I'm back here in the loss section :(

[purple]

So today I had some bleeding so I went to the hospital to get it checked out and unfortunately the baby stopped growing at 8w 2d.

After having a scan at 7wks and seeing a healthy heartbeat I was feeling more optimistic. I did start to get concerned as my nausea had almost gone away after the scan but I tried to keep remembering that every pregnancy was different so it could be normal for this baby.

Tomorrow I go back to have a medically managed miscarriage. After my last experience of losing too much blood and needing 2 blood transfusions I didn't want to do it at home but I also want to avoid another d&c if possible.

At the moment we are thinking we are done with trying for a 3rd baby and will be happier with just our two boys. I honestly don't know if I can go through with the anxious wait of another 1st trimester and even worse another miscarriage.

Thanks for all the support of this forum. I will probably take a break and I'm not sure if I will feel up to returning. This make me really sad too as I would like to see how everyone goes with their pregnancies and also see if those who have been ttc with me have some success but it also hurts seeing what could have been for me too.

I might come back in a few days to provide an update on how it goes, I'm a bit scared but at least they will be there to keep an eye on my blood loss.

I really didn't think I would be so unlucky to lose 3 out of my 5 pregnancies :(

[Mamato3?]

I'm very sorry for your loss... Wishing you all the best and a healthy recovery.

[Kittybear]

So sorry for your loss Xx

[bunnywabbit]

I'm so sorry, and can completely understand. Hang in there, we're all here for you... xx

[essnce629]

Oh no Purple, how horrible. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. This sucks so bad. Please take care of yourself and give yourself time to heal. I understand not wanting to come back on here. I wonder every day why I'm still here. (((HUGS))) to you and I'll be sending healing vibes your way.

[maidentomother]

Oh no. I'm so, so sorry. :(

[honeybee37]

Oh no, purple I'm so sorry :(

[Violet Winter]

I'm so sorry hun! I've been where you are and I know what you are going through. It's not easy and I understand you needing time to heal. Do you know if the doctors will do genetic testing. After my third miscarriage they did testing and showed baby had trisomy 16 which is the most common causes for miscarriage. My last was similar to yours, 7 weeks a heartbeat then 8 weeks irregular heartbeat then week 9 the heart stopped beating. It was so distressing and emotionally draining. Lots of hugs from your boys will help you through, I know thats what helped me. Please look after yourself, take all the time you need and know we're here for you when you feel ready. Xxooxx

[pinkfairydust]

very sorry for your loss Purple
We are thinking of you.

[twointow83]

So today I had some bleeding so I went to the hospital to get it checked out and unfortunately the baby stopped growing at 8w 2d.

After having a scan at 7wks and seeing a healthy heartbeat I was feeling more optimistic. I did start to get concerned as my nausea had almost gone away after the scan but I tried to keep remembering that every pregnancy was different so it could be normal for this baby.

Tomorrow I go back to have a medically managed miscarriage. After my last experience of losing too much blood and needing 2 blood transfusions I didn't want to do it at home but I also want to avoid another d&c if possible.

At the moment we are thinking we are done with trying for a 3rd baby and will be happier with just our two boys. I honestly don't know if I can go through with the anxious wait of another 1st trimester and even worse another miscarriage.

Thanks for all the support of this forum. I will probably take a break and I'm not sure if I will feel up to returning. This make me really sad too as I would like to see how everyone goes with their pregnancies and also see if those who have been ttc with me have some success but it also hurts seeing what could have been for me too.

I might come back in a few days to provide an update on how it goes, I'm a bit scared but at least they will be there to keep an eye on my blood loss.

I really didn't think I would be so unlucky to lose 3 out of my 5 pregnancies :(
I'm so unbelievably sorry purple. I understand the need to step away. Don't worry about us, worry about you and your family right now. Please do post and let us know u r ok when it's all said and done, though. No matter what the future holds for you I pray it will make your life as happy and fullfilled as any person can be. Take care of yourself and those kiddos. Hugs :HH: and prayers.

🙏 for a healthy 🌈 🚼
TwoInTow83 Ovulation charts on FertilityFriend.com (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/TwoInTow83)

[XXforhubby]

My heart breaks for you, Purple [emoji22]! This is incredibly unfair. I am sending you lots of strength and healing. We are all here to support you.

Huge hugs!


[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602] completes our family![emoji170]

[farmgirl33]

I'm so sorry purple, this sucks so bad. Please do come back & update us when you can. I will be thinking of you.


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[Blue Bear]

So sorry purple. I'm very very sorry. My heart hurts for you.

