where did "dtd every 4 days" come from?

[gizmo77]

i remember reading in IG and i think here that its best to DTD every 2-6 days to help replenish and keep sperm count high with the 4th day being the day of highest sperm count and the 5th day dropping markedly in sperm count. i realize every guy's body is different. ive also heard to TTC (just to get pregnant) that you should have sex "regularly" (whatever THAT means..bc regular is diff to everyone). so the two ideas go together.

but where did this "4th day (of abstainence) is highest and 5th day is when sperm count drops dramatically idea come from? any studies or articles to back this up?

my husb while he may have an average to low avg sex drive, is just too busy/tired/stressed to constantly have sex (daily or every other day). so every 4 days is fine for him he says. but occasionally itll be every 3 days if he has a trip planned where we are not together. i just want to make sure 4 days isnt too long but i also dont want to "pressure" him into "oh its every3 days now."
but typically 2wice a week (every 4 days) is a LOT for him, esply with how stressfull he views our lives, with work and the kids.

need research to reassure myself!!
thx!

[rainbowflower]

when I was TTC and got my DS before I even knew about swaying I did research to see what the "optimum" frequency to DTD was.... all the advice I'd seen to get pregnant said to do it every other day, but I found out that the man's store of sperm refreshes about every 36hrs, so we DTD every 36 hours and conceived my son

[Zivic-Bubac]

Excellent question!
Thanks Rainbow for sharing your experience!
If I remember well, IVF candidates are giving sperm samples 48 hours apart? That means sperm number is at optimum or not?
I agree BDing every 36 hours gives you better chance to catch the egg :agree:

Last cycle we BDed every other day without results obviously and I plan to do it this cycle too + BDing night of the 1st +OPK.

[daisyfay311]

That's a great question! My doctor said every other day is optimal and I know my bff had a boy from dtd every day for like a week around O (ironically, she wanted a girl). I know tons of people with boys who just dtd as much as they could around O.

My DH is like yours, he is fine with once or twice a week and when I try to get him to every day he starts complaining that there's not any of him left! :) In July we tried every 36 hours for a total of three times leading up to O. That was a stretch for us and obviously got no results. In August I'm not sure when I O'd, I was trying to relax because I had been so stressed before. But we dtd on a Friday, Saturday, and Monday around the times I had ewcm. I would have liked to have dtd Tuesday too but he was just too tired. So I guess I will see in about a week and a half if that got us any results.

But I am ready to be pregnant, I've been doing this diet too damn long so there is no way I'm going to every 4 days at this point. I will try to stick with every other day or every 36 hours if I can get DH up for it. And anyway, timing is supposed to be pretty much debunked and the least important swaying factor anyway.

[skrimpy]

I'm not sure where it comes from, either. I know "every other day" is the standard advice given, esp. for DH's that might have lower sperm levels. Otherwise, every day while fertile is standard get pg advice.

I remember that on IG they had the cutoffs given for being 4 days. We didn't do that, though, we only had a day between releases for our successful boy sway... my DH likes frequent BD'ing :p Hopefully not TMI - but DH did have a release with my assistance NOT BD'ing two days before my O on that cycle, since we wanted to time to only BD on O day. But DH needed his relief. So anyways, that BD on O day was the one that got me pg with DS, but DH had only a 2 day buildup, not 4. That's just our personal experience!

[Flava]

It comes from IG guru and I don't think any studies back that up because then we would know about it by now right?Or atomic or someone else would have posted the studies here right?

Anyway I did it with the suppose to be awesome msu and no boy for me ...So Im doing the 2 days now for sure.

[Flava]

Excellent question!
Thanks Rainbow for sharing your experience!
If I remember well, IVF candidates are giving sperm samples 48 hours apart? That means sperm number is at optimum or not?
I agree BDing every 36 hours gives you better chance to catch the egg :agree:

hey Z why don't you post with us anymore? I moved in to post and you never came back. Hope you ok. Sorry for the bfn

Last cycle we BDed every other day without results obviously and I plan to do it this cycle too + BDing night of the 1st +OPK.
Hey Z why don't you post with us anymore in the blue group? I post in there now and you are gone ...hope you come back and tell us about the vacation. sorry for the bfn:sad:

[gizmo77]

so 2-3 days okay, or is the general consensus 2?
i thought maybe id bump it to every 3 days for now if dh can handle it then on attemtpt week do it every 2 days...whtat do u guys think?
so confused

[purplepoet20]

For us we dtd nearly everyday, more before DS1, but we would sometimes miss a day hear and there. Hubby also helped himself every morning unless we dtd in the morning. I think our diet played the biggest role in getting boys and not having any form of cutoff.

