Ugh! What Is Wrong With People?!

[XXforhubby]

Ok, here goes the pregnancy hormones!

So, my step brother's girlfriend texted me to congratulate me on my pregnancy, and how to spell DS2's name. She then asks if we were trying for another boy or a girl? WTF? I politely texted her back that we want another heathy baby and having three of a kind would be pretty special, although having a girl would be neat. I haven't told a soul we were swaying for a girl for DH, and I completely meant what I told her. I would be over the moon to have another boy! I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is pregnant with her second girl.

She then texts me that if we have another boy, we could almost have our own football team and didn't want to give up all the pink and glitter. Ok, now I want to punch her in the face! I text her back saying she can keep it! I love my boys and wouldn't want to trade them for a girl any day! WTF?! What is wrong with people?! What is wrong with me?! If I am pregnant with a girl (right now we don't know what we are having), I just threw her under the bus to save face with a dip shit! What kind of mom does that make me? Ugh! I would love to give DH a girl, but I want to protect our desires from other people. I calmed down and texted her back saying that I would love to have a girl or another boy. I struggled to get pregnant this time and really just want a healthy baby. At least I saved some face but feel that this is not going to be the last of the onslaught of stupid comments from people!!

Thanks for listening to my rant!


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[XXforhubby]

Whatever happened to just wanting another baby? I just wanted another baby, DH wants a girl. Why do people assume you want a specific gender? Hello, we would've gone HT because that is the only guarantee, or pretty close to it anyway. It just drives me nuts! I feel that I have to protect DH's desires from people, because his GD will be pretty bad if we end up with another DS.


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[mommymachine]

I am sorry about that:( I don't know why people feel they need to say stuff like that. Perhaps she was secretly hoping to have a son and is trying to cover that up? The whole "doth thou protest to much?" kind of thing. I don't feel you threw anyone under the bus. You were just getting defensive about your boys. We all get that!!! I STILL get super defensive about little boys, my boys/boy families. I don't think it will ever go away.

[atomic sagebrush]

Does she have a market on pink and glitter????

THat is what I will never understand, how does anything you have going on, affect anything she has going on (answer: it doesn't) so why say something like that??

I got painted into the same corner a few times too where it feels like I end up throwing DD to the wolves to defend the honor of my sons. I LOVE having sons and would never trade them! Having a girl too is a perk but I always wanted a certain number of kids, boys or girls. :/

[XXforhubby]

Thanks ladies! I just get so protective of my boys and never want them to feel that they are less than because of their gender. I want all of my children to feel wanted, special, and loved!

I feel so blessed to be pregnant again, and I am refusing to let other people ruin my joy! This baby I am carrying is wanted and loved no matter if he/she is a girl or a boy!


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[djmommy]

I am sorry that situation happened. I know how you feel also (but I am not pregnant yet :)). It seems whether you have 2 of the same gender either 2 DD or 2 DS and want a third people automatically assume you want the opposite gender. As soon as I gave birth to my DS2, I KNEW I wanted more. DH was done but came around! I too ADORE my boys and would never trade them for anything. They are total mama's boys too, my angels. I am obviously swaying for a girl but would love and welcome with open arms either!! XXOO

[hopper]

Its people like that I will just never understand! The trouble is they are EVERYWHERE!!! When we found out we were having DS2 my SIL who has 5 girls asked us why were we bothering to tell people we were having another boy cause how could people get excited for another child of the same gender?!?!! WTH!!!! You'd think that she, with 5 of the same gender, would understand not to say anything negative or that could be taken negatively but hey, its takes a village right?!
FWIW I don't think you threw anyone under the bus. And rant away, if theres anyone who gets it its us :)

[djmommy]

Its people like that I will just never understand! The trouble is they are EVERYWHERE!!! When we found out we were having DS2 my SIL who has 5 girls asked us why were we bothering to tell people we were having another boy cause how could people get excited for another child of the same gender?!?!! WTH!!!! You'd think that she, with 5 of the same gender, would understand not to say anything negative or that could be taken negatively but hey, its takes a village right?!
FWIW I don't think you threw anyone under the bus. And rant away, if theres anyone who gets it its us :)

WOW!! I am pretty shocked that she could say why are you bothering to tell anyone! All children are a blessing!

