Will I have this desire for the rest of my life???

[HappyLea]

I haven't been on since having my 5th Son 11 months ago. I feel the need to be here right now, I don't know where else to go or speak to.

I have wanted a DD prob since after my 2nd boy and we tried a timing sway with DS 3 which obviously failed and then on our 4th we did a big sway with supplements, diet, timing,splime etc which also failed and well our 5th was a suprise conceived on the pill.

I love all my boys extremely but I still have that want for a girl, I hide my feelings from DH as he thinks everything is perfect in our life right now and it is (except my want for a dd) husband doesn't want anymore kids and I try to convince myself I don't either (but who am I kidding?)

Just recently my thoughts about this has surfaced just from little comments my husband made like 'I love your belly when your pregnant' and then yesterday at my son's 8th birthday I made a comment saying 'George is 1year next month and we need another baby' and we had a spare seat at the table at resteraunt and he made a comment about it.

I just wish I could turn my feelings off :( Does the want ever go away??? Im ok for periods of time and then there are times its all I think about.

I love my boys to bits and wouldn't change any if them but there is that gap, our pets are all girls (2 dogs, 1 cat 1 African Pygmy Hedgehog and 1 Hamster) I sometimes think I get girl pets to try fill the gap but nothing works :sad:

Sorry if im rambling I just feel sad at the thought of never having a daughter...one of those days for me!!!

[Mulberry Smurf]

I get that feeling. I feel like perhaps if I focused all my energy into moving on without my girl I could achieve it but it would not be being true to how I feel now and my desire for a daughter. I hope that you and your husband can work out whether or not to add to your family and they you make peace with that decision. If you do try for another girl then I wish you lots of luck! Xx

[Babygirlquest]

..

[Babygirlquest]

Ps should add your boys are soooo adorable!!!

[HappyLea]

Thanks Mulberry, and good luck to you ttc a daughter.

I do try so hard to focus on moving on but I always end up back with that desire and I know I'm not being true to myself. I would love to speak to hubby but I can't bring myself to do it. He thinks everything is perfect with our life atm and it is. I just dont know if I will ever be a peace with the thought if never having a daughter :(

[Throwaway_panther]

Just imo: it DOES sound like your husband might be testing the waters with you about another baby! I'd try open and honest discussion. I think good partners understand it's our bodies carrying the load, so rather than outrightly asking (or worse -- demanding!) they might hint and try to feel things out.

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[HappyLea]

Thanks Babygirl, good luck with your journey for your dd!

I think if we was guaranteed a girl then hubby would have another, but I have never spoke to him about high tech and even if I did I don't think it is something he would consider but honestly I have just been having a read about it again just now.

I find it hard that I have 5 beautiful boys and people say I should be happy and content with that but im not I still have that desire for a daughter (that mother/daughter bond) although my boys are very much mummy boys :) it kills me to see other ppl get what they want and so easily too.

[oceancitymom]

I wonder the same thing. I had a client, a very old lady, who had four sons. I always remember her murmuring during one meeting...I can't remember how it even came up..."We tried and tried for that girl but it just didn't happen." I remember that because I wonder the same thing you do...will I ever get over this? Will I be an old lady still mourning the daughter I never had? I wish I could switch my brain and just be totally content that I have two beautiful, bright, healthy sons who are so much fun and so loving. I love them; they make me so happy! I don't even understand totally why I am so hung up on having a daughter. I guess I worry about the future too...about feeling sad as I watch friends plan their daughters weddings...or be there for the birth of their babies. Although, one day recently my five-year-old boy who is super thoughtful and well, contemplative, was talking about becoming a dad. He was asking me about various stages of life and we talked elementary school, high school, and college, and then becoming an adult. And he said, "And after college, I'll meet my babies, right?" And I said yes, after college he can get married and have kids. Then I said, "Can I come to the hospital when your baby is born and hold the baby?" And he thought for a minute and replied, "Yes. Well, I want to hold him first. Then you can. Then my wife." HahahaHAAAAA! That won't be the way it goes, but I do hope I can be a part of it. :)

[HappyLea]

Throwaway, I might try to push some hints at him and maybe pluck the courage to tell him how I'm feeling.

Ocean city, you have just totally described how I feel. How sweet of your little boy to say such cute and lovely things.

