Nahri
June 8th, 2015, 04:21 AM
I know my Due Date Buddies have been anxiously awaiting these pictures and stories so without further delay the birth story of Aria Mae. (apparently I'm doctor Seuss coming of the pregnancy hormone rollercoaster)
My Kitchen Sink Sway- http://genderdreaming.com/forum/add-your-girl-sway-/45548-nahri-ttc-girl-sway-attempt.html
I have now had one of each birth both medicated and non so hopefully for someone trying to make the decision between Epidural and the old fashioned way may find some of this useful. Keep in mind that I am very opinionated and grounded in studies and facts when it comes to my medical care so while I may find some of my doctors decisions not to my liking it may not be that way for you and you may also have different opinions so just ignore my small rants here and there.
I've tried to title parts of this small book of a post so you can skip to what you would like
We started seriously thinking about adding one more child back in December 2013. I have some health problems and lasting physical hip injuries from the military that were complicated by the weight and strain of DS on the first pregnancy so I had some issues with that this time as well but with a different birth outcome than before.
THE PAIN and the Epidural Birth of DS
With DS's labor I made it all the way through to just before the famed "ring of fire" push and my hip would not cooperate giving me the necessary leverage to get him out. Spinal block and continuous epidural medication were given because they put the fear of possible c-section into me at that point with forceps and episiotomy being a minimum. So I agreed to it took about an hour still after that to get him out and it did end in an episiotomy and forceps extraction of a healthy 7lb 2oz 21inch 37/5 gestation baby boy. I think a lot of people may get the epidural for the notion of perceived pain. What that means is if I tell you I'm going to do something to you and that it will be the worst pain you ever felt in your life and you would probably rather step in front of a bus then what I am about to do to you, you begin to expect that pain and work yourself up into a panic expecting all this horrific pain and suffering and then in the end I just tickle you. Given my description you would most likely take the epidural. Now everyone's pain level is different and if you think you need it then take it. If you think you don't then don't! Do not let someone else push you into what you think you need if its not NECESSARY! I felt I failed after that experience. I knew I had a bad hip but I didn't think it was THAT bad but the doctor said so and scared me with a late emergency c-section threat. But at that time what did I know? I had full confidence but with my specific injuries there was no research for that and no preparing I could only hold out so much. I labored longer because of course the Epidural slows you down, it can lead to interventions such as internal monitoring because now it can mess with baby (mine did), and other things too. (ask your doctor do your own research too) From the time the head came through the cervix till the time he was pulled out that was 8.5 hours long. The biggest slow down was when the epidural was administered. I reached down and felt his head maybe about an inch or two from being born and it still took hours...:holysheep:
The PLAN
MY GENDER DREAMING GIRL!
December 2013- The sign up
February 2014 The sway plan was "born"
End of March 2014 The supplements and light diet was started
By the end of April 2014 we were HARDCORE on the plan
As you can see from my sway link I kitchen sinked this one which means if it was on the plan it was DONE plus any additional Old Wives tales, myths, and additional research on various studies. Because of my injuries and wanting to keep a 2-3 year age gap between siblings (This is why I chose that gap The Alpha Parent: What no one tells you about child spacing (http://www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html) )
There was only one late addition in my sway which was the pregnitude. After a few months of no success and one chemical I added it in and BAM BFP. Could be coincidence could have been the key! :poas:
There sadly is no 100% science when trying swaying this way so don't get discouraged if you hardcore kitchen sink and it doesn't happen. It helps improve your odds greatly but sadly no guarantee for everyone. I wish everyone's story could be as happy as mine.
