Urgent help - what do I do????

[1moregirl]

Oh good Lord. You won't believe this. How long have I been having O on CD 18 for now? A hell of a long time, that's how long. And now, the one time we had planned to abstain from Sunday til tomorrow (Wednesday) to collect a semen sample for SA and guess what I have here sitting in front of me on CD 13? Yes.....that's right...my first pos OPK for this cycle. On CD13? I don't normally start testing for O this early but I had noticed I have been feeling very wet and had a ton of EWCM since about CD 7 or 8 so started testing yesterday. yesterday's OPK was negative but today it is a definite positive. I will post a pic here as well just to get verification from you lovely ladies. My question is this....what do I do? We last BD on CD 11 and today is CD 13. I'm swaying for a girl so what do I do? I'm trying very hard to stay relaxed and calm and not freak out. should we BD tonight or wait til tomorrow night? But then, what if tomorrow night is too late and I O sometime today or tonight? perhaps we should BD tonight and tomorrow night, as i was planning on trying the SMEP? Could you also have a look at my chart and see what you think? Thankyou. Maybe this is all a good sign that I am very fertile and maybe have a good egg coming with all this EWCM and Oing on CD 14 instead of 18? Fingers crossed.
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[1moregirl]

I know in the photo the second line looks slightly fainter than control line but it is darker than thatin person. At first glimpse at the stick I have here you would think it was a positive. Should we postpone the SA and collection tomorrow morning and just concentrate on this? I couldn't wait for the second line to get dark or darker and BD tomorrow night after we've done the semen collection in the morning could we? That's not good for girl sway though is it? I would rather postpone that and concentrate on our BD for this cycle. DH also told me something interesting last night. If he orgasms too fast (as in having a quickie or he suffers a bit from PE so we often have to stop and start and stop and start. I real right PITA it is) he doesn't ejaculate all of the semen. But if he goes for a longer time with stopping and starting he does ejaculate the whole lot. Anyone heard of this? I never knew til he told me last night. Anyway, please tell me what to do as I didn't expect this and I'm freaking out a little as DH was planning to work from home tomorrow so we could collect the sample.

[MrsGoodies]

Time to do the baby dance!

Dont waste an egg...i should have gone for it last month even though it was a cd10 egg (instead of my usual cd12 egg)....

If you can postpone the SA you should...

On the otherhand...a 3 day cut off sways girl they say...my one girl pg was from a cut off...but harder to get preggers that way as you know....

Is your Dh willing to move the SA date?

[1moregirl]

Thanks MrsGoodies. I don't think I can expect to get pregnant from Sunday's BD as it was a major quickie. The kids were watching tv and then we started hearing out littlest man saying "where's Mummy?" My head is all over the place at the moment as I just remembered our 7 yr old has an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow morning so our SA plans will be postponed (lucky for that excuse hey?)

[familymatters]

I probably wouldn't bd tonight. I would try to wait til tomorrow night. That's just me though, do what you feel is right

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[sharon]

i would do tomorrow night (i think) eek only u can decide hun x

[Pbn3]

1moregirl if you were planning on doing smep then bd tonight and next two nights, skip one night then bd the following. You should cover all bases that way and that will be following smep. Good luck and hope you catch the egg!!

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[1moregirl]

Wow! I've got a couple of go for its and a couple of wait til tomorrow night. Eeeeek! This is such a tough call. I haven't really had any EWCM today either so I don't know what that means. I guess I'm just worried if I don't do BD tonight what if I wake up tomorrow and I get a neg OPK and FF tells me from my BBT that I Oed some time during this night? I think DH is ready for BD tonight too as he has already showered and shaved for me (just doing someworkon his computer before he comes to bed). Wish me luck! :) xx

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree with pb about BD frequency. If you really can't decide, flip a coin and do what the coin says.

Hope hubby was willing to do the BD and sending you tons of pink sticky dust.

[1moregirl]

Thanks Atomic. We did BD last night so all is good. I haven't had a chance to do an OPK again today yet but I had some funny pains going on this morning that could've been O pains. My BBT has gone up slightly this morning but still below the coverline. Will see what today's OPK is like and what we will do tonight. The only thing im worried about now is my diet. I have been great at not eating much red meat - something I find easy. But I find it damn near impossible to go gluten free and to not snack. I guess on a positive note, I have always had snacks and managed to get pregnant with a girl once already. Right? Oh God, please let this be it for me....my chance for a rainbow baby girl to complete our family. Xx

[Faithinpink]

Really hope you get that egg this month 1moregirl .
Cant wait to see a BFP in the forums from you Xxxxx

[1moregirl]

Dear God....today was a definite pos OPK with the second line much darker than the control line. What do I do? Do I mark yesterday's test as a negative then? Plus we BD last night also. If I am going to do SMEP for 40s what do I do now? Confused. It's 7.15pm here - do we BD tonight again or......? I usually use clear blue digital o tests but was a bit strapped for cash so gone for Ovuplan again.

