Moms of girl(s) need your positive story!

[cheriex333]

I've been struggling with extreme gender disappointment for the past two weeks since finding out my first (and ONLY) will be a girl. I have ALWAYS wanted a boy ever since I was young and DH and I agreed we will only have one kid.

Can any posters who have a daughter (or multiple) please share what they love about having a girl? If you have both, which do you find easier to raise?
Also I'm interested in hearing from posters who wanted a boy, had a girl, and their honest feelings once baby arrived.

[nuthinbutpink]

I don't want this to turn into a what's awesome about girls/boys post. I think both genders are great and at the end of the day, it is a child, a piece of you, that you bring into this world and help become something.

There are tons of things great about girls. There are tons of things great about boys.

I wanted a boy with my first child. I thought that having a boy was "better" for my first child because you could carry on the family name, etc. Now, fast forward 13 years and my daughter is just the best thing that happened. I cannot imagine days without her and I realize this is how it was meant to be for me. I wasn't given what I wanted, I was given what I needed.

Kids are hard to raise, period. Boy or girl, it is hard as hell and a huge responsibility. Having a vagina or a penis doesn't make it harder or easier for the mom. When they are happy, you are happy. When they are sad, you are sad. Whey they cry, you will cry with them. That's what a mom does and you will fall into the role with grace I am sure. Things change when you give birth and you see that helpless little face.

[maidentomother]

Not to start another debate altogether...but I would seriously reconsider having only one child, I don't think it's good for the child. Just my opinion though I have no kids yet.

[BunnyGirl19]

I'm curious as to why you feel it's not good for the child to be an only child.

[Bambi_twins]

Awwww I have only ever wanted girls and am now pregnant with my 2nd girl that I made sure was girl through having IVF with gender selection.

I've never wanted a boy, so can relate to your gender preference but not to wanting a boy.

My daughter is so amazing I can't even begin to list it all her. I am a very girly mumma and we go horse riding together, we sing, we dance, we shop, we spend hours and hours chatting and doing arts and crafts. Girls I find are much easier going. More relaxed quicker to advance both socially and educationally. (This isn't my opinion it's proven through many social studies) They will sit quietly for hours and entertain themselves whereas I've always found boys to be unruly, unsociable and loud!

Either way you will love your girl & the bond when you grow older and you have a best friend, confident & grandchildren from her will be amazing. Boys always leave and get married girlies will always come back to their mummas.

I'm biased though because I love girls and my experience with little boys and boys in general is not positive my brother is a sod too!!

There are many girl mummas on here who will reassure you she will be the light in your life!

Also my daughter is nearly 6 and is very happy being an only child (she doesn't know I'm pregnant yet) she does ask for a bro or sis occasionally but on the whole is perfect as a singleton so don't get caught up in having another just for her if you feel that's not right for your family.

Wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy xxx


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[jennypenny]

Wow, what an ignorant response bambi_twins!!

You obviously have not spent enough time with boys to be able to state nonesense about boys being unruly, unsociable and loud! My sons are the exact opposite of what you have described.

Also, as a primary teacher, I know that saying boys are not as socially and educationally advanced is an extremely narrow minded and cruel idea. I have never seen any difference educationally between genders and you have been very misguided to believe there is.

The statement that boys leave there mothers is just pathetic. It is all about the relationship you have with your child that creates the lasting relationship into adulthood. My husband and brother speak to their mothers daily and visit them all the time.

I do not think that this was intended to be a thread to bad mouth boys! So please stop doing so!

Not impressed!!


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[Bambi_twins]

I was reassuring the original poster about her disappointment in having a girl and telling her the wonderful experience with my daughter & my first hand experience with boys.

If your a teacher you will be well aware in the difference of male vs female especially in young years learning and should adapt your teaching accordingly there have been extensive studies that prove the differences between the genders and why girls outperform boys initially both socially and educationally it is to do with a difference in their brains.

Here is a very interesting article on the difference in teaching girls & boys: Educational Leadership:Closing Achievement Gaps:With Boys and Girls in Mind (http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/nov04/vol62/num03/With-Boys-and-Girls-in-Mind.aspx)

I didn't just make that up if you do a simple google search it throws up years of articles & research by scholars. This is why also girls and boys in single sex schools tend to achieve better than in mixed sex schools because the way of teaching should be adapted for the differences in their brains.


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[nuthinbutpink]

You don't have to be mean to be honest. Girls can be total assholes, loud and obnoxious. Girls can be very mean.

My son is very bright, quiet, sweet. Kids are not one size fits all. You can temper your response and not turn this into a boy versus girl. Both genders are great and wanted. I don't care what studies say- all HUMANS are unique.

[Bambi_twins]

I don't think I was being mean. Merely stating my experience and why I have a preference of girls vs boys.

Yes all humans are unique obviously that's why we all have a unique DNA pattern to us.

But to say there is no difference in boys vs girls educationally is simply wrong. Coming from a teacher is quite worrying!


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[jennypenny]

Oh dear I hope for your sake u never have a grandson!! Poor soul!!

Boys are not some sort of mutant species of human that should be bred out.

The information you are quoting is extremely outdated and incorrect.


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[nuthinbutpink]

It is equally disturbing for a teacher to have a preference when it comes to gender. I certainly understand desiring a boy or girl- that's why this site exists, but I do not have a preference when it comes to loving my children. My love does not have a preference. It's sad to me that a teacher would generalize human beings in such a manner. Studies do not tell us everything.

[Bambi_twins]

Think you have all gone off topic here. Original poster wanted a boy & is having a girl & wanted to be reassured how lovely girls are.

I posted about my wonderful positive experience with my daughter to show her girls are wonderful, and reassure her she'll be just perfect with a little pinkie.

Now all your doing is promoting boys to someone who is struggling to come to terms with having a girl. Not the most sensitive thing you can do to someone who is heartbroken at the moment!


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[maidentomother]

Bunny, a thorough explanation would probably not be good for my sway. But I think having siblings, preferably somewhat close in age, generally produces a better person. I was an only child until age 7, then left home and so my brother was effectively raised an only child too. We both share an abundance of 'only child traits', and I wish we didn't.

I'm not saying all only children are bad people, far from it, but I think only children are more likely to have certain negative personality traits. I really wonder about China...

[nuthinbutpink]

Bambi, there are several hundred thousand people that read this. First thing I said was I didn't want this to be a boy vs girl post. I clearly state both genders are great.

You bashed boys in the process. Awesome.