FR OR ABSTAIN TO CONCEIVE PINK - POLL

[PinkHopeful]

Hi Ladies

Can I please have a Poll

To get your little girls did you Abstain or FR

We did FR with our two beautiful boys
WITHOUT
Supps
Diet
PH
Ions

Desperate to know which way to go!

Its my last hope 🙏💕🙏

[Erin514]

Well, *most* of the women actively ttc pink don't have daughters yet, so you might get more replies in a different forum, but if you're actually asking what should you do, it doesn't seem that important compared to diet, exercise, and single attempt.

I'll ask DH to try FR if he wants to when we start ttc, but I don't really want to micromanage his masterbatory habits. There are limits, lol.

[atomic sagebrush]

It never comes down to one thing like that.

Neither FR nor abstain has gotten stellar results. Doing one attempt in fertile window has been much better than either.

I got my daughter BD every 4 days and doing LE Diet

[Throwaway_panther]

Of all sway things, I think sex in general pales. I had frequent sex before and during the fertile period when I conceived my daughter, I always had an orgasm, etc. I had a super LE lifestyle which clearly trumped the more "boy" sex sway tactics.

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[familymatters]

I don't know what the frequency has to be to qualify for abstaining or FR, but when we got our girl we DTD once a week. Having said that I have no idea what DH did in his own private time iykwim!!! Lol

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[atomic sagebrush]

Of all sway things, I think sex in general pales. I had frequent sex before and during the fertile period when I conceived my daughter, I always had an orgasm, etc. I had a super LE lifestyle which clearly trumped the more "boy" sex sway tactics.

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there has been a strong trend in this direction among the Custom Swayers though. That's why I say what I say on that. I get blue swayers with many daughters who are having sex once a week, or once every 2 weeks, once a month or even longer than that. There are a few more sexually active couples among blue swayers but they are in the minority. I virtually never see that among my pink swayers. It even is such an issue that I have to be very careful not to push them to have too much sex for blue, because many of the husbands cannot perform more than once a (whatever) and if I get them started too soon, before the fertile window opens, we have a very big risk of ending up with one attempt 4 days before O or whenever because the hubbies cannot finish again within that time frame.

I do not know if it's actually the amount of sex that sways (some evidence does indicate that more sex = more female fertility) or if it's a side effect of couples who are more set for pink having lower sex drives, or some combo of the two, but it is a real trend that I've noticed. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't know what the frequency has to be to qualify for abstaining or FR, but when we got our girl we DTD once a week. Having said that I have no idea what DH did in his own private time iykwim!!! Lol

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:agree: and we literally NEVER have sex once a week only. We had a bad month with sick kids and really busy, and instead of 3-4 times a week it ended up being every 4-5 days and that's how we got her.

[Erin514]

there has been a strong trend in this direction among the Custom Swayers though. That's why I say what I say on that. I get blue swayers with many daughters who are having sex once a week, or once every 2 weeks, once a month or even longer than that. There are a few more sexually active couples among blue swayers but they are in the minority. I virtually never see that among my pink swayers. It even is such an issue that I have to be very careful not to push them to have too much sex for blue, because many of the husbands cannot perform more than once a (whatever) and if I get them started too soon, before the fertile window opens, we have a very big risk of ending up with one attempt 4 days before O or whenever because the hubbies cannot finish again within that time frame.

I do not know if it's actually the amount of sex that sways (some evidence does indicate that more sex = more female fertility) or if it's a side effect of couples who are more set for pink having lower sex drives, or some combo of the two, but it is a real trend that I've noticed. :)

Hmm... this is really interesting to me. DH and I had sex really infrequently after DS1 was born but we made an effort to find more alone time when ttc #2. I wonder if, aside from any blue-friendliness in number of attempts, the fact that we were generally BDing more often in those months than we had been in the previous two years somehow swayed blue...

[atomic sagebrush]

It's definitely possible. There are studies dating back decades that seem to show more sons conceived after wars and while the conventional wisdom was all focused on timing, I suspect it very well may have been going from no BD to lots of exposure to partner's semen indicating daddy is home. It makes sense that could possibly have evolved somehow.

[Bambi]

Ok so is this suggesting that suddenly having more sex (than before) sways blue?

Before DS1 we BD'd about once or twice a week. When we TTC baby #1 we started BD every day. The same with DS2, but before TTC we had sex only about once in 2 weeks and then daily when TTC. Before DS3 we went from having sex about once a month (i know...) to once a week when TTC (I had a sway plan and we went for one attempt at POS).

[atomic sagebrush]

That is what I"m speculating, based on my observations and also the study that shows couples who have more intercourse even when NOT in fertile days of the cycle, have quicker times to conception than those who stick with only TTC sex around O. :)

In general I would NOT dramatically increase frequency of BD at least without first trying one attempt with whatever frequency you're doing normally.