[Mulberry Smurf]

How sweet ocean city :) love how thoughtful little boys can be!
Good luck with that conversation happy lea! Xx

[atomic sagebrush]

I really think that it does get easier when the decision is REALLY made to close the door. I know a lot of ladies who did decide to just move on with their boys and even tho many of them had very severe GD, once they made up their minds they started to heal and all seem very happy with their families as they are and not consumed with the idea any more. I think it's easy to forget when we're in the trenches but our feelings can change over time.

[MummaBear]

HappyLea that pretty much sums me up! every word u have said.

When I found out I was pregnant with my 4th son I really struggled but when he was born I felt my family was complete and I was ok living with not ever having my daughter.
He is now nearly 6 months old and about 2 months ago the thoughts started popping up and are continually creeping in. My boys are 4,3,2 and nearly 6 months. My husband works a lot and is basically never home and I have no family support so the 4 boys are very full on. The last 2 pregnancies were SO hard as I was so tired and had no one to help with the others. The thought of being pregnant again just makes me feel SO tired. OH god and the morning sickness etc.

I always thought I would have a daughter. I have collected things throughout my entire life to give to my daughter. I did fall pregnant with a girl (my very first pregnancy) but I lost her at 9weeks. Until I got that phone call at 11 1/2 weeks to tell my my 4th was a boy too only then did my dream just shatter.

I haven't been able to talk to my DH about this AT ALL. Before we fell pregnant this time he had agreed that if it was a boy we would try for a 5th using HT. He just assumed we would easily fall pg with a girl naturally. since then though I just can't even pluck up the courage to talk about it. I have so much guilt over it. Why do I want a girl? am I saying my boys aren't enough? I know that isn't the case I love my boys more than anything I just feel like something is missing. that little girl I always just thought I would have.

Now having 4 boys and me still not back to work as we had them all so close everything is so expensive. HT isn't available here in Australia and even if we could afford it I would feel guilty using that much of the families money on my dream.

Some days I am fine and yep close that door. I have already sold off everything baby in my house that DS4 has grown out of or no longer using. Then those thoughts come back. When its too late to have kids will I regret it not trying for my little girl. I done every method to sway naturally I would never risk it as I know there is no doubt I would fall pregnant with another boy. Even though HT is off the cards unless by some miracle the law is changed here in Australia I still think about it every single day.

[bigbump]

I wonder the same thing. I had a client, a very old lady, who had four sons. I always remember her murmuring during one meeting...I can't remember how it even came up..."We tried and tried for that girl but it just didn't happen." I remember that because I wonder the same thing you do...will I ever get over this? Will I be an old lady still mourning the daughter I never had? I wish I could switch my brain and just be totally content that I have two beautiful, bright, healthy sons who are so much fun and so loving. I love them; they make me so happy! I don't even understand totally why I am so hung up on having a daughter. I guess I worry about the future too...about feeling sad as I watch friends plan their daughters weddings...or be there for the birth of their babies. Although, one day recently my five-year-old boy who is super thoughtful and well, contemplative, was talking about becoming a dad. He was asking me about various stages of life and we talked elementary school, high school, and college, and then becoming an adult. And he said, "And after college, I'll meet my babies, right?" And I said yes, after college he can get married and have kids. Then I said, "Can I come to the hospital when your baby is born and hold the baby?" And he thought for a minute and replied, "Yes. Well, I want to hold him first. Then you can. Then my wife." HahahaHAAAAA! That won't be the way it goes, but I do hope I can be a part of it. :)

Happylea, I too wonder this. I have 2 boys and desperately dream of a daughter who I feel is almost real but slipping away. I know many of you have more children than that, but for me, at 40, with a 52 year old husband (who had 3 children already before we met) I am really supposed to be done. But I also think about it every day. I don't relish the thought of another pregnancy, even tho I was lucky with mine, but I won't have her unless I have another, my hb doesn't want any more which is totally understandable, so where does that leave me?

A similar thing happened to me, like the old lady mentioned above, just the day after I found out my 2nd was a boy.

I went to see a customer. I was making something for his wife's birthday. They have 2 sons, 30 and 25. I took my son and was obviously pregnant. The customer asked what I was having and I said 'a boy'. Then he asked me how I felt about it, and added 'my wife's greatest sadness was never having a daughter'. It absolutely shattered me.

I got in my car, drove down the road, stopped and cried. I think because even though her sons were grown we were exactly the same, even though I had the possibility of a daughter just the day before, it was totally gone and I would never have her. I knew this would be my greatest sadness too.

