Wish box

[1moregirl]

This probably sounds really silly but i am in the process of creating a wish box for myself and my wish for one last baby girl. It's a pink shoe box from my daughter and I am decorating it and placing things inside it that represent my wish for a baby girl. I read about this idea online. Apparently you hold onto it once a day and imagine a yellow glow around it and you imagine yourself holding onto your dream (in my case, imagine myself holding a baby girl). I did something similar years ago when I lived on my own but with a yellow poster in my bedroom. Yellow is a positive colour and represents hope as well. On my poster I placed all the things I hoped for at the time. Sounds silly, but I had on it a picture of a couple on their wedding day and pasted a photo of my face on the bride's face. There were also pictures of babies on it. It was not long after that I met my now husband and here we are today happily (most of the time ;) married with three beautiful children. Just thought I'd share this in case anyone else would like to try them. Good luck. :) xx

[atomic sagebrush]

It is a lovely idea but I think that visualizations can be risky for pink swayers because it feeds into those feelings of "swaycession" but hey, if it is helpful to you, please ignore my reservations. :)

[1moregirl]

Yes I know what you're saying Atomic. Ultimately, we need to feel positive about a healthy baby in general regardless of what gender the baby is. And I will be constantly reminding myself of that. If I was lucky enough to make it to a 12 week scan and was told it was a healthy baby boy - I would cry with relief and happiness because the baby is healthy and I'm completely aware of all the risks of having babies in our 40s so to be pregnant with a healthy baby is ultimately my number 1 goal. So I totally get where you are coming from. That sort of realisation could lead to gender disappointment, if you didn't keep your mind open. :)

[maidentomother]

Unfortunately I agree with atomic, I think visualisation can often be counterproductive when swaying pink bc of how similar it is to obsession. I personally wouldn't risk it. Pink swaying is rather unique in this sense; it's a process that doesn't benefit from the attitude that so many boy mom type women have pursued other accomplishments in life successfully.

[1moregirl]

Each to their own I think. It's certainly not an obsession for me. I don't even really think of it as visualisation. To me it's more like setting a goal and then trying to achieve it. The poster worked for me so I thought it wouldn't hurt to try this either. My box isn't out on display either. It's put away in a drawer and I'm the only one who knows about it.

[Dreamofpink]

Setting a goal and trying to achieve it is what can undermine a pink sway though.

Three beautiful boys and my longed-for DD due in June 2016!

[1moregirl]

Setting a goal and trying to achieve it is what can undermine a pink sway though.

Three beautiful boys and my longed-for DD due in June 2016!

How exactly do you work that out? Every woman that has joined this website and is following a sway plan has set a goal for themselves and is trying to achieve it. Obviously though we each need to go into our sway with open minds knowing that our sway might not work, yet our ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby.

[1moregirl]

Unfortunately I agree with atomic, I think visualisation can often be counterproductive when swaying pink bc of how similar it is to obsession. I personally wouldn't risk it. Pink swaying is rather unique in this sense; it's a process that doesn't benefit from the attitude that so many boy mom type women have pursued other accomplishments in life successfully.

Could you please explain your last sentence Maiden as its not making sense to me sorry. Thankyou

[Dreamofpink]

How exactly do you work that out? Every woman that has joined this website and is following a sway plan has set a goal for themselves and is trying to achieve it. Obviously though we each need to go into our sway with open minds knowing that our sway might not work, yet our ultimate goal is to have a healthy baby.
Have you read any of Atomic's essays with regards to the Maternal Dominance Hypothesis?

Three beautiful boys and my longed-for DD due in June 2016!

[atomic sagebrush]

Here is the thing. I think I could spend an hour trying to explain this (and I mean this kindly) you would hear what you want to hear. If you want to do visualizations and set goals and hope and dream that is absolutely your prerogative to do it. I don't think it's best for a pink sway and so I am obligated to chime in and say that not only for you but also for the others who might be reading it and then decide to do the same thing. I don't think it's a good idea but if you want to do it I hope it works for you. :)

[1moregirl]

Thanks Atomic. Don't worry - I am constantly reminding myself that if I am lucky enough to even fall pregnant again I really just want a sticky healthy baby. The gender of that baby will be my second priority, if that makes sense. If I had another little boy he would be very much loved and I would somehow learn to find peace that a second little girl just wasn't on the cards for me.

