ttc with diva cup

[HobbitMama]

Hi, I'm wondering if anyone has gotten pregnant by having DH put his sample in a Diva cup and inserting that? We have some issues that mean DTD the usual way doesn't work for us. Unfortunately, this is also our 12th cycle TTC this way, and we've had no luck. I know it's possible we have other issues, but I figured I'd eliminate the possibility that I was doing it wrong. I've even been doing the bum prop... I know that's usually a sway boy, but like atomic says, you can't get your DG if you can't get pregnant at all.

I've heard that it works with a softcup, but I can't seem to get the knack of getting those in/out.

[maidentomother]

You've been TTC 12 cycles with a diva cup? Just one attempt st positive OPK or what? I have been TTC using fresh donor sperm that I squirt from a syringe.

[HobbitMama]

Yes, one attempt at +OPK. I'm doing a light sway; DD took us 11cycles to conceive while doing lots of things to improve fertility, so I figure doing too much to reduce our chances is a bad idea. Not doing anything to lower sperm count... I'm avoiding the big no-no foods, dieting for weight loss, and avoiding exercise. I considered using a syringe, but it seems like some would get left behind in the original container and in the syringe itself.

[maidentomother]

I would definitely ditch the diva cup and try with a 5 or 10ml syringe. Have DH ejaculate into a small bowl. Put your face & shoulders down into your bed and stick your butt up in the air as high as possible/perpendicular to the bed as much as possible. Insert the syringe (use a little sperm friendly lube like YesBaby if you don't have much fertile CM) as far inside as it will comfortably go. Go slow and be careful as the tip of the syringe can be painful. Once all the way in, depress the plunger completely. Then leave the syringe in and stay in that butt up position for a full 5 min. If you take the syringe out before then, a lot of the semen will come out too. After the 5 min, take out syringe, stuff TP between legs, and lie down for 20min or longer.

I also think you need to be doing multiple inseminations starting days before you expect to O. I recommend inseminating every 3 days bc you've been trying so long. Maybe even every other day or SMEP. Regardless you should start inseminating right after AF ends or even during AF. If you do E3D, that would be CD6, CD9, CD12, CD15, CD18, CD21, CD24 etc. I'd keep it up until all cycle long just in case. The increased exposure to his semen may improve your chances of conception. Is your DH releasing regularly on his own or only ejaculating once a month? If the latter, that is really bad for sperm health and likely plays a big role in why you haven't conceived yet.

A diva cup can seal off the cervix so that may be part of the problem. It's also possible you O the same day as your first positive OPK in which case you've been inseminating too late. You need to inseminate AT LEAST 12 hours before O, ideally 24-48 hours before. Even 4 days before O gives you a good shot. But it's almost impossible to conceive from just O day insemination/BD. If you've been inseminating the night of your first positive OPK and Oing the next morning or even early afternoon, then the sperm probably don't have enough time to capacitate and be capable of fertilising the egg while it's still viable. The sperm need to be in place WELL in advance of the short lived egg.

I have been TTC for 13 ctcles with one attempt, no hint of BFP. I think I haven't been inseminating far enough in advance of O either, as at least some of the time I think O the same day as my first positive OPK or even the day before. I've also been inseminating only once per cycle most months, AND my donor has only been ejaculating once per month most cycles. This cycle he ejaculated on CD11, then inseminated on CD14 and CD16. I think I Oed on CD17 or possibly CD16 or even CD18 (today). I am hoping the fresher sperm and multiple inseminations will make a difference. I'll let you know in 2 weeks time! My donor does have low sperm count, btw.

Good luck!

[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: I think you guys need to use the syringe. The issue with the Diva is that not only can it spill out when you're inserting it, but it may seal over the cervix so anything you spill out may not even have a chance at getting in. and if your cervix is tilted you may be blocking the whole thing anyway (so the semen is not even up against the cervix) and nothing is getting in.

no one who is going this long with BFN should still be doing one attempt. It's time to add attempts if that is possible for you guys. every 4 days to start with, then e3d OR e4d plus one attempt at positive. My secondary concern is that you guys may be missing O anyway regardless of the Diva.

You're trying for another DD?? Just making sure

[atomic sagebrush]

I would definitely ditch the diva cup and try with a 5 or 10ml syringe. Have DH ejaculate into a small bowl. Put your face & shoulders down into your bed and stick your butt up in the air as high as possible/perpendicular to the bed as much as possible. Insert the syringe (use a little sperm friendly lube like YesBaby if you don't have much fertile CM) as far inside as it will comfortably go. Go slow and be careful as the tip of the syringe can be painful. Once all the way in, depress the plunger completely. Then leave the syringe in and stay in that butt up position for a full 5 min. If you take the syringe out before then, a lot of the semen will come out too. After the 5 min, take out syringe, stuff TP between legs, and lie down for 20min or longer.

