Anyone had to convince their husband?

[mummyoffour]

Hey everyone, so I am a mum to 4 boys and really would love a girl and I know my husband does too. But we had kind of decided 4 would be enough (while thinking of course atleast 1 of those 4 would be a girl!) so I just can't get the feeling out of me that our family isn't complete and i really do think its because we don have a girl, I never thought I would have no daughters, everyone else around me seems to get one of each gender! I keep hearing you know when you have completed your family and I just don't have that! I really want another baby regardless of gender but I am also worried I won't ever get the feeling that we are complete until we have a girl. Now I know my husband would defiantly not be ok with us keeping having more and more babies until we have a girl but Im pretty sure I can convince him to have one more. I think I just will need to have a good talk to him about how big my desire is to have a girl but I know he will also come back saying but theres no guarantee we will get a girl which of course is true.Also I oddest think he will be into swaying if he has to do/change much (we tryd for our 4th but had a few miscarriages and gave up then so I think he wouldn't want to do it again), so Im hoping I can do the swaying and that that will be enough!?
So what Im wondering is has anyone also had to convince your husband/partner to tic again and how did you go about it, any advice? I just think that we will never regret any child we have!
Thanks

[netti02]

Hi mummyoffour

Im in the same boat. 4 boys, thought at least 1 would be a girl. I actually spoke to a psychic-medium and shes adamant that my 5th will be my girl. I did a light sway, focused on what i could do and hoping for the best.

Initially it did take a few months of talking through my feelings with dh about ttc again. The biggest thing for him was that this is no guarantee this will be a girl. High tech isn't an option for overseas access etc. I explained to him how i felt many talks were had and ill be 17 weeks soon with an ultrasound on Saturday to confirm gender.

This is our absolute last baby though so im crossing everything. Ive certainly got in my mindset though a healthy baby before anything. Ive bargained with myself a grand daughter box if i cant use any of the girl stuff this time.

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess

[1moregirl]

Netti - congratulations on your pregnancy. Not sure if I've seen any of your posts as I always seem to be on the 'older Mum' ones. Lol! You'll have to let us know the results to your scan. You must be very excited and I'll send you some of my pink dust, even though it seems I might only have a bit of that. My mother had 4 of us girls and her twin sister had 4 girls as well. However, my Auntie went back a 5th time, no swaying, and had a boy. So it certainly can happen. Good luck to both of you lovely ladies and I hope you get your girl. Xx

[netti02]

Thanks 1moregirl. Im in the due date group for July and i have an ultrasound thread (no decent nub pics but sonographer seemed to think boy) that ill update aswell.

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess

[mummyoffour]

Hi mummyoffour

Im in the same boat. 4 boys, thought at least 1 would be a girl. I actually spoke to a psychic-medium and shes adamant that my 5th will be my girl. I did a light sway, focused on what i could do and hoping for the best.

Initially it did take a few months of talking through my feelings with dh about ttc again. The biggest thing for him was that this is no guarantee this will be a girl. High tech isn't an option for overseas access etc. I explained to him how i felt many talks were had and ill be 17 weeks soon with an ultrasound on Saturday to confirm gender.

This is our absolute last baby though so im crossing everything. Ive certainly got in my mindset though a healthy baby before anything. Ive bargained with myself a grand daughter box if i cant use any of the girl stuff this time.

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess


Thanks for replying netti02 :D
Congratulations on your 5th baby and goodluck for the ultrasound on Saturday, I hope it goes well :D
Thats what I think I need to do is talk it through with him but I think I will wait a few months before I start as our youngest is only a few months old and he told me when i told him the week after he was born that I didn't feel like we are complete that he doesn't want to event think about it at that stage (newborn and all). So I think if I wait till its easier with our baby he will be more open to it. But thats what I think will be the biggest thing for him to, that theres no guarantee that it will be a girl and then he will worry that I will want to keep having more till we have a girl. Before he said yes to you and you told him how you felt how did he react and what did he say? I just think I really need to get my feeling about how strong I feel about it across. We can't do high tech either, would be amazing too but its not available where we live and also we couldn't afford it.

