Question about abstinance

[melissalynay]

Ok, so I am really confused now. Going by I what I know my three boys were conceived on my ovulation day before I knew anything about swaying....My questions is why would a hubby abstain more than 7 days for girl sway. I looked around and could not find the answer. Also i know that most don't think timing really matters but I am scared to do it on ovulation now as you can imagine so what would be the best if we abstain.

[rainbowflower]

apparently it increases the amount of XX that will be in his sample, but I don't know why that is
DTD on OV day doesn't sway blue anyway - you were just "lucky" or had other factors that swayed. With an abstain and doing only one attempt I'd still do it on OV day (or day before) so you maximise your chances of conceiving

[TTC5]

We have 4 girls and hubby had sex frequently either daily or every 2nd day and when we were TTC we went for it every single day lol

[melissalynay]

Thanks ladies,

I can only go by what I know. I think my hubby has super sperm because all three times we decided to try to have a baby we would DTD on ovulation day and 10 days later have two lines....So that is really why I wondered if abstaining would be better for him. He is 28 and just had our last son in Aug. 2010. This is all so hard to decided which is right because you only get on shot and if you mess it up there are no do overs. I will love my bean whether boy or girl but really hoping for a little pink..

[zanacal]

Hi there - timing (ie. when you DTD to get pregnant) and lowering your sperm count through frequent release/BDing or abstinence are different issues.

When some of us say we don't believe in 'timing' we're talking about cut-offs and O+12s, ie. when you DTD in relation to when you ovulate. I understand if you're nervous of DTD on O day. The problem with planning a cut-off or an O+12 is that it can be quite tricky to get the timing right and the obsessive behaviour involved in figuring that out can raise your testosterone which may sway blue. If your cycles are very regular (and you're not taking anything for your sway which may mess with that - like Vitex or Saw Palmetto) then that makes it easier. Some ladies who want a small cut-off wait until they get their first +OPK and have their attempt on that day because it's a fairly stress free way of achieving a cut-off. Most babies are conceived with sperm already in the woman when they ovulate!

The other part of the equation is what you do to lower DH's sperm count because a lower sperm count sways pink (for reasons not known!). You can do this either through abstaining for 7-10 days prior to your attempt or having him release (through whatever method!) for the same time period (you musn't miss a day if you do this - DTD less often will sway blue and depending on your DH you might want him to release even more than once a day leading up to your attempt!). This is the part which you really should include in your sway, particularly if you've got pregnant very easily in the past with 3 boys (me too!).

[melissalynay]

I am pretty much ovulate on day 14 every cycle....I guess I am one of the lucky ones who never ovulates late and has a 28 cycle....I have charted for many years. That is how I have always gotten pregnant the same month as deciding to try to have a baby. I guess what I need to know which is better frequent release or abstinence. I don't plan on using saw palmetto or vitrex but will be drying up my CM since I have normal amounts that would sway blue big time.

I see Zanacal that you are going to have another little one. Don't know if you swayed but if you did good luck getting a DD..

[zanacal]

Thank you for the congratulations, we swayed for a girl. Time will tell!

Regarding the abstinence or frequent release, I think you have to do what works best and feels right for you. My husband is 37 so I didn't want him to abstain for any length of time, plus he's a frequent releaser anyway (and he was when we conceived our boys!) so we stepped it up a gear and he released twice a day for 8 days and we DTD within a few hours of his last release.

[momto4boyz]

I think we are going to try frequent release. With my boys, I know it was close to O day. Its all so confusing lol

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, so I am really confused now. Going by I what I know my three boys were conceived on my ovulation day before I knew anything about swaying....My questions is why would a hubby abstain more than 7 days for girl sway. I looked around and could not find the answer. Also i know that most don't think timing really matters but I am scared to do it on ovulation now as you can imagine so what would be the best if we abstain.

A DH would abstain for 7-10 days to reduce his overall sperm count. For reasons that we don't understand, lower sperm count in men seems to sway pink. This is totally aside from timing - you could abstain for 7-10 days and still BD right on O and it will STILL sway pink. In fact, it's probable that the only reason why Shettles timing sways is because of the abstinence and has nothing to do with what day you have intercourse on. Timing has been repeatedly studied and boys and girls are conceived in fairly equal numbers throughout the cycle.

