Why!!

[djmommy]

Seriously!! I know that I am not pregnant this cycle. My temps are lower than they have ever been, I have had cramping yesterday and just don't feel like I am. I am either 10 or 12 dpo today as my chart is so unclear BUT...I continue to still have hope only to be heartbroken again!! This is just sooo darn hard!! I wish that there were some type of magic pill I could take that would help but I know that I just have to continue to keep trying as my age and my hormones are all against me. Anyone else in my boat want to chime in and give me some encouragement as there are times I think it will never happen and I am so sad. We have been TTC for about 15 cycles.

[XXforhubby]

Are you having any spotting that makes you feel AF is coming? You may not be out yet. I had cramping at 9DPO and was worried I would have a short LP but got a BFP instead!

I know how much it sucks honey! It is a horrible feeling to not know how long it will take and keep getting hopes up. Please don't lose hope- it's all we've got! I think when we have fertility issues, it can take awhile to turn things around. I know it will happen for you, and you are in my prayers!


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[djmommy]

YUP!! I guess my walk brought it out! SO either I have a 10 or 12 day LP this cycle. I am have 2 cheat days! Already had chocolate!! Although I do eat a piece of milk choc everyday, I am not limiting myself today! Thanks for your prayers XX!! You know what they mean to me!

[atomic sagebrush]

Aw DJ, I'm sorry. :(

I have already said everything so I will just add on (((((hugs)))))

[djmommy]

Thank you Atomic!! I appreciate everything! :heart::heart:

[Junie]

Hugs to you. I've only been at this 5 months since the miscarriage and am already frustrated so I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Just yesterday I read a FB post from a woman who got pregnant after 20 months after not changing anything so just remember it taking longer doesn't mean you don't have a chance!! I hope next cycle is your cycle.

[djmommy]

Thanks so much Junie! I am truly sorry for your loss! I know how hard that is as well! I know you will get your beautiful baby soon! Good things do come to those who wait!! XXOO

[maidentomother]

Big hugs, I can't believe it's been over 3 years since my miscarriage and I still haven't been able to conceive again. It seems like it will never happen for me so I know how you feel. Though I hate waiting longer I just need a break thus why I'm not TTC for a while; I know you don't have that luxury, but maybe even one month of not trying (don't prevent but no OPKing, charting, or timed BD) would help? I took a break last Summer after 4 failed cycles full on, actively TTC and it did help. I felt more hopeful and renewed after, like it was a fresh start.

[kitkat18]

I'm so sorry DJ big hugs to you! I'm with Maiden maybe take a little break from this forum, pressure to TTC and relax the diet just for 1-2months, start enjoying life again!! I know its nowhere as hard as 15 cycles but I conceived DD after 6 cycles (just after having a break for the last 2 as DH ruptured his appendix! ) anyway it did me so much good to just concentrate on him and not worry/obsess about everything little thing I put in my mouth or when I was ovulating. Sending you positive sticky vibes Xxxxx

[djmommy]

Big hugs, I can't believe it's been over 3 years since my miscarriage and I still haven't been able to conceive again. It seems like it will never happen for me so I know how you feel. Though I hate waiting longer I just need a break thus why I'm not TTC for a while; I know you don't have that luxury, but maybe even one month of not trying (don't prevent but no OPKing, charting, or timed BD) would help? I took a break last Summer after 4 failed cycles full on, actively TTC and it did help. I felt more hopeful and renewed after, like it was a fresh start.

Thanks Maiden! I didn't know you have been TTC for so long. I know it will definitely happen for you soon, especially since your hormone levels all came out good for the most part. I think you need to find the right "donor"!!

[djmommy]

Thanks a lot ladies! I am doing femera and ovidrel this cycle and really praying that it works. If not then I am not sure I will continue to sway. I will probably stop temping and opk as well and just hopefully wait for a blessing!!

[LacePrincess]

hiya djmommy, I just wanted to comment on your thread here. :) Thank you SO MUCH for all your support in mine!

I know exactly how you feel. Every damned month it's like your heart whispers 'maybe this is it, this is THE ONE' and then I have to force myself to slap down that annoyingly optimistic voice of hope and protect my poor heart. But still, every month I'll start spotting and that stupid stupid voice is still going 'maybe it's implantation spotting!' or 'people still bleed while preggo!'. It's horrible, I know. :(

Fx that Femara will work for both of us. I know you said you weren't a good candidate for ivf, but have you thought about ovarian drilling? I was just reading about it on my fert centre's blog. If Femara/Clomid doesn't work out then ovarian drilling is another thing you could try that's not expensive. And I don't remember but did you say why you couldn't do IUI? IUI is at least much cheaper than IVF, plus you only need one good egg which with injectibles that would boost the follies too.

