Using shettles method but limited chance of conceiving?

[Mumma100y]

I've recently been reading into the shettles method of swaying for a girl. I'm just a bit confused as essentially your having sex when your not at your most fertile eg before ovulation? So using this method will surely take ages to conceive???

[purple]

Shettles doesn't work. Best option for ttc a girl is one attempt in the fertile period by making your attempt at OPK+.

[Mumma100y]

Shettles doesn't work. Best option for ttc a girl is one attempt in the fertile period by making your attempt at OPK+.

Sorry I'm new to all this, what does opk mean? So you only actively try just once a month? Not every other day as described in shettles? Soooo confusing!

[squigglepink]

Hi Mumma

OPK = ovulation predictor kits

[purple]

OPK = ovulation predictor kit. They are the sticks you wee on to predict ovulation by detecting your LH (Luteinizing hormone) surge that comes about 24-36 hours before ovulation. If the test line is as dark or darker than the control line it is considered positive (different to pregnancy tests where any line is positive)

The stats from this site tend to be showing really good results for just one attempt in the fertile window. The fertile window is the 4 days before and including ovulation.

The other option that some are doing is BDing every 4 days. This option is good if you don't want the stress of using OPKs or have trouble getting a positive test.

Are you also looking at other sway factors like LE diet, no snacking and possibly skipping breakfast?

[Mumma100y]

OPK = ovulation predictor kit. They are the sticks you wee on to predict ovulation by detecting your LH (Luteinizing hormone) surge that comes about 24-36 hours before ovulation. If the test line is as dark or darker than the control line it is considered positive (different to pregnancy tests where any line is positive)

The stats from this site tend to be showing really good results for just one attempt in the fertile window. The fertile window is the 4 days before and including ovulation.

The other option that some are doing is BDing every 4 days. This option is good if you don't want the stress of using OPKs or have trouble getting a positive test.

Are you also looking at other sway factors like LE diet, no snacking and possibly skipping breakfast?


I've really only just begun looking swaying and shettles was the first thing I stumbled upon! It seems confusing at the moment! I'm not really keen on using ovulation tests or following a specific diet. I guess part of me is worried that if I follow a swaying method 100 per cent will I be disappointed if the gender is different? I'm only charting my ovulation by monitoring the discharge (sorry if tmi!) I was thinking of trying for the baby every other day from the last day of my period to just before I get the ultra fertile egg white discharge? My boys we're conceived when I was at this super fertile stage but your saying to only try once in this fertile window? Sorry for all my questions!

[purple]

I understand not wanting to get too obsessed and "try too hard". I felt the same way that if I swayed too hard it would make it harder if I didn't get my girl. I'm still yet to find out how my sway went!

Have a quick read of some of the info if you have time
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/3305-complete-index.html

And also the LE Diet info. The diet is actually fairly easy to follow because you still eat mostly what you want but you just try to keep within some guidelines. If the diet is too hard then just try to stop snacking and stick to 2 or 3 meals a day (I did 3 but delayed my breakfast so I had a good 14-15 hour fast.

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/24628-le-diet-faq.html

Making attempts every other day is fairly boy friendly (that's how I got my boys). I would suggest the every 4 days to start with if you don't want to try OPK's.

Here is the info on number of attempts for swaying
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/9736-how-many-attempts-should-i-do-when-pink-blue.html

It is lots to take in! I have been an active member of this site now for about a year so I have my head around most of it but it did take some time.

[Mumma100y]

Thank you so much for all your advice and links! I really must just take the time and study it all. Is there a place that I can find all the abbreviations? I'm getting confused by them! I've not spoken to my husband about any of this as I'm worried he'll think I'm mad, he doesn't even want to have anymore as he's happy with his boys. Just wish I could (sounds so awful doesn't it!) do you think these methods really work or is it really just 50 50? Thanks again!

[purple]

This will help with the abbreviations :)
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/2069-abbreviation-translation.html?2069-Abbreviation-Translation=

And here are the stats
http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/51473-new-complete-pink-swaying-statistics-spreadsheet-info-links.html#post756135

Current Stats (as of Feb 7, 2016)

Total sways: 388
Total pink: 253
Success %: 65.21%

Defiantly higher than 50% and it is probably getting better as it is learnt what works and what doesn't.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, you are 110% right on that and luckily Shettles has been totally debunked anyway! Full story here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

Most of us on this site have 2-3-4 or more Shettles opposites. WE are getting best results for pink by having one attempt the day before ovulation or at positive OPK (and NOT because the day you DTD sways, it is just a good point in time for conception with that one attempt.) For reasons we can only guess at, number of attempts sways, timing does not. :)

Hi and welcome by the way!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you so much for all your advice and links! I really must just take the time and study it all. Is there a place that I can find all the abbreviations? I'm getting confused by them! I've not spoken to my husband about any of this as I'm worried he'll think I'm mad, he doesn't even want to have anymore as he's happy with his boys. Just wish I could (sounds so awful doesn't it!) do you think these methods really work or is it really just 50 50? Thanks again!