Good luck again, Ive got my fingers crossed for you :D

[mummyoffour]

Netti - congratulations on your pregnancy. Not sure if I've seen any of your posts as I always seem to be on the 'older Mum' ones. Lol! You'll have to let us know the results to your scan. You must be very excited and I'll send you some of my pink dust, even though it seems I might only have a bit of that. My mother had 4 of us girls and her twin sister had 4 girls as well. However, my Auntie went back a 5th time, no swaying, and had a boy. So it certainly can happen. Good luck to both of you lovely ladies and I hope you get your girl. Xx


I keep hearing about people who get their girl on their 5th one, but at this point Im kind of thinking maybe my body doesn't carry girls or my husband doesn't produce girls at all. And people love to tell me how once you have so many of one sex you have no chance of an opposite! But then reading on here it seems possible! I really hope so!

[netti02]

He was not all for it in the beginning. He felt like he was done but i told him i still felt that i needed to try one more time. He was up in the air a few months but then we talked more and here we are. Our youngest was about 5 months old at the time. Initially he kept worrying about the chances of it being a boy and i could still feel the same way etc. But ive given it my all and if i don't get a dd after 5 kids then its just not meant to be. Hes relaxed a little at the idea that it could be a boy so thats reassuring but im crossing everything.

I certainly feel like this is our last baby now. With cars and bedrooms etc but even in my heart. Im too exhausted to do this again 😂

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess

[netti02]

I keep hearing about people who get their girl on their 5th one, but at this point Im kind of thinking maybe my body doesn't carry girls or my husband doesn't produce girls at all. And people love to tell me how once you have so many of one sex you have no chance of an opposite! But then reading on here it seems possible! I really hope so!
It certainly is possible thats whats giving me hope 😂😂 my husband is ine of 3 biys his father an only child so its been about 80 years or so since a girl has been born on that side of the family. Fx for a miracle

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes a lot of us had to convince our hubbbies and LOTS LOTS of us had hubbies who wouldn't help a sway.

I pretty much just convinced my husband to not try, but not prevent, and prayed like a madwoman while I did LE Diet and God smiled on me. Hubs wasnt super thrilled about it but he adores her and never complains at all any more.

[atomic sagebrush]

I keep hearing about people who get their girl on their 5th one, but at this point Im kind of thinking maybe my body doesn't carry girls or my husband doesn't produce girls at all. And people love to tell me how once you have so many of one sex you have no chance of an opposite! But then reading on here it seems possible! I really hope so!

Neither of these things is possible. There is no known way that people cannot carry girls, and also it's impossble for men to not make X sperm. Men are made of XY cells that divide to make half X and half Y sperm. ALL MEN make both X and Y

[1moregirl]

Yes a lot of us had to convince our hubbbies and LOTS LOTS of us had hubbies who wouldn't help a sway.

I pretty much just convinced my husband to not try, but not prevent, and prayed like a madwoman while I did LE Diet and God smiled on me. Hubs wasnt super thrilled about it but he adores her and never complains at all any more.

That's lovely Atomic...that your husband just adores your little girl. You see, I know my DH would be exactly the same if we had one last child, no matter what the gender. Last time when we conceived he wasn't thrilled at all, but he quickly got used to the idea and when we miscarried he was genuinely upset and cried with me during that last ulstrasound. I envy ladies who have such supportive husbands who agree happily to 4 or more kids. :(

[atomic sagebrush]

Do you think that may be at least some part of why he's reluctant, 1more?? I know that is one thing my husband took very seriously. He felt like we had our first two to adulthood safely but he worries a lot about something happening to one of our little ones because he doesn't think he could handle it (emotionally, I mean)

[Little Lunasa]

I also had to work hard to convince my hubby to ttc a third. Our two boys were 7 and 9 and in my husbands head that was it, we were finished. He was 44 so not thrilled at facing all the newborn stuff again. But fast forward to now and a super cute 18 month old who has her daddy wrapped around her little finger and he wouldn't change a thing!


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[atomic sagebrush]

AAA LL nice to "see" you again! OH your avatar! What a doll!!!

[Beau82]

I'm in a very similar boat! I have 4 awesome little boys and when my youngest was about 6 months old, I started having those feelings. My husband was adamant about being done as soon as we found out via ultrasound that #4 was a boy. I begged him to not book the vasectomy until I was positive we were done. I'm the same as you, I just don't "feel done". And I really think I would be ok if the next was another boy if I knew I did all the swaying that was possible for me. I feel like I would regret it if I never actually tried/swayed for a girl.
I talked to my husband and he agreed that we wouldn't do anything permanent just yet, we would just "be careful". My youngest is now 17 months old. I haven't pushed the issue but I have made little comments here and there just so he knows that I still want a 5th. Giving him lots of time with my sister's sweet little 2yo girl and our friends' daughters has helped :wink: He has come around for sure but he hasn't officially said "let's start trying". I've noticed that he's been wearing the boxer-briefs I bought him a lot more lately though so maybe that's a step!

