much, it got a little smaller and was pronounced by the doctors as "stable." I found out at 14 weeks that were were having a little girl after two boys, so I was thrilled.

I had my 20 week anatomy u/s and my baby was perfect, but the SCH was still there, as large as ever. I noticed a small piece of my placenta was "flapping" around on the u/s and questioned this but was dismissed by the doctor. My OB told me no further u/s were needed unless the bleeding started again. They did not consider my pregnancy high risk or that bedrest was necessary.

After a month of almost no bleeding, I was starting to actually feel positive about my pregnancy. I thought the hematoma and I were at a draw, that it was a live and let live situation, and things would go okay. That I would have my daughter on April Fool's Day, a few weeks before my due date like my sons, and she would weigh 7 lb, 5 oz.

But alas, my hopes and dreams were shattered at 23 weeks. I feared the 23rd week of pregnancy more than any other. "This is my nightmare week" I told my husband and mom. The edge of viability. I knew a lot about micropreemies and they were my biggest pregnancy fear. It was a big medical ethical dilemma to me on the right course of action.

I was walking a lot more at work. At 23 weeks, 2 days I woke up a few hours after work with more bright red bleeding. I was very upset, but told myself it was just the hematoma acting up again. My baby wasn't really moving either. My husband came home with our son and he insisted on taking me to a hospital 5 minutes from our house. He is friends with one of the doctors there so he called him and we were admitted emergently to L&D.

The bleeding had slowed down and my baby looked great on the monitor. I figured we'd be sent home. They called in a high risk OB to do an ultrasound and we waited until that evening for her to arrive. She did not tell us what we had hoped to hear. The hematoma had caused a chronic abruption of my placenta (as I had seen at my 20 week u/s). Likely there was new bleeding. I also had a fist sized clot right on top of my cervix that needed to pass and could possibly cause my water to break or preterm labor at any time.

They wanted to keep me there for at least a few weeks. I was to get the first injection of steroids the next morning. "It sounds like the doctor is leaning towards resuscitation," I was told. A lot of the L&D nurses did not like taking care of a woman in her 23rd week of pregnancy. The baby wasn't quite considered viable.

The weekend on-call doctor strongly discouraged intervention if my baby could no longer tolerate things. I was told I would likely need a classical c-section and that my baby would mostly likely die. I had a consult with neonatology but didn't feel like it was particularly helpful. The hospital did had a level III NICU that could take 23 weekers. But it was up to the parents whether or not to resuscitate a 23 or 24 week baby. At 25 weeks, they would save them regardless of the parents' wishes.

Thankfully we made it through that terrible weekend with minimal bleeding. I told the next doctor I wanted full interventions, including an emergency c-section, if my baby became distressed. "That's the whole point of me being here." He enthusiastically agreed.

So began a week of frequent fetal monitoring and pain, bleeding, and contractions. I had several episodes of pain and bleeding, sometimes contractions and the episodes seemed to be worsening. The bleeding eventually became almost constant. The doctors wanted to keep me there at least until the large clot over my cervix passed. A week later, I had another u/s and the doctor was encouraging, saying that is seemed like the clot was smaller. But they couldn't tell me whether or not there was any new bleeding from the abruption, but it was likely.

I was stuck on hospital bedrest and strongly discouraged from even taking a shower every day. I tried my best to drink a lot of water but then I'd have to get up and go to the bathroom every 15 minutes.

The bleeding started to look more red and fresh. But we had made it to the 24th week and suddenly I was taken a lot more seriously by the doctors and nurses. I was told every hour I could keep her inside counted right now.

On December 29th, at 24+5, I started having pain and what felt like contractions. Since my baby was so small, they could never position the monitors properly to pick up both her HR and my contractions. But the pain wasn't stopping and I insisted that they put the monitor back on. Every time I had pain, I saw her heartrate crash down then slowly recover. Deep variable decels with slow recovery was what they called them. I was telling myself maybe the monitor just keep losing her for a second, that it couldn't really be her heartrate tracing...

Of course, the room quickly filled with nurses and the on-call doctor. It's never a good sign when a lot of nurses come into your room. They started a bolus of fluid and put oxygen on me. No help. I was only 1cm dilated despite all of this. Either my body was trying to go into labor and my baby, being so small, could not tolerate it, or the abruption was worsening. Either way, to save her, it was stat c-section.