[1moregirl]

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Here's the pic. A definite positive, whereas yesterday the line was ever sooooo lighter than control line and we went ahead and BD last night. Crap! What do I do know for girl sway SMEP for 40+?

[Pbn3]

1moregirl for smep you will need to dtd tonight and tomorrow night, skip one night and dtdnthe following. That will give you 3 bds in a row at pos opk (including last nights) plus the extra bd after one night break to allow for possible late o. Good luck!

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[Pbn3]

So just to clarify you will have dtd Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday by this weekend. Dont sweat to much on the opk. Yesterdays looked close enough to positive so don't stress too much. Going by todays I'd be inclined to think you'll o in the next 24 hours so if you want to stick to one attempt instead you'll possibly have a 2-o single attempt. Is not certain of course but that is a very pos opk and I myself would assume o would be tomorrow.

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[1moregirl]

Thanks soooo much Pbn3. I was keen to do SMEP, but I'm really keen to sway for a girl too. What did you mean with a 2-0 attempt if I do a single attempt Hun? Also, do you know of other ladies who have done the SMEP and conceived girls? Thanks so much. :)

[1moregirl]

Also, I just took another look at the SMEP book and she says for couples older than 35 who may have low sperm count issues to BD when you see the second line (almost as dark as the control line), then the next day if line is really dark BD only if you didn't do it the night before, otherwise wait until the morning after that pos OPK or that night. Should I wait until the morning to BD then? But what if I O before then? Argh.....this is sooooo scary and frustrating and I am trying sooo hard to stay calm and just work out what to do.

[Pbn3]

I was referring to your attempt last night (Tuesday) because if you o tomorrow (Thursday) then you'll have one attempt (pink tactic) two days before o which is apparently even better odds than even day before o. Obviously the downside is less chance of conception with one attempt. I personally dont know anyone who has used smep so can't answer as to how girl friendly it is. You have to decide what is more important and what your priorities are. I know you've had a helluva time getting dh on board and this is month 3 or 4? Ttc for you? Personally I'd be going all out if I was you as what if your husband changes his mind again? Trust me I know how hard it gets going cycle to cycle and for those of us that aren't getting any younger I think you need to optimise your chances each cycle and hope for pink but be prepared to be hear blue if that makes sense? But the decision lays solely with you as you have to be able to be happy attempt wise and not wish after all is said and done, that you'd done things differently..... I wish you all the best and hope you find peace with a decision. Oh and showering you with pink dust!!

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[Pbn3]

Also, I just took another look at the SMEP book and she says for couples older than 35 who may have low sperm count issues to BD when you see the second line (almost as dark as the control line), then the next day if line is really dark BD only if you didn't do it the night before, otherwise wait until the morning after that pos OPK or that night. Should I wait until the morning to BD then? But what if I O before then? Argh.....this is sooooo scary and frustrating and I am trying sooo hard to stay calm and just work out what to do.
First calm down! You're getting too worked up over this and that will not help things! I know its so hard to decide what to do. So ok if your book says for over 35s to wait till morning and you want to do things exactly by the book then wait till morning. Otherwise stick to dtd tonight if your worried about oing during the night/tomorrow morning as you'll be bding again tomorrow night anyway. Or stick with one attempt. What is your gut telling you to do? As silly as this sounds, when I couldn't make a decision I would write my options on little bits of paper, scrunch them right up to same size and randomly pick one out of a cup as a way of letting fate decide hahaha!!!

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[Pbn3]

Just reread my last post and realised it may have sounded abrupt at the start. I'm sorry 1moregirl it wasn't intentional, was more tongue in cheek speak and I hope that's how you read it :) I'll be waiting to see what you end up deciding!!

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[1moregirl]

I totally hear you Pbn3. And thanks for all your advice and support. I have calmed down now, but still undecided. Lol! I haven't been doing that great on the girly fertility diet. Have been avoiding red meat, but I don't always skip breakfast and I always have snacks. Yet I haven't gained any weight. I'll Thi k about it and see what happens. :)

[1moregirl]

Last year in June when I got a BFP we BD 4 nights before O and on the night of the day I Oed. Maybe we might BD tonight and skip tomorrow night or something. I dunno.....will see....