[nuthinbutpink]

All I can tell you is that when you do IVF, the doctor wanted my DH to release 2 days before ER. They want a fresh sample. They do tell us 2-4 days though. They are looking for count.

[SpicyTunaSushi]

Also- regular BD raises T in both men and women (if Oing), so it isn't a bad idea to do every other day. :)

[LolaInLove]

Yes, it came from IG. The "best sway plan" there was to time it so DH had released 4 days before you Oed and to just dtd once on O day. However, it became a HUGE NIGHTMARE to try to time that. Who knows exactly when you'd O? I was like random luck when people would hit that magic formula. Anyway, ITA with everyone here, I think timing doesn't matter. But, my doc also said every 48 hours is ideal for count.

[gizmo77]

see i conceived both DD's while DTD everyday from the time i saw creamy till i saw scant cm. however for DD1, we dtd everyday until i had to fly overseas..so it was like 4 nights (including time change) before we were able to DTD again..but sadly i dont know when iactually conceived (most likely a sperm was waiting while i was flying). on day one of me being away from DH..i noticed huge hanging Ewcm..but still no way to tell when i conceived.

so bc we dtd'd everyday for both DDs, i dont want to do thatthis time defly. and i probably dont want even every other day...so im hoping every 3 days is okay. my concern right now is highest sperm count..not so much getting pg (bc it will be 1st try..if i dont get pg after a couple months then i guess i can up it)...? what do u guys think? 3 days too late? i dont want them to get stale!!

[Flava]

gizmo-Im sure 3 day is A ok! I read that even in IVF the say 2-4 days so 3 still just right don't worry.

I also will do 2 or 3 days well see...No way I would do every day but 2-3 it's ok. I never did this for any of my girls so hope it give me a boy!

[LolaInLove]

Giz, 3 days is fine, most men won't go stale, but it may take longer to get pg if you maybe miss the egg on the O day try, kwim? The older swimmers may be gone by then, but may not. That's the advantage to doing it every day or every other day, you have a higher chance of getting pg....which is what I'm aiming for now. I would try the every 3 days and see if it works!

[atomic sagebrush]

Geesh I'm sorry I thought I answered this already.

I want to say in IG's defense that they never made anything up, it's all based on real studies out there somewhere...now whether those studies are good ones or if they really mean what people have interpreted them to mean, is open for debate.

There are studies and articles in abundance on this topic and that is also what has been advised by everyone's RE's as well. I have and have read the study somewhere that found that DTD from 2-5 days apart with the highest numbers and motility at day 4 (but the increase really was not that high or that much so I think everyone should feel free to DTD anywhere from 2-4 days and feel good about it. 5 days is a little too long to my way of thinking.) But I can't find it for right now and it's not coming up when I Google it for some reason...sigh...

[atomic sagebrush]

It comes from IG guru and I don't think any studies back that up because then we would know about it by now right?Or atomic or someone else would have posted the studies here right?

Anyway I did it with the suppose to be awesome msu and no boy for me ...So Im doing the 2 days now for sure.

It is on here somewhere, I am sure of it.

[atomic sagebrush]

so 2-3 days okay, or is the general consensus 2?
i thought maybe id bump it to every 3 days for now if dh can handle it then on attemtpt week do it every 2 days...whtat do u guys think?
so confused

Every 2-4 days is fine and perfect for blue. There was a very small increase between every 2 days and every 4 and so IG took that and ran with it but I personally feel that every 2 days is just as good, maybe even better because I think it allows you to have 2 attempts in your fertile window and increase sperm numbers and also raise odds of pg. Of course that is where I and IG will part company, because they think timing is important and I think sperm numbers are important.

[atomic sagebrush]

gizmo-Im sure 3 day is A ok! I read that even in IVF the say 2-4 days so 3 still just right don't worry.