[bigbump]

But p.s. Ocean, I love the story about your son and his babies! Wonder what his wife will say when you rock up for hold #2!


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[MummaBear]

I went to see a customer. I was making something for his wife's birthday. They have 2 sons, 30 and 25. I took my son and was obviously pregnant. The customer asked what I was having and I said 'a boy'. Then he asked me how I felt about it, and added 'my wife's greatest sadness was never having a daughter'. It absolutely shattered me.

.

Oh wow see that's what always worries me. Will I regret it in years to come. I think about it every day and think surely these feelings in time will fade. surely I wont feel these things anymore. But to hear that no it doesn't :( I guess unless u actually speak directly so someone who has been through it they would never normally admit this. Perhaps they would never admit it to themselves fully either so might hide the real truth.

Speaking to others unless I know they are feeling gender disappointment or desire themselves I would never EVER admit my feelings and even if they were possibly feeling the same as me I would completely suss it out before speaking of it. Its always, no we always just wanted 4 kids and 4 boys is what we have and we are so happy and love our boys very much. Which of course we do but that hole still continually aches.

[XXforhubby]

I have two different perspectives on this. My Grandma, my Dad's mom, had three boys. She openly admits that her biggest regret was not trying for #4. She had a miscarriage between my Dad's two younger brothers at 16 weeks. The baby was a girl [emoji20]. She has told me numerous times to make sure we are really done. Don't let time pass you by and end up regretting decisions not acted upon.

On the other hand, my Grandma, my Mom's mother, had three girls. She has told me she longed for a boy but it just wasn't in her cards. The day she met my Aunt, her last child, she held her close and prayed. She prayed that one day the Lord will bring her a boy some day. The Lord answered her prayers- All 8 of her grandchildren has had 15 children and 12 are boys!! She comes over to my house regularly to rough house and play with my boys [emoji4]. They are so lucky to have a great grandma who is young enough, 75yrs old, to really play with them. She told me to that if we want another baby to pray and give it up to the Lord. If we are meant to have one more child, then we will.

We are going to try for #4 and see what happens. I've put together a good sway for my DH and hopefully we will have a healthy, DD. If not, then we will be blessed with another sweet, baby boy.

GL to you! I hope you find peace.



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[Bettybleu]

I didn't want to read this and not reply simply because I have been where you are. I didn't know ANYONE with five boys, and to be honest I felt like a freak at times as people would look at me with pity! I love each and every one of my boys (as we all do!) and although I had GD very badly with no.4 and 5 after the sex scan, I fell deeply in love with them at the birth. The months afterwards I felt that I was complete and I was absolutely fine with not having a dd. However when my youngest turned 2 the feelings returned and I was devastated to think that they may never go away. I hated myself for feeling that way but I simply could not help myself. I knew that trying naturally was not an option for me, I knew that I had completed my quota of boys, I didn't want another baby (which I did for no.5) I wanted a GIRL and therefore I knew that it was HT or nothing.
It was a hard conversation to have with my DH, he knew my feelings but he did not know enough about HT to be fully supportive of it. However after many conversations he told me to do all the research and we'd talk about the options. This site gave me so much knowledge about HT and I am so grateful for the lovely ladies on here who trod the path before me in order for me to learn from them.
Once I opened up to DH and told him how I felt he said we'd give it a go, I'm eternally grateful to him for that. I was so so lucky that this worked first time for me and I'm now pregnant with my longed for DD, it still feels quite surreal and I'm not sure I'll believe it until she's born.
I am, obviously, thrilled that we tried this route, but I did have in my head that if it didn't work I would give up and accept my life with my boys. I just had to try, just had to know that i'd tried everything I possibly could.
I wish you every luck with any future decisions you make. I hope you come to be at peace with whatever you decide, but please do talk to DH, I felt so much better afterwards!

lots of love xx

[fknonl1ne]