I was terrified, of both major surgery, and a micropreemie who might die. They wheeled me into the OR in tears. There was time to do a spinal. My husband, who I had called a little earlier, arrived only moments before the pulled her out. She cried when she came out and was immediately swarmed by the NICU delivery team, who intubated her and took her away although they let me have a peek at her on their way out. She weighed only 800g (1 lb, 12 oz).

The doctor gave me the bad news that she had to perform a classical c-section because my baby was so preterm and her head was engaged, making it difficult to deliver her. Recovery from the c-section was very difficult after two easy vaginal deliveries, but I pushed myself and things got better after the first week.

I went to see one of the perinatologists who had visited me in the hospital about 1 month postpartum. I insisted on a placental abruption workup to see if I had any clotting problems, although I know I'm more of a bleeder. The tests were thankfully negative. He told me I had a 1 in 8 chance of having another abruption with future pregnancies. I told him 2 out of my 3 pregnancies had SCH and he said there wasn't much research but that like most things in medicine, they tend to keep happening if you've had one or two. He said if I had another pregnancy, they'd be happy to follow me and do a lot of monitoring if nothing else but to put my mind at ease.

I asked him what he would have recommended for a patient at 20 weeks that came in for their u/s and it appeared that part of the placenta was detached/abrupted. He said bedrest but then backtracked when he realized why I had asked and said of course that likely wouldn't have prevented what had happened to me. But maybe, if the regular OBs had taken things seriously sooner, the pregnancy could have lasted longer? It's a question that can't be answered, a big "what if" that haunts me.

My daughter is the one who really suffered from all of this. She was on the vent for 7 weeks (a month of which on the oscillator) and had severe lung damage from the ventilator, that nearly killed her. I didn't even get to hold her until she was 6 weeks old. She had other bumps in her road, but she pulled through and is hopefully coming home in the next few weeks. She has chronic lung disease so she still on a little oxygen and has mild retinopathy. But she avoided things like brain bleeds, NEC, etc. Whatever road lies ahead of us, she is a wonderful blessing. Thank you GD for this wonderful baby girl, she is the apple of my eye.

[trifecta]

Wow, you went through a lot! I'm so glad your daughter is alive and has avoided some of the worst consequences of prematurity. I had a partial abruption with my DS and it took over a month to stop bleeding. I felt like I was in limbo the entire time, unable to really hope or believe my pregnancy would last. I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to be in limbo for such a long time and with such an active job. Take good care of yourself--I hope you have been checked for anemia after such a difficult pregnancy and birth! And congratulations on your daughter!

[Sarah4girl]

Oh wow. Thank you for sharing your story. You sure have been through a lot to get your daughter. I wish you all the best for the road ahead xx


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[Kittybear]

Oh my goodness, you and your daughter have been through a massive journey together, however she certainly sounds like a fighter just like her mummy! May you both continue to get stronger and fitter and I hope she can come home soon xxx

[Junie]

You and your daughter have been through such a journey. You and your daughter are so strong! Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you all the best in the coming days ahead :)

[foxymrsg]

My goodness poor you and your poor daughter, im glad she's on the road to refinery and I wish you all a happy and healthy future xx

[Summerstown]

My goodness you have been through so much. She is so lucky to have a mummy like you questioned the treatment you were getting. I hope you have a very happy & healthy future together xx

[tweedledeedum]

Wow , you have sure been through a lot. What an incredible journey. All the best to you and your family!

[atomic sagebrush]

Huge congrats on your baby girl and I am so happy the story had a happy ending! I was literally holding my breath as I read it!!

[XXforhubby]

I'm so glad that you and your daughter are through all of this! What an inspiration you two are. I wish you and your family the best!


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[retialla]

Thank you everyone, your support means a lot to me :awe::awe::awe: I don't post here often but this is a truly wonderful community that I am very grateful for!

I know my story is kind of scary but I wanted to share it. I don't believe any of it was caused by my sway (which was very light to begin with). But I am considering one more child in the next few years and debating whether or not to sway girl again so my daughter can possibly have a sister versus maximizing my health but taking vitamins, eating well, etc. I would never want to put another child through what my daughter went through, she has paid the ultimate price and it nearly cost her her life. It is still very hard to see how much she struggles with very basic baby things like breathing and eating just because of her extreme prematurity.

