Pos OPK today. :(

[1moregirl]

What a shame DH isn't up for it as I just got first pos OPK for this cycle today. Bugger him! Maybe if I ply him with alcohol tonight he'll give in and agree to try. Do miracles really happen? Lol! But then, we have been BD every second day this cycle (not favourable for girl sway is it? Meant to be every 4 days) and have only been taking Equinol for 2 weeks, plus have gained a slight amount of weight since before Christmas and only just started fertility diet. What do you think Atomic?

[maidentomother]

Have you been BDing protected? I.e. With condoms or him pulling out? If so you can totally have one attempt now. The E4D is when you are having unprotected sex and he ejaculates inside. How long have you been doing any type of pink diet?

[1moregirl]

Hey Hun. Thanks for replying. We have been using condoms. I just had McDonalds for lunch today (cheese burger, fries and a Coke) - big oops. I haven't really been on a strict diet as yet but was meant to be starting the Atomic Fertility Diet. I had been starting to cut down on my bread intake as often have 4 slices of wholemeal bread per day, and only have pasta once a week usually. I had been just focusing on eating healthy since my miscarriage in August and I also have had issues with chronic diarrhoea (sorry for tmi). I am seeing my GP tomorrow to get a referral to a gastroenterologist to try and work out what is causing this issue. It could be due to antidepressant meds I take or a parasite infection that I have (yet I have had this infection on and off for a couple of years now and apparently it is common for people to have it and never know as they never have any symptoms, yet some people can be symptomatic). Plus I have only been taking the ubiquinol for a week or two now. I think I would feel more comfortable waiting til the next cycle. That gives me a bit more time to try and sort out this health issue (have had it for quite a while now) - had gastroscope and colonoscopy in 2014, plus had gallbladder removed last March and having been having ongoing issues with the trots. Lol!

[maidentomother]

I'd probably wait then too. Good luck with your health issues, I hope they are nothing serious.

[atomic sagebrush]

If hubby isn't in agreement and not willing to BD unprotected then I think we're out for this month anyway.

I do not recommend you guys skipping ANY months for swaying as per the reasons I've already mentioned. If he does give in then I'd absolutely still try. YOu never know when it's the last fresh egg in the carton. :)

[1moregirl]

I thought it might've happened last night. We were BD unprotected and I used a bit of preseed. We stopped and started for ages and then he went and put the condom on and he mentioned to me something like "I know your tricks now." That then lead to a full on discussion of one last baby and ended up with him still dead-set against it and me getting upset and angry and going off to sleep in my little girl's bed with her for the night. He even mentioned us going to see a counsellor about it. And I ended up saying "since you're so anti kids I may as well take the ones we've got then and just leave." This shocked him a bit and he told me I couldn't do that (and I really wouldn't do it either as it would be selfish of me to deprive my kids of their father over this disagreement). I probably didn't handle the situation very maturely, but then neither did he. He just kept bring up reason after reason why he didn't want another one. This just sucks and today I feel more heartbroken than ever that I lost the last one I was pregnant with as I felt so sure it was a girl and that was probably my last chance right there. What if I end up resenting him for not granting me this one last try? I tried to tell him that it might not even work anyway but that I was just desperate to try. What do we do when we are both as stubborn and headstrong as each other? I told him we need to compromise somehow - and that I would do absolutely everything around the house by myself. I also told him I would approve him to get vasectomy after this last try. But nothing works with him. He is deadset against it and I don't think I'm going to be able to change his mind. It really feels awful when you are not on the same page as your partner and not getting their understanding or support with something. Plus right now is the closest to a new moon that I'm probably going to be Oing near, even though I know many don't believe in that. :(

[essnce629]

Sounds like my husband. I'm so sorry. I have no advice though. My DH is against any more kids too and has been using the pull out method ever since my miscarriage 15 months ago. I just hope that one day one sperm will make it through, but it's not looking good. Mine even went for a vasectomy consultation last year, but didn't mention it after that. :(

[maidentomother]

essnce, can you get your DH to BD 2x in a row WITHOUT urinating in between? If so that is your best shot. If he produces precum even better!

Another idea is...where does he ejaculate when he pulls out? Can you sneakily inseminate yourself with it? I don't have all that much experience with PO but usually it would end up on my stomach and that is something to work with.

Another, way less ethical idea would be to get him drunk and hope he forgets to PO. I'd also try BDing when he's asleep, he may think he's dreaming. I can think of even less ethical things but I'll stop there!

[1moregirl]

Sounds like my husband. I'm so sorry. I have no advice though. My DH is against any more kids too and has been using the pull out method ever since my miscarriage 15 months ago. I just hope that one day one sperm will make it through, but it's not looking good. Mine even went for a vasectomy consultation last year, but didn't mention it after that. :(

Oh essence - I'm sorry for you also. I feel guilty now and a bit ashamed about my situation when I at least have 2 boys and a girl in the mix. Plus you are still sooo young and plenty of time left. What a shame your DH can't chance his mind. Plus we don't want to end our baby making days on a downer after experiencing a miscarriage. It is sooo difficult a situation and you feel quite alone when you're not on the same page as your DH. When I was at my doctor appointment today I told her about my disagreement with my DH the night before and how he was very anti one last try for a baby and she shocked me by saying "you could always put a hole in the condom" and then quickly slapped her hand over her mouth as if she wasn't meant to say it. She said because the sperm are so tiny you can prick a hole in a condom without Your DH seeing it and they (or at least some of them) will make it through. I was a bit sneaky last time (when I conceived in June - and it ended in Aug) and I told my DH it was safe to BD without a condom when it was actually the right time. I didn't want to go that way again because the guilt really weighed heavily upon me. It is just annoying how inconsiderate men can be at times.

[trifecta]

If your husband is not on board with a fourth child I think you'll need to find a way to put the idea of another behind you.

At some point all of us must confront the end of childbearing and find new things to look forward to as parents of older children. It's something I've discussed (helpfully) with my therapist and I encourage you to see it as the rite of passage it is.

It isn't the end of the world not to have quite as many children as you had envisioned. I know you have a daughter but for those of us who don't end up with both sexes, myself included, I want to say it also isn't the end of the world not to have a child of one sex or the other. Most of us are able to move on from it and in the end we might not have any other choice.

I wanted very, very much, for its own sake, to have a daughter but when I really examine it I know there were other less-healthy reasons for it: fear of the the next phase of my life, of going back to work, of old age.

I know it's hard and you have my sympathy but please keep in mind that it is probably more common than not to go through this experience. On some level most of us have the desire for more children regardless of how many we are already responsible for until menopause and probably even beyond.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think that if DH shows up and BD unprotected, then that's all we can really hope for without crossing any ethical lines. Beyond that, that's out of my scope here and I just hope and pray that everyone's hubby gets on board with the program right quick.

[1moregirl]

I'm being treated with Flagyl at the moment and have an appointment this afternoon with a gastroenterologist so really have to work on just getting my health on track right now anyway. Maybe he'll come around...I don't know...but if not, I will just have to find a way to get past wanting to try for one last baby and focus on the three cherubs we are blessed with and the next phase of life I guess of watching them grow and develop into teenagers and then adults. I appreciate everyone's point of view here, I really do. :)