I didn't want to read this and not reply simply because I have been where you are. I didn't know ANYONE with five boys, and to be honest I felt like a freak at times as people would look at me with pity! I love each and every one of my boys (as we all do!) and although I had GD very badly with no.4 and 5 after the sex scan, I fell deeply in love with them at the birth. The months afterwards I felt that I was complete and I was absolutely fine with not having a dd. However when my youngest turned 2 the feelings returned and I was devastated to think that they may never go away. I hated myself for feeling that way but I simply could not help myself. I knew that trying naturally was not an option for me, I knew that I had completed my quota of boys, I didn't want another baby (which I did for no.5) I wanted a GIRL and therefore I knew that it was HT or nothing.
It was a hard conversation to have with my DH, he knew my feelings but he did not know enough about HT to be fully supportive of it. However after many conversations he told me to do all the research and we'd talk about the options. This site gave me so much knowledge about HT and I am so grateful for the lovely ladies on here who trod the path before me in order for me to learn from them.
Once I opened up to DH and told him how I felt he said we'd give it a go, I'm eternally grateful to him for that. I was so so lucky that this worked first time for me and I'm now pregnant with my longed for DD, it still feels quite surreal and I'm not sure I'll believe it until she's born.
I am, obviously, thrilled that we tried this route, but I did have in my head that if it didn't work I would give up and accept my life with my boys. I just had to try, just had to know that i'd tried everything I possibly could.
I wish you every luck with any future decisions you make. I hope you come to be at peace with whatever you decide, but please do talk to DH, I felt so much better afterwards!

lots of love xx

great story and congrats!!

[2xblue]

Happylea, I've been thinking exactly the same, does this strong desire for a girl ever go away. I'm pregnant with our third boy right now and I've been having such a bad gender disappointment. It was really hard to have DH to agree having a third and he made me promise I wouldn't want a 4th. But I just can't help feeling this way, I'm desperate for a DD. I swayed so hard for a girl this time and I failed, it's been really hard for me to accept that. I'm dreaming of trying HT some day but I'm too scared to even bring up the 4th child to my DH, he would be mad... Don't know what to do.

Your DH sounds like he could agree having a new baby. Try to talk to him. I really wish some day you will have your DD or if not, I hope you find some peace. Your boys look so sweet!

[MummaBear]

I have two different perspectives on this. My Grandma, my Dad's mom, had three boys. She openly admits that her biggest regret was not trying for #4. She had a miscarriage between my Dad's two younger brothers at 16 weeks. The baby was a girl [emoji20]. She has told me numerous times to make sure we are really done. Don't let time pass you by and end up regretting decisions not acted upon.

On the other hand, my Grandma, my Mom's mother, had three girls. She has told me she longed for a boy but it just wasn't in her cards. The day she met my Aunt, her last child, she held her close and prayed. She prayed that one day the Lord will bring her a boy some day. The Lord answered her prayers- All 8 of her grandchildren has had 15 children and 12 are boys!! She comes over to my house regularly to rough house and play with my boys [emoji4]. They are so lucky to have a great grandma who is young enough, 75yrs old, to really play with them. She told me to that if we want another baby to pray and give it up to the Lord. If we are meant to have one more child, then we will.

We are going to try for #4 and see what happens. I've put together a good sway for my DH and hopefully we will have a healthy, DD. If not, then we will be blessed with another sweet, baby boy.

GL to you! I hope you find peace.



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

Do you think maybe the different perspectives were perhaps because it was a different gender? I know many women out there do long for a son, but is it a bit different to the longing for a daughter?
When it comes to my grandkids I will only ever be the MIL! that relationship makes it different straight up. :( sad but true. Some women get along great with their MILs don't get me wrong but majority of the time not so much. I have asked women when they get all upset about something their MIL said 'Would you be so upset if it was your mother who had said it' and their reply always is no because she is my mum.

[XXforhubby]

Do you think maybe the different perspectives were perhaps because it was a different gender? I know many women out there do long for a son, but is it a bit different to the longing for a daughter?
When it comes to my grandkids I will only ever be the MIL! that relationship makes it different straight up. :( sad but true. Some women get along great with their MILs don't get me wrong but majority of the time not so much. I have asked women when they get all upset about something their MIL said 'Would you be so upset if it was your mother who had said it' and their reply always is no because she is my mum.

I'm not very close with my mom- we have a tumultuous relationship. She is very abusive to me and has a personality disorder. If it weren't for my MIL, I don't know what I'd do! She is like a mom to me in so many ways! People think we are actually mother and daughter because of how close we are. My MIL is an angel- I cannot fathom ever being mad at her or even being annoyed by her. Same goes for my FIL too. They are just genuinely nice/authentic people. I can completely and utterly trust them with my children without even batting an eye or thinking twice.

[XXforhubby]

Oh and my DH and I have been together for 15 years and married for 12 years. To put my relationship with my MIL in context.