[squigglepink]

I have a question pop in my head today. If my DH does the FR for 7-10 prior to one attempt - does that have any effect on the 'daddy's home' scenario? I mean, like, will his body go, woooa what's going on here?? We BD like once, sometimes twice a week.. so im wondering if we are meant to just carry on as 'normal' or do the FR anyway because i really wanted to try that.. but not if it has the opposite effect because he would then be releasing semen every single day up untill our attempt and that would not be considered 'normal' for him/us??

[atomic sagebrush]

It seems to be your exposure to the hormones in his semen that may up fertility.

That having been said FR has not gotten stellar results anyway (I do think it sways but probably not enough to justify the trouble it causes) and I honestly do not KNOW if it could inadvertently sway blue for some guys. on paper it's not supposed to, but we don't know how any of this works.

Letting him "do what he does" while keeping the one attempt has worked for several people, so if that may be a better fit (less stress, less "controlfreakishness") then that may be something to consider.

[carmella_marie]

For my failed pink sway we DTD 1-2 times a day for 35 days straight. Not kidding. It was exhausting. For my successful girl sway, we DTD every 4 days, but the time I had a +OPK we had DH release and then DTD less than 30 minutes later, and I jumped and dumped. Ya, we're young and fertile :)

I think for pink it's less about FR/abstain and more about the one attempt in the fertile window. One attempt will mean less sperm overall anyway, regardless of FR or abstain.

[familymatters]

For my failed pink sway we DTD 1-2 times a day for 35 days straight. Not kidding. It was exhausting. For my successful girl sway, we DTD every 4 days, but the time I had a +OPK we had DH release and then DTD less than 30 minutes later, and I jumped and dumped. Ya, we're young and fertile :)

I think for pink it's less about FR/abstain and more about the one attempt in the fertile window. One attempt will mean less sperm overall anyway, regardless of FR or abstain.
Holy crap. How could you two even walk after that??? :D

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[squigglepink]

For my failed pink sway we DTD 1-2 times a day for 35 days straight. Not kidding. It was exhausting. For my successful girl sway, we DTD every 4 days, but the time I had a +OPK we had DH release and then DTD less than 30 minutes later, and I jumped and dumped. Ya, we're young and fertile :)

I think for pink it's less about FR/abstain and more about the one attempt in the fertile window. One attempt will mean less sperm overall anyway, regardless of FR or abstain.
Just wondering.. with your DH releasing before your attempt does that not then give him a fresh batch next release? Your method was one of the first I read in January, few days before finding this site.. so it's something I think we should try rather than the FR!

Your vibe attracts your tribe 💞

[atomic sagebrush]

Just wondering.. with your DH releasing before your attempt does that not then give him a fresh batch next release? Your method was one of the first I read in January, few days before finding this site.. so it's something I think we should try rather than the FR!

Your vibe attracts your tribe ��

Hurry up FR is what we call this. Have him release once, dump it, then DTD again AS SOON AS HE IS ABLE using only second batch for insemination. Within an hour if possible, within 3 hours still good, within 6 is ok. If it gets longer than that, of course you can still attempt, but the hurry up FR is probably not gonna be helping you because most guys will have recovered and made a relatively large batch beyond that time

In other words you can't have him release in the morning and then DTD that night. Well you can, but it doesn't qualify as a sway tactic.

[squigglepink]

Hurry up FR is what we call this. Have him release once, dump it, then DTD again AS SOON AS HE IS ABLE using only second batch for insemination. Within an hour if possible, within 3 hours still good, within 6 is ok. If it gets longer than that, of course you can still attempt, but the hurry up FR is probably not gonna be helping you because most guys will have recovered and made a relatively large batch beyond that time

In other words you can't have him release in the morning and then DTD that night. Well you can, but it doesn't qualify as a sway tactic.
Thumbs up to this [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106]

[DesiG]

Hi Ladies

Can I please have a Poll

To get your little girls did you Abstain or FR

We did FR with our two beautiful boys
WITHOUT
Supps
Diet
PH
Ions

Desperate to know which way to go!

Its my last hope 🙏💕🙏

Hello I have 4 daughters and my hubby and I always had sex every day, not saying this is what you should do, because some may disagree with me. But this is just what we always have done, and ended up with daughter's every time. Good luck to you. You can have all my pink dust. And never had an orgasm making any of my girls.

[squigglepink]

Actually I need to check something here..
What happens the days prior to this?? I'm talking DTD or DH releasing.. can we do nothing and then do the hurry up FR?

[amelia10]

Following x

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[squigglepink]

Actually I need to check something here..
What happens the days prior to this?? I'm talking DTD or DH releasing.. can we do nothing and then do the hurry up FR?

