Embarrassing dh problems

[needmorepink]

This is embarrassing for dh. Lately he hasn't been able to preform in the bedroom. It takes him forever to get "it" up. Than when we start to dtd it just goes soft as a noodle. Than he has to start all over, trying to just get it up. Eventually he gets it back up and when we start to dtd again, it sometimes stops working again! Other times he is good and does his thing, but takes a LONG time to do it. It can take him anywhere from 1 hour- 3 hours to do his thing. I miss our 2 min quickies. Heck I would even take our 20-30 mins sessions we used to have. This hour-3 hours is tiring. We are not ttc, but still want an intimate life.

He hasn't changed his diet in anyway. He actually been eating more and gaining back the weight he was losing. He ran out of the antidepressants he was taking the month of June and got them refilled a month later in July. So he has been back on them for a month. He IS eating less meat. Actually no red meat in the last 4 weeks. He did eat some chicken last night. He drinks soymilk every now and than.

What could be doing this?

[Dana-Alicia]

Antidepressant are notorious for killing libido :( Not saying that these are the cause, but it seems likely as it is a very unlucky side-effect.

[atomic sagebrush]

Antidepressants can absolutely cause this to happen and I'd ask a doctor about if there is another option.

[needmorepink]

He was on the same medication for a few years and it didn't do that to him. He was only off it for a month due to running out.

[atomic sagebrush]

The body doesn't always behave predictably. It may be that going off and then back on to them changed something and now he's reacting differently.

If you don't think it's the antidepressants, drop the soy and give him more red meat and see if it gets better, but antidepressants, obesity and age are the biggest culprits. Not eating meat really just isn't that strong an effect and a small amount of soy here and there isn't either.

[needmorepink]

He said he is going to call the doctor on his next day off and tell them they need to give him something like the blue pill (viagra) or change his medication because its affecting his drive this time around. I don't think it is from not eating red meat. He is eating alot of peanut butter for protein/energy. When he drinks soymilk he drinks a quart to half a gallon which is 1-2 times a week. His doing, not mine. He used to do this with lactose free milk before swaying and I told him soymilk would be better for right now. So I wouldn't think it was that either. I was really not sure what it was. I thought it would be the medication more than anything, but through me off because it never affected him this way before. I was beginning to think maybe it was just me.

[needmorepink]

And he is still young. He's only going to be 30 in a month! He used to be super thin when we first got together 10 years ago. He was only 155lbs back than. Now he is 180lbs. He isn't obese by any means. He actually looks healthy now. He thinks that was another factor that got us our dd. lol releasing everyday and gaining weight. He was at 175lbs when we got pregnant with her.

[Atsaukina1]

Def. Talk to doc that is a real side effect of anti depressants.

[bunnywabbit]

Was he likes this before, or did it start to happen when toy started to sway? If so, the same thing happened to my DH. It turns it he said it had felt like an exam and had to perform so felt a bit pressured and anxious. Once we weren't swaying anymore he was right as rain!

[needmorepink]

Hmm that's a good question bunnywabbit. I'm not sure, because he finally got a prescription for refills the same time I started to go on the LE diet. He also started to switch to soymilk instead of the lactose free he was drinking. We not even swaying right now. Well we are, but not ttc yet. Last night he actually had a more reasonable finish time and stayed up the whole time! He however was playing with himself for an hour beforehand. He also made the comment that he didn't have soymilk for a few days and that whatever it does may affect him more than everyone else. We will see how the next few times go....Not going to jump to conclusions yet. If it goes back to how to was again I am going to assume it is the medication.

[Hex]

It could definitely be psychological like bunny suggested. My dh had that issue when we first got together and he was only 22-23. He also is quite big at about 260-270 lbs and not very tall, maybe 5'5" -5'6".. so in his case, weight probably plays a role too. When we first got together and started getting intimate I think he was just kinda shy and self conscious and had a hard time getting "ready" and staying "ready" in your case it could be a combination of the medication and that the atmosphere of making love has changed, maybe he feels nervous or pressured to perform to participate in the sway now. As well as speaking with his doctor to see if the medication could be causing this, you might also try to talk to him to see if he is feeling any psychological distress in the bedroom as far as nerves or pressure to perform. My dh and I talked about past sexual experiences that he had had that left a negative impact on him and I always am complimenting him on his body and he hasn't had as much as an issue anymore although sometimes he has days where it just won't cooperate, most days are fine now.

[atomic sagebrush]

fine to drop soymilk, if HE thinks it will help, even if it is just a placebo that may be what he needs to get back in the saddle. :)

[deaks66]

Was he likes this before, or did it start to happen when toy started to sway? If so, the same thing happened to my DH. It turns it he said it had felt like an exam and had to perform so felt a bit pressured and anxious. Once we weren't swaying anymore he was right as rain!

This exact same thing happened to my dh when we were swaying. Once I was pg he was all over me like a rash again!