What should my BD pattern be?

[1moregirl]

I am asking this question in case DH comes round and we get to do our attempt this cycle. Today is CD 7 (last day of AF) and we BD last night. Going by the last few cycles I should get my first pos OPK on CD 16 (and a second on CD 17 and usually O night of day 17 or following day if it's late). It will be just one attempt that we have but I am wondering if pattern of BD still matters? Last night we made up after a tiff and I think that DH will be wanting to BD more regularly than every 4 days, so what others options do I have that are still girl friendly? Otherwise I will have to skip this cycle and wait til next one if he needs more time. Is every 2 or 3 days boy friendly? We would be using condoms from now until the one attempt. Thanks and wish me luck. :)

[maidentomother]

Bding every 2-4 days with condom until your one attempt is fine for pink and great for sperm health.

[1moregirl]

Thanks maiden. Not that I need to worry now since DH has gone back on his word and anti any more babies. :( I tried to talk to him this morning civilly about it but he doesn't even listen to me. He just shuts down and says, "No more babies." So I'm presently back in a lose lose situation and feeling teary and emotional about this morning as though it's not going to happen for me one last time like I'd hoped and dreamt. He told me this morning he agreed to that one attempt just to stop my nagging but I can't even seem to compromise with him now. Part of me says I should just move on and forget about one last baby, but another part of me is upset and angry that he is denying me this one thing. He even told me he thought we'd agreed to just two kids before we got married and that is simply not true. We never discussed a set number of children let alone decided upon such. I don't know what more I can do to help change his mind back to the one try. I have tried to compromise telling him I would do it all myself - night feeds, nappies, etc. :(

[maidentomother]

Oh no. I am so sorry to hear that, though unfortunately not surprised given that he'd only offer one attempt EVER before. Maybe it's time to back off for a bit on this topic, focus on improving your relationship with him, then try a different approach in a few months? In the meantime you can be swaying hard on your own but without rubbing his face in it, just determinedly doing it yourself. That is probably what I'd do...

[1moregirl]

Thanks Maiden. Yep...will keep up everything on my part just in case and back off on the topic for a while. :)

[purple]

Don't worry too much about a pattern. Since e4d isn't going to work for you as your DH wants it more often then just continue whenever and if you get an OPK+ try to have an unprotected attempt if DH is willing.

I also agree with maiden about giving him a bit of time before bringing it up. Maybe things are really stressful at work for him at the moment and he can't cope with any extra demands at home. Who knows what he has going on in his head.

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't think pattern of BD matters at all (ther is NO difference bewteen 4 days, 3 days, 2 days) and it's imperative that you guys just DTD like little bunny rabbits and keep that closeness going.

[1moregirl]

Thanks ladies. Great advice as always. We had a bit of a chat about it again yesterday and he admitted he would love to have another one if he thought it was going to be a girl, but just not so keen on another boy as the two we have already (espeically our oldest one) are handfuls. So I'm thinking he is going to change his mind again. I'm just worried now how I have been with my diet. I have been having breakfast (all though that may well change tomorrow when school starts up), I have been snacking (I find it difficult to go in between meals without eating as I can sometimes feel sick, weak and get the shakes - although I def don't have diabetes), plus I have been having a small bit of choc the last few days. The only things I have done well on the diet with are red meat (once a week or twice if we don't have fish once), chicken mainly, 4 eggs a week. I'm also worked because I haven't been eating much dairy as I just find that a struggle. Should I take a little bit of a calcium supp?

[maidentomother]

No calcium, you don't need to eat much or even any dairy. I strongly recommend you go completely vegetarian (or even vegan, all the better) and definitely NO snacking. Diet is the most important sway factor by far! I'd really focus on keeping fat intake low especially.

[covered in blue]

Maiden - she's doing the atomic fertility diet.

[maidentomother]

Ooops thanks covered! Then ignore what I said except for NO CALCIUM SUPP and buckle down on the snacking, gradually as seems necessary. I think since you are on the AFD you should consider the daily 60+min cardio, personally.

[1moregirl]

Ok. No calcium. I really find it hard to fit in any exercise but I'm always on the go now with 2 kids at school and hard to do any cardio with my 3 yr old in tow. Lol! But I do do a lot of walking each day - but not power walking so thwt might not be considered cardio? Is it ok to eat fruit for snack in between meals as I am finding that I am not fitting much fruit at all into each day as yet?

[maidentomother]

No snacks between meals. Fruit will really jack up your blood sugar too.

[Mulberry Smurf]

perhaps a small smoothie with meals would be ok? xx

[1moregirl]

I thought fruit was allowed on the fertility diet? Plus I can't go without snacks as I get weak and feel sick. And I'm not a big meal eater any way - I don't eat very large meals. I'll just do the best I can and go with that because this is meant to be a relaxed sway for me this time.