[MrsGoodies]

:pinksperm: Yeah 1moregirl, I see you got another BD in! :pinksperm:

Whoo hoo! We can obsess in the 2ww together.... :fx:

[1moregirl]

Yes we did BD again last night MrsG. I'Ve just done another OPK test this morning and my urine sample wasn't as yellow as it was yesterday afternoon when I tested and got that dark second line but this morning the line is still darker than the control line. And I tested the ph of my CM (as still a bit of EW there) and it read at 6.5 which is high for me so O will def be today sometime or tonight as my ph always rises around the time of O and then drops down again. The only thing that worries me about all this is that maybe our daily BDing is going to drop his sperm count too much and I won't get a BFP. If we do the SMEP time this time round and I don't get a BFP, I am seriously going to be worried that something is wrong and I will have to have that dam hysteroscopy. The main thing that worries me about a hysteroscopy is the anaesthetic as the last two times I have had surgeries I have come out of the anaesthetic with difficulty breathing (and apparently my Grandma had an allergy to opium-based anaesthetics) - this is the only thing that worries me. Yet I have had a gastroscopy a few years ago and I came out of that with no breathing issues, as it is a lighter anaesthetic. I have already decided in my head that if I don't get pregnant in a few more months I will have the hysteroscopy. Anyway, you see what I mean? I am a bit of a stresser by nature. I also really want a girl this time and it worries me that I have had trouble sticking to the diet. I just cannot go without snacks as my blood sugar levels dropping makes me feel unwell and can trigger migraines. So I have to have a few snacks in between meals. And I'm sure I was still eating that way when I conceived our one little girl as I would've been still breastfeeding our firstborn boy. Anyway, it was soooo funny BD last night as DH kept wanting to touch or suck on my nipples and, due to O, they were just so darned sensitive and sore I kept saying "ouch". Hehehehe! I can't remember the precise BD pattern I had on my chart from when we conceived our little poppet but I do remember that we BD the day before O, the day of O and the day after O. So I guess that was SMEP in a way wasn't it? Wish me luck ladies. I soooo hope this cycle does it for us as I've come to realise how much I really want one last pregnancy and baby. Xxoo

[1moregirl]

Just another question ladies, if I am doing SMEP what should I do next? This morning there is another definite pos OPK. Should I disregard my first OPK where the second line was almost as dark as the control line and think of my first pos OPK as being yesterday? Or should I think of today as my third day of pos OPK and BD again tonight and not BD tomorrow night? Sorry for so many questions, I just really want to get it right.

[Pbn3]

Bd again tonight and Saturday night to keep smep timing. I wouldn't disregard your first pos opk as not pos just because the test line wasn't darker. Dark as or darker is considered positive. You said in first post that in person the test line is darker than the photo shows and to me it looked as dark as if not just the tiniest slighest bit lighter. I'd continue on as you are. All the best 1moregirl!

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[MrsGoodies]

Or....if you really want to mess with your mind have your doc write you a script for daily LH levels (2x per day when you get +opk) and compare the actual SERUM levels with your +opks..

I did this for one of my hi tech cycles . Now I compare my old sticks to get a feel for my serum LH level and i can tell you that the darkness of the opk doesnt mean squat. There is just a set threshold for LH to trigger a positive result on an OPK (over 10 LH will trigger a smilie on a digital)
The concentration of your urine, amount of dye, all affect the darkness of the line.

Just like you cant tell what your HCG level is from a HPT, you cant tell WHERE you are in your surge from a urine OPK. All you can do is test several times per day and count out 36 hr from your 1st test.

Or if you really wan perfect timing, get an hcg shot rx and trigger yourself when you see your lh sticks starting to turn. They force O within 36 hrs.

[1moregirl]

Pbn3 and MrsG - Thankyou soooo much for putting up with me patiently and your fantastic advice. I will continue on and BD tonight and again on Sat night. It's just past 8pm now and I have been having painful O pains since this afternoon and have flushed red cheeks. I don't know what it is but I am feeling like everything is sooooo much more aligned this cycle. I have had the EWCM at the right time and lots of it, the earlier Pos OPKs, I've had fullferning today on saliva test and now the O pains. Like everything is happening at the right time for a change this cycle. I will be surprised if I don't get a BFP this time round. I was thinking, I wonder if They can do a hysteroscopy (just to check if you have any scarring) without giving you an anaesthetic? Anyone know? I might ask that FS tomorrow if it's an option (after a few months of trying of course).

