New here :)

[MybabyE]

Hi! I am new here and still trying to figure everything out... I was on in gender before this, but haven't been very impressed with their help other there.

Anyway, my dh and I desperately want to have a GIRL for baby #1. Planned on ttc this month, but got stressed out with different information being given to me on ingender.

My cycles varied but are typically around 30-33 days. I am currently on Cd18, day 5 of ewcm/ watery, and had + opks starting yesterday afternoon. I still think there is a chance of o+12 this month, but that wasn't my original plan. I originally wanted to do a 2-3 day cut off with abstaining. I am still having ewcm/watery today and had a digital smiley but my regular opk is faint, what does this mean? Yesterday they were both positive at around 4pm.

I have been on cranberry, cal/mag, folic acid and baby aspirin. Dh has been on licorice root, cranberry and cal/mag. We have been on somewhat of the ingender diet, but not super strictly. I am already underweight and don't want to lose too much. Have basically cut out potatoes, tomatoes, salt as much as we can, no red meat, chicken sometimes, egg sometimes...
Have been drinking crystal light.

Should I stick with my original of cut off and wait for next month? Or try to go with o+12? I tried to read as much of the faq for here but it's so much!

Any suggestions would help!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome.

First things first - PLEASE drop either cranberry or baby aspirin. Taking them both together is dangerous. I would lose the cranberry and keep the aspirin as we have had better results with aspirin. Just wean off, don't stop cold turkey.

Ingender diet doesn't work and got nearly 25% lower odds of success (65% with LE Diet got girls, and this goes up to 70% when the diet is done 12 weeks or more) and only 40% of our swayers got girls on IG Diet.

O+12 doesn't work and gives very low odds of conceiving when done properly (most eggs are dead or incapable of being fertilized by that point) and since the rate at which CM dries up and cervix changes is different for every person every month anyway, the directions on Ingender notwithstanding - I had EWCM for 2 days after I ovulated when I got my DD and my O day was confirmed by ultrasound...if I had waited till CM was "sticky" that month then I would have no daughter today.

THe most important thing is to stick with one attempt. WE have gotten great results with one attempt, regardless of the day of intercourse. You're still in with a shot. You will O about 36 hours after that FIRST positive OPK. The digi OPK are set to give 2 days of Peak no matter what. You have probably not even ovulated yet.

If you want a cutoff, then wait a month and do a cutoff. I don't think cutoffs work, but at least you're in with a chance of conception with them. But that having been said, if you will promise to stick with just one attempt and want to try for an O+12, that's totally at your discretion - just count 48 hours from that first positive OPK and have attempt then. That ends up being O+12 for most people, and while it's not super high odds of conception, it's a much lower stress way of doing it than all the poking and prodding of the cervix (which doesn't work anway)

.

[MybabyE]

Yikes! What happens when taking both cranberry and aspirin together?!

What method do you suggest if not cut off or o+12? No timing at all?

Dh has been abstaining for 15 days (poor guy), is this too long? Expected o to be earlier...

I got my first pos opk yesterday around 4pm, just tested again today at 1:30pm, it's still positive. But I tested with clearblue digital (got a smiley) AND nondigital first response which was not positive and the line was quite faint. What does that mean?! Also just checked Cm (use a diva cup to collect because I never have much) and it is definitely more creamy than ew or watery like it was the past few days...does this mean I'm in o+12 territory? I figure we might as well try o+12 since we already missed the cut off, right?! If no pg then we will do cut off (or something else you suggest???) next month...

[atomic sagebrush]

It thins out your blood really a lot which can cause bleeding and bruising and really heavy periods. That doesn't seem like much, but the real problem is that that bleeding can also happen in your stomach or brain (which can be fatal) and if you were in an accident or had to have emergency surgery unexpectedly, you could end up bleeding to death because your blood won't clot normally. And worse, if you stop taking it suddenly, then your blood suddenly starts clotting TOO easily which again, is a potentially fatal situation. If either of them seemed to be working reliably, that would be possibly a chance that some peopel would be willing to take, but they just aren't working and it's not worth the risk involved.

THe instructions given on Ingender about when your CM goes creamy implying that it is the same amount of time t the hour for every person in every month - it just isn't true. WE have people on here who are getting eWCM for days after O and others who it dries up days before O. Cervix position all over the map as well. What we have to go off of, is the time since your positive OPK. This averages out to be about 36 hours (can be a little less or a little more) since your FIRST positive OPK. I think you're still in the window of opportunity, if you DO want to try for O+12 I'd just wait 48 hours since that first positive (meaning you'd be in 36 hours after first positive for probable O, then an additional 12 hours later = 48 hours). That's totally up to you.

I never recommend longer abstains than 14 days, but it's done now so I'd still have attempt if you are so motivated to do it.

Re timing - timing's been debunked both in terms of scientific research and our own experiences. Most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more timing opposites. What really works is having one attempt in the fertile window (regardless of WHEN this is). We don't know why this is, but it explains why O+12 and cutoffs ever seemed to work at all, because they're usually done with one attempt. So wahtever you guys decide to do both this cycle and moving forward, try to stick with the one attempt as long as possible.

Timing debunked here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html
O+12 here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/35539-no-12-a.html

[MybabyE]

So would you suggest doing an attempt any time between now and tomorrow at 4pm? Since I got first +opk yesterday at 4pm?

[atomic sagebrush]

As long as you stick with one attempt, I think that's a great way to get a girl. But you have to do what YOU feel is best - if you believe timing sways, and will live a lifetime of regrets if you TTC and get a boy (which is always possible even with the best of sways) then go with your heart and gut.

It's easy for some of us to not do timing because we already got boy(s) that way but I know not eveyrone is in that boat. :)

[MybabyE]

So you don't suggest focusing on timing at all? If I wait for next month and we abstain again, when would you suggest to bd? At first opk +?

Sorry for the question overload. I thought I had things figured out but feel so overwhelmed and confused again :(

Also, if I wait for next month, what are the diet guidelines you suggest? And would switching to those now help at all or be a waste? I'm underweight as it is so can't afford to lose more!

[atomic sagebrush]

I know it's really confusing when the rest of the world says one thing and then we say another. But the rest of the world is all just using and reusing the same warmed over 40-50 year old stuff that hasn't worked for virtually all of us on this site and we are trying to get rid of that which doesn't work, in favor of the stuff that does. :)

Timing doesn't work. One attempt does. So to my way of thinking it is best to have one attempt when you have a good chance of conception (NOT 3-4-5 day cutoffs) because esp. for people who have no weight to spare, you end up going on and on too long on diet and stopping ovulation.

There is no "magic" to DTD at pos OPK, because timing doesn't sway. It's just a convenient way to have that one attempt at a point in time that is decent odds of conception with that one attempt. Not too far before, not too close to O (because DTD right on O day or hours after is not good odds of conception either.) Best chance of conception with one attempt is 24-36 hours before ovulation which is right about when most people get that pos OPK. So that is why I recommend that.

Short version of LE Diet is here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/16780-low-everything-diet-nutshell-version.html Since you're underweight I would start off eating more like 1800-2000 cals and see how it goes. It's always possible to cut back more. What I DON'T want you to do is start off eating 1000 cals a day and no protein. Start off HIGHER than you think you need and ALWAYS respect those minimum levels, the minimums are actually more important htan the maximums because the minimums are for your health and the health of a future pregnancy.