I scoured the stat sheets on boys vs girls outcomes including the inverses, used the column filters and looked for the highest incidence of success and those were all used and tried. Nothing was going to stand in the way of trying for our girl and hubby was fully on board. Little did he know what he was in for. When you tell your wife "Whatever you say we need to do we will do it" leaves your lips then you just unlocked pandora's box! :shemademe::bowdown:
He is my hero on this journey and on many others in my life:superhero:
LE diet was done for 4 months prior to first attempt and stuck to religiously with one cheat being my nieces wedding and it was a light cheat I just ate smaller portions of the things I "wasn't supposed to". DH's eating was cleaned up to where he was just eating healthy instead of microwaved, fast food, whatever meals and losing weight just dieting along with all his supplements listed in the sway and abstain for a week or so before attempt. The remaining 2 we went strict vegetarian BOTH of us. DH got rewarded with venison steak on our BFP because he claims he was "wasting away" from all the "rabbit food" HAHAHA. We chose this because of studies that have been done in this area as well as knowing some vegetarians that happen to be the only girl producers in the family. Our BFP came in the first part of OCT which was almost scary because I had a colposcopy done (As some of you may have remembered) while I would have been 2 weeks pregnant. Thankfully it did not harm the pregnancy and I was calling my doc who did it a week later to tell her I needed the confirmation test for my insurance :)
THE PAIN AND NON-EPIDURAL BIRTH OF DD
I had PLANNED for the same spinal and epidural as I did with DS. I set myself up early for my "failure". My hip was worse, the SPD was WAY worse this time so I thought to myself if it's THIS bad then I better go ahead because I am going to NEED it based on my past experience. Turns out that "failure" was not mine it was my doctors not trusting what a woman's body is capable of doing. I was Gestational diabetic last time and this time too. They did try the "Oh you have GDB so your baby will be huge we will most likely have to induce early or c-sect" (Many of you remember that story too). I put my foot down on that and consented to bi-weekly NST (which I almost told them NO because my GDB was WELL under control) to keep the happy cutters at bay. This is what she decided to put me through...
May 20th-25th 1 hour apart contractions steady for 1 minute long lasting 2-4 hours each day then quitting (36 weeks)
May 28th-30th 1 hour apart contractions steady for 1 minute lasting 5 hours each day then quitting. Nope not Braxton Hicks fakers either! (37 weeks)
did this ALLLL weekend same pattern
June 1 again
June 2 same thing except this time we got down to every 10 mintues for 1 minute for EIGHT HOURS.. BRAT!!!
June 3-4 back to 1 hour apart...
EARLY morning June 5 1am Fired up at every 10 minutes again and then some at 6 some at 5 then the REALLY started hurting. I told DH call off work this is happening or they said they'd sweep at tomorrows appointment if I wanted them to so either way lets make sure you are home (he was going to a job site 5 hours away I wasn't risking it)
Went all the way to 5am then decided they were going to hold so lets go. No water break just unbearable god awful contractions. so off we fly to the hospital Goes to show you that pregnancy does what it wants when it wants to!
They watched for almost 2 hours before finally agreeing to admit me, hooked me up with the Ball upon request because that was how I was controlling my pain very effectively at home! I started feeling very lightly "pushy" so at that point of course they make you get in bed etc. Laid there for about 30 minutes and getting very pushy feeling and close to 8cm still no water break. My water dripped out with DS, to the point I wasn't sure if it was fluid or just discharge, so nothing prepared me for the next part...
About to get the epidural like planned and said "ok I feel that I really have to pee can we do that before I lay down?" (Famous last words) I drank nearly 40oz of water before I was admitted to keep labor moving along. So they agreed and followed me in and kept saying NO PUSHING because we didnt want a baby on the floor or in the toilet. I got 2 feet MAYBE from the bed and SPLOOSH! Sounded like jello hitting the floor. I know TMI but yes it can happen the "movie way" continued to the bathroom while they mopped up and didn't have to pee anymore... :( Im sure it happened with the water break or it was just the pressure from the bag making me think I had to. So back into bed here comes the doc. I am DEATHLY afraid of needles and with anxiety attacks, that whole notion of precieved pain I mentioned gets very real for me easily. I told him do not tell me, dont mention it, JUST DO IT. What does he do... "Im cleaning your back now" " Now I'm going to give you the numbing shot" "Ok here come's the needle!" I don't know who wanted to slap him more me or DH. At this point I was hyperventilating and full blown panic attack and of course that made everything 30 times worse pain wise. Try 1 miss... Try 2.. miss Try 3.. Ignoring my contractions and stabbing away anyway! He says he cant do it and maybe he will try again later because I kept moving. Yeah sit still through a contraction jerk lets see you try.... NUH UH. So I ask about my other options. The option is Stadol in my IV which will "take the edge off". It did but to me it felt no different than the full blow contractions anyway but in between the contractions I was 5 minute catnapping which gave me the extra energy to keep going (something to keep in mind ladies if you don't want full blown drugs or you just decide you need a little something that's not harsh)
THE Big thing...