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[nuthinbutpink]

I am very sorry but I also hope you're able to do genetic testing to see if you can find a cause. If the baby is normal, after two losses after seeing heartbeats, I would be inclined to do testing on yourself. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

[ksmom]

Oh gosh Purple, I'm so very, very sorry. :( I understand you wanting to take a break from this site for awhile. Take care hun! Hugs!!:LotsofLove:

[Junie]

I'm so so sorry.

[crd5ed]

Oh Purple. I am so incredibly sorry. Please take the time you need for yourself and your family as you process this devastating loss. Sending you comforting thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time. I hope all goes well for you and there aren't further complications. I'll be thinking of you and holding out hope that someday you will get your rainbow baby if you should try again. ((HUGS))

[Beautifulrainbow]

Omg! Purple I'm so so so sorry to hear this, I was following your posts keeping my fingers crossed for you! and you even had metformin this time too which is meant to help lower the Risk of a miscarriage. My thoughts are with you Hun.xxxx (((((big big hugs)))))

[The Anchor]

Oh no purple. I'm so so sorry.

[Pbn3]

Just devasted to see this Purple. This is so unfair. I am so so sorry :( there are no words

519b48 Ovulation charts on FertilityFriend.com (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/519b48)

[Quinn31]

Purple, I'm so so sorry. These kinds of stories make me so angry and sad. I sending thoughts for peace to you right now.


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[sharon]

so sorry xx

[TaytumJ]

So so sorry purple. Lots of love, hugs and prayers to you. Thinking of you and your family. [emoji171]


Team green baby due May 21! [emoji170][emoji166]

[more pink]

My heart breaks for you I feel your pain hang in there it'll get better don't give up you can still get pregnant next time with no problems. Sending prayers your way 《♡》

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[dpike00]

So sorry!!!


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[atomic sagebrush]

Oh no, no, no, I'm so sorry to read this Purple.

I am thinking of you!!! Please let me know how I can help.

[girliedreamz]

I am so very sorry, purple! My heart aches for you, and I hope you do get some answers. I know with my two losses, the not knowing why was the hardest part. Hugs, and I hope your two beautiful boys give you lots of comfort and love right now. We'll miss you and be here if you decide to try again.

[purple]

Thanks everyone for your kind words.

Yesterday was a long day but the medication worked and I miscarried the baby without any issues. It went slower and there was a lot less blood loss than the last one. Towards the end I was pretty exhausted and wished I had just opted for a d&c but I'm happy I avoided surgery, I would have had to wait until Tuesday for that option anyway.

I was told they don't do genetic testing until 3 consecutive miscarriages so was just sent off for standard testing. I'm not really sure what results we get from that testing. I probably should have asked more questions but it is hard to think of what to ask.

We won't make any decision on what we want to do yet but really I don't think I can do it again. Right now my big worry is having to go back to work but that's not until Tuesday. I didn't cope well with the return last time but I am giving myself more time and it was a less traumatic experience at least. Hopefully this time I don't burst into tears when someone asks how I'm feeling or if I'm feeling better as they assume I was sick.

Anyway, I'm going to try and focus on other things like getting stuff done around the house and maybe booking a nice holiday for later in the year. I have used up so much energy with the whole ttc journey it will be nice not to think about it.

Thanks again for all the support :)

[Beautifulrainbow]

Take care and (((((big hugs)))))

[MrsGoodies]

I am very sorry for your loss and I hope you heal soon.

I've had THREE miscarriages in a row now (4 mc total). The first one was @ 10 weeks & no testing. The next was too early at 7 weeks but insisted on having testing done for the last two.

MC#3 : My dr had been telling me it was chromosomes, age, bad luck, blah blah...but testing showed the babies were NORMAL so then he had to look for other reasons (like the HUgE SCH he said wouldnt be a problem) :(

Mc#4: The dr said it was due to low progesterone, bad hormones, etc. and said I would need to start supplements asap next time. I felt terribly guilty like it was all my fault!.....But the test showed a chromosome problem so no amount of medication would have helped.

It gave me A LoT of peace of mind knowing the sex and health of the babies.

I used the Anora test and collected the sample at home by placing a strainer over the toilet so I could collect the placenta. I put it in some saline in a clean container in the fridge and then my Dr sent it in with a blood sample. I had results in 5 days.

[atomic sagebrush]

Mrs. Goodies I do want to assure you that low progesterone and "bad hormones" is falling out of favor amongst doctors as causes for miscarriage. The vast majority of the time the reason the prog drops is because the body has detected the chromosomal abnormality and is ending the pregnancy. All progesterone supps do in that case is drag out a pregnancy that is destined to end anyway (since most of these are incompatible with life). I mention this because I sometimes think doctors almost like to blame losses on something that is wrong with us instead of telling the truth which is most of the time it's nothing but bad luck.

