Perfect age gap between children?

[ThinkPink]

DS is 5 months and and I just feel really strongly that I would like ttc when he is 9-12 months? DP is completely on board. It took us around 5 months last time so age gap would probably be around 18 months- 2 years. I know its a personal desicion but I was just wondering about other peoples experiences!! What was the gap between your children and would you change it??

[nuthinbutpink]

I like closer to 3 years. I can handle any 3 year old. They are typically potty trained or close to it, you can reason with them, they can help, they can communicate, life for us starts to get pretty predictable at 3 based on past experience. Before that and it's like Forest Gump and the box of chocolates-you never know what you're gonna get!

[atomic sagebrush]

I had two age gaps, with my older two boys it was 3 years 9 mos. and that was almost TOO long. My older son really had gotten used to the idea that he was king of the castle and took it really hard. Plus at that age he was imaginative enough to come up with some really horrific "punishments" for mom and dad LOL! They were never really the right ages to play together and really didn't get along very well at all until just recently.

Fast forward 13 years which is an age gap I'm sure NO ONE wants!!! :)

My little boys are only 20 months apart and while it was def. hard that first month, overall it was easier than the transition the first time. DS 3 just sort of accepted it after awhile and once I kind of had him trained in the way things were going to be, it wasn't this ongoing battle for months on end. Also, he and DS 4 are kind of more on the same wavelength and actually play pretty well together...there's way less difference between a 2 and a 1 year old than there is between a 5 year old and a 1 year old. So for us, the closer gap was actually quite a lot better.

[Missyslair]

Yea, i'd say 18-24 months. My boys are 26 months apart and they are now 4.5 and 2.5 and play GREAT together! #2 just wants to follow #1 around and copy everything he does, LOL. #3 is 18 months behind #2 and both boys just dote over her. And #4 will be 18 months TOO. I love having them close. They have each other to play with and stay out of my hair, LOL. J/K

[lindi]

I don't know this from experience, but they say sibling rivalry in the classic sense exists in age gaps less than 3 years. Something about how around age 3 children gain some security about themselves and so a younger sibling is a little less disastrous to their way of life. But I think there really is no perfect age gap it would depend on the personalities of the two kids.

[Bee Shine]

Mine are 2 years a part and I love it.

[Liv]

My boys are almost 3 years apart and my DD is 5 years younger then DS2. I really love the age gaps of the 3, seems to work well for us.

[WantingButWaiting]

My sons are 4.5 years apart and I liked it. My older son was going to preschool and not so demanding so I could focus more on my younger son. They don't play much together now however. My older son will sometimes entertain his brother or watch him for me but not genuine playing like he'd do with a friend.

[fourblessings4me]

I think it depends. My first two are over 5 years apart (due to m/c's and fertility issues), and I thought that was perfect. lol. Not realistic - especially if you want a big family, but...
My other children are 4 years apart and 26 months apart. The transition of the 4th child and the 26 month difference was, by far, the toughest. However, am not entirely sure the age-gap is as big of a factor as just the number of kids, period.

[xnicolax]

With my DS1 and 2 there is a 3.5yr age gap. That worked well when DS2 was born as the oldest was in nursery and I had more time to focus on the baby. However, now they are 11 and 7.5, they are too far apart in age and do not get on at all, at times I just cant bear them to be together. DS3 and 4 have a 2 year age gap and although they are only still quite young (3 &1.5) they entertain each other much better. You have to take into account that all children are different though. I think much of it has to do with my DS3's presonality I dont think there is a rigt or wrong age gap, you just make it work for your family.

[OneLastDream]

My first two are 22 months apart - I did want an 18 month age gap but when it came to start trying DS1 had just begun getting into everything and I panicked!!! We tried a few months later and so resulted in 22 months - its hard when they are young but lovely because they can play etc (and fight!!!) then DS3 is 4.5 years younger than DS2 and that is lovely as DS1 and DS2 dote on him and at 7 months he is crawling around after them and trying to walk - help!!!! I think any age gap is lovely - closer together is a lot harder at first but definitely pays off in the end. We would like to go for no. 4 and have already started trying! Good luck!!