[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602][emoji170]
[emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]
My Ovulation Chart (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/579920)

[bigbump]

Do you think maybe the different perspectives were perhaps because it was a different gender? I know many women out there do long for a son, but is it a bit different to the longing for a daughter?
When it comes to my grandkids I will only ever be the MIL! that relationship makes it different straight up. :( sad but true. Some women get along great with their MILs don't get me wrong but majority of the time not so much. I have asked women when they get all upset about something their MIL said 'Would you be so upset if it was your mother who had said it' and their reply always is no because she is my mum.

I wonder this too, mainly because when I opened up to my mum about my GD, she blithely said 'I always wanted a boy'. I am one of 3 girls. She brought us up on her own from when I was 11 and my sisters were 6 and she spent a lot of time telling us how amazing women are (and the men in our lives were pretty pathetic tbh). I wonder if she was all 'yeh girl power' because of her own GD and ironically this was a key factor in creating my GD!

Anyway, she got herself sterilised after having my sisters, and she was only 30 so she can't have wanted a boy that much. I brought the topic up with her again recently and she reminded me that she had wanted a boy, I said 'I don't want to be dismissive of your feelings but if you wanted a boy like I want a daughter, then you would not have got sterilised at 30 because I would keep trying and trying if I could, it runs much deeper here'. I think she finally got how upset I am, for the first time.

I also think it is kind of bizarre that she wanted a boy as she is super girly and even though she has now got 4 grandsons she does loads of girly things with them and doesn't enjoy it when they are boisterous at all. I think she liked the idea but actually she is much better suited to being a girl mum, I wonder how she would have been if we were all boys, would she have been like me?

[BrightSky]

Happylea firstly your boys are gorgeous!! I think it does get easier, I found that after my son was 1 and I had settled back into 'life' and out of the baby stage I really didn't think about the daughter-longing that much, I still wanted one, but didn't feel it was the focus for me. Now that I am pregnant again, that longing has returned and I guess it's the possibility of a daughter and the refocus on life with a baby that are bringing back the feelings. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
On the topic of mils, I don't have one and wish to god I did. I rely on my own mother so much for help with my son while I work, I feel like I really push the boundaries sometimes and he is already in childcare too! To have an extra set of hands would be amazing (if they wanted to of course!), even just for a few hours so hubby and I could have a meal out etc! I am very jealous of my friends with mils and not worried at all if that is all I ever get to be!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Do you think maybe the different perspectives were perhaps because it was a different gender? I know many women out there do long for a son, but is it a bit different to the longing for a daughter?
When it comes to my grandkids I will only ever be the MIL! that relationship makes it different straight up. :( sad but true. Some women get along great with their MILs don't get me wrong but majority of the time not so much. I have asked women when they get all upset about something their MIL said 'Would you be so upset if it was your mother who had said it' and their reply always is no because she is my mum.

I get along better with my MIL than with my mom. I wouldn't take parenting advice from nobody anyway tho - mom or MIL. ;)

I had a very strong gender desire for a boy with my first and I just happily got him. I was SO HAPPY to have a second son, too. I was just thinking of the moment I had him yesterday and how happy I was. There are many ladies on here who have very severe GD for a boy and I would have been right there with them if I had had only girls.

I think that for those of us who do want girls there is a little bit of a tendency to mystical-ize (that's a word, right??) mother daughter relationships but mother son relationships are just as precious in their own way. It's just that we have those already LOL so it doesn't seem as mystical. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

I wonder this too, mainly because when I opened up to my mum about my GD, she blithely said 'I always wanted a boy'. I am one of 3 girls. She brought us up on her own from when I was 11 and my sisters were 6 and she spent a lot of time telling us how amazing women are (and the men in our lives were pretty pathetic tbh). I wonder if she was all 'yeh girl power' because of her own GD and ironically this was a key factor in creating my GD!

Anyway, she got herself sterilised after having my sisters, and she was only 30 so she can't have wanted a boy that much. I brought the topic up with her again recently and she reminded me that she had wanted a boy, I said 'I don't want to be dismissive of your feelings but if you wanted a boy like I want a daughter, then you would not have got sterilised at 30 because I would keep trying and trying if I could, it runs much deeper here'. I think she finally got how upset I am, for the first time.

I also think it is kind of bizarre that she wanted a boy as she is super girly and even though she has now got 4 grandsons she does loads of girly things with them and doesn't enjoy it when they are boisterous at all. I think she liked the idea but actually she is much better suited to being a girl mum, I wonder how she would have been if we were all boys, would she have been like me?