I also think you need to be doing multiple inseminations starting days before you expect to O. I recommend inseminating every 3 days bc you've been trying so long. Maybe even every other day or SMEP. Regardless you should start inseminating right after AF ends or even during AF. If you do E3D, that would be CD6, CD9, CD12, CD15, CD18, CD21, CD24 etc. I'd keep it up until all cycle long just in case. The increased exposure to his semen may improve your chances of conception. Is your DH releasing regularly on his own or only ejaculating once a month? If the latter, that is really bad for sperm health and likely plays a big role in why you haven't conceived yet.

A diva cup can seal off the cervix so that may be part of the problem. It's also possible you O the same day as your first positive OPK in which case you've been inseminating too late. You need to inseminate AT LEAST 12 hours before O, ideally 24-48 hours before. Even 4 days before O gives you a good shot. But it's almost impossible to conceive from just O day insemination/BD. If you've been inseminating the night of your first positive OPK and Oing the next morning or even early afternoon, then the sperm probably don't have enough time to capacitate and be capable of fertilising the egg while it's still viable. The sperm need to be in place WELL in advance of the short lived egg.

I have been TTC for 13 ctcles with one attempt, no hint of BFP. I think I haven't been inseminating far enough in advance of O either, as at least some of the time I think O the same day as my first positive OPK or even the day before. I've also been inseminating only once per cycle most months, AND my donor has only been ejaculating once per month most cycles. This cycle he ejaculated on CD11, then inseminated on CD14 and CD16. I think I Oed on CD17 or possibly CD16 or even CD18 (today). I am hoping the fresher sperm and multiple inseminations will make a difference. I'll let you know in 2 weeks time! My donor does have low sperm count, btw.

Good luck!

:bowdown: thanks!

[HobbitMama]

I think I'm confused about the sealed off cervix thing. I use it for AF and it only ever leaks when it gets REALLY full, so if the blood is staying in, wouldn't that mean the sperm would be getting up? I know they're not spilling... I've been using the cup for years and am really good at getting it in/out.

Based on LP I seem to ovulate the day after OPK, though I'm not sure if it's 12 or 24 hours. We usually send the soldiers up the evening of my OPK starting to get dark, which is usually the day before +OPK.

DH is releasing at other times, though I can't swear to how often.

And yeah, very much want another daughter.

If this cycle doesn't take, I'll be taking your advice about the syringe and the frequency. Thank you both so much.

[maidentomother]

In that case I think you are probably missing O OR just need more attempts to get pregnant. I'd definitely do E4D or E3D, whatever you feel comfortable with. What CD are you now/when are you due to test?

[HobbitMama]

O day today - so I've got a long two weeks in front of me.

We wound up about 50 hours between insem and O (assuming O 24 hours after +OPK) so the swimmers definitely had time to get there and get ready.

It might just be that we need an extra try. I suspect our issue is on DH's end, though we haven't had any tests done to prove it. He's over 300 lbs, and I've been reading lately that obesity on the father's end can mean problems for his swimmers and for implantation. He also doesn't make the healthiest choices when it comes to lifestyle (to put it delicately).

[maidentomother]

Good luck! I will be testing in 12 days, I'm just now 3dpo. I do definitely think DH could be the issue.

[HobbitMama]

Thanks! Best of luck to you!

[atomic sagebrush]

I've used it for AF too and it's different when you're using it for AF because stuff is coming down and out, not trying to go up and in. Imagine instead if you put it in and some, or all of it spills or it isn't positioned quite right and it isn't getting where it needs to be. All I am trying to express is that after 12 months, something ain't working here. I cannot tell you WHAT that is, I can only speculate about what MAY be.

I agree I think we need more attempts. I also agree his health overall is not helping and so we may need to start to be more proactive about possibly doing things to boost fertility. :)

[HobbitMama]

I've used it for AF too and it's different when you're using it for AF because stuff is coming down and out, not trying to go up and in. Imagine instead if you put it in and some, or all of it spills or it isn't positioned quite right and it isn't getting where it needs to be. All I am trying to express is that after 12 months, something ain't working here. I cannot tell you WHAT that is, I can only speculate about what MAY be.

I agree I think we need more attempts. I also agree his health overall is not helping and so we may need to start to be more proactive about possibly doing things to boost fertility. :)

I wish I could get him to take his health more seriously - but his opinion runs along the lines of "well, other people who (X, Y, Z) have still fathered kids, so obviously that's not the problem." He's not big on the personal responsibility thing, unfortunately.