[maidentomother]

Determination, effort, focus - these are great traits when it comes to many things. But when swaying pink they are actually handicaps oftentimes. Instead an indirect, relaxed, accepting attitude seems to work best. I think it's a big part of why the daily endurance cardio is so effective - bc it affects mindset and even personality.

Swaying pink is like those magic eye illusions, you're successful by NOT looking for the image head on. Only by looking from the corner of your eyes can you see the image. It's not a way of looking that comes naturally to most pink swayers, bc you have to stop trying actively.

Maybe that makes more sense? I'm not trying to knock your beliefs, just speaking from my own experience and based on a VERY strong trend I've observed. It's almost eerie how fundamentally similar so many pink swayers are, myself included.

[Dreamofpink]

Determination, effort, focus - these are great traits when it comes to many things. But when swaying pink they are actually handicaps oftentimes. Instead an indirect, relaxed, accepting attitude seems to work best. I think it's a big part of why the daily endurance cardio is so effective - bc it affects mindset and even personality.

Swaying pink is like those magic eye illusions, you're successful by NOT looking for the image head on. Only by looking from the corner of your eyes can you see the image. It's not a way of looking that comes naturally to most pink swayers, bc you have to stop trying actively.

Maybe that makes more sense? I'm not trying to knock your beliefs, just speaking from my own experience and based on a VERY strong trend I've observed. It's almost eerie how fundamentally similar so many pink swayers are, myself included.
Maiden has put it perfectly! THAT is the attitude that brought me my wonderful, sweet sway opposite ds3 in 2013.

Three beautiful boys and my longed-for DD due in June 2016!

[1moregirl]

I still don't get it sorry. So for a girl sway you are meant to try but not try? Is that kind of what you mean? Or do your sway tactics but be really relaxed about it and not stress out too much and be mentally prepared for a gender opposite? I do have one girl already but only thing we ever did differently was DH was cycling to and from work and we BD just the once per night. When I conceived our last boy we BD two times in a row, I had big O and DH was behind (I.e. Doggy). Lol! Sorry for TMI. I can't exactly remember what we did when we conceived our first little man. But anyway, ever since we had our first little girl I wanted to try another time for another girl. I can't explain why because I have enjoyed and cherished each of our babies and children and love them all equally. Maybe it's because I was brought up with 3 sisters and want her to experience a sister as well. Anyway, I think DH is warming to the idea. He has most likely read my thoughts on it and is pondering it all himself so I haven't pressed it again. I really just hope he agrees and that it works out because I don't think I will have the strength to try again if I have another miscarriage. I would feel selfish if I went back again after another miscarriage since it's not just me effected, but our whole family, including DH and the kids. I've already decided that if I get pregnant again and it results in another miscarriage I will go and see a counsellor and get closure and peace to help me get over the end of my babymaking days and to help me move on to the next phase of life in our family of watching our beautiful children grow and after school activities, planning holidays, etc. I don't want to endure a few miscarriages before a pregnancy sticks and I don't want to do IVF or donor eggs when we have three beautiful children already and the expense of their future education to plan for. Does this all make sense?

[maidentomother]

Do but don't try would maybe be more accurate. Try but not try still means a type of trying, but yeah that's close to what I mean. It's more about letting go than 'not stressing', and yes, it definitely involves accepting either gender. The best approach I've seen is to simply live your life - not focus on swaying or TTC any more than necessary, letting the diet/exercise/BD become a habit that you don't consciously think about, it's on the back burner in your mind instead of the forefront. The trick is that you can't 'make' yourself relax. For myself, I had to reach a point of just not caring very much anymore...but without giving up on my sway. I don't feel the same urgency I did when I first got into swaying. Someone like Dreamofpink who has kids and has swayed multiple times is a much better example.