I think what im trying to say is, do we abstain from AF up until our attempt time and then do the hurry up FR? Or can we just DTD (protected) whenever we would like form AF up until our attempt time and then do the hurry up FR?

[honeybee37]

Also following this!!
With ds1 we were really desperately ttc and went from maybe once a week BD to every day through ovulation. With ds2, I had a 5 month old and we were v v v rarely BDing! It was def a one off and (sorry) most of the semen seemed to have fallen out! I was also breastfeeding and losing weight so I can't fathom how he is a boy! But he is! So I'm not sure what we will do. DH does not have a high sex drive at all and quite often it is 1-2x a month (I know, that's rubbish!) we are just trying once a month at +OpK. I think from our BD-ing patterns we should have had a daughter somewhere along the line!

[squigglepink]

I was reading your FR, Abstain etc essay Atomic and i noticed in 2013 you said you were over this frequency thing (cos of results vs one attempt).. And here we are 2016 asking you the same questions!!! Lol, sorry about that!! :giggle:
Ok, so here's my thing: Pretend ive just finished AF, lets say we dont get in any BD and maybe DH releases alone, maybe not and we are at a +OPK - is it ok to then just either 'do our one attempt' or do the hurry up FR? So - does our pattern of BD prior to our one attempt not matter, is it like irrelevant? Or, pretend ive just finished AF, we have protected sex twice, maybe DH releases in between then, maybe not and then i get a +opk and we have our one attempt or hurry up FR whatever we go for... - does what we do before our attempt matter? In other words, can we just do nothing and then have our attempt or do whatever we want (protected) and then have attempt? This is probably so confusing to you, but it makes sense to me. (I think if we did nothing prior to attempt thats kind of abstaining anyway and DH is 38 - but that would not be planned. And im sure we would want to DTD at some point)
I read in the same essay, you responded to someone with this:
"every 4 day method OR having him do regular release every 2-4 days by himself or with you, with a condom and then the one attempt at pos OPK. This will make for healthier sperm" ( did i just answer my own question?)
ANWAY - this sounds more manageble but my next question is the last part of your answer, where you said it 'makes for healthier sperm' - that has nothing to do with 'upping sperm count/increase odds of boy' does it? (as in low sperm = girl)

[atomic sagebrush]

Hello I have 4 daughters and my hubby and I always had sex every day, not saying this is what you should do, because some may disagree with me. But this is just what we always have done, and ended up with daughter's every time. Good luck to you. You can have all my pink dust. And never had an orgasm making any of my girls.

This has seemed to make girls for some people but I do not recommend it as a pink sway tactic (or a blue one for that matter) because it can be very hit and miss. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Actually I need to check something here..
What happens the days prior to this?? I'm talking DTD or DH releasing.. can we do nothing and then do the hurry up FR?

I think it's best to have him do regular release every 2-4 days for as far in advance as is feasible before doing hurry up FR.

Barring that, have him "do what he does".

I would not do an abstain nor FR then tack hurry up FR onto the end of that.

[atomic sagebrush]

I was reading your FR, Abstain etc essay Atomic and i noticed in 2013 you said you were over this frequency thing (cos of results vs one attempt).. And here we are 2016 asking you the same questions!!! Lol, sorry about that!! :giggle:
Ok, so here's my thing: Pretend ive just finished AF, lets say we dont get in any BD and maybe DH releases alone, maybe not and we are at a +OPK - is it ok to then just either 'do our one attempt' or do the hurry up FR? So - does our pattern of BD prior to our one attempt not matter, is it like irrelevant? Or, pretend ive just finished AF, we have protected sex twice, maybe DH releases in between then, maybe not and then i get a +opk and we have our one attempt or hurry up FR whatever we go for... - does what we do before our attempt matter? In other words, can we just do nothing and then have our attempt or do whatever we want (protected) and then have attempt? This is probably so confusing to you, but it makes sense to me. (I think if we did nothing prior to attempt thats kind of abstaining anyway and DH is 38 - but that would not be planned. And im sure we would want to DTD at some point)
I read in the same essay, you responded to someone with this:
"every 4 day method OR having him do regular release every 2-4 days by himself or with you, with a condom and then the one attempt at pos OPK. This will make for healthier sperm" ( did i just answer my own question?)
ANWAY - this sounds more manageble but my next question is the last part of your answer, where you said it 'makes for healthier sperm' - that has nothing to do with 'upping sperm count/increase odds of boy' does it? (as in low sperm = girl)

Oh gee squiggle if I never got any q's on things I was "over" I'd probably faint haha.

I ~think~ I just answered this question above, did I cover it?

