bodhi
September 21st, 2011, 09:53 PM
I lurk around here quite a bit but don't post a whole lot. Hope you don't mind me sneaking in to cry a bit.
I'm 8 weeks pregnant and have been feeling pretty positive. We swayed for a girl, and while I remain hopeful, I've been feeling really good about the possibility of either gender.
My husband and I have been having some issues with my MIL, who is unhappy with her level of involvement with my son. That's the kindest way I can describe it. Until recently, most of the arguing has been between my her and my husband, and I've tried to keep out of it because I really don't want to do any permanent damage to my relationship with my in-laws. Yesterday she phoned me on the attack, making all kinds of accusations and saying lots of hurtful things. This is just one part of the conversation, but it really upset me. She has 3 sons, and she makes no secret of the fact that she still has GD. She warned me (in a very unkind manner) that since I have a son, someday I will see what it's like to be left behind, unloved, and mistreated because sons don't have close relationships with their mothers when they grow up.
Part of me knows that this is silly and more a reflection of her feelings than reality, but it terrifies me. The main reason I long for a daughter is because I want to enjoy that mother-daughter bond when she's older. I know there are lots of daughters who don't get along with their mothers and lots of sons who are very close to theirs, but I can't get it out of my head. Left behind, unloved, and mistreated.
I'm so angry with her for (unknowingly) bringing all my fears of gender disappointment back to life. I know that I can't really blame her for this, but I feel like I've lost some of the joy I felt. I want to be at peace with this baby's gender no matter what, but now I just feel lots of anxiety and helplessness.
I'm 8 weeks pregnant and have been feeling pretty positive. We swayed for a girl, and while I remain hopeful, I've been feeling really good about the possibility of either gender.
My husband and I have been having some issues with my MIL, who is unhappy with her level of involvement with my son. That's the kindest way I can describe it. Until recently, most of the arguing has been between my her and my husband, and I've tried to keep out of it because I really don't want to do any permanent damage to my relationship with my in-laws. Yesterday she phoned me on the attack, making all kinds of accusations and saying lots of hurtful things. This is just one part of the conversation, but it really upset me. She has 3 sons, and she makes no secret of the fact that she still has GD. She warned me (in a very unkind manner) that since I have a son, someday I will see what it's like to be left behind, unloved, and mistreated because sons don't have close relationships with their mothers when they grow up.
Part of me knows that this is silly and more a reflection of her feelings than reality, but it terrifies me. The main reason I long for a daughter is because I want to enjoy that mother-daughter bond when she's older. I know there are lots of daughters who don't get along with their mothers and lots of sons who are very close to theirs, but I can't get it out of my head. Left behind, unloved, and mistreated.
I'm so angry with her for (unknowingly) bringing all my fears of gender disappointment back to life. I know that I can't really blame her for this, but I feel like I've lost some of the joy I felt. I want to be at peace with this baby's gender no matter what, but now I just feel lots of anxiety and helplessness.