Yes, they really work. They are not a guarantee, but our blue swayers get between 70-80% consistently and our pink swayers get between 65-75% (depending on sway tactics used) So for some of us who have a blue-friendly lifestyle to start with, we may be coming into swaying with as much as 80% chance at another boy, and even if we get to 65% chance of pink that is HUGE!! and if you're able to do things like exercise that have higher than 65% then you may have even better odds.

Honestly after 4 boys over 20+years, I was like "Lord, get me to 50-50 and I will take the flip of the coin at that point" LOL

[atomic sagebrush]

abbreviations here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/2069-abbreviation-translation.html

[atomic sagebrush]

I've really only just begun looking swaying and shettles was the first thing I stumbled upon! It seems confusing at the moment! I'm not really keen on using ovulation tests or following a specific diet. I guess part of me is worried that if I follow a swaying method 100 per cent will I be disappointed if the gender is different? I'm only charting my ovulation by monitoring the discharge (sorry if tmi!) I was thinking of trying for the baby every other day from the last day of my period to just before I get the ultra fertile egg white discharge? My boys we're conceived when I was at this super fertile stage but your saying to only try once in this fertile window? Sorry for all my questions!

Every other day probably sways strongly blue for reasons we can only guess at. WE really don't know why one attempt sways but it sure seems to.

If you don't want to be fussed with OPK and one attempt, that's cool. We have a different way to do it which has gotten great resulst for us. Just DTD unprotected every 4 days starting after AF and going until you are 100% certain you have ovuated. This ends up being one functional attempt in the fertile window and as it sits right now is at 75% success

[atomic sagebrush]

I do urge you to at least look over the LE Diet because you can make just a few easy changes (you don't need to do the diet full on for it to have some effect) and still really help your sway a lot.

You have to understand that our stats on e4d and stuff like that are all in people doing diet. So you shouldn't expect that good of a response without at least making some diet changes.

[maidentomother]

Diet is the strongest sway factor we know of so definitely do the LE as much as you can. Daily cardio exercise for at least an hour, Clomid/Femara and one attempt are also getting great results. Most of us are eating fibre before fatty/nutritious meals and drinking coffee & alcohol.

Any changes you make will sway pink for you.

[Mumma100y]

Yes, you are 110% right on that and luckily Shettles has been totally debunked anyway! Full story here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

Most of us on this site have 2-3-4 or more Shettles opposites. WE are getting best results for pink by having one attempt the day before ovulation or at positive OPK (and NOT because the day you DTD sways, it is just a good point in time for conception with that one attempt.) For reasons we can only guess at, number of attempts sways, timing does not. :)

Hi and welcome by the way!

Thank you! Yes I've only just really stumbled upon all of this! Still getting my head round it all. This will sound a stupid question but you say to try and conceive one day before ovulation but how can I be that precise? I'm worried that at 35 my chances of conceiving at all let alone pink are drastically reducing!

[Mumma100y]

The only way I've been sure I'm at my most fertile is by monitoring my discharge, both boys were conceived when I had the extra fertile egg white type discharge, (apologies if tmi but I don't know how else to explain!) so to sway pink we need to try to conceive BEFORE I get this discharge?? Is that right?

[maidentomother]

Please don't use CM to determine O, it's unreliable. When atomic mention s BDing the day before O, she means using OPKs then BDing the same day you get your first positive. For most women on average, that will end up being the day before O and often, but not always, a day of EWCM if you get visible EWCM (which you may not on the diet).

But the timing or type if CM when you attempt is NOT what matters. The goal is to have one attempt in your fertile period, ideally not too far before O so odds of conception are good. That is why BD every 4 days is the next best method, as it achieves the same result. OPKs are the best way to time a single BD attempt effectively, but it won't always end up being the day before O as there is some variation in how long O happens after your first positive OPK.