[squigglepink]

😁
Um yes ok I think I'll do the 2 to 4 days and then the hurry up FR.
Just the question on 'healthy sperm '? I think I know the answer but I trust your brains over mine here!! 😊

[atomic sagebrush]

Also following this!!
With ds1 we were really desperately ttc and went from maybe once a week BD to every day through ovulation. With ds2, I had a 5 month old and we were v v v rarely BDing! It was def a one off and (sorry) most of the semen seemed to have fallen out! I was also breastfeeding and losing weight so I can't fathom how he is a boy! But he is! So I'm not sure what we will do. DH does not have a high sex drive at all and quite often it is 1-2x a month (I know, that's rubbish!) we are just trying once a month at +OpK. I think from our BD-ing patterns we should have had a daughter somewhere along the line!

Swaying is like the tip of an iceberg though. The stuff we see is like this teeny little tip and then there's a huge monster chunk of stuff invisible down below the surface. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

��
Um yes ok I think I'll do the 2 to 4 days and then the hurry up FR.
Just the question on 'healthy sperm '? I think I know the answer but I trust your brains over mine here!! ��

It may, but the think is, that if you don't do it that way, then there is nothing but dust coming out practically or in the case of abstain, everything is killed off, sperm production has dropped and it's much harder for it to recover.

[squigglepink]

Is the regular release every 2 - 4 days considered boy frequency or am I getting my wires crossed? Don't know why I'm getting hung up on this now.. something made me read up on it all again.

[amelia10]

Personally I think it has nothing to do with when, how or how often u dtd ... But more about your internal environment favouring a particular sperm type, which all comes down to diet. I could be wrong but I've delaying my attempt for two more mths so I can focus on the Le Diet before my 1st attempt ...

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[atomic sagebrush]

Is the regular release every 2 - 4 days considered boy frequency or am I getting my wires crossed? Don't know why I'm getting hung up on this now.. something made me read up on it all again.

Technically it is, but just to put this into context, originally we started off thinking "well, since timing cannot be swaying since it's been debunked, it must be frequency" and put a lot of focus onto that. No one ever even stopped to think it could be number of attempts doing anything at all. But we found VERY quickly that it simply had to be number of attempts, with a very strong trend that 1 attempt = more girls, 3 attempts = more boys (we were getting 60-65% boys with 3 attempts even with GREAT pink sways! and in our blue sways 3 attempts is at 76% boys) and 2 attempts falling nicely in the middle with this mathematical precision that we could probably graph it haha.

In the meantime the frequency stuff has not panned out. THUS, I began using regular release with one attempt for pink, in men that could not do abstain nor FR, and still got good results. Additionally, e4d (where by default DH is releasing every 4) is also getting great results. SO PLEASE don't worry about hubby releasing every 2-4 days being this strong blue sway - it is the number of attempts that is swaying, some how, some way, even though we do not have any clue as to why that is.

[atomic sagebrush]

Personally I think it has nothing to do with when, how or how often u dtd ... But more about your internal environment favouring a particular sperm type, which all comes down to diet. I could be wrong but I've delaying my attempt for two more mths so I can focus on the Le Diet before my 1st attempt ...

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Well, our results are showing that it DOES have something to do with the number of times you DTD but yes yes yes it's also clear from our statistics and results that diet also is a very effective sway tactic. :agree:

[squigglepink]

Technically it is, but just to put this into context, originally we started off thinking "well, since timing cannot be swaying since it's been debunked, it must be frequency" and put a lot of focus onto that. No one ever even stopped to think it could be number of attempts doing anything at all. But we found VERY quickly that it simply had to be number of attempts, with a very strong trend that 1 attempt = more girls, 3 attempts = more boys (we were getting 60-65% boys with 3 attempts even with GREAT pink sways! and in our blue sways 3 attempts is at 76% boys) and 2 attempts falling nicely in the middle with this mathematical precision that we could probably graph it haha.

In the meantime the frequency stuff has not panned out. THUS, I began using regular release with one attempt for pink, in men that could not do abstain nor FR, and still got good results. Additionally, e4d (where by default DH is releasing every 4) is also getting great results. SO PLEASE don't worry about hubby releasing every 2-4 days being this strong blue sway - it is the number of attempts that is swaying, some how, some way, even though we do not have any clue as to why that is.
Ok. Thanks for clearing that up.

[Princess4me]

So what is best: abstaining for 7 days then doing 1 attempt with a 3/4 day cut off. OR every second day? Hubby cant maintain every day.

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[dmaz4]

oh my goodness. That was an overwhelming read. So my dh and I are doing abstain for 7+ days then one attempt at +opk. Should we rethink that? With my first son, we DTD every other day all the way from end of AF through O. With our second son, we DTD every day from the end AF through O. I thought maybe abstaining would be best but now I'm second guessing myself. Maybe he should DTD every 4 days and then do a hurry up FR on +opk instead??? Which has better results?

[atomic sagebrush]

So what is best: abstaining for 7 days then doing 1 attempt with a 3/4 day cut off. OR