And thankfully my physical health remained pretty good throughout the whole ordeal surprisingly enough since abruptions are often very dangerous for the mother as we all know! I was slightly anemic while hospitalized but considering how much bleeding I seemed to be having, it never got that bad. I was very lucky it was managed well. My last physical was about a month ago and all of my labs were perfect. The classical c-section is a major bummer for me though since it means the next baby must be delivered by c-section since the risk of uterine rupture is too high for most OBs to consider a VBAC.

I am a nurse and now thinking about switching specialties to NICU (possibly at the same NICU my daughter is at, since I've grown so fond of it and the staff). Maybe I can help better support other NICU parents since I can emphasize with their struggles. Perhaps there is a silver lining after all.

[Claire33]

Wow, what a story! I was relieved to read that she survived, I was half expecting the story to end in tragedy. I'm sorry your baby has had side effects from her permature birth. How will her eye sight be, do they have any idea? And her prospects of the lung disease? I can imagine that the classical c-section was hard. Will they have to cut in the same incision again? I've had both vaginal birth and c-section (transverse). Recovering after a c-section is no walk in the park, so I support you on that. But I also have to have another now, so I'm dreading it already.

I'm so glad that both you and your daughter survived this ordeal, and hope that any future pregnancies will be without complications.

[retialla]

Thanks Claire! I also dread the thought of another c-section. I think I have one more in me, but will probably close up shop after that! As far as I know, they would do a transverse if it was just scheduled full-term c-section. The doctors have said no labor at all but also that they can't schedule a c-section usually before 38 weeks, even though they know I had my boys in the 37th week and would likely go into labor on my own before 38 weeks. I guess if I have another we'll figure it out.

Thank you for asking about my daughter. She is coming home on a small amount of oxygen and monitor and will be followed by a pediatric pulmonologist. Hopefully she will be able to wean off it soon after she gets home. It is depressing to watch her often pant and head bob, she looks like she is constantly in respiratory distress, but they say it's her normal and she seems to tolerate it. She is not able to wake up and take all of her feedings so I've asked to bring her home with a feeding tube. Hopefully she can start to wake up more and take all of her feeds so we can get rid of it too. It is a lot of work for her to eat and she often has to stop and catch her breath. She only has Stage 1 Retinopathy of Prematurity, which is pretty good considering that she was on 100% oxygen for so long. Since it hasn't progressed beyond Stage 1, I'm hoping at her next exam it will start to regress and not cause her any problems. They are very aggressive about treating retinopathy if it progresses though, but for now they're just watching it.

Can you not try for a VBAC after a transverse? Are you going HT to get your baby girl or are you already expecting? I hope you get your baby girl!

[Claire33]

I'm glad you are a nurse you you know exactly how to take care of her! She is in the best of hands with her mommy :) I'm glad to hear that she might not have any long term effects of her premature birth. A proper miracle baby!

I've already had 2 c-sections, and I hated them both with a passion, but it means no VBAC for me unfortunately. I guess that if you ever get pregnant again, you would have to go to hospital at even the slightest sign of labor.

I was going to go HT this summer, but ended up pregnant by accident...:worry: My 13 week scan tech said girl, but I'll only believe it properly at my 20 week scan!

[retialla]

Congrats! Sounds like it may have unexpectedly worked out for the best. I really hope for you that it is a girl!!! I also did not intend to get pregnant with my girl, I was planning to wait a few more months to try.

My baby's nub looked girly at 11 and 12 weeks and at 14 the tech did a potty shot and said 95% girl, but I didn't really tell anyone until after if was confirmed by the 20 week scan. And of course my last two ultrasounds in the hospital I insisted that the OBs reconfirm it was a girl and I really had to see her for myself after birth to say 100% it's a girl! I had to see it to believe it. But what's weird is the first time I saw her at my 10 week ultrasound, way too early to tell, the first thought I had was "it's a girl." But I told myself I was crazy.

When you're a boy mom, everyone expects another boy it seems like. I expected to have another boy myself. I feel like I'm meant to be a three boy mom so if I have another I'm sure it'll be a boy, which would be fine, there is only room for one princess in my house. I'm sure you're dealing with a lot of comments right now being a 3 boy mom expecting a fourth.

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

What a story - I hope you'll post photos as soon as you can [emoji171] im so happy she's alive and is coming home soon.


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[luvmyfam]

Aww! Congrats on your baby girl! It sounds like she is doing very well. I am a NICU nurse and you sound like such a pro and an awesome mommy!

