Ultrasound tech melted my brain

[usuallywrite]

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I am so confused. I haven't been on here in ages, November was the one year mark since we lost our 10 year old son, and the whole end of last year was just really rough. Also had a chemical pregnancy in November. Ended up with a BFP in January, and was waiting to post what I had done for my sway until we were a ways in, and we knew who we were having.

Monday I went for my 20 week ultrasound, at 20w 2d. Though I had swayed girl, I was expecting to hear boy, and did, pointing to this picture and the "good looking scrotum" in it. Well 5 minutes after this, the baby pottied (which was pretty cool to see, actually) and the tech suddenly got a bit flustered and changed his tune. "I apologize," he said, "I think that is a girl. We should have seen a clear penis pop out there when the baby went, and I don't see that. Sometimes the labia gets swollen and makes it hard to tell...I'm like 90/10...never 100%..." and I didn't hear any more and wouldn't have believed a word of it at that point anyway. I assumed he had grabbed a couple of photos for me on my usb drive after his flip flop, but discovered when I got home that he hadn't. So I have no comparison shots. Nothing clear enough either way. Now I am debating what to do. I have to have another ultrasound in 8 weeks due to a low lying placenta, but 1. I don't know if I can wait that long, and 2. I don't really want to pay for an extra ultrasound in between. On the upside, the next one should be done by my regular guy who I have seen in my last 4 pregnancies, and I tend to trust him more.

What do you see? What would you do?

[Dana-Alicia]

Oh hun, how devestating you lost your son! I'm so so sorry! And for that reason, because you already have so much to deal with, I would pay for another ultrasound. To ease your mind. I don't think this looks like an obvious boy, but not sure if that's a girl either. I'm sure the more experienced girls will chime in. But these are just my two cents. For your own peace of mind, I would get another scan done. Good luck, I hope you hear pink!

[luvmyfam]

That looks like a definite GIRL to me! I see the three lines. So sorry for the loss of your son.(((Hugs)))

[Claire33]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. :broken::sad:

I personally think this is looking more like a girl than a boy. The u/s tech probably thought he'd given you a good answer with his last guess of 90% girl, not realizing how important it is to you to know 100%. He probably didn't realize that he'd given you a pic where it said boy, even though he'd said girl after boy. These techs do scans all day, so often that they forget how important gender can be after you hear the baby is healthy.

I understand you are hesitant, so personally I would definitely pay for a private scan in your situation, letting them know that your main focus is gender rather than general health (which is what the regular ultrasound is for). But I don't know if you can spare the extra money for this. It depends on if you can mentally "survive" not knowing for another 8 weeks vs the money). I think it's looking promising for girl, but I don't want to give you hope and then it's a boy after all.

Good luck deciding what to do!

[usuallywrite]

Thank you ladies. I am soooo incredibly relieved that baby thus far looks healthy. That was the biggest thing with everything else my family is already going through. I was even debating staying team green as I did in 2 other pregnancies. But once I decided I wanted to know, now I REALLY want to know. I don't have the energy, resources, or time to prepare for both this time around! And my DH, upon hearing girl, has decided that that is it. He was hoping to hear pink (he has never before expressed a preference either way). He is saying 'she' all the time, and I don't want that sinking in if it's a little man.

[atomic sagebrush]

I hate to be a sexist pig but I have seen time and again that the male ultrasound techs are THE WORST at determining gender. Jump to quick conclusions and speak when they should wait for a better shot. then are defensive about it (at least part that doesn't seem to be the case with this guy)

I honestly could not tell what gender from that picture.

[usuallywrite]

Lol, Atomic, I don't find that sexist! Interesting, funny, but not sexist. :bigsmile::worry: The first bit I felt was exactly as you said. He zipped over there so fast, said what it was, and I was thinking, wait, how about we do a little wander around the area before sticking flags in the ground and making life changing proclamations?? With all 5 of my boys, I got clear all boy potty shots, no doubt at all. That's what I would really like this time around too.

[mommymachine]

I am so sorry for your loss.

This picture is tough. I almost think I am leaning more girl than boy though...

[foxymrsg]

Oh my I'm so sorry for your loss! I agree this is not a clear shot, I'd lean more towards girl than boy from it though! Good luck

[silverstar1717]

Girl!

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too would find the room financially to go get the scan done. I too am leaning girl.


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[Nahri]

Im torn on this one. Its not clear enough for me to say. I can see why they would say its a scrotum off this but I dont see an obvious penis either. I dont particularly like the angle of the shot because it could also be hidden. If it will ease your mind find a way for a confirmation shot via elective even if its just a black and white 2D to save the money.

[ELP]

I too was thinking girl from your picture:) and am so sorry for the loss of your son:( I hope this little one will bring a beautiful light back into your lifes xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[usuallywrite]

First update, my midwife mentioned what happened to the ultrasound tech that I know much better, and he told her he would be happy to have a quick look for me. Hopefully sometime in the next few days. Hoping for something clearer... Thanks to all of you who commented and offered kind words. It means a lot to me. Will update again soon.

[Dana-Alicia]

Oh wow that is so nice of them to arrange that for you! I'm getting nervous for you lol, fx for pink!

[Claire33]

How lucky that you have a midwife and tech that will give you a little extra help and support during this! FX for you!

[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

So awesome - keep us posted!!!


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[usuallywrite]

I went in for a quick look at baby today, with the added stress of being told this morning that the radiologist who had read my first scan results thought he had spotted a wide suture line (where the skull bones come together, which can be caused by a whole host of problems, some quite serious). My wonderful tech, who I've known for 7 years, was able to reassure me on that, show me where the problem would have been if there was one, and explain how it was the angle of the other shots that had made it look like there may be something wrong.

And then... he showed me from several angles, that we are indeed having a GIRL. Whaaaaat??? I am stunned. I had so totally convinced myself it's a boy. I cannot believe it, and don't know if I fully will until I see her face to face! Now to make it through the rest of this pregnancy, hopefully without incident, and with a cooperative placenta that moves enough...

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[Claire33]

Congrats! I really did think it was a girl though :bigsmile:

I'm also very happy that she is healthy. I hope that your placenta moves up.

[XXforhubby]

Huge congrats! So, so happy that she is healthy! Now let's hope for a cooperative placenta!!


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[Hitmebabyonemoretime]

Omg I am STOKED for you!!! Congrats!!!


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[usuallywrite]

Thank you all. :) This evening DH and I have been planning fun ways we can tell our kids. My daughter especially is going to lose her mind!

[Nahri]

Congrats on hearing girl! I hope everything continues smoothly and you can relax until she is here!

[luvmyfam]

Congrats!!!

[Dana-Alicia]

Oh that news just made my day!!! HUGE congrats on your healthy little girl!!