[Blueplease]

You can have a hysterscope under light sedation not a full general a atheistic.

Good luck with it all I hope you get your pink bfp


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[MrsGoodies]

See? I told you that since your ovaries had a little vacation last cycle it would make them perform better.

Your chart so far looks amazing! :giggle:

[atomic sagebrush]

Bd again tonight and Saturday night to keep smep timing. I wouldn't disregard your first pos opk as not pos just because the test line wasn't darker. Dark as or darker is considered positive. You said in first post that in person the test line is darker than the photo shows and to me it looked as dark as if not just the tiniest slighest bit lighter. I'd continue on as you are. All the best 1moregirl!

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:agree: this x a million! You go from the FIRST positive, not the darkest. Your body "hears" the message even if it's a whisper at first - it doesn't matter if it grows to a "shout" later on.

[atomic sagebrush]

Or....if you really want to mess with your mind have your doc write you a script for daily LH levels (2x per day when you get +opk) and compare the actual SERUM levels with your +opks..

I did this for one of my hi tech cycles . Now I compare my old sticks to get a feel for my serum LH level and i can tell you that the darkness of the opk doesnt mean squat. There is just a set threshold for LH to trigger a positive result on an OPK (over 10 LH will trigger a smilie on a digital)
The concentration of your urine, amount of dye, all affect the darkness of the line.

Just like you cant tell what your HCG level is from a HPT, you cant tell WHERE you are in your surge from a urine OPK. All you can do is test several times per day and count out 36 hr from your 1st test.

Or if you really wan perfect timing, get an hcg shot rx and trigger yourself when you see your lh sticks starting to turn. They force O within 36 hrs.

:bowdown: YES!!!

[1moregirl]

Oh my God.......ladies......I'm going crazy over here, right here, right now....So, this morning my BBT has gone up but has not gone up above the coverline (will post a screenshot here also) and I have another blazing pos OPK and feeling a bit achey here and there and boobs still tender. No EWCM yet but feeling a bit wet down there still. I don't know what to make of this or when to BD next. I couldn't possibly have 4 days in a row of pos OPKs and I'm sure I read somewhere on the internet that this can indicate a problem so I am trying hard not to freak out but I don't know how well that is working. We did BD last night again. Why can't all of this get easier with each cycle instead of more difficult?
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[1moregirl]

Sorry, that last photo I posted was crap. Here's a better one. I don't know whether to BD again tonight or leave it until tomorrow night. Please guys....what should I do? What would you do in my position? I think I will scrap the first pos OPK and just make it three as I've had that before and usually I would've considered it a negative anyway.

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[Pbn3]

1moregirl I can only say what I would if I were you. I would stick to your smep plan which would mean skipping tonight and dtd tomorrow night. I would stop testing on opks because its not worth the stress. Its irrelevant now whether you want to not count that first pos as a pos and your worrying yourself silly over something so small. After Saturdays bd you have smep covered, I would the dtd every second day until you get crosshairs. That's my suggestion anyway as its what I would do and also try to remember that this is why smep is so successful - it covers all the important days before and during o and even allows for a sneaky late o. So please stop obsessing on your opks, it will be doing more harm than good :) try and relax, see your smep plan through and as I said you can always keep bding eod if you don't think you've oed. HTH :)

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[1moregirl]

I also have fullferning on microscope thingy again this morning as well. Man, I wish I was just using the clear blue digital O test again this time as its soooo much bloody easier and usually just gives me the 2 days of positive OPK. Should've used it as well as I think I'm extra sensitive to these Ovuplan ones. In the SMEP book she gives a SMEP plan for couples whose male partner may have low sperm count and it goes like this: do your usual every other day BD. When you see that second line appear (it is ok if the line is still a bit lighter than control line), do a BD this night (IF you didn't BD the night before) and IF your CM is excellent. When the test line gets darker, if you did not BD the night before, do it that night. If you did it the night before, wait a night and do it again in the morning or the next night. (Is it just me or is this bloody confusing as all buggery?)

[Pbn3]

Yep I just skimmed over all that thinking this is too much. Put the book away and just stick to the basics. You don't even know that dh has any issue sperm count wise. I'm worried for you in all honesty as this does not sound you're in a good head space at all. Is there any way you can bring yourself to just chill out. Please stop opk testing and just do eod until you get crosshairs. Take a nice warm bath, have a couple glasses of wine or a hot chocolate whatever is your thing but just try relax. I know its easier said than done but please try. Tell yourself you've done what you can this cycle and given it your all (that may take some pressure off Saturdays and any other oed bd). You may even o today or tonight and all of this worrying and obsessing will have been for nothing and may have even done more harm than good. So please take a deep breath and do whatever you can to relax - you got this 1moregirl!!!