[Throwaway_panther]

@Mumma100y: Don't apologize -- EWCM is an actual terminology to describe generally fertile cervical mucous/discharge, haha!


Adding in my two cents on timing: Echoing diet being important. We just wanted to get pregnant, and I didn't know about swaying when I did -- we had sex, according to my Ovia fertility app and by cervical mucous -- 3-4 times within my fertile window. Right at the beginning (with no ejaculation, but possible precum), then both days following this, then the "last" day. Based on Shettles, and even Whelan to an extent, this may have been more boy "timing" -- yet I'm having a girl. My lifestyle was extremely girl-friendly/LE.

Once you get into seeing the little things that can sway one way or the other, you'll see that timing almost always seems to be the LAST thing that may have made a difference.

[Mumma100y]

So I've seen that clear blue do OPK that tells you your 4 most fertile days so when swaying pink do you attempt to conceive every night of these four days??? Soooo confused!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you! Yes I've only just really stumbled upon all of this! Still getting my head round it all. This will sound a stupid question but you say to try and conceive one day before ovulation but how can I be that precise? I'm worried that at 35 my chances of conceiving at all let alone pink are drastically reducing!

That is why we use the OPK. If your cycle is not regular you will still have a hormone surge about 36 hours before ovulation that will be detected by an OPK test and then you'll know to DTD then. Or, if you prefer, you can just try one day before you expect O if you're regular. whichever works for you.

Please don't overthink being 35. So many of us have been thrown into a panic by these dire reports on waning fertility over 35 that we have been afraid to sway. But I'll tell you my story, which is that I thought I had to do all this stuff to get pregnant at 37 and got pg in 2 months with my 3rd boy, then I thought I surely had to do all this stuff to get pregnant at 39 and got pg in 1 month with my 4th boy, and then at 41 I did nothing to help my fertility in any way and got pg in 6 months (which is still normal time range) with a girl. It is not the way that the media makes it out to be and you can read a full scientific debunking here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/later-moms/52766-older-moms-must-read-article.html

[atomic sagebrush]

So I've seen that clear blue do OPK that tells you your 4 most fertile days so when swaying pink do you attempt to conceive every night of these four days??? Soooo confused!

Only ONCE in that fertile time. I answerd this in more detail in your other post.

[atomic sagebrush]

The only way I've been sure I'm at my most fertile is by monitoring my discharge, both boys were conceived when I had the extra fertile egg white type discharge, (apologies if tmi but I don't know how else to explain!) so to sway pink we need to try to conceive BEFORE I get this discharge?? Is that right?

EWCM is totally unreliable. I have gotten it as early as CD 3 and in the month I got my daughter I had it for a couple days after ovulation. :) I think OPK are most reliable if you have irregular cycle or you can do the e4d method I mentioned in other post.

[Mumma100y]

Only ONCE in that fertile time. I answerd this in more detail in your other post.


Thanks so much for your help and apologies for apparently posting this twice! Not sure what happened there. So is there a crucial time to dtd during that 4 day fertile period? Towards the start or end? Apologies again for my questions...still taking all this in! Thank you also for the age reassurance!

[bunnywabbit]

Thanks so much for your help and apologies for apparently posting this twice! Not sure what happened there. So is there a crucial time to dtd during that 4 day fertile period? Towards the start or end? Apologies again for my questions...still taking all this in! Thank you also for the age reassurance!

DTD every 4th day from after AF which will cover the crucial time. Welcome, and good luck! x

[Mumma100y]

DTD every 4th day from after AF which will cover the crucial time. Welcome, and good luck! x

Thank you! I know this is a stupid question but what does AF mean? Still getting my head round these abbreviations ha ha! I've got an app on my phone called GLow, you enter when you have your period and daily logs including Cervical mucas, weight etc and it tells you your most fertile days? Should I trust this or stick to the OPK?

[squigglepink]

Please don't use CM to determine O, it's unreliable. When atomic mention s BDing the day before O, she means using OPKs then BDing the same day you get your first positive. For most women on average, that will end up being the day before O and often, but not always, a day of EWCM if you get visible EWCM (which you may not on the diet).

But the timing or type if CM when you attempt is NOT what matters. The goal is to have one attempt in your fertile period, ideally not too far before O so odds of conception are good. That is why BD every 4 days is the next best method, as it achieves the same result. OPKs are the best way to time a single BD attempt effectively, but it won't always end up being the day before O as there is some variation in how long O happens after your first positive OPK.

