Timing question

[1moregirl]

If I am To Bad every 3 days is that the same as every second day - Mon, Wed, Fri, etc? Or is every 3 days like this - Mon, Thurs, Sun, Wed, etc? If I BD every 4 days is it - Mond, Thurs, Sun, etc? Or is it Mon, Fri, Tues, etc? Sorry in advance for all these questions. I think I'm getting the last minute jitters. I'm expecting AF to arrive tomorrow and am feeling nervous about the first attempt. I'm worried I haven't been on the fertility diet long enough, or been on the ubiquinol for long enough, and about another miscarriage. I'm to stay positive but it's not easy for me as I'm a bit of a stresser at the best of times. And for the next 7 days DH has time off work so he's not going to be cycling every day so I'm worried that will not play in our favour. Although, by the time I O he will be back at work and cycling again by then. It's just sooo much pressure when it is down to your last chance ever.

[purple]

Every 2nd day is the same as every other day so 1 day between attempts without BDing.

Every 3 days would have 2 days between attempts without any BDing.

Every 4 days you have 3 days in between.

Do you use Fertility Friend or similar to track cycles? It makes it easy to get an overall view of what you are doing.

[1moregirl]

Thanks Purple. I thought that's what it meant but just wanted to clarify since our first attempt is rapidly approaching. Yes I do use Fertility Friend as well to record everything. Only got one pop at this so think I'm feeling the pressure. Which pattern do you think is best for girl swaying? Is every second day or every other day considered more boy friendly? I think we will do every 3 days as if we go any longer without BD DH won't be happy. Lol! Thanks again. :)

[purple]

I think the best is 1 attempt at OPK+ but some women find OPK's stressful or unreliable so then every 4 days is a good option.

If you only have the one shot then I would aim for the attempt at OPK+.

Every second day is pretty boy friendly. I'm personally avoiding this option at the moment as that is how I got my boys but as I get closer to the last month we plan to ttc we will probably give it a go. We plan to stop trying by July/August this year as we want to move on and concentrate on enjoying life with just our boys if its not meant to be.

[1moregirl]

Thanks soooo much for your opinion Purple. Are you going to BD every 3 or 4 days? I'm just finding that bit tricky to decide on. When do you plan on starting trying Hun? Yes, well, DH has only agreed to the one shot here, so that's all I've got. If it doesn't work, I'll have no choice but to move on and just enjoy life with the three beautiful children we've already been blessed with. But I do think It will be a bit hard if I don't get a BFP. When you have your heart set on something and you really desperately want it, then it's hard to let that go. I envy ladies who get to start having babies when they are young and I wish I'd been lucky to meet the right man and start younger.

[maidentomother]

What purple said!

[purple]

I have been trying since Feb last year. I did get pregnant but miscarried, I would have been due this week :(

I have mostly aimed for an attempt at opk+ but sometimes do e4d or e3d.

[1moregirl]

Purple - sorry about your loss hun and being due this week. I'm sure come the 19th March and just the start of March I will be sad again remembering that little baby that could've been. I hope and pray you get a BFP very soon and a healthy pink bundle. Xx

[atomic sagebrush]

I feel like I already answered this in another thread so I'll refer you to my reply in one of your other threads.

Sperm take 72 days to form and cycling during that time will sway pink. That cannot be undone in 7 days' time.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks soooo much for your opinion Purple. Are you going to BD every 3 or 4 days? I'm just finding that bit tricky to decide on. When do you plan on starting trying Hun? Yes, well, DH has only agreed to the one shot here, so that's all I've got. If it doesn't work, I'll have no choice but to move on and just enjoy life with the three beautiful children we've already been blessed with. But I do think It will be a bit hard if I don't get a BFP. When you have your heart set on something and you really desperately want it, then it's hard to let that go. I envy ladies who get to start having babies when they are young and I wish I'd been lucky to meet the right man and start younger.

I keep getting confused - you're only doing one unprotected attempt, right???

Then it DOES NOT MATTER if you DTD every 3 days or every 4. That only matters when your attempts are UNPROTECTED.

[1moregirl]

I was thinking of more than one attempt only IF DH agrees. But I guess it only takes one shot to get pregnant so will make it at first pos OPK.

[atomic sagebrush]

IF DH agrees absolutely be in with more than one attempt!!!

TRUST ME, if he agrees and then you start bein' all like "we gotta do this, that, and the other thing" he WILL change his mind again. We need him to show up and do his bizness and DO NOT interfere with that. You can get a girl no matter what. But if he won't agree, you CAN'T.

[1moregirl]

Thanks Atomic. That's great advice. Even last night in bed he was just about to 'do his thing' and I told him it was ok we didn't need a condom as was expecting period and all of a sudden....FLOP. He completely lost his erection all of a sudden which NEVER happens. So now I'm worried this is going to happen when it comes to our attempt. I will just have to try not to put any pressure on him I guess. Any other advice?