I have seen plenty of very tightly strung women get daughters though! And plenty of very relaxed, laidback women who got boys. Both among those who swayed and those who didn't. I've seen at least one pink swayer who visualised like crazy and got a girl, too.

It's always possible you only need a little nudge to conceive a girl, since you already have one and you don't think there were major differences in your diet and lifestyle when you conceived her. I completely understand your desire for another daughter and I'm sure many if not most women here do too. Having 3 sisters probably is a factor, but it really doesn't matter why you want another girl. The heart wants what the heart wants! It sounds like your DH may come around soon, fx for your rainbow baby. I wouldn't want to go IVF or DE at all in your position, either.

[XXforhubby]

I still don't get it sorry. So for a girl sway you are meant to try but not try? Is that kind of what you mean? Or do your sway tactics but be really relaxed about it and not stress out too much and be mentally prepared for a gender opposite? I do have one girl already but only thing we ever did differently was DH was cycling to and from work and we BD just the once per night. When I conceived our last boy we BD two times in a row, I had big O and DH was behind (I.e. Doggy). Lol! Sorry for TMI. I can't exactly remember what we did when we conceived our first little man. But anyway, ever since we had our first little girl I wanted to try another time for another girl. I can't explain why because I have enjoyed and cherished each of our babies and children and love them all equally. Maybe it's because I was brought up with 3 sisters and want her to experience a sister as well. Anyway, I think DH is warming to the idea. He has most likely read my thoughts on it and is pondering it all himself so I haven't pressed it again. I really just hope he agrees and that it works out because I don't think I will have the strength to try again if I have another miscarriage. I would feel selfish if I went back again after another miscarriage since it's not just me effected, but our whole family, including DH and the kids. I've already decided that if I get pregnant again and it results in another miscarriage I will go and see a counsellor and get closure and peace to help me get over the end of my babymaking days and to help me move on to the next phase of life in our family of watching our beautiful children grow and after school activities, planning holidays, etc. I don't want to endure a few miscarriages before a pregnancy sticks and I don't want to do IVF or donor eggs when we have three beautiful children already and the expense of their future education to plan for. Does this all make sense?

Everything needs to be second nature so you don't even think about it. By thinking, tweaking, visualizing, controlling, focusing, etc all undermine a sway. Swaying pink needs to be a lifestyle you do effortlessly to work. Obviously you have to make time to fit exercise in, right? You do have to make meal plans for the week if you have kids and of course grocery lists. You do have to DTD. But all these things can be done as a part of your way of life that you don't need to focus on to achieve a goal.

I'm speaking from first hand experience here. I had a vision board in my bedroom. I was constantly tweaking things and pestering Atomic and Maiden about this and that for my sway. I was using opks and temping and stressing over my chart and getting frustrated over true positives and when to BD. I'm holding my sweet DS3 as a result. See what we mean? Pink swaying needs to be a lifestyle change not a project that can be done perfectly one set way and not a goal that we achieve by doing this and that that consumes us.

FX and GL to you!


[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602] completes our family![emoji170]

[1moregirl]

I get it. Thanks sooooo much Maiden and XXforHubby. I totally get it and the funny thing is I have been thinking this for a while now. I even believe now with my last sway that ended in miscarriage that I went way overboard and overkill. I probably didn't need to do as much as I did last time to conceive a girl - and Mother Nature may well have taught me a lesson. I am going to do thingssoooo much differently this time round and I have even accepted the idea that if I do fall pregnant again, it could well be another boy, and that's ok. Our first boy has been full on hard work from the start (still love him to bits tho) but our second boy has been much easier and is sooooo sweet and kind. He tells me he loves me all the time just out of the blue and always asks for "huggles." Regardless of the gender, I would love another healthy baby. I will still be swaying, but very relaxed about it this time. Thanks for making me understand. :) xx