[Mrs_Incredible]

Huge hugs. Read that with a lump in my throat. Little fighter you have there. Congratulations xx

[retialla]

Sorry for the delay friends! Been a bit busy around here. I am still working 2 nights a week as I couldn't take any more time off work, but at least I'm part time now. My husband is also able to take a month of paternity leave, then we'll try to work around each other's schedules if possible.

My baby girl finally came home a week ago! She stayed in the NICU a few weeks past her due date (for a total of 129 days there.) She had a few bumps in the road before she could be discharged. She was too sleepy to wake up to take all of her feeds by mouth, so they weren't letting her come home. When I realized she just wasn't quite getting it, I insisted that they let me bring her home with an NG tube (feeding tube that goes in through her nose.) So now she's home on a small amount of oxygen and also gets about 6 hours of tube feeding a night. She sleeps through the night like an older baby, but her little body still needs her to wake up constantly to feed like a newborn, so the tube feeds are a necessary evil right now. Weight gain is an issue too since she has to work a lot harder to breathe, and expends more calories. She was 8 lb, 2oz at her first pediatrician visit last week and I'm hoping she's gained more since then! I'm used to her being weighed on a fancy hospital scale every night so a week without weights is a bit disconcerting for me! Some good news is that her retinopathy regressed so she isn't seeing the ophthalmologist for 6 months since he said her eyes were "normal" at her last check up!

My baby girl seems like a typical baby so far. Doesn't seem phased by her 4 month NICU stay. She gets fussy at night and wants to cluster feed. She wants to be held all the time during the day and I don't blame her one bit! I let her nurse some and I'm still pumping. She's very gassy and has constipation issues from the fortifier they want us to add to her breastmilk, but that's been an ongoing issue. It is annoying dragging around oxygen tubing but also comforting to have her on a monitor, especially at night when she is sleeping. The tube feeds and gavages aren't bad. It is all basic nursing care that anyone could do. My husband is a paramedic so he picked all this up very fast and I also like that I have a medic here 24/7 for emergencies.

So she is one month adjusted today (4.5 actual) and doing well. Her brothers are nice to her so far. My biggest fear is that they will get her sick, and a little cold could send her back to the hospital. She is a bit twitchy so I worry about neuro issues that may pop up in the future, like cerebral palsy, but it's too early to tell at this point. We can only wait and see, but so far so good. I would never wish this on anyone, but it has taught me patience and to cherish this short time I have with her as a baby.

I like to show one of my most (but not worst) shocking photo of her. Sorry if it upsets anyone, but I think it kind of gives a good idea of what a 24 weeker really looks like!

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[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

She's a little miracle [emoji173]️ bless her heart. Bless you too mama.


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[Dana-Alicia]

Oh she is so gorgeous and look at all that hair! :HH: So relieved to see she pulled through, what a difficult time it has been and still is. Wishing you all the best mama, you did so well. Take good care of yourself, you've been through a lot. :hug2:

[kitkat18]

Wow she is just gorgeous! She could not be in better hands lucky your DH is a paramedic that must give you such peace of mind. What a fantastic mother you are, I am sure she will keep stacking on the weight and have her tubes out soon sending you lots of love Xxxx

[Mrs_Incredible]

Thank you for sharing. She is beautiful. And in very good hands with you as her parents xx

[retialla]

Thanks ladies! I hope we can get rid of the tubes soon too. Yes, it is nice that my husband is used to dealing with emergencies on a regular basis and has had the unfortunate experience of coding babies and children. Of course, he knows the most important thing to do is to call 911 in the event of any emergency, as our resources at home are quite limited.

Everyone expected me to have another boy. I feel like most moms I know with 2 boys who had a third had another boy. I was okay with another boy although my ideal has always been 2 boys then a girl.

My favorite aunt, who has 2 daughters (one who has a PP then another girl) told me she doubted I would be lucky enough to have a girl after 2 boys. My husband has 2 brothers and his mom's sister had 4 boys. My mom has 4 brothers and 1 sister and they all had 2-3 kids of the same gender except my aunt who had a girl after 3 boys. I feel like the odds were against me. And then we almost lost her. My heart breaks for the babies we saw in the NICU who didn't make it.