I also will do 2 or 3 days well see...No way I would do every day but 2-3 it's ok. I never did this for any of my girls so hope it give me a boy!

I totally agree and I think this is a great plan. 3 days is right in the wheelhouse of perfection for blue!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, it came from IG. The "best sway plan" there was to time it so DH had released 4 days before you Oed and to just dtd once on O day. However, it became a HUGE NIGHTMARE to try to time that. Who knows exactly when you'd O? I was like random luck when people would hit that magic formula. Anyway, ITA with everyone here, I think timing doesn't matter. But, my doc also said every 48 hours is ideal for count.

I have heard a theory (this is not MY theory and I do not believe this to be true but I have heard it around often enough so I know some people believe this) that some members of IG actually prefer to have a really complicated-to-the-point-of-impossible sway so that it is very difficult to do it right and then they will not be blamed for opposites.

I suspect it's more that the natural tendency of humankind, when coming up with a system for doing something, is to try and include everything and to make everything "perfect" to the point of being undoable in the real world. Like when you try and make a chore chart for your kids to fill out and you end up including so much stuff that the kids simply can't do it all and you can't keep up with monitoring it all, then on the day that Cub Scouts meets and the baby is sick, everything all falls apart and it's just not possible to keep it up on a day to day basis. (or am I the only one who's ever done that?? ;))

Anyway, I think the gals on IG have always tried very hard to help come up with the perfect sway and make it as good as they can with the info that they believe in. But sometimes, good enough is good enough and it doesn't HAVE to be perfect. Trying to make it perfect only makes it impossible, KWIM ???

[swish]

Hi ladies, for what it's worth I conceived both of my boys dtd every other day up to ov and maybe the day after, I'm not sure!! I also had a boy friendly diet and snacked a lot! Gl to you all!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you swish!!!

[gizmo77]

thanks! since i havent had a prob last 2 times getting pg ill assume that this time (watch it wont be as fast tho) and plan to only dtd once closest to O, having my DH release via sex and condom 3 days prior. that way ill have 1-2 days give or take closest to O. this will be harrd for me, bc im not big on OPKs, dont understand them and not accurate enough for me. my body signs tell me more. but ibought a pack anyway and will use them for sept and oct cycles. thats the plan.

[atomic sagebrush]

Sounds like a great plan!! Good luck!

[gizmo77]

I have heard a theory (this is not MY theory and I do not believe this to be true but I have heard it around often enough so I know some people believe this) that some members of IG actually prefer to have a really complicated-to-the-point-of-impossible sway so that it is very difficult to do it right and then they will not be blamed for opposites.

I suspect it's more that the natural tendency of humankind, when coming up with a system for doing something, is to try and include everything and to make everything "perfect" to the point of being undoable in the real world. Like when you try and make a chore chart for your kids to fill out and you end up including so much stuff that the kids simply can't do it all and you can't keep up with monitoring it all, then on the day that Cub Scouts meets and the baby is sick, everything all falls apart and it's just not possible to keep it up on a day to day basis. (or am I the only one who's ever done that?? ;))

Anyway, I think the gals on IG have always tried very hard to help come up with the perfect sway and make it as good as they can with the info that they believe in. But sometimes, good enough is good enough and it doesn't HAVE to be perfect. Trying to make it perfect only makes it impossible, KWIM ???

interesting you say this bc i personally prefer to have strict guidelines and 'this way or bust' mentality. i like the discipline. however with IG i found some inconsistencies or lack of further info, etc. esply wheen theyd keep saying eat your cereal eat your cereal, then in the next sentence dont you dare touch milk. i was like..what? eat the cereal dry then? there was no information to justify them beingstrict. im not really bashing IG, but also with things like the minerals. now, atomic, if what you say about variety = boys is correct, certainly IG doesnt think so. the items they list are very not filling, and not much variety at all. i now know they meant cereal with 2% calcium rice milk or coffee creamer milk (your favorite food atomic), and just suggestions of what foods to eat, but almost EVERYTHING has calcium or magnesium in it. after all the research i did, i dont see how it is possible to be on that strict of a diet esply for months on end!
maybe i just dont WANT to tho.
but mostly i also think like ppl on here, that boys have been born for centuries even before the invention of coffee creamer.

now, i am using some of IG but mostly high everything, but its defly NOT a strict IG sway.

i agree with you on IG lords possibly making it the diet impossible on purpose...?

anyway, thank God for zivic-bubac wh brought me here.
sorry for off topic-ing.