My advice is to have a heart to heart with your husband and just let him know that you aren't ready to say never yet. Offer to take birth control if he really persists. My husband said no but I did offer to do that much so that he wouldn't have to worry too much every time we had sex.

[mummyoffour]

He was not all for it in the beginning. He felt like he was done but i told him i still felt that i needed to try one more time. He was up in the air a few months but then we talked more and here we are. Our youngest was about 5 months old at the time. Initially he kept worrying about the chances of it being a boy and i could still feel the same way etc. But ive given it my all and if i don't get a dd after 5 kids then its just not meant to be. Hes relaxed a little at the idea that it could be a boy so thats reassuring but im crossing everything.

I certainly feel like this is our last baby now. With cars and bedrooms etc but even in my heart. Im too exhausted to do this again 😂

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess


Well I really hope my husband will come around to the idea eventually like yours did. our youngest is only 2 months old at the moment so i don't want to try again for awhile. How did your scan go?

[mummyoffour]

Yes a lot of us had to convince our hubbbies and LOTS LOTS of us had hubbies who wouldn't help a sway.

I pretty much just convinced my husband to not try, but not prevent, and prayed like a madwoman while I did LE Diet and God smiled on me. Hubs wasnt super thrilled about it but he adores her and never complains at all any more.

Atomic did you have to convince your husband too? Did it take much? I think if I can convince him I will do the same, do what I can do to help sway and then just hope for the best.

[mummyoffour]

I also had to work hard to convince my hubby to ttc a third. Our two boys were 7 and 9 and in my husbands head that was it, we were finished. He was 44 so not thrilled at facing all the newborn stuff again. But fast forward to now and a super cute 18 month old who has her daddy wrapped around her little finger and he wouldn't change a thing!


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This is how I know my husband would be too if we have another. He would never regret any child we have, i know he would just love them no matter what! How did you convince yours?

[mummyoffour]

I'm in a very similar boat! I have 4 awesome little boys and when my youngest was about 6 months old, I started having those feelings. My husband was adamant about being done as soon as we found out via ultrasound that #4 was a boy. I begged him to not book the vasectomy until I was positive we were done. I'm the same as you, I just don't "feel done". And I really think I would be ok if the next was another boy if I knew I did all the swaying that was possible for me. I feel like I would regret it if I never actually tried/swayed for a girl.
I talked to my husband and he agreed that we wouldn't do anything permanent just yet, we would just "be careful". My youngest is now 17 months old. I haven't pushed the issue but I have made little comments here and there just so he knows that I still want a 5th. Giving him lots of time with my sister's sweet little 2yo girl and our friends' daughters has helped :wink: He has come around for sure but he hasn't officially said "let's start trying". I've noticed that he's been wearing the boxer-briefs I bought him a lot more lately though so maybe that's a step!

My advice is to have a heart to heart with your husband and just let him know that you aren't ready to say never yet. Offer to take birth control if he really persists. My husband said no but I did offer to do that much so that he wouldn't have to worry too much every time we had sex.

Its so nice to see other people are in the same position as me. I hope your husband will come around as well! Im the same at the moment, I'm not pushing it, but I feel like at some stage I will need to have a proper talk to him and tell him exactly how I feel about it all, but he knows I still want another so Im hoping as our youngest gets bit older he will come around.
If we could just guarantee a girl next I know for sure he would go for it!

[netti02]

Well I really hope my husband will come around to the idea eventually like yours did. our youngest is only 2 months old at the moment so i don't want to try again for awhile. How did your scan go?
Another boy joining the clan so totally going to save on recycling clothes. Its a shame its the last baby but doesn't mean the next would be a girl either 😂

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess

[Babygirlquest]

.

[XXforhubby]

Another boy joining the clan so totally going to save on recycling clothes. Its a shame its the last baby but doesn't mean the next would be a girl either [emoji23]

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess

That's how I feel Netti! Sure we could totally try for #4 but there would be no guarantees it would be a girl! We are leaning towards being done. After watching the AFC football championship game last weekend, my DH sees I'm a total boy mom! You should have seen me cheer when Brady threw an interception and Daniels ran it back for a touchdown putting the Broncos in the lead! I jumped up and down cheering with DS3 flopping about! My DH shook his head and said he never had any hope for a girl after all. I guess I am a total boy mom and my boys are lucky to have a mom who is totally into everything they are [emoji170]!