I feel like we got a lot more attention from people for having a girl. Maybe because of how early she was born, but part of me thinks some of it was because she is a girl. It makes me sad for baby boys, they are so wonderful!

[atomic sagebrush]

What a fighter!! She is adorable!!

[Kittybear]

Thank you for updating and the photos. She is gorgeous and a fighter! I hope she continues growing well and improving everyday xxx

[Junie]

She is beautiful! Thanks so much for updating!!

[retialla]

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She has done well so far at home! She decided to pull her feeding tube early in the morning today so we are giving her a chance without it. Finally a pic without all the nasty tape on her face. She's gained over a pound since coming home. Even nurses a bit. And has moved out of newborn size. I'll update again when she's older.

[mommymachine]

Wow! What a beautiful little fighter! I don't think anyone could tell from that picture that she is a 24 weeker!!! Well done!

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

[emoji173]️


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[qbswzz]

thanks for sharing

[Dancin Machine]

Wow, what a story! I thought at any moment through the whole story you were going to say you lost her so I am so glad she is still with you and thriving! I'm so sorry for all you and she had to go through and that the doctors didn't put you on bedrest sooner. I just had my daughter after two boys too and she is a miracle. Sounds like you got a great big miracle!!!

[retialla]

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Here is my little girl now. We have weaned down her oxygen and she just started going without it during the day. She's 7 months old now (like a 3.5 month old.) only 11.5lb and still isn't much of an eater. She has a laundry list of medical issues but she's a very happy, social baby. Loves being around people and getting out and about so it is a shame I can't take her out as much as she would like. She really enjoys life despite all the torture she had to endure to survive.

[retialla]

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Yummy, oxygen tubing!

[twointow83]

Wow! You had quite the winding, bumpy road. She is so precious :awe: Congrats momma and prayers her health continues to improve as she gets older. :hug2:

[trifecta]

She's just adorable! What a beautiful, happy baby!

[Kittybear]

Gorgeous :) thank you for the photos x

[True Blue]

Such chubby cuteness :HH: adorably delicious !!

[Am3a]

She's gorgeous! [emoji175]

[kitkat18]

She is a darling socialite! Must be so wonderful to have the tubes out during the day XXX

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh what a little snugglebug!! how precious!!!

[Mrs_Incredible]

She is so precious and utterly gorgeous, what a smile!! Xx

[retialla]

Hi Ladies - It has been a long time since I have updated on my daughter. She just turned one at the very end of 2015. Right now her adjusted age is 9 months and she is meeting all of her developmental milestones for the most part. She has been crawling for the past 2 months. :crawl: She keeps me pretty busy as she has lots of doctor appointments and also therapies (occupational and speech) three times a week.

Her weight gain is okay, she now weighs 15 lbs, 10 oz and her doctor was happy to tell me she is finally on a growth curve for her actual age (1 year) even though it's just like the 3rd percentile. She is a small baby regardless. She loves solid food and wants to eat everything we are eating. Out of all my babies, she shows the most love of solid food at this age. So we are hoping as she takes in more solids and less formula, she will no longer need night tube feedings and hopefully can get rid of her g button. :fingers:

Unfortunately, in mid-December she was hit very hard with severe bronchiolitis, an infection that affects the small airways of the lungs, usually caused by viruses like RSV. She became very ill and had to be hospitalized. She spent a week in the PICU and had to be put back on the ventilator for 4 days. It was very hard to relive that experience since she spent so long on a ventilator in the NICU. They could not keep her comfortable or sedated at all. They had her paralyzed for the first few days and once they stopped the paralytic, they realized she had not been sedated properly. So she was awake with a breathing tube down her throat and paralyzed for about 2 days. After that, even with 4 different drips and lots of "boluses", they could not keep her sedated. It was hard. My husband and I took turns staying with her, since one of us had to be with the boys, but one of us was always there at her side. They took great care of her there!

She made it through and bounced back quickly. I had to take her home on a methadone wean (ugh) but she did get her first tooth at the hospital! We saw it for the first time when they removed the breathing tube. Unfortunately, this hospitalization really negatively affected her sense of security. She wants to be held a lot more. She has pretty strong stranger anxiety although she does warm up to people after awhile. We learned how poor her lungs really are and how little reserve she has. Her pulmonologist (lung doctor) says she has to make it through this winter, but next winter she should be much stronger.