I think you may have just answered my question that i posted in a new thread earlier today. So having EWCM when DTD (one attempt in fertile period) is ok?

[maidentomother]

Yes, unless it's a lot and you haven't been TTC or swaying for more than a few cycles.

[Throwaway_panther]

Thank you! I know this is a stupid question but what does AF mean? Still getting my head round these abbreviations ha ha! I've got an app on my phone called GLow, you enter when you have your period and daily logs including Cervical mucas, weight etc and it tells you your most fertile days? Should I trust this or stick to the OPK?

AF = "Aunt Flow" ;) Otherwise known as your period.

[Throwaway_panther]

That is why we use the OPK. If your cycle is not regular you will still have a hormone surge about 36 hours before ovulation that will be detected by an OPK test and then you'll know to DTD then. Or, if you prefer, you can just try one day before you expect O if you're regular. whichever works for you.

Please don't overthink being 35. So many of us have been thrown into a panic by these dire reports on waning fertility over 35 that we have been afraid to sway. But I'll tell you my story, which is that I thought I had to do all this stuff to get pregnant at 37 and got pg in 2 months with my 3rd boy, then I thought I surely had to do all this stuff to get pregnant at 39 and got pg in 1 month with my 4th boy, and then at 41 I did nothing to help my fertility in any way and got pg in 6 months (which is still normal time range) with a girl. It is not the way that the media makes it out to be and you can read a full scientific debunking here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/later-moms/52766-older-moms-must-read-article.html

Didn't read the article, but I think Emily Oster covered it in "Expecting Better," as well -- chromosomal and genetic issues do make a slight uptick around 35 and over, but fertility in general is not actually affected. The belief on fertility over 30 and 35 actually is spawned from old census' on birth rates -- women were having kids much younger on average than today, so it was a reflection of what age women were having kids most frequently at and nothing more!

[honeybee37]

Throwaway Panther, that's so interesting! I am almost 35 and am terrified as I had my boys in my 20s. I feel like I'll be lucky to get preg! What you say makes total sense!

[Mumma100y]

AF = "Aunt Flow" ;) Otherwise known as your period.

Ha ha! It's all making sense now ha ha!

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks so much for your help and apologies for apparently posting this twice! Not sure what happened there. So is there a crucial time to dtd during that 4 day fertile period? Towards the start or end? Apologies again for my questions...still taking all this in! Thank you also for the age reassurance!

It depends on what YOU want. Some people want Shettles and want to try for a 2-3 day cutoff, others don't care and we just put that one attempt at positive OPK for the sake of convenience since that is usually a good time to conceive.

Or, if those don't work for you, just DTD every four days starting after AF and going through till you are sure you've ovulated.

[atomic sagebrush]

Throwaway Panther, that's so interesting! I am almost 35 and am terrified as I had my boys in my 20s. I feel like I'll be lucky to get preg! What you say makes total sense!

Your fertility DOES NOT rapidly drop off at 35, that is incorrect information used by doctors to terrify people based on a study from (drum roll) !!!!! THE 1600's!!!!!. Several of us had this fear and did all this stuff to boost our fertility over 35 thinking we had little chance of conceiving only to get a 3rd boy, and a 4th boy....LOL For a full write up about the dubious scientific basis of this claim read this article http://genderdreaming.com/forum/later-moms/52766-older-moms-must-read-article.html

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you! I know this is a stupid question but what does AF mean? Still getting my head round these abbreviations ha ha! I've got an app on my phone called GLow, you enter when you have your period and daily logs including Cervical mucas, weight etc and it tells you your most fertile days? Should I trust this or stick to the OPK?

Apps do not work reliably. OPK are better.

NO, just randomly having an attempt when you see EWCM DOES NOT WORK. Please do not do this. You can get EWCM for many days before O and if you attempt too early then you have zero chance of conceiving.

[atomic sagebrush]

Didn't read the article, but I think Emily Oster covered it in "Expecting Better," as well -- chromosomal and genetic issues do make a slight uptick around 35 and over, but fertility in general is not actually affected. The belief on fertility over 30 and 35 actually is spawned from old census' on birth rates -- women were having kids much younger on average than today, so it was a reflection of what age women were having kids most frequently at and nothing more!

:agree: and additionally, those who are still having kiddos at older ages may be those who couldn't get pregnant to begin with. If everyone of normal fertility has kids in their 20's and is done by 35, and the only ones still plugging away (or at least the majority) are those who couldn't, then that skews results substantiallly.