Now in comparison from DS's birth from the time DD's head cleared the cervix to born was 2 hours. HUGE difference in time! And I will tell you this.. maybe it makes me wierd but maybe some of you have felt the same. It felt GOOD to push! There was no pain during the push because it was working with the contraction as nature intended. The "Ring of fire" approached and the point of my previous failure. Now I was scared... Now it was a new pain I had never felt but only read about and usually to the extreme pain end. For those of you that haven't experienced this yet yes it does "hurt" take your fingers on either side of your mouth and lightly keep pulling your mouth wider and wider very slowly (dont jerk) feel that sensation of stretch and "burn" in the corners of your mouth? That is what it feels like. As long as you don't try to rocket baby out that slow sensation will build and not get sharp. In between pushes the OB was using basically KY jelly and going all around her head and everywhere he could to make the transition easy. I did tear my old episiotomy site again which I'm told may or may not have happened had I not had one done already. My doc was sneaky and knew better and during one of those ring of fire pushes immediately injected the local and I had NO clue that he did it because I wasn't told and didn't feel it because of the push pain. It was the best thing he could have done and I just may make him cookies for it. I gave it one more all and she was born a healthy 8lbs 1 oz 19.5 inch long at 38/5 weeks. My OB I think was actually cheering me on more than DH! One comment stuck in my head " This is not about comfort this is called labor now PUSH!" rofl
HINDSIGHT is 20/20
I messaged the doula that helped us with DS and I told her that her horsey lip advice during labor was still the best ever and because of those horsey lips I delivered without an epidural. She told me that she knew I could the first time except for that "pushy doctor" and that I made her day by contacting her 3 years later :) Had I still lived in that state I would have used her again!
Anyone's experience could go this way or even in the reverse so just my personal comparison. Factor in 2nd pregnancy too I am sure
epi experience
non epi experience
water break to birth 22hrs
(no water break)5 min contractions to birth 12 hours barely
Pitocin was needed because of epi
Extra IV fluid because of the Stadol (whoopdie doo)
Internal monitoring because of epi
Tore original episiotomy site (didn't feel it possibly wouldn't have happened without original)
Forceps and episiotomy because of epi
The worst pain that everyone fears is over and gone quickly
No ring of fire pain
Pushing when YOU feel like it
Directed pushing
Getting into the position you are comfortable with. Gravity WORKS! lol
Not being able to walk right away
Major back pain for months after the epi
DS Jaundiced because of epi
Laying down in bed most likely on your back (unless you have the walking epidural
So now to the part everyone really cares about. Thank You AS and gender dreaming for this bundle:
25607
25608
25610
25611
25612
25613
25614
25615
25616
25617 DS on top DD on bottom at the same age same jersey Definitely siblings
2 more below...
My Kitchen Sink Sway- http://genderdreaming.com/forum/add-your-girl-sway-/45548-nahri-ttc-girl-sway-attempt.html
I have now had one of each birth both medicated and non so hopefully for someone trying to make the decision between Epidural and the old fashioned way may find some of this useful. Keep in mind that I am very opinionated and grounded in studies and facts when it comes to my medical care so while I may find some of my doctors decisions not to my liking it may not be that way for you and you may also have different opinions so just ignore my small rants here and there.
I've tried to title parts of this small book of a post so you can skip to what you would like
We started seriously thinking about adding one more child back in December 2013. I have some health problems and lasting physical hip injuries from the military that were complicated by the weight and strain of DS on the first pregnancy so I had some issues with that this time as well but with a different birth outcome than before.
THE PAIN and the Epidural Birth of DS
With DS's labor I made it all the way through to just before the famed "ring of fire" push and my hip would not cooperate giving me the necessary leverage to get him out. Spinal block and continuous epidural medication were given because they put the fear of possible c-section into me at that point with forceps and episiotomy being a minimum. So I agreed to it took about an hour still after that to get him out and it did end in an episiotomy and forceps extraction of a healthy 7lb 2oz 21inch 37/5 gestation baby boy. I think a lot of people may get the epidural for the notion of perceived pain. What that means is if I tell you I'm going to do something to you and that it will be the worst pain you ever felt in your life and you would probably rather step in front of a bus then what I am about to do to you, you begin to expect that pain and work yourself up into a panic expecting all this horrific pain and suffering and then in the end I just tickle you. Given my description you would most likely take the epidural. Now everyone's pain level is different and if you think you need it then take it. If you think you don't then don't! Do not let someone else push you into what you think you need if its not NECESSARY! I felt I failed after that experience. I knew I had a bad hip but I didn't think it was THAT bad but the doctor said so and scared me with a late emergency c-section threat. But at that time what did I know? I had full confidence but with my specific injuries there was no research for that and no preparing I could only hold out so much. I labored longer because of course the Epidural slows you down, it can lead to interventions such as internal monitoring because now it can mess with baby (mine did), and other things too. (ask your doctor do your own research too) From the time the head came through the cervix till the time he was pulled out that was 8.5 hours long. The biggest slow down was when the epidural was administered. I reached down and felt his head maybe about an inch or two from being born and it still took hours...:holysheep:
The PLAN
MY GENDER DREAMING GIRL!