I did finally get him to take Maca and COQ10 (mostly to shut me up, I think, when I kept pointing out that things were not working and I was out of things *I* could do) and I've noticed a marked difference in the quantity of what's in the cup. Unfortunately, that's only been a thing for the last three months. I'm not even sure if I should count the previous ones due to the rather... uninspiring, shall we say... sample he provided previously. (On the other hand, darn it, I had to go through the emotional roller coaster all those months, so it feels like it OUGHT to count!)

If I do go the syringe route, how do I make sure I'm not shooting it at the wrong angle?

[maidentomother]

You can really only shoot it at one angle once it's deep inside you. The sperm will swim to where they need to be anyway, just get it in deep. I think the butt up position helps though.

My donor also produces pathetic amounts, like 1-1.5ml, sometimes even under 1ml! Msybe I should get him on those supps your DH takes.

[atomic sagebrush]

I wish I could get him to take his health more seriously - but his opinion runs along the lines of "well, other people who (X, Y, Z) have still fathered kids, so obviously that's not the problem." He's not big on the personal responsibility thing, unfortunately.

I did finally get him to take Maca and COQ10 (mostly to shut me up, I think, when I kept pointing out that things were not working and I was out of things *I* could do) and I've noticed a marked difference in the quantity of what's in the cup. Unfortunately, that's only been a thing for the last three months. I'm not even sure if I should count the previous ones due to the rather... uninspiring, shall we say... sample he provided previously. (On the other hand, darn it, I had to go through the emotional roller coaster all those months, so it feels like it OUGHT to count!)

If I do go the syringe route, how do I make sure I'm not shooting it at the wrong angle?

I think a lot of guys are that way. But, it is what it is and we can work around it.

I am starting to get more of a handle on what is going on here and if part of this is because the sample is really small, then yeah I can totally see why the syringe idea lacks appeal. Makes more sense to use a Diva if it's just a little batch. The good news is, that semen amount doesn't always equate to number of swimmers and it's possible to have a small batch that is chock full o goodness. The attempts do count but we'll try to make em count MORE. :)

I do think it will help to have it thinner and more liquid in any case and I would recommend a rotating combo of pineapple and grapefruit juice (like one or the other every day) and also guanefesin for him starting 5 days before you expect to O and going through O Day.

Sorry if I already asked this but are you guys doing anything like frequency patterns or hot baths, tighty whiteys, etc?? If so we need to lose those things and if you can get him to release regularly like every 2-4 days or so, I think that may really help. :)

[HobbitMama]

I think a lot of guys are that way. But, it is what it is and we can work around it.

I am starting to get more of a handle on what is going on here and if part of this is because the sample is really small, then yeah I can totally see why the syringe idea lacks appeal. Makes more sense to use a Diva if it's just a little batch. The good news is, that semen amount doesn't always equate to number of swimmers and it's possible to have a small batch that is chock full o goodness. The attempts do count but we'll try to make em count MORE. :)

I do think it will help to have it thinner and more liquid in any case and I would recommend a rotating combo of pineapple and grapefruit juice (like one or the other every day) and also guanefesin for him starting 5 days before you expect to O and going through O Day.

Sorry if I already asked this but are you guys doing anything like frequency patterns or hot baths, tighty whiteys, etc?? If so we need to lose those things and if you can get him to release regularly like every 2-4 days or so, I think that may really help. :)

DH's favorite quote when he'd produce an uninspiring sample was "I looked online, and it's cloudy, so that means it's super-concentrated!!" (Funny, I looked online, and there's no way to tell unless you get SA done...)

He adores grapefruit juice, so that should be easy! He won't take OTC meds, though, so I doubt I'll talk him into that one. Is there such a thing as too much for the grapefruit juice? Moderation isn't his strong suit, and I don't want him to decide to down a whole big can every day and mess things up in a different way.

No hot baths, though he won't do boxers. I suspect he releases fairly frequently given the size of his "adult library" but I'm not monitoring it.

I did use some pre-seed this month out of desperation.

Thank you so much for the advice. You are a god/dess-send.

[maidentomother]

I am very sure my donor isn't releasing more than he says and even after 3 days of no releasing he produces just over 1ml. Just FWIW. He also is not in the greatest health (hypothyroid/Hashimoto's).

[atomic sagebrush]

Even if he's just drinking more fluids that may help anyway. The thing to be aware of with the grapefruit juice is that it can interact with medications so if he's on any, he may need to space it out. I think 2 12-16 oz glasses will be enough and if he wants to throw some pineapple in there as well, even better.

You can use the guanefesin yourself, it may make more CM for you and help the little tiny troops to find their way where they are supposed to be. This is a blue sway tactic BUT I think we need a little bit of assistance from above (literally in this case) I think that may actually help more than the Preseed, I'd probably give it a couple months without the Preseed but with the guanefesin for you, and who knows maybe at the last minute he'll choke one down too and it will thin that up some. :)

You're so welcome, I'm always happy to help a fellow Hobbit.