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree with everything you say and I can't see how cutting out entire food groups could help with getting pregnant at all!!

[SpicyTunaSushi]

But, you do see a lot of 'boy moms' commenting that they eat a lot of this, and not a lot of that. So, for example, salty foods, since we all agree on that one. We don't know how much salty to eat, so IG created guidelines for that. I think it is helpful in a way.

I wish I had eating more protein- like someone said eat 100g a day. I now feel like I might have hurt my sway (though happy to have another dd) as a result. It is difficult to tell someone 'eat a lot of salt'. It is NICE to have some guidelines.

[SpicyTunaSushi]

But, you do see a lot of 'boy moms' commenting that they eat a lot of this, and not a lot of that. So, for example, salty foods, since we all agree on that one. We don't know how much salty to eat, so IG created guidelines for that. I think it is helpful in a way.

I wish I had eating more protein- like someone said eat 100g a day. I now feel like I might have hurt my sway (though happy to have another dd) as a result. It is difficult to tell someone 'eat a lot of salt'. It is NICE to have some guidelines.

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, my goal when I designed this swaying section was to give people an option to the IG style sway and I hope that is what I have done. If I at times have erred too far in the other direction, so be it. :)

[SpicyTunaSushi]

No its fine, this site is REALLY helpful. Balanced. I did find IG things helpful too. I think I saw on Begonia's sway that she was eating about 100g protein a day- and I thought wow, that is way way way more than me. So that number helped me know that maybe I wasn't eating as much protein as a thought.

[atomic sagebrush]

No its fine, this site is REALLY helpful. Balanced. I did find IG things helpful too. I think I saw on Begonia's sway that she was eating about 100g protein a day- and I thought wow, that is way way way more than me. So that number helped me know that maybe I wasn't eating as much protein as a thought.

But you see, (as per our discussion on another thread) more is more. It's the change in YOUR personal diet that matters, not your diet in comparison to any other person on the face of the globe. If you go from eating 60 g to eating 80 g, that still sways blue!!! There aren't these magic numbers that if you just choke down X amount of Nutrient Y, that will make you suddenly have a boy (though I know that's how the FGD claims to work.) All there are is goals to aim for and if you're moving in the right direction, that's good enough.

[SpicyTunaSushi]

Well hopefully that was true for me then! The only protein I was getting would be from carbs and dairy. Very little meat. But thanks for the reassurance. Sorry to hijack the thread!

[Flava]

Spicy- don't worry! I was always eating meat and still got 4 DD. Now I try to eat a lot more meat then before but who know maybe meat don't do anything for me to get a boy. it's not like everything works for everyone.

[LolaInLove]

To be honest, the only thing that I think makes a difference is the diet.....I am hoping that I have changed enough to be in a boy-zone....I used to be thin and eat very little, and now I am 35lbs heavier and eat a ton, although very healthy foods. I am banking on that being my secret boy-making weapon. That and I'm sure I've raised my testosterone level, evident through my behavior, lifestyle, and the hair that keeps coming back on my chin.

[LolaInLove]

Oh, but I forgot to add that ITA with what you wrote also, Gizmo. I personally didn't like IG because I felt that if I wasn't doing something "right" or 100% or all of the 7 swaying factors, that I was failing, and that sent me into an obsession of sorts....and trying to figure out WHY on earth you needed to do this or that or whatever, trying to figure out if it was really important. There was just not a lot of room for us lazy swayers, LOL. And I TOTALLY agree that the IG boy diet is terrible....I don't think you should cut out all of these healthy veggies and dairy because they have calcium....my body completely revolted on me because of that. I don't think you should skip a prenatal or drink a gallon of baking soda water each day, either. Anyway, my 2 cents.....and another reason I say THANK YOU to GD for this cool place to cyber-hang out.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you Lola, that means the world to me to hear!!!

I just want everyone to get their DG in a healthy way!! (and I mean both physically and emotionally.)