December 2013- The sign up
February 2014 The sway plan was "born"
End of March 2014 The supplements and light diet was started
By the end of April 2014 we were HARDCORE on the plan
As you can see from my sway link I kitchen sinked this one which means if it was on the plan it was DONE plus any additional Old Wives tales, myths, and additional research on various studies. Because of my injuries and wanting to keep a 2-3 year age gap between siblings (This is why I chose that gap The Alpha Parent: What no one tells you about child spacing (http://www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html) )
There was only one late addition in my sway which was the pregnitude. After a few months of no success and one chemical I added it in and BAM BFP. Could be coincidence could have been the key! :poas:
There sadly is no 100% science when trying swaying this way so don't get discouraged if you hardcore kitchen sink and it doesn't happen. It helps improve your odds greatly but sadly no guarantee for everyone. I wish everyone's story could be as happy as mine.
I scoured the stat sheets on boys vs girls outcomes including the inverses, used the column filters and looked for the highest incidence of success and those were all used and tried. Nothing was going to stand in the way of trying for our girl and hubby was fully on board. Little did he know what he was in for. When you tell your wife "Whatever you say we need to do we will do it" leaves your lips then you just unlocked pandora's box! :shemademe::bowdown:
He is my hero on this journey and on many others in my life:superhero:
LE diet was done for 4 months prior to first attempt and stuck to religiously with one cheat being my nieces wedding and it was a light cheat I just ate smaller portions of the things I "wasn't supposed to". DH's eating was cleaned up to where he was just eating healthy instead of microwaved, fast food, whatever meals and losing weight just dieting along with all his supplements listed in the sway and abstain for a week or so before attempt. The remaining 2 we went strict vegetarian BOTH of us. DH got rewarded with venison steak on our BFP because he claims he was "wasting away" from all the "rabbit food" HAHAHA. We chose this because of studies that have been done in this area as well as knowing some vegetarians that happen to be the only girl producers in the family. Our BFP came in the first part of OCT which was almost scary because I had a colposcopy done (As some of you may have remembered) while I would have been 2 weeks pregnant. Thankfully it did not harm the pregnancy and I was calling my doc who did it a week later to tell her I needed the confirmation test for my insurance :)
THE PAIN AND NON-EPIDURAL BIRTH OF DD
I had PLANNED for the same spinal and epidural as I did with DS. I set myself up early for my "failure". My hip was worse, the SPD was WAY worse this time so I thought to myself if it's THIS bad then I better go ahead because I am going to NEED it based on my past experience. Turns out that "failure" was not mine it was my doctors not trusting what a woman's body is capable of doing. I was Gestational diabetic last time and this time too. They did try the "Oh you have GDB so your baby will be huge we will most likely have to induce early or c-sect" (Many of you remember that story too). I put my foot down on that and consented to bi-weekly NST (which I almost told them NO because my GDB was WELL under control) to keep the happy cutters at bay. This is what she decided to put me through...
May 20th-25th 1 hour apart contractions steady for 1 minute long lasting 2-4 hours each day then quitting (36 weeks)
May 28th-30th 1 hour apart contractions steady for 1 minute lasting 5 hours each day then quitting. Nope not Braxton Hicks fakers either! (37 weeks)
did this ALLLL weekend same pattern
June 1 again
June 2 same thing except this time we got down to every 10 mintues for 1 minute for EIGHT HOURS.. BRAT!!!
June 3-4 back to 1 hour apart...
EARLY morning June 5 1am Fired up at every 10 minutes again and then some at 6 some at 5 then the REALLY started hurting. I told DH call off work this is happening or they said they'd sweep at tomorrows appointment if I wanted them to so either way lets make sure you are home (he was going to a job site 5 hours away I wasn't risking it)
Went all the way to 5am then decided they were going to hold so lets go. No water break just unbearable god awful contractions. so off we fly to the hospital Goes to show you that pregnancy does what it wants when it wants to!
They watched for almost 2 hours before finally agreeing to admit me, hooked me up with the Ball upon request because that was how I was controlling my pain very effectively at home! I started feeling very lightly "pushy" so at that point of course they make you get in bed etc. Laid there for about 30 minutes and getting very pushy feeling and close to 8cm still no water break. My water dripped out with DS, to the point I wasn't sure if it was fluid or just discharge, so nothing prepared me for the next part...
