Doctor guesses we're having yet another girl...

[girlymomma]

I'm pregnant with my fourth child. I already have 3 girls, and we would really love a boy this time. I posted my 13 week ultrasound and had a lot of boy nub guesses! But then yesterday, my ob said she thinks the heartbeat sounds like another girl..

I know the heart rate thing is an old wives tale, but my doctor has correctly guessed my last three pregnancies and says she's hardly ever wrong... Feeling so bummed out right now. We have the big ultrasound scheduled for July 6th. I just feel like I'll be really disappointed if this is another girl. I'm actually feeling kind of depressed, I'm hoping it's just the hormones and I'll be okay, regardless of the gender.

[atomic sagebrush]

Your OB should be disciplined by whatever committee does stuff like that.

Heart rate does NOT predict gender. It's been studied and found that with the exception of the week before delivery there is no correlation between boy and girl heartbeats and the only thing that affects heartbeat on a baby is age of gestation.

Can your baby be a girl, of course and it is always a good idea to make peace with that idea. But please do not descend into despair over a prediction that has no proof behind it.

[twointow83]

Ditto atomic! If it makes you feel any better, I was a boy for the better part of my mom's pregnancy(i.e. they thought I was based on HR), lol. Also, I've had high HRs and low HR and HRs right in the middle and all 3 were boys (never got to hear my girls HB :( ). Don't put too much stock in it. I'd trust an u/s over HR any day of the week.

[Mulberry Smurf]

Agree with the above posts, absolutely no connection between the two. Can you post your nub shot again? Hope your boy is on board xx

[girlymomma]

Thanks ladies! I know there's no scientific basis for it, but I still let it get to me. A huge part of it is knowing how over-joyed my husband would be to have son. He says he doesn't care, but I know he really does. I just want to be able to finally give him that gift. I've been so emotional about it. Anyway, here are my nub shots. I've certainly obsessed over them the last 6 weeks!


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[Kitty0911]

That nub shot looks very boyish to me! I have three boys and that looks quite familiar :)

[girlymomma]

Thank you! I had a ton of boy guesses on the ultrasound board. I know nubs aren't always correct but it's gotta be better odds than heartbeat right? :)

[atomic sagebrush]

ALWAYS better than heartrate.

My girl's was the lowest of my 5 kids by far, I used to get worried about her when they'd do her heartrate and it was in the 130's.

[Mumof3girls]

It looks like a boy to me too.

[Claire33]

Sweetheart, I can totally understand how you feel. I am in a similar boat, and still find it hard to believe I am actually having an opposite of my other three. I do think you will hear boy on July 6th, that is a very boyish nub. But I totally understand that you are apprehensive and that you got so taken aback by your OB's prediction. Heart rate depends on if baby is sleeping, awake, gestation (HR is higher in earlier gestation) etc. Not reliable for gender at all! I heard that HR is only somewhat reliable right before birth when baby is full term.

FX and good luck waiting until your scan. Don't forget to update us!

[japes]

Yeah the h/r thing is nonsense but I understand it makes you feel nervous when someone you trust says they think it's a girl. I went HT for a girl and I still feel nervous when people say 'Oh my skin was like yours when I had a boy' etc etc. I hope you hear BOY! (I know nada about nubs!)

[dloui128]

you definitely can't go by heart rate. DD1 and DS always had the same heart rates and DD2 was always lower, so I thought she was going to be a boy

[deaks66]

I'd take boy nub guesses over silly heart rate nonsense anyday. I bet she's going to have to eat her words :)

[jen75]

i'm no expert, but i would say boy. xxx and not just because its what you want but to me it looks clearly stacked and that's usually boy. xx

[girlymomma]

Thanks everyone. All of your comments have made me feel more rational again. It's probably a goo thing for me to be prepared for another girl, just in case. I didn't realize just how disappointed I would be until she made that comment. We'll see what happens!

[SpicyTunaSushi]

I didn't have a nub shot- but just had DD3. My dds hr was always low, even at birth. I knew to take it with a grain of salt (we were team green). I'd put much more stock in your nub shot.

[Claire33]

Update?

[bunnywabbit]

Definitely don't worry about heart rate - my little man had a quite high heartrate but we always seemed to get to scan after he'd had a big ol' party in there. Some babies are certainly more active than others!

[girlymomma]

Well we had the big ultrasound on Monday... and it's a BOY!!! The tech pointed out all the boy parts and said she is 99.999 percent sure. I'm overjoyed!! And still kind of in disbelief! Thank you everyone for your kind words. I just feel so thankful to finally be getting our boy.

It's been enlightening for me to read on here about other women's experiences with gender disappointment. It seems a majority of posts are about trying to conceive a girl or women feeling like other people look down on the all-boy families. I just want to say that this has given me a completely new perspective. For years I've felt like people look down on families with all girls. Comments like "oh your poor husband...," "just wait until the teenage years," and "girls are so much harder to raise than boys, they're too emotional."

I know my husband especially felt the sting. He absolutely loves and adores our girls, but with each pregnancy his friends, family, and coworkers would constantly make "joking" comments. People even made rude comments about our FIRST daughter! Like "oh it's better to have a boy as the oldest, so he can lead his siblings." Like yeah, I hadn't thought of that I'll just go trade in this girl for a boy... Ugh people say dumb things! But you all already know that ;)

My husband's group of friends always jokes that men with sons are better lovers (apparently this is based on some scientific study...). I've felt for years that people feel sorry for our family. And that boy moms are somehow cooler and better and healthier, and have something I'll never be able to have. My high school boyfriend has two sons and every time I see them around (we live in a small town), I would imagine he's thankful he ended up marrying a woman who could give him boys, and that he probably feels sorry for my husband. I know that sounds crazy, but GD makes us think irrational things!

Anyway, I'm writing all this just to say that it was therapeutic to read how some boy moms feel. I had no idea! I wish none of us had to contend with these feelings. Social pressure makes it so much worse, people say the dumbest things. Just know that somewhere out there a "girl mom" is probably envying your family, too.

Thank you all for being so honest, it has really changed the way I look at this issue. I'm so excited and grateful for our little man. But, I'll always be hyper-sensitive to people's comments about family makeup and gender. I'm thankful I found this community that talks openly about such a sensitive topic.

[twointow83]

Congrats!

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[Prepsina2014]

Just barging in to say a huge congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

[Claire33]

Congrats on your SON!! :DS::bluecheer::celebrate:

It is so annoying how same gender families get such insensitive comments. People just don't get it do they? We all deal with our silent battle. I'm glad some people admire all boy families though, it helps :D

[Mulberry Smurf]

yay so pleased, enjoy your blue shopping!!!! xx

[deaks66]

There was no way that nub was ever going to be a girl. Enjoy!!

[baabaa]

Huge congrats on your little man! He will be very lucky to have three big sisters to smother him with love and cuddles xx

[Magical22]

Congratulations!

Thank you for sharing your story, I have two boys and it was good hearing your side. I feel like I've always had to defend my second son, like people feel sorry for me that I don't have a girl. The irrational thoughts you have are this side too. I guess you can't win. [emoji5]️


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[atomic sagebrush]

So happy to read this update!! Enjoy!!

And nyeah-nyeah-ne-nyeah nyeah to the doctor. :p

[The Anchor]

HUGE CONGRATS!!!

[hopper]

What a wonderful update!! Absolutely delighted for you and your family, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and happy blue shopping :) As much as I am desperate for a little girl I must say little boys are the business :) Enjoy him!! X