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[1moregirl]

Oh Pbn3. You are soooo right. After I send this post I am putting all this stuff away and having a shower and washing my hair and then going to do some shopping with my little pumpkin. I have done my best and now I am going to put it to bed, so to speak. Yes I am not going to do any BD tonight. Maybe just tomorrow morning or night and give it a rest after that and just do every second or third night. I have to be more relaxed about it all, I know. Thankyou soooo much for your wonderful advice. What would I do without you? Thankyou sooo much for your patience, your advice and your support. Have a great weekend. Xxoo

[Pbn3]

So glad to read this 1moregirl!! Have a lovely time unwinding and shopping with your little pumpkin! Look forward to seeing your crosshairs :) You got this girl!

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[1moregirl]

Thanks again Pbn3. distraction is the best medicine, that's for sure. I really hope we strike it lucky this time. Xx

[atomic sagebrush]

IT can indicate PCOS but that is not what is happening with you. Please don't worry about it, it's not uncommon with swaying to see wackadoo things happen like 4 days of pos OPK. I suspect you've geared up to O and your body just is hanging on a little longer. Have some full fat dairy and try to get a good night's sleep if you can.

[atomic sagebrush]

I also have fullferning on microscope thingy again this morning as well. Man, I wish I was just using the clear blue digital O test again this time as its soooo much bloody easier and usually just gives me the 2 days of positive OPK. Should've used it as well as I think I'm extra sensitive to these Ovuplan ones. In the SMEP book she gives a SMEP plan for couples whose male partner may have low sperm count and it goes like this: do your usual every other day BD. When you see that second line appear (it is ok if the line is still a bit lighter than control line), do a BD this night (IF you didn't BD the night before) and IF your CM is excellent. When the test line gets darker, if you did not BD the night before, do it that night. If you did it the night before, wait a night and do it again in the morning or the next night. (Is it just me or is this bloody confusing as all buggery?)

Well it makes perfect sense to me but then again I think about things like this all day every day haha. All they're saying is, keep going with EOD, and then if you think OPK is about to go positive, if you have good EWCM and you didn't just BD the day before, then BD that day. If you DID just BD the day before, then wait till the next day. What they're trying to do is be sure that for the attempt that is the MOST LIKELY to end in conception (O-2 and O-1) that you're in with an attempt one of those two days, and since this is for DH's that have low count, they are trying to be sure you have a day saved up before the attempt that's the most likely to end in conception.

The regular SMEP could possibly too depleting for a guy with low sperm numbers because he'd "shoot his wad" too early and then end up possibly having attempts with not much going on, on O-2 and O-1. Example, keep going with EOD, end up with attempt O-3, then if OPK is about to go positive he would end up possibly with attempts O-2, O-1, and O Day with NO days skipped to allow numbers to build back up again. If a gal doesn't have good EWCM, those attempts on O-3 and O-2 may possibly be duds because no sperm could survive, and then O-1 hubby would be totally depleted. So it would be better, in that scenario, instead of doing that, to have attempt O-3, skip O-2, hit it on O-1 with a nice big batch.

[1moregirl]

Atomic - why does she make a big note to make sure we BD on the day AFTER our first positive OPK? I thought that many ladies Oed on that day and isn't it an unlikely day to get pregnant on? Or is that day 0-1? Silly me. ;)

[Pbn3]

1moregirl curious to know how your temp looked this morning :) anything to report?

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[1moregirl]

Pbn3 - I posted my chart from this morning in a new thread Hun. Please take a look and let me know what you think. I won't post it again today. We took the day and night off BD yesterday and did one more BD this morning, just in case O was a bit later, but I do think O occurred yesterday sometime (in the evening or early hours of this morning maybe). Anyway, take a look and tell me what you think and thanks for checking in on me and giving me your patience, support and advice. I truely appreciate it. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic - why does she make a big note to make sure we BD on the day AFTER our first positive OPK? I thought that many ladies Oed on that day and isn't it an unlikely day to get pregnant on? Or is that day 0-1? Silly me. ;)

It can be O-1 or O day. The reason it's important for people who's husbands have crapola sperm, to BD that day, is that they may not survive as long as another man's sperm may, so it's important to get a shot in closer to O.