About to get the epidural like planned and said "ok I feel that I really have to pee can we do that before I lay down?" (Famous last words) I drank nearly 40oz of water before I was admitted to keep labor moving along. So they agreed and followed me in and kept saying NO PUSHING because we didnt want a baby on the floor or in the toilet. I got 2 feet MAYBE from the bed and SPLOOSH! Sounded like jello hitting the floor. I know TMI but yes it can happen the "movie way" continued to the bathroom while they mopped up and didn't have to pee anymore... :( Im sure it happened with the water break or it was just the pressure from the bag making me think I had to. So back into bed here comes the doc. I am DEATHLY afraid of needles and with anxiety attacks, that whole notion of precieved pain I mentioned gets very real for me easily. I told him do not tell me, dont mention it, JUST DO IT. What does he do... "Im cleaning your back now" " Now I'm going to give you the numbing shot" "Ok here come's the needle!" I don't know who wanted to slap him more me or DH. At this point I was hyperventilating and full blown panic attack and of course that made everything 30 times worse pain wise. Try 1 miss... Try 2.. miss Try 3.. Ignoring my contractions and stabbing away anyway! He says he cant do it and maybe he will try again later because I kept moving. Yeah sit still through a contraction jerk lets see you try.... NUH UH. So I ask about my other options. The option is Stadol in my IV which will "take the edge off". It did but to me it felt no different than the full blow contractions anyway but in between the contractions I was 5 minute catnapping which gave me the extra energy to keep going (something to keep in mind ladies if you don't want full blown drugs or you just decide you need a little something that's not harsh)
THE Big thing...
Now in comparison from DS's birth from the time DD's head cleared the cervix to born was 2 hours. HUGE difference in time! And I will tell you this.. maybe it makes me wierd but maybe some of you have felt the same. It felt GOOD to push! There was no pain during the push because it was working with the contraction as nature intended. The "Ring of fire" approached and the point of my previous failure. Now I was scared... Now it was a new pain I had never felt but only read about and usually to the extreme pain end. For those of you that haven't experienced this yet yes it does "hurt" take your fingers on either side of your mouth and lightly keep pulling your mouth wider and wider very slowly (dont jerk) feel that sensation of stretch and "burn" in the corners of your mouth? That is what it feels like. As long as you don't try to rocket baby out that slow sensation will build and not get sharp. In between pushes the OB was using basically KY jelly and going all around her head and everywhere he could to make the transition easy. I did tear my old episiotomy site again which I'm told may or may not have happened had I not had one done already. My doc was sneaky and knew better and during one of those ring of fire pushes immediately injected the local and I had NO clue that he did it because I wasn't told and didn't feel it because of the push pain. It was the best thing he could have done and I just may make him cookies for it. I gave it one more all and she was born a healthy 8lbs 1 oz 19.5 inch long at 38/5 weeks. My OB I think was actually cheering me on more than DH! One comment stuck in my head " This is not about comfort this is called labor now PUSH!" rofl
HINDSIGHT is 20/20
I messaged the doula that helped us with DS and I told her that her horsey lip advice during labor was still the best ever and because of those horsey lips I delivered without an epidural. She told me that she knew I could the first time except for that "pushy doctor" and that I made her day by contacting her 3 years later :) Had I still lived in that state I would have used her again!
Anyone's experience could go this way or even in the reverse so just my personal comparison. Factor in 2nd pregnancy too I am sure
epi experience
non epi experience
water break to birth 22hrs
(no water break)5 min contractions to birth 12 hours barely
Pitocin was needed because of epi
Extra IV fluid because of the Stadol (whoopdie doo)
Internal monitoring because of epi
Tore original episiotomy site (didn't feel it possibly wouldn't have happened without original)
Forceps and episiotomy because of epi
The worst pain that everyone fears is over and gone quickly
No ring of fire pain
Pushing when YOU feel like it
Directed pushing
Getting into the position you are comfortable with. Gravity WORKS! lol
Not being able to walk right away
Major back pain for months after the epi
DS Jaundiced because of epi
Laying down in bed most likely on your back (unless you have the walking epidural
So now to the part everyone really cares about. Thank You AS and gender dreaming for this bundle:
25607
25608
25610
25611
25612
25613
25614
25615
25616
25617 DS on top DD on bottom at the same age same jersey Definitely siblings
2 more below...