After she came home from the hospital, she would no longer sleep in her own bed and frequently wakes up at night, crying in terror and otherwise is just very restless. She failed her sleep study in November so we still need oxygen at night. It is not easy co-sleeping with an infant on oxygen, a monitor, and tube feedings.

Because of her very poor lungs and what happened in December, she is now totally grounded for the whole winter. I don't take her anywhere, except to doctor appointments and sometimes the park since we're having a warm winter. Her brothers still bring all kinds of junk home from school though! I've basically put my career on hold to take care of her right now because I know how much she needs her mama. I wish we could go places though.

Anyway, her list of diagnoses are currently: bronchopulmonary dysplasia (chronic lung disease of prematurity), RAD/asthma, central sleep apnea, oropharyngeal dysphagia (swallowing difficulty), feeding difficulties, GERD (reflux) - hoping she can outgrow all of these! She's such an amazing, tenacious child with a crazy will to survive despite the odds.

Here are some pictures:

On the ventilator AGAIN:
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In the hospital:
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First birthday
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First Christmas
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At the park
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Playing:
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With her brothers
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Baby in a bucket
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[purple]

She is a cutie and so are your boys :)

Sorry you have had such a tough time, the hospitalisation sounds like a very traumatic experience. I hope she can stay healthy and away from hospital now.

[maidentomother]

You have beautiful children! I pray your DD's health improves, I can SEE that she is a fighter and I really think she will overcome these obstacles.

[kitkat18]

Gosh my heart goes out to you, your family and your little girl! Thanks so much for the update and pics she sure does look like a fighter! Its wonderful to see her looking just like a happy healthy one year old after her rough start. Sending positive energy that she has an illness free rest of your winter Xxx

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[retialla]

Thank you ladies, 2015 was a truly awful year all around for our family health-wise, but hoping 2016 will be better! A lot of these babies never make it out of the NICU :Angel: and it is heartbreaking, so we are very lucky. But I feel like a lot of the stories you hear about such tiny babies that survived make it seem like they grow up and are perfectly healthy, and that's not always the case. Far from it. Some of the effects aren't even seen until they're older (like learning disabilities, ADHD, etc.) Her doctors/therapists think she is doing great overall for being a 24 weeker, so that is nice to hear. Only time will tell what will happen but I'll never regret our decision to intervene and give her a chance. she is very happy to be here despite everything she has been through! GD is the only public place on the internet I've really shared her story and pictures like this because it is such a wonderful, welcoming place! :HH::awe::HH:

[TaytumJ]

Oh my word - that pic of her at Christmas!! [emoji7][emoji7]She's absolutely beautiful (as are your boys!). Praying 2016 is an immensely healthy year for you guys - what a little fighter! [emoji177][emoji177]


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[Dreamsister]

What a story. Thanks for sharing. You are so brave. Bless you and your little miracle.


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[fknonl1ne]

Wow!! She's beautiful!! She's a fighter and sounds like she has a matching mama to fight for and with her. Keep up the courage, girl. Much grace to you. I pray 2016 brings much joy and rewards to erase the pains of 2015

[TRL]

Thanks for sharing. You have had a tough year. Hang in there, keep fighting for her. She was meant to be, and she is a tough little girl. I have a friend who had her DD at 25 weeks. She is now 8 and taller than her brother who is 9. Does everything normally. I pray you get to that point and it gets easier. Your boys are adorable, she is a lucky little girl to have 2 big brothers.

[covered in blue]

What an amazing story and special little girl! I hope her health continues to improve xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you for sharing your story, I hope and pray that this winter ends SOON and your gorgeous girl keeps growing stronger and stronger. :heart:

[retialla]

Well, I'll update again in case anyone is still interested. My daughter is now 18 months actual/14 months adjusted. We had a very challenging and exhausting winter where she was hit by respiratory infection after respiratory infection - every 3 to 4 weeks she would get sick and it would often go into the lungs and become bronchiolitis. And this winter is not like a typical winter, basically for the entire school year she is sick. When she's sick it's not like a typical baby, rather it requires a boatload of interventions to keep her out of the hospital - oxygen, 'round the clock breathing treatments, oral steroids, home suction, etc. It has been exhausting to say the least. I was able to keep her out of the hospital since December, but then she got too sick again in May and had to go back to the hospital, this time only for 2 days luckily. I have learned the hard way, so I know exactly when all my home interventions aren't enough and I need to take her in.