I've pretty much dumped the sway in terms of supps and timing, but I'm still skipping breakfast and doing LE diet for the most part. Mostly because I'm vain and don't want to gain weight, LOL!! Right now my plan is to continue with stuff that can't hurt my fertility (like skipping breakfast) but not doing the stuff that could be hurting my fertility (like not taking the vits my RE recommends). I'm also not doing strict LE, just mostly low carb limited meat and no brekky. Since I'm being taken off the Metformin too the LAST thing I want to do is put on any weight!


*hugs*

[djmommy]

Thank you Lace so very much for your support because it really does mean a lot and it helps to know someone really understands. I do the same thing with the spotting, hoping against hope. I never have spotted during pregnancy so I know when I do I am definitely not but still have a glimmer!!
I am not sure I will continue to work with the RE after this cycle. We just don't really have the money to do tons of stuff, we'll see what happens though. I am open to IUI but I don't seem to have many follicles. I had a dominant one today but I am cd 13 and it was only 15 mm. No positive opk yet. I need a break after this. I will try but not try........KWIM. I feel emotionally spent. I have pretty much been very laid back on my sway. I may start to add back in my prenatal a few times a week. I am eating semi LE friendly as well but not strict!
Oh and I totally hear ya on the weight gain thing.....whenever I have gluten it seems the weight wants to creep in and I am amazed how much I used to eat!! LOL Especially protein and fat!!
Thanks again for your support!:heart::heart:

[LacePrincess]

((((djmommy))))

Definitely do what you need to do - change RE's, take a break, throw away the thermometer! ;) . You have to take care of yourself first!

This month I'm just not even bothering to think I have any chance at all. But because we have our 'new' plan with Femara and monitoring next cycle, it at least gives me something to look forward to on CD1. Well that, and sushi, LOL.

[djmommy]

I LOOOOVVVEEEE SUSHI!!!!

Hugs to you Lace!!! XXOO

[LacePrincess]

*hugs* right back Djmommy!

I need it today. :( Starting AF with another fracking 5 day LP - just what the ever loving HELL is this crap. Very bad day today. There will be sushi and wine tonight.

I have the nasty feeling too that we'll be confronting having to decide on IVF options too, and I have no idea how we're going to afford it either. IF sucks so hard.

[djmommy]

HUGS!!!
I am sorry the witch came so early! Are you having bloods done? Your hormones may be off since everything your body went through.
Please enjoy your wine, and sushi. You must add chocolate too. (Although I have chocolate daily....I just eat more when AF arrives ...LOL! And I actually enjoyed a few cocktails last time too!!

[LacePrincess]

HUGS!!!
I am sorry the witch came so early! Are you having bloods done? Your hormones may be off since everything your body went through.
Please enjoy your wine, and sushi. You must add chocolate too. (Although I have chocolate daily....I just eat more when AF arrives ...LOL! And I actually enjoyed a few cocktails last time too!!

Oh I have a whole HEAP of all the baseline testing to do alllll over again, LOL. Everything from all the hormones to all the infectious diseases to AMH to AFC. I figured I might as well just get poked once and let them take their gallon all on CD3, LMAO.

But geez of course my stupid period has to show up on a frakking weekend, and I'm not even sure the clinic will return my call before Monday which will be CD3. So annoying having to babysit the phone all weekend now. I'm just gonna show up on Monday if they don't return my call, I swear!

So waiting on sushi now, and beer/wine/champagne/cocktail (whatever is lowest calories, LOL). Also got the Star Wars Origami book to mess around with, and a brand new Lego movie set just for me. Yes I am building LEGO and it's MINE and none of the boys are allowed to help!! So there! :D

[djmommy]

I think if you can't get a hold of anyone I would definitely show up on Monday. My RE office is open on the weekend for a few hours. It is definitely good that you will be getting everything done again, it will give you a good idea of what to do! I really hope they call you!

I hope you enjoy everything you want to this weekend!!

[LacePrincess]

Had my sushi, had my boozy spritzer, had my chocolate and had my cake. I'm a happy gal. :)

Me and hubby also talked over our options a LOT, and we're pretty happy now. We've made some decisions even for the worst case scenarios so the future doesn't seem so scary anymore. Maybe it's the alcohol talking but I think we're feeling really good about things atm. :)

[djmommy]

I am so glad. Makes me happy for you!!