Ok. I understand that this has already been said but just to say something that catches my eye here, we don't know what happened in a person's mind and heart and it may have been devastatingly painful to have gone through that. The times were different then with pressures that we may not face as much now, and she very well may have thought she was doing what is best for you girls by having the operation done. We have many women on here who have their tubes tied after they reached a certain number of children, and really struggle with the decision for years after that. I understand you were not deliberately trying to hurt her feelings but maybe just don't assume it was easy or that her feelings are/were therefore less than yours because of that.

A lot of us who want girls (and I include myself here) may be "better suited" to boys. That certainly doesn't take that desire away and I really didn't like it when people would tell me "well, you're not girly anyway" or "you're so good with boys" as if that was somehow supposed to make me resigned to my fate more. It didn't.

[bigbump]

I get that. But in fairness this was an in depth conversation with someone I know intimately, my mum, and it went on for a while and actually I was on the money because she told me she was happy with her decision and she hadn't realised how I was feeling. I wasn't being dismissive of her, and this wasn't the first conversation we'd had. I was actually trying to open up about me. When I tried to talk to her in the past she just said she wanted a boy and talked about herself exclusively (which she does) and I just shut up. I didn't hurt her feelings. Believe me she'd let me know. But if I hurt anyone else's I apologise.


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[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: I totally get that but I am more thinking of the next person who may read this and then possibly say something similar to someone who they possibly do not know as well, and also the ladies on here who are facing a lot of pressure (or have already done so) to have a tubal.

I do not want to minimize anyone's feelings here and it is absolutely possible to have a tubal ligation that one may regret or have done because in good faith were doing the right thing and that doesn't mean that another person didn't want it as much as us. It is just not something that I would want to have any of us bandying about as a justification for our own gender disappointment, if that makes any sense. This may be the exception that proves the rule, but it's still a good rule.

[bigbump]

It is a good rule.

Of course everything has a context. The context of this conversation was yet another talk with my mum where she didn't listen to me at all and just waited for a tiny gap so she could butt in and talk about herself instead of listening. I guess I was trying to tell her that what she was describing was similar to my feelings but that I was really struggling and I needed her to listen.

I appreciate that doesn't necessarily come over in the comment above.

Anyone that has made that move and then regretted it has my total empathy. I think it must be awful to feel your choices have been taken away, regardless of how that came about.

Anyway let's put it to bed now. If I offended or upset anyone, I apologise, it wasn't my intention at all.


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[momof5boyzz]

Happylea as I was reading this I got teary a little why? Because you are so me . I also have 5 boys my youngest is 21 months old and I feel exactly the same way you do and I have no one to talk about it, that's why I'm glad I've found this site. Everytime I go shopping I make sure I don't go by the baby girl sections because I will start crying or my heart would just start beating so fast. I just want you to hang in there and maybe your dh will agree to try again , I'm trying for a last time if it's a boy again I'll just be done. My mom is already bashing me for having so many kids but doesn't know all the heart ache that I have for not having a daughter . Your boys are so lovely . Be strong and think positive and also pray about it. Hopefully we get our girl one day.

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[Traci25]

I'm so glad I'm not alone, Having the worst time with this pregnancy this was supposed to be and complete us
Now, I feel such resentment. Thinking of
#5 but think it's going to be south harder than having 4

[HappyLea]

Well I have spoken to hubby and told him my true feelings on a few occasions now since my post and he seemed shocked that I wanted another (I have been telling everyone Im done...trying to convince myself in the mean time)

He has said he doesn't want anymore but I get the feeling from him that if we were gauranteed a girl he would. He did do abit of research himself (this shocked me) into HT. I honestly don't think he likes the idea of HT but I think maybe once we have moved house I could possibly talk to him about this in the future. He said once we get out of the baby stage with George (just turned 1) he doesn't want to go back into baby stage but then also said maybe I should wait until we are out of baby stage and my feelings for wanting another may change - this did confuse me alittle because if my feelings dont change is there hope??? He didn't say yes/no

I don't want to put too much pressure on him so atm he knows how I feel and I know how he feels and hopefully at some point we can come together either way and be happy with either not having another or having another. We are looking at relocating which is such a big thing atm so hopefully when this is done and we know what our funds are like maybe I can get him too look more into HT. Or maybe I will feel differently (which I totally doubt will happen) Why does this have to be so hard???

[HappyLea]

Sending much love to all you ladies who are also feeling like me! We are not alone in this and its good to have you to talk too. Xxx