[XXforhubby]

I thought fruit was allowed on the fertility diet? Plus I can't go without snacks as I get weak and feel sick. And I'm not a big meal eater any way - I don't eat very large meals. I'll just do the best I can and go with that because this is meant to be a relaxed sway for me this time.

Fruit IS allowed on the diet with meals. Fruit in between meals as a snack will cause your BS to spike, which is what we DON'T want to happen while swaying pink. If you must snack, I would have free veggies or protein only as it will not cause your BS to spike. Personally, I would have free veggies. I keep snow peas (not sugar snap peas), cauliflower, white mushrooms, and sliced zucchini on hand.

FX and GL to you!!


[emoji170]DS1[emoji125]🏼, DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602] completes our family![emoji170]

[atomic sagebrush]

I thought fruit was allowed on the fertility diet? Plus I can't go without snacks as I get weak and feel sick. And I'm not a big meal eater any way - I don't eat very large meals. I'll just do the best I can and go with that because this is meant to be a relaxed sway for me this time.

FRuit is allowed on ALL forms of diet. She is saying eating fruit all day every day, between meals, causes our blood sugar to go up and stay up.

[1moregirl]

Ok. I just find it almost impossible to go without snacks in between meals but I will do my best. I don't want to get too 'into' the diet because I tend to get obsessive with things and I need to be more relaxed this time. If I even do get pregnant again I won't even let myself get a bit excited til well over the 12 week Mark. I just don't want to build myself up with too much hope like I did last time. If it sticks and it's another boy, then I will definitely have peace knowing I gave it two goes and did my best and am lucky enough to have one precious little princess in the mix. We are aiming to BD tonight, with a condom (that will have been 4 days since the last time), then hopefully again in another 4 times at pos OPK without a condom, if DH will allow. If not, hopefully next month.

[maidentomother]

Many, many people who thought they couldn't go without snacking/fast for several hours between meals discovered that they absolutely COULD, they just needed to work towards that goal very gradually. I do think no snacking is a crucial part of the LE diet/swaying pink, so how about you try something like this:

Start out having 6-8 (or whatever you're currently at) meals/snack/'eating times' per day. Drop one meal every 4-7 days. If you're struggling after you drop a meal, add it back and wait a few more days before dropping it again. Almost everyone is capable of eating just 2-3 meals daily (some few may need 4, and if that includes you that's okay, it's still huge progress) if they ease into it slowly enough. Your body, specifically your insulin response, WILL adjust so you can not snack and still feel okay.

[1moregirl]

It's the Atomic Fertility Diet that I am doing. And I've already been skipping breakfast but I'm not going to skip anything else because I will lose too much weight and I can't afford to lose any really. I'm around 8 stone already. I'll just do the best I can but I have one DD already and my diet has always been the same.

[familymatters]

Ok. No calcium. I really find it hard to fit in any exercise but I'm always on the go now with 2 kids at school and hard to do any cardio with my 3 yr old in tow. Lol! But I do do a lot of walking each day - but not power walking so thwt might not be considered cardio? Is it ok to eat fruit for snack in between meals as I am finding that I am not fitting much fruit at all into each day as yet?

I'm hoping Atomic can clear this up for me, I thought that low-intensity exercise (walking) swayed blue? Because I've stopped going for my walks with the pram, thinking it was better to do nothing at all than a little something. When I conceived my two boys I was going for daily walks with the pram.

[maidentomother]

Walking does count but it needs to be 60 min uninterrupted, not broken up throughout the day. And I would say brisk walking at the least, no slower.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm hoping Atomic can clear this up for me, I thought that low-intensity exercise (walking) swayed blue? Because I've stopped going for my walks with the pram, thinking it was better to do nothing at all than a little something. When I conceived my two boys I was going for daily walks with the pram.

The intense word was used originally to refer to the amount of time spent exercising (as opposed to a moderate time spent exercising). NOT the "intensity" of exercise. I did not catch it at the time that the word intensity is often used in terms of perceived exertion and if i had a time machine i'd go back and change it, but I don't, so now I just have to keep up correcting it. Most people are doing walking and getting girls with it. Does not need to be Olympic level exertion.

NO ONE should stop walking their baby in a pram for swaying. The last thing I want you guys to do is upend your lives for swaying because it ends up with you thinking about swaying all the time and overly focusing on it. It's great if you can get up to 60 min. at least 4 days a week, 6-7 is even more reliable.

[familymatters]

The intense word was used originally to refer to the amount of time spent exercising (as opposed to a moderate time spent exercising). NOT the "intensity" of exercise. I did not catch it at the time that the word intensity is often used in terms of perceived exertion and if i had a time machine i'd go back and change it, but I don't, so now I just have to keep up correcting it. Most people are doing walking and getting girls with it. Does not need to be Olympic level exertion.