Otherwise, I finally took her off all supplementary oxygen once she recovered from her May infection. Mostly because she wouldn't keep the cannula on anyway and always pulled it off every night, so there was no point in even trying. She is still getting Speech Therapy twice a week and sees a nutritionist once a month. I finally got her off night tube feedings as well, but she only weighs 19 lbs and may have lost some since I stopped them, so I don't know what the next step is. We have tried an appetite stimulant but it was causing hyperactivity and behavioral issues so I didn't want to restart it, but we may have to try it again if she loses weight.

She and her brother both got the same surgeries, adenoids removed and ear tubes last week and it went great. Hopefully no more ear infections! But she is still a terrible sleeper and will last maybe 1 hour in her bed before coming to ours. And she tosses and turns all night and is so agitated. I don't know how to help her and it's very frustrating.

Anyway, on a positive note she is meeting all of her other milestones. Started walking at 12 months adjusted. Climbing and getting into everything, just like a typical toddler. She has maybe 15 words and some 2 word phrases like "thank you." I'd say she is different than my boys at this age in that she is so much more intuitive, social, and sensitive. She also has a favorite stuffed animal (they have never been attached to anything in particular) and gives lots of kisses. She is a much better mimic and more talkative than they were as young toddlers. It's interesting to see the differences. And she just loves her big brothers.

And we are expecting baby #4! I decided I wanted one more and DH was just along for the the ride. I thought it might take more time to conceive now that I'm in my 30s, but it happened right away. I am 25 weeks and there are zero problems with my pregnancy and I'm not really at any higher risk of another preemie than anyone else. I quit my strenuous job and work an easier, non-labor intensive one for the meantime. I am able to work out and be active. We decided to not find out the gender of this one, not even the doctor knows! The sonographer checked (I made DH leave the room so he wouldn't cheat and peek) and confirmed the baby looked like a normal girl/boy but didn't put it the report and told me she herself would forget within 30 minutes. So no one really knows! But I'm going to guess another boy. Always thought I'd have 3 boys. Still think I'm a boy mom. Another girl would be nice though, I think my daughter would like having a sister.

I have to deliver at 37 weeks so not too much longer until we find out. I don't really have a preference either way as I've been very lucky. I just want a healthy, full term baby. And this is our last baby and I'm so ready to have my body back and get my career back on track!

Here are some random photos:

Getting surgery with big brother.
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First summer in the pool!
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Giving Kitty water.
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Too healthy to be in the hospital!
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[TRL]

So happy to hear she is doing good. I'm assuming she had reflux and I know a ton of other things. Is she still on reflux meds? If not maybe start them up again and see if it helps her night time sleeping and recurring infections. I know it sounds strange but usually always related to reflux.

Congrats on your pregnancy. Hope everything goes perfect with your delivery.

[kpmum]

Amazing story. Glad to hear u got a happy ending. Your daughter is just adorable. Fantastic update too. All the best for u and ur family xxx

[Pink Pony]

Your daughter is gorgeous and a real little fighter for life :), wishing u everything of the best for your new bundle of joy when he or she arrives.

[trifecta]

Glad she's doing well! Don't chalk up all those differences to sex, though, please. My boys were both early talkers and very sociable. There are plenty of empathetic men and unempathetic women. She's definitely a cutie--enjoy!

[Kittybear]

Thank you for the update; what a cutie pie your little girl is! :)

Congrats on your pregnancy as well!! X

[atomic sagebrush]

What a sweetheart!! Wishing you the best in everything and that this is the end of the hard times. :heart:

[TaytumJ]

She's so adorable!! She looks happy and her giving kitty water is the sweetest![emoji171]

Congrats on your pregnancy and I'll be anxious to know if it's a boy or a girl!

[fknonl1ne]

I remember your courageous story and daughter! Thanks for updating us. Huge congrats on the new one coming. We'll be eager to know boy or girl. Something tells me it's a girl and I've been known to be both right and wrong before😀.
Here is to wish you a smooth sailing pregnancy!!

[A Mad Swayentist]

This story and thread is so incredible. Your daughter is so cute! I'm wishing you a healthy and peaceful "team green" pregnancy.

[Dreamsister]

Your daughter looks so cute and with a twingle in her eyes. Huge congrats with your new baby.