[maidentomother]

LOL I'm sorry....have had that happen (during attempts!) and it is a huge hassle. The FLOP really cracked me up though!

[atomic sagebrush]

I just wouldn't say anything about it. He has to be willing and able to do his part and if he isn't, I am worried there will not be any coming back from that. I know I was telling you not to skip a month for any reason but this is a good reason.

[1moregirl]

It's all good Atomic. I got AF yesterday afternoon so will definitely be going ahead with the attempt. I'm just not going to make a big deal about it and hopefully the night of O he'll be able to perform. He never usually has any problems so hopefully the other was just a one off. I might even give him a couple of beers or glass of red that evening with dinner to help him mellow out a bit?

[maidentomother]

Alcohol can help but too much can cause issues too, but you know your DH. If it's possible for him to not know wheh you're fertile, that can really help take off pressure but that's probably impossible in your situation,

[1moregirl]

Thanks Maiden. Maybe just one drink to help him relax, but not too much that results in 'the FLOP.' Bahahaha! And yes, I may just not tell him it's the big attempt until afterward...that way he might not get any performance anxiety. I was also just wondering if maybe taking the ubiquinol has helped with my egg quality and that's reflected in a longer LP than what I usually have. Before this month I was only having 12 LP length, which I know is not drastic but to go to 15 might just mean everything is balancing out better? I really hope so. If I get a BFP this time I will get my doc to do hormone tests as well to make sure I'm not low on progesterone or anything like that. I'm also having a transvaginal ultrasound next week (just prior to O I think) by a gynaecologist - just a checkup really since I've had that diarrhoea issue so maybe she/he will give input as to how things are looking in there.

[signingmommyfor3]

This goes along with the comment you made about DH wearing condoms every time except agreed for 1 attempt and Atomic addressing men's in ability to understand our limited fertility and ticking clocks. I know you are concerned about getting your BFP with just 1 attempt and I know that its a little sneaky,if you don't want to (I wouldn't do it myself) or think i'm crazy just say so including you Atomic... but is there a way you can get lubricant and spermicide free condoms since he will only do 1 time unprotected, and save the swimmers from the condom and insert yourself. Just suggestion so you could get BFP, but again don't want to sound crazy or sneaky either. *I'm on pain meds and ivs so I am thinking crazy about getting my own BFP after D&c

[1moregirl]

Signingmommy - we do have some Skyn condoms that are spermicide free but I don't know how I would go about that without him knowing. It sounds totally unethical but i had already thought of putting a hole in some condoms too but he would know. He is sooo anal about the condoms. I think he even checks them as he is taking them off on the toilet afterwards. I have joked with him before saying condoms are not 100% foolproof so he prob thinks I'll resort to that. Lol! I think I will just go with the one attempt and see what happens. If I got up to tricky business prior to our one off attempt he might crack it and change his mind altogether. Are you back to trying again yet Hun or taking a little break after your D & C?

[signingmommyfor3]

It does sound a little unethical. You don't want to jeopardize your 1 attempt, just make sure you have some good EWCM so those swimmer stick. We are trying again immediately since dr said it was okay and he expected us to be pregnant again soon. Only problem is that I hoped to O the end of this month/early Feb but ended up in the hospital today and staying overnight with a 103.2 fever and severe pain resulting from infection after the D&C. They checked and I am all clear just the oral antibiotics are not doing the trick so got me on IV antibiotics and pain meds. This will prob push O back. Surprisingly DH told me that he promised we would have 1 more baby and he is not going to go back on that (took him 4 years but he accepted it and was so excited and ready). We also told the boys today and two older ones were pretty upset and the younger one was okay being he had a vanishing twin and understood it happens.

[1moregirl]

Oh no SigningMommy - that's noo good. Hope the IV antibiotics work quickly so you can get well and get home to DH and your boys. I was in hospital for 2 nights and hated being away from my kids. It was probably due to hormones as well I think as when losing a baby you just want extra cuddles with the precious children you already have. Yep - I found the worst part was breaking the news to the kids. Horrible. Our little girl, 5, took it the hardest as she really had her heart set on a baby sister. Plus our 3 yr old kept pointing to my tummy and saying "no baby any more?" For weeks after which would just bring me to tears every time. Anyway, I hope you heal well Hun and will be praying like mad that your next baby sticks. Xx

[signingmommyfor3]

Thank you! I agree definitely is hard for me to be away from my family and when they came to visit I cuddled with all of them. Hard for DH too because he wants to be with me but he is with the boys. Its nice to have you ladies to talk to since DH doesn't like to talk about these things being a man and being a military service man he keeps things to himself. I really hope you get your BFP with a sticky bean!!! and if you don't hope that DH gives you a chance again, give him some time.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think that if DH shows up to DTD unprotected knowing that pregnancy is always a possibility - that is ok. Anything beyond that is crossing lines that I don't feel comfy encouraging people to do.