Smack in the face after miscarriage

[momamia4]

I suffered a miscarriage at the beginning of September and I was due on April 21st (my DH's birthday). My cousin just announced that she's pregnant and she's due a week before I was. :( I am going to have to un-follow her on FB so I don't see her gender announcement. I know I'm going to freak if/when she announces it's a girl. :( I know it seems ludicrous for me to still have so much gender desire when I clearly didn't follow the "one attempt in my fertile window" rule. To be honest, I keep bouncing back and forth between just wanting a healthy baby and still really wanting my DD. DH has reassured me that if I am pregnant this month and it is a boy, we'll definitely do high tech for a DD. That is really reassuring for me and takes away a lot of anxiety around the outcome. I am just having a hard time with my cousins announcement. Thanks for letting me vent! :D

[purple]

It is really hard seeing others with due dates so close to the one you were going to have :( I have a friend who is due exactly two weeks before my January due date. I had to unfollow her from facebook as it was hard seeing her updates about how many weeks she is and thinking 'oh I would have been x weeks then'. I'm really happy for her as she tried for over a year including one unsuccessful ivf attempt but it is still hard to have that reminder.

I hope you have a sticky BFP soon so it won't be so hard seeing those posts!

[momamia4]

Thanks, purple! I really appreciate your acknowledgement and support. :) I hope you get your bfp soon too!

[url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4bb174]My Ovulation Chart[\url]

[Claire33]

I've been there too... I had 8 friends who announced pregnancies after I had my miscarriage and it took me 6 months to conceive again. It was a difficult time ...:sad: Luckily, fast forward 6 years and it is almost forgotten. I did end up with 2 more boys and lots of GD, but that's another story. I hope you get your DD one way or the other.

Hugs to you mama :bighug:

[momamia4]

Thanks, Claire! :) I am looking forward to the day when I can let it go.

Praying for a healthy sticky bean!

[ksmom]

I understand. The day after my miscarriage started, a lady in my mommy group announced she's pregnant. I've since stepped away from the group for awhile but they completely understand why. There are several other mommies in that group that are pregnant as well. Like you, there are times when I want to say screw swaying because I really want to get pregnant again but at the same time, I would LOVE to have a daughter. I hope we both get our sticky pink beans soon.

[momamia4]

ksmom, I'm just hoping that being on LE since January 1st, having clomid in the previous cycle, and conceiving right after a miscarriage are all enough to overcome my multiple attempts. I was thinking about it and the 4th attempt we used a non-sperm-friendly lube (& DH apparently doesn't know how to only use a tiny bit, lol!), so I don't think any of those swimmers even stood a chance. I'm looking at it as E3D plus one attempt at +opk, which is exactly what atomic told me to do. Since I had the tubal reversal, we (atomic and I) weren't sure if we needed more swimmers on board than the average swayer just to get preggers. The reversal already lowers my odds of conception to 60% of a normal person ttc. So, here's to hoping!

Praying for a healthy sticky bean!

[momamia4]

She just announced that she's having a girl. I am so hurt. I feel like she stole my daughter. This sucks so much.

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[Claire33]

So sorry sweeatheart... :bighug:

[Mulberry Smurf]

So sorry hun :( but your girl is still out there, that isn't your daughter, try hard to focus on what you've got right now. Really hurts though I know :( xx

[momamia4]

Thank you for your support. It really helps! :)

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[momamia4]

There's nothing harder than going to a baby shower when you're ttc. Especially when she's due a week before I was with my most recent miscarriage and with my desired gender. :(

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[atomic sagebrush]

:( I'm sorry momamia. I despise baby showers, I think they're like a bizarre ritualized torture.

(I will admit though your avatar made me laugh out loud - hopefully VERY soon!)

[momamia4]

Thanks you guys!! :)

Atomic, I'm glad I could make you laugh, lol! I'm trying really hard to stay positive/optimistic about this whole process. It's really difficult when everyone around me is getting pregnant and I'm not.

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[maidentomother]

I'm sorry hun. :(

I too LOLed when i first saw your avatar. Now I can't help imagining you look like that woman in the pic!

[momamia4]

Lol! I don't look like her. I do have brown hair though. :)

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[MrsSparkles]

Momamia,
I spent last week in tears after my best friend announced she is pregnant. And I haven't had a recent miscarrigae, so you must feel beyond sad right now.

Your DH saying that you can try High Tech is great, that means you almost certainly will get your little girl :)
May not feel like it now, but it will stop hurting.

[momamia4]

Thank you, MrsSparkles! I really appreciate your support. :)

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[Claire33]

I'm sorry you have to go to that baby shower, such emotional torture...

[Throwaway_panther]

I'm so so sorry for all you've been going through. :( You sound like such an amazing, kind person; I'm hoping so much for all of the best for you.

[momamia4]

Thank you so much Claire and throwaway_panther!! :)

My FF Chart: 4bb174 Ovulation charts on FertilityFriend.com (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/4bb174)