[BoyDreaming]

All of our children are about two years apart. DD1 and DD2 are 23 months apart. DD2 and DD3 are 31 months apart. And DD3 and this baby will be 21 months apart. It has worked very well for us, but I have lots of help from family too, so that's always a huge plus as well.

[Lilian78]

I think a smaller gap is better for sibling closeness, and a slightly bigger gap is better for parents. I have 2 just under 2 years apart who are inseparable, and two about 2 years and 4 months apart who are also really close--but kind of tough on us (especially since my kids don't sleep through the night until age 2 or more!). If I have a 4th the gap will be bigger. I'm thinking it will be easier for us since my newly 2 year old daughter is already so independent, but I worry about how close #4 would be to the other 3 (even my youngest).

[mybluepilot]

Well,
For us we had dd1 as our honey moon baby so we needed time off having babies we had dd2 when dd1 was 3 years and 1 month we love it
It worked out great HOWEVER, the next time we really want them closer than that

Dd1 complains that her sister don't understand and she wants everything and doesn't share ( ok she is only 10 mons for gods sake)

[RedCanoe]

My boys are 2 years apart and they play together really well and get along nicely so far. This one will be 2.5 years younger than DS#2 and 4.5 years younger than DS#1, so I'm hoping still close enough that he'll fit in once he's able to interact with them.... I always thought having them close together would be better, but I really don't know what having a bigger age gap is like, so I can't really know for sure....

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

I had my 2nd daughter when my first daughter was 1 month away from being 4 years old. I had my 3rd daughter when my 2nd daughter was 3 years and 5 months. And if I try HT, I will try when DD3 is a little over 2 years. For me, it was good with the age difference.

[threelittlemenandcounting]

I have an 18mth age agap ( found this too hard), a three year age gap (I think this is the best one for us) and a 2yr age gap ( this has been ok so far too )

[Orchid]

I am kinda selfish and tend to think from a different angle. I want us to be a family for 3 for a little while and enjoy the current child before having the next one. 4 years apart will be ideal for us. We are just planning to have 2 so it is not a big deal. The siblings might not be close but atleast I get to enjoy the baby and toddler phase before getting pregnant or having to care for another baby. Purely selfish :-)

[skrimpy]

I had my first two 19 months apart. That was great for then but I do not want to repeat it now. I feel like I shortchanged my eldest a little bit, especially b/c my second was a very intense baby (and still is an intense child!) However, caring for the both of them was pretty easy for me, even with their bio-dad gone for awhile in there.

I had 24 months between kid 2 and 3 and that was a nice gap. I was ready for another baby and the older two seemed to "go with the flow" pretty well.

I had a 3.5 year-ish gap between 3 and 4 and that was a really long time, imo. I can see a big difference between DC3 and DC4 - in how they play. My older 3 seem like a unit unto themselves with DC4 kinda left along as the baby. But, on the other hand, when it is just DC3 and DC4 they play well together (at 5 and 2).

I was hoping for around a 3 year age gap between DC4 and DC5 though I'm not sure why, thinking about it. At first it was because DC4 had major problems learning to eat solid food and I did not want *anything* to mess with my milk supply. He was already struggling with weight. But after we finally got solid feeds down and he started thriving again, it wasn't as big of an issue. Anyways, we accidentally got pg and so there will be about a 2.5 year gap between these two.

We are shooting for just about a 2.5 year gap for the next one, too, I hope... and then the thought is to be done with baby-having after that.

I think 2-2.5 years will end up being ideal for my family. The kids get along well, and I haven't noticed many sibling issues at all, really. That also gives me time to nurse one baby well and focus hard on nutrition to prepare for the next baby. My cycles have plenty of time to return and normalize, too (I always get fertile while breastfeeding, but generally around the time my babies turn 1).

DH is in favor of closer spacing b/c we are a May-December romance and he says he's not getting any younger :p

That's a long rambly answer, LOL. But it was good for me, too :p

[Jojogirl]

The first 2 are 22 months apart. Then #2 and #3 are almost 3 years apart. #3 and #4 are almost 3 years apart too. I like the age difference. It's nice. I want another and if I do get pg, there will be a 3 year age difference again.