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) [emoji173] DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) [emoji1326] DH (38) [emoji144] TTC'ing pink from May 2016

[foxymrsg]

She's beautiful congratulations! What a trooper she is!! Xx

[Babygirlquest]

She is absolutely amazing! What a miracle! Wishing you all the best for your new baby :-)

[retialla]

I love this place even though I don't visit as often as I would like! It's the only place online I really feel comfortable sharing her story. She is still doing well, perhaps it is because her brothers have been out of school all summer. We have been respiratory illness free for over 4 months now! It has been wonderful, but school is back in full swing so it's just a matter of time. She is much stronger at the start of this sick season though.

We have been off tube feedings since June and had a few months of stall in weight gain but last month she finally gained! So hoping the trend will continue but still probably isn't eating enough compared to her insane activity level.

I was lucky this time, had a good, uneventful and complication-free pregnancy. I was able to keep active after my kids and work out up until the day before my delivery. Had to deliver 3 weeks early but the experience was like night and day. Of course, I would have preferred a VBAC but there are no OBs around here that would support that. Still a scheduled term c-section is like Disneyland compared to the nightmare at 24 weeks.

It was so worth it to wait. I was convinced boy and had my name set and everything. My husband refused to entertain the thought of another boy and insisted it was a girl. My mom wanted another girl. We were very strict about not finding out despite having like 5 ultrasounds... I was very proud of DH for being able to wait! Never it a million years did I think he would be patient enough. He was only able to attend the 20 week scan though and I made him leave the room when the tech checked so there was no way he could peek! We had our one year old there anyway so he was busy wrangling her.

Anyway, I told my new OB I had no expectations for this delivery. Honestly, my standards were so low that unless one of us died or ended up in the ICU, it could not possibly be worse than my last experience. :worry: I know that sounds bad and melodramatic but I didn't mean to be, just that I was so happy to have made it so far I wasn't picky about details. I've had my unmedicated birth with DS#2 and it was wonderful and everything I had hoped for. So at least one of out four of my deliveries had gone exactly how I had hoped. There are many women out there who never get the birth experience they hope for, so who am I to complain?

I told DH we should play Enya/Enigma on repeat in the OR so they'd hate us. Haha of course we didn't do that. But I had no real requests. There was still a very small (like 2% chance) of the baby needing the special care nursery/NICU for being delivered at 37 weeks by c-section. But I believed it would be okay since both of my boys came on their own accord at 37 weeks, one at the end the other at the beginning. I was hoping I wouldn't go into labor before then.

So we made it to the date and I told the OB I was fine with him announcing the gender (no one knew including him.) And I was sooo shocked :omg: when he announced "IT'S A GIRL!" my first response was, "Are you sure?!?!" :suprise: Of course DH was none the least surprised. I mean I had been dreaming I was having a boy. My intuition obviously sucks! I highly, highly recommend waiting until delivery. So worth the wait! Much more exciting than finding out during the ultrasound.

She came out so angry, I was a little worried. I've never had one cry so much. 9/9 APGARS and 7lb 3oz (good size for 3 weeks early.) She was perfect! And as soon as she was able to breastfeed, she has been the happiest little baby who never really cries... so far. Too early to tell since she's not even 2 weeks old. It's exhausting of course and not easy, but her needs are simple at least. And it is just awesome having a medically-boring term newborn, it is something you don't take for granted when you've had a micropreemie. She is already close to regaining her birth weight and is eating well. I am sure she'll outweigh her sister within a year. They are 17 months (adjusted) apart.

So I'm kind of shocked I ended up with what feels like the perfect 1950s family... two boys and two girls each less than 2 years apart. I hope they'll be friends but it's hard to say. I didn't sway at all for this one but was under a lot of stress when we conceived. So who knows. But we are done... quit while you're ahead. Four is perfect for us, regardless of the gender.

Thank you everyone for following our story. I hope you all get the families that you've dreamed of!

Hanging out at the park
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Little sister & big sister
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Little sister with her long fingers
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[GirlieCat]

What a beautiful ending to this amazing journey you have been on. Your daughters are so cute. So happy your premie is healthy and that your new baby girl was an easy pregnancy and birth. Your story is inspirational and beautiful. So happy for you and your family.

[purple]

Aww congratulations! Glad everything is going well for your family after everything you have been through.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh gosh what a beautiful end (beginning)!! I am so happy for you Retalia!!! :) Hugest hugs and wishing you a disease free winter for everyone to get settled in!