Confused about timing of intercourse!

[fox]

Help me! I am a LONG time lurker and I've always been afraid of posting because I somehow think that will get my hopes up too much and I'll have another DD. (Yes, I'm a little crazy!)

I have two lovely DDs but I've always dreamed of a boy. When I conceived my first, I wanted a boy but had never heard of swaying. After a trip to the OBGYN, she told me I was Oing so go home and make a baby! That's when DD#1 came. As for DD#2, I heard of the Shettles method and again, tried to conceive on O day which resulted in ANOTHER DD.

This is my last chance! I've been following the HE diet, taking supplements and doing everything I can except I never know when DH and I should "get busy". Both of my girls were O day, one round babies. Help me!

[True Blue]

For TTC a boy you want to DTD every other day, protected in the cycles your not trying and unprotected in the cycle you will be TTC. You want to get 3-5 attempts in the fertile window. So when you have a positive ovulation test you would BD that night, following morning and night, if possible, and again the next night :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Shettles doesn't work. Your story is the same as the vast majority of ladies on here. We have a full scientific debunking of Shettles here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

The newest and best scientific studies show clearly 50-50 boys and girls conceived on any day of the cycle. Timing does not work. We are getting very strong results FOR PINK with one attempt regardless of day (70-75% pink and this has stayed at this level for 4 years now). So by doing one attempt on O day, you are in essence swaying pink.

[atomic sagebrush]

For TTC a boy you want to DTD every other day, protected in the cycles your not trying and unprotected in the cycle you will be TTC. You want to get 3-5 attempts in the fertile window. So when you have a positive ovulation test you would BD that night, following morning and night, if possible, and again the next night :)

:agree: and we are getting great results for blue with this.

[fox]

For TTC a boy you want to DTD every other day, protected in the cycles your not trying and unprotected in the cycle you will be TTC. You want to get 3-5 attempts in the fertile window. So when you have a positive ovulation test you would BD that night, following morning and night, if possible, and again the next night :)

3-5 times only after the ovulation test is positive? Or anywhere in the fertile window? (Sorry if I'm being thick!)

Also- I should note. I've been tracking my cycles for a year now. I O around cycle day 17 BUT my CM is in greatest quantity and quality around CD 14.

Thank you ladies for your help.

[True Blue]

If you BD every other day all cycle then once you see a positive go for 3 attempts that would be great :) you can keep DTD every other day then until you see a clear ovulation on your chart :)

You can see my chart and attempts this cycle - I had hoped for an extra attempt but we didn't manage it :oops: I will stick to every other day now until O is confirmed.

[fox]

Oooh, I see! So every other day leading up to O, then multiple attempts after O.

Why is there so much contradictory information out there?!

[fox]

One more question! Should DH abstain from...uh...pleasuring himself (lol!)? If so, for how long?

[True Blue]

I think if you are DTD every other day it might be too much if DH was to look after himself in-between - I'm open to correction here though :)

Just to clarify you want to get 3 (Up to 5 if you can manage, it's harder than we think ;) ) attempts once you see a positive ovulation test which would be before O - not after O :)

[fox]

Thank you so much for your help! Seriously. Maybe we'll hear blue together!

I'll have to tell DH to not do that, haha! 3-5 attempts seems like a loooooot in just a few days.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oooh, I see! So every other day leading up to O, then multiple attempts after O.

Why is there so much contradictory information out there?!

Because all the other sites get their information from the old debunked Shettles idea and you can read about that in the "Trouble with timing" essay. We operate under a different paradigm here based on newer science - the Trivers Willard Hypothesis, the Maternal Dominance Hypothesis, and blood glucose levels. The other swaying theories only appeared to work because they sometimes mimicked the circumstances that actually swayed (like eating lots of meat does tend to sway blue).

[atomic sagebrush]

One more question! Should DH abstain from...uh...pleasuring himself (lol!)? If so, for how long?

If you're not having regular sex, he can. If you're going for the unprotected attempts every 2-4 days, then like True said, he shouldn't.

You are trying to avoid long periods of abstain and long periods of release in a row.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so much for your help! Seriously. Maybe we'll hear blue together!

I'll have to tell DH to not do that, haha! 3-5 attempts seems like a loooooot in just a few days.

The interesting thing and food for thought is that it is not unusual at all for those of us with lots of boys to have that much sex just regularly. And then the blue swayers (as a general rule) do not have sex anywhere near as often. So if you normally never have sex more than one time in your fertile window (O-3 thru O day) then that is definitely something to focus on changing.

[True Blue]

It's easy to get the three :) as we were DTD every other day we managed to have an attempt the night before +OPK then we DTD the night of +OPK & the following evening so we got 3 attempts in. We unfortunately didn't get another attempt like I had planned, the +opks put DH under a bit of pressure.

[fox]

What's funny is when we're NOT swaying and charting, that seems pretty normal. But I think what happens during the sway is we over think it and end up DTD too little or too much in the wrong window!

[fox]

It's easy to get the three :) as we were DTD every other day we managed to have an attempt the night before +OPK then we DTD the night of +OPK & the following evening so we got 3 attempts in. We unfortunately didn't get another attempt like I had planned, the +opks put DH under a bit of pressure.

TrueBlue, does your H get stage fright? My H doesn't like to know when the OPKs are positive because it makes him feel like he has to "perform" thus, making things not work.

[True Blue]

Yes it's exactly that :) in our case DH was very much into the sway and had asked all the right questions, great yes, but it meant as soon as the every other day pattern changed he was fully aware why :D
He asked about the OPKs every day until they turned + and was quite excited but it had a negative impact then for the actual DTD.

[atomic sagebrush]

I have had a few ladies who actually had to tell little white lies about when it was go time! :) Not unusual at all.