[XXforhubby]

I'm beginning to wonder if the people who have all girls long for a boy themselves and that is why they seem insensitive. I know in my case, my step brother wanted a boy badly. He doesn't appear to have GD, but neither does my DH to other people.

Why can't people just be delighted, or if not, simply say congratulations?! When my neighbor was having her second child, we just said congratulations and hoped for a healthy baby and smooth pregnancy for them. They turned out to have another lovely boy, and we were excited for them. Apparently we were the only ones besides grandparents. WTH?! I don't get people, and I guess I'm glad I don't get it. I love the family of five boys we see at a nearby park sometimes. Both the mom and dad have so much fun playing and interacting with their boys. We always end up chatting and playing with our kids together. The mom always says that we are so delightful because A) we don't ask questions about their large family and B) we don't make comments about gender. I always tell her that I get the gender part being a mom of two boys. People always assume we are going to try for a girl or we are worn out with our boys. That one pisses me off because my boys never wear me out! She says that boy moms sometimes make the worst comments, since they have five boys. I just don't get it! Their boys are so delightful, and I love it when we run into them there because I know my boys will have well behaved, decent children to play with!


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[The Anchor]

Of course there are women out there who want a boy!!! There are a few hundred on this site! To be honest she is probably wanting a boy...she did ask if you wanted a boy or a girl, not just if you were hoping for a girl. She is being defensive as well! It could be she is playing all "oh girls are awesome and all I ever wanted" on the outside, but secretly longing for a son, it's more than possible.

It turns out I was an insensitive sod before finding the gender sites. :(

[XXforhubby]

Yeah I'm beginning to think that people may not be aware of how they come off to people. I know I didn't before having kids! I just was naive to the gender comments and was shocked when we announced DS2 was a boy! I only wanted boys and was surprised when people didn't believe me when I said that. It's true! I guess people found it hard to believe that I only wanted boys. Of course now I'm open to the idea of having a girl and think it would be awesome now.




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[Adia]

I wish I could understand why a woman getting pregnant makes other people feel that they need to demonstrate how inappropriate and rude they really are????

It will never make any sense to me.....

[XXforhubby]

Why can't people just be happy for one another? I swear having a child can bring out the ass in people. I can understand an old woman losing her filter, but geesh! I have learned so much from all of this! I mean unless people go HT the outcome is out of people's hands. Yet it seems with the comments and questions it seems people have forgotten that. Of course wouldn't we all want to wave a magic wand or be granted our wishes, but we know that rarely happens!


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[EmileeJane]

Omg Xx!!!!! I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU! !!!! Congrats! !!! I have been off here for a while. I am so glad to know someone from the ttc board! How far along are you?!

Sorry about the comments. I know exactly how you feel. Luckily my DH is an only child so I don't have a sis in law to drive me bonkers! My sister and in laws both know my sensitivity to those kinds of comments so they are good. I struggle with the complete strangers who feel I need their 2 cents! Also I work know a salon for a living and clients are close behind strangers for worst comments. I am just 12 wks and have told only the ones who are my actual friends. I'm pretty much going to fake it till people say something. And I will probably not reveal the gender or any names to them if we find out we're having a 3rd boy. The nasty things will fly out of their mouths regardless!
Chin up! Know I am thinking of you and going through all the same things!
Congrats again! I know it was a long journey.

[Junie]

Just popping in to say, it is great to see you EmileeJane and I'm so happy for you that you have hit 12 weeks!!

Everyone else has already said my feelings on the matter of stupid gender comments :)

[XXforhubby]

Omg Xx!!!!! I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU! !!!! Congrats! !!! I have been off here for a while. I am so glad to know someone from the ttc board! How far along are you?!

Thank you! I'm 8weeks 1day! My due date is 12/03/2015, and we are super excited!

So happy for you too! Come join us in the due date thread! I pop back and forth between the Sept/Oct/Nov and the Dec/Jan/Feb threads, since my due date could go either way!


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