[MrsGoodies]

Yes Atomic,

I was reading conflicting things about progesterone being able to prevent mscarriage and there are some bad things with it.

As for 'bad luck' I prefer SCIENCE over superstition and if a mc is tested then Dr can start telling me the cause. But it drove me batty when they would start spouting off this and that...basically guessing when after testing their original theories were proven wrong twice!

Bad luck sounds like it happened bc i let a black cat cross my path on the way to the u/s or something. I'd much prefer they say "sorry we dont know" over bad luck.

[atomic sagebrush]

Would you prefer random chance?

I prefer to use a term that takes the onus of responsibility OFF the woman who has just suffered a loss. "we don't know" causes people to then scrutinize their lives and everything they've done, thought, ingested, etc etc etc and think "was it this, was it that?" when no one will ever know. Sometimes miscarriages happen. We don't know why, but a good percentage of it IS random chance. The wrong sperm (of which everyone's partners make many) meets the wrong egg (of which we all have many), or something went wrong in development, or something went wrong when it implanted, and with about as much deliberateness as winning the lottery, we have a miscarriage.

The cold, hard, fact of the situation is that doctors do not know and will NEVER know the reason for most losses. They can test them and barring chromosomal abnormality - which IS random chance in the absolute truest sense of the word, since it can happen to any of us at any time. They don't know and will NEVER know. if testing gives you peace of mind, more power to ya (although I EMPHATICALLY agree that they have no idea what they are talking about most of the time and their speculation is incredibly hurtful to people sometimes) .

JMO but isn't unscientific to speak the truth that the majority of losses are nothing more than sheer poopiosity that could happen to any person at any time for NO reason whatsoever other than, ya know, bad luck.

[purple]

I don't have a problem with the term bad luck. That is probably what it was, just the wrong sperm and or the wrong egg or something else along the way. I think possibly having pcos also increases my odds of it happening. I read that it is uncommon to have 3 recurrent miscarriages except for women with pcos who have more odds of it happening, this makes me even more scared of the idea of trying again if I already have a higher chance of it happening again.

At the moment I can't decide what to do, I feel like I should at least stay on metformin until I decide for sure if we are going to try again or not but I'm also considering going on the pill while I decide. I'm not ready to go straight to getting a mirena just yet. I hate the idea of swaying or ttc at the moment but I also don't know if I want to just give up completely. I'm feeling pretty confused but I guess that is normal.

[Bella29]

Oh purple, so sorry for your loss. How devastating for you. Condolences. Fly free little one.


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[MrsGoodies]

Yes Atomic,

I think I would prefer "random chance" to "bad luck" because I agree with you that the onus should be OFF the woman who miscarried and the term "bad luck" really doesn't do that.

I suppose it depends on what is referenced with the phrase "bad luck". Some use the term flippantly to refer to chance events but others (such as members of my superstitious extended family) use the term in a way that the bad luck was brought on by what you did or didn't do. My family has all kinds of silly notions on what will bring on bad/evil things as if they can be controlled or prevented. I still remember one of my great aunts spitting on the bride as she walked down the isle to ward off bad spirits. It's one of the reasons I have learned NEVER to tell my family I am pg until I can't hide it anymore.

So yeah, when I hear someone tell me my m/c happened b/c of bad luck it makes my skin crawl. Random chance I can live with.

[girliedreamz]

I think focusing on a nice family vacation is a great idea. :)

I had technically 3 losses in a row a little over a year ago. One a 7 weeks, then a chemical (though my midwife refuses to call a chemical a loss, but I know it was one) the next cycle, then the next cycle got preg and lost again at 11 weeks. After that I felt I really needed a break from swaying, too, and wasn't sure I'd even try again. I waffled at lot over the next year, but finally decided to give it one more try about a year after the last loss. I fell preg with my long awaited girl on the first month of TTC. This time around I did a very minimal sway—femera (on the chance it could help egg quality) and 1 attempt. Not much else. I'm only 14 weeks in, so still crossing my fingers all turns out well, but so far so good.

Not saying you should try again AT ALL! You totally need to do what's right for you. But just know you don't have to make that decision right now. And there are a few women on here who have had several losses and gone on to have healthy babies. Hugs and know you're not alone. We feel ya.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm sorry you experienced that stuff in your family. In every thread I answer I am trying to communicate with hundreds of people around the world and some of them are not native English speakers who may not even know what random chance even means.

I am sure you can understand that an individual's life experience is beyond my control and I cannot parse my words quite that closely to avoid any negative connotations that one individual may have.

I'm sorry that this was in some way upsetting to you.

[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: we have had people on here come back after 3,4,5 or even more miscarriages to have healthy babies.