If you're scared to BD on O, that's fine, just BD 2 or 3 days before when you expect O to happen, or you can even wait until you get a positive OPK and BD then (that would be 12-24 hours before O.)

I'm working on an essay that explains all this in depth and I will post it as soon as it's done.

[atomic sagebrush]

apparently it increases the amount of XX that will be in his sample, but I don't know why that is
DTD on OV day doesn't sway blue anyway - you were just "lucky" or had other factors that swayed. With an abstain and doing only one attempt I'd still do it on OV day (or day before) so you maximise your chances of conceiving

I personally do not believe it increases the amount of XX in the sample. I believe it lowers overall sperm count/motility and that is what sways pink for reasons that are not yet known.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi there - timing (ie. when you DTD to get pregnant) and lowering your sperm count through frequent release/BDing or abstinence are different issues.

When some of us say we don't believe in 'timing' we're talking about cut-offs and O+12s, ie. when you DTD in relation to when you ovulate. I understand if you're nervous of DTD on O day. The problem with planning a cut-off or an O+12 is that it can be quite tricky to get the timing right and the obsessive behaviour involved in figuring that out can raise your testosterone which may sway blue. If your cycles are very regular (and you're not taking anything for your sway which may mess with that - like Vitex or Saw Palmetto) then that makes it easier. Some ladies who want a small cut-off wait until they get their first +OPK and have their attempt on that day because it's a fairly stress free way of achieving a cut-off. Most babies are conceived with sperm already in the woman when they ovulate!

The other part of the equation is what you do to lower DH's sperm count because a lower sperm count sways pink (for reasons not known!). You can do this either through abstaining for 7-10 days prior to your attempt or having him release (through whatever method!) for the same time period (you musn't miss a day if you do this - DTD less often will sway blue and depending on your DH you might want him to release even more than once a day leading up to your attempt!). This is the part which you really should include in your sway, particularly if you've got pregnant very easily in the past with 3 boys (me too!).

Exactly! Thank you so very very much!!!

That is my main beef with timing of all sorts - that in order to pinpoint O, you have to track your cycles so closely that it ends up causing obsession that can raise T levels and inadvertently sway blue. So you risk your entire sway trying to pursue something that probably does not even sway, and this pursuit may actually HURT you.

If it was just DTD on this day or that and no harm was done (or even if the only harm was that it made it take longer to get pg), I'd class it in with the lavender incense or wooden spoon under the bed...it's that it actually may sway blue to attempt timing, that makes me discourage people from timing.

[atomic sagebrush]

I am pretty much ovulate on day 14 every cycle....I guess I am one of the lucky ones who never ovulates late and has a 28 cycle....I have charted for many years. That is how I have always gotten pregnant the same month as deciding to try to have a baby. I guess what I need to know which is better frequent release or abstinence. I don't plan on using saw palmetto or vitrex but will be drying up my CM since I have normal amounts that would sway blue big time.

I see Zanacal that you are going to have another little one. Don't know if you swayed but if you did good luck getting a DD..

There is nothing like swaying to screw up your O! Your body picks up on that stress and it may delay O even if it's always been very regular.

We don't know which is better, FR or Abstinence. Not enough info available to say for sure. It might be different for every man.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks ladies,

I can only go by what I know. I think my hubby has super sperm because all three times we decided to try to have a baby we would DTD on ovulation day and 10 days later have two lines....So that is really why I wondered if abstaining would be better for him. He is 28 and just had our last son in Aug. 2010. This is all so hard to decided which is right because you only get on shot and if you mess it up there are no do overs. I will love my bean whether boy or girl but really hoping for a little pink..

If you are under 35, abstinence may be best because younger men's sperm counts recover more quickly than older men's do and so FR may not be quite as reliable as it is for older guys.

[melissalynay]

Thank you for that...now to convince my hubby of that...