NO ONE should stop walking their baby in a pram for swaying. The last thing I want you guys to do is upend your lives for swaying because it ends up with you thinking about swaying all the time and overly focusing on it. It's great if you can get up to 60 min. at least 4 days a week, 6-7 is even more reliable.
Oh no I didn't mean I don't put him in the pram ever, I just meant I used to go for a big walk around the block every day with the kids in the pram so we could get out and about. Thanks for explaining what you meant, I did think it meant you had to be full-on running/exerting yourself :)

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[Traci25]

Does adding intense excercise, like long distance running, over 50 min with a 10 -15 min walk, help over long duration of exercise? I've been running for a few months and have been feeling great. I used to be a runner and slacked after third baby was born. Just curious if it helps!

Another question does 1 attempt have better success over dtd every 4 days? Or are they the same?

Thanks!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh no I didn't mean I don't put him in the pram ever, I just meant I used to go for a big walk around the block every day with the kids in the pram so we could get out and about. Thanks for explaining what you meant, I did think it meant you had to be full-on running/exerting yourself :)

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No I got that LOL!! Yes please still take him out, it's good for all of you! :) I'd not ahve anyone stop that for their sway, no how.

[atomic sagebrush]

Does adding intense excercise, like long distance running, over 50 min with a 10 -15 min walk, help over long duration of exercise? I've been running for a few months and have been feeling great. I used to be a runner and slacked after third baby was born. Just curious if it helps!

Another question does 1 attempt have better success over dtd every 4 days? Or are they the same?

Thanks!!

I don't know, but if you can eke out another 10 minutes that will only help. Yes yes adding walking at the end is just dandy, does not need to be ba--$ to the wall all the time.

WE do not yet know about the one attempt vs. e4d yet. Not only is e4d new, but the stats are complicated by the fact that two different groups of people are doing these things. VEry few people start off doing e4d and the majority of people who do it, have some other complicating, fertility-reducing factor which may sway pink. Since being super fertile seems to sway blue, it ~may~ be that people who can get pregnant easily with the stricter sway tactics may skew the stats "bluer" than they really are and I actually suspect this is altering our results the last few months, as the less fertile people have moved to e4d and the results on one attempt seem to have declined a little, but I'm not sure this is a real finding. (this is all very obscure and difficult to understand, I realise)

[1moregirl]

I don't know, but if you can eke out another 10 minutes that will only help. Yes yes adding walking at the end is just dandy, does not need to be ba--$ to the wall all the time.

WE do not yet know about the one attempt vs. e4d yet. Not only is e4d new, but the stats are complicated by the fact that two different groups of people are doing these things. VEry few people start off doing e4d and the majority of people who do it, have some other complicating, fertility-reducing factor which may sway pink. Since being super fertile seems to sway blue, it ~may~ be that people who can get pregnant easily with the stricter sway tactics may skew the stats "bluer" than they really are and I actually suspect this is altering our results the last few months, as the less fertile people have moved to e4d and the results on one attempt seem to have declined a little, but I'm not sure this is a real finding. (this is all very obscure and difficult to understand, I realise)

Atomic - I have always been super fertile. Like, have conceived all 3 babies within the first month of trying. And even last year I conceived within the first month even though it ended in miscarriage. Should I still do just one shot at pos OPK then?

[atomic sagebrush]

Rules are different for you, my dear!!

You would be one of the people I'd have had start off with e4d for all the reasons we have already discussed.

Additionally, since your hubby will only doff his rain gear for the one attempt, you ARE ALREADY doing one attempt. I don't think we have an option on that, do we???

[1moregirl]

Rules are different for you, my dear!!

You would be one of the people I'd have had start off with e4d for all the reasons we have already discussed.

Additionally, since your hubby will only doff his rain gear for the one attempt, you ARE ALREADY doing one attempt. I don't think we have an option on that, do we???

"doff the rain gear" bahahahaha!!!! I love it. That's hilarious terminology. Can I say I'm tempted to bloody sabotage his precious rain gear? ;) lol! Hehehehe

[Traci25]

Ok greet thanks atomic, I've been doing one attempt but like I've mentioned bf it's been 3 days bf +opk dg had to leave town for business. So only one attempt and I didn't get +opk this month so I'm gonna chart and tempt along w opk.
I did 1 attempt w w dump and jump dd (LE diet without knowing and skipped breafast)and 2 attempts with both boys with no jump and dump, HE diet without knowing , I ate koshi ceral for breakfast ).And conceived all 3 first month ttc. I was 30, 36 and 38. Never knew O bc never checked prior. Not as lucky now!! Hoping in next few months it will happen!! Il make sure I give all details if it happens!! If it doenst work this next month then I'm switching to e4d.

[atomic sagebrush]

good luck traci!