[emoji170]DS1[emoji125]🏼, DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602] completes our family![emoji170]

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic did you have to convince your husband too? Did it take much? I think if I can convince him I will do the same, do what I can do to help sway and then just hope for the best.

Haha yes repeatedly. We had our first two and they were in their teens and I was only 34 years old at the time, just felt kind of panicky about the idea of having NO children around. one night we got all mushy and he asked me if there was anything else I wanted out of life and I said I wanted another baby and shockingly he agreed, but we had to get some debts paid off first (I persnally believe this was a delaying tactic and I'm not sure he ever totally intended on going along with it to be honest) then I turned around and got a job and earned the money to pay them off myself. Then he had no choice LOL.

We decided to have one more if it was a girl, two more if they were boys (for personal reasons in my family experience, I'm not a fan of only children and especially with boys I feel they need siblings) and so we rolled the dice two more times, two more boys. I still didn't feel done at this point. He knew I wanted to try one more time, hoping for a girl, he was too worried about the potential for something bad happening due to my age (or that was the excuse he used, again this is something I don't entirely buy), and we settled into a sort of war of attrition where we were having unprotected sex at least some times of the month, but not actively trying. Periodically, he'd stop having unprotected sex and then he'd start doing it again, without any confrontation or explanation. It was all very mystical and befuddling to me. :p

If i had really, truly known that I would actually get successfully pregnant, I'd have been more proactive about sitting down, hashing it out, but acording to the data available to me from pretty much every source at that point in time (I know better now) the odds of conception at 41 are vanishingly slim so I really didn't think it would happen at all, I more felt like I was keeping the dream alive for a little while longer even though I knew it was over. I think that's really why I never did force the confrontation over "are we doing this or not" because I was scared he'd say "we're not" and then I couldn't even have the daydream any more. It wasn't intentionally that I was trying to manipulate or sneak one over on him, I just liked the daydream, the possibility being there, it kept me going through some times that weren't very nice otherwise. But then I ended up pregnant and while I expected every day to wake up and lose her she just stuck with me and came out healthy.

[netti02]

Hehe totally agree XX 😂 im sure if i had a girl she would be a tomboy 😂

Fx for you babygirlquest.


Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess

[Little Lunasa]

This is how I know my husband would be too if we have another. He would never regret any child we have, i know he would just love them no matter what! How did you convince yours?

I pointed out to him that men have the luxury of changing their minds at any age in their lives but women do not, they have only a small fertility window in the grand scale of things. I was 41 and time was ticking. I also hinted that I'd be a nightmare to live with if I didn't get my way lol
Good luck :)


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[1moregirl]

I'm trying to convince my DH to try one last time to give our beautiful little girl a sister, and our two beautiful boys of course. But our two boys do play so well together and our little girl gets a bit left out at times. Plus I have said to DH that we are not always going to be around for our children and I had 3 sisters and I want to give our girl a sister too. Not that it will happen that way of course. After my miscarriage I am more realistic than ever. But I need to at least give it one more try. I know my parents and some friends (though they won't tell me to my face) think I am plain MAD after the miscarriage I went through (sometimes I look back to that experience myself as well and think I must be mad) but I just want to try. I wish I had done it when I was 42 as I've learnt once you hit 40 your fertility really seems to take a big nose dive. I conceived our 3 yr old boy when I was 40 and had him two months shy of turning 41 and it was all smooth-sailing. I really crave holding a newborn baby girl in my arms again but I'm scared stiff of not getting that far again as well. I guess when trying to convince our DHs we just have to keep going over the positives of another baby.

[mummyoffour]

Another boy joining the clan so totally going to save on recycling clothes. Its a shame its the last baby but doesn't mean the next would be a girl either 😂

Mum to 4 Boys awaiting her Princess

Congratulations on another beautiful boy :D like you say you will save on clothes. How did you feel when you found out at the scan?

[netti02]

Congratulations on another beautiful boy :D like you say you will save on clothes. How did you feel when you found out at the scan?
Not surprised lol but i kind of entered a transition similar to birth lol. I just felt this calm acceptance that this was it and enjoyed watching him on the screen..he was such a stubborn baby bum squished down in a lotus position with legs crossed. All my other boys were legs wide open hello world 😂

Mum to 5 special princes

[Babygirlquest]

Netti you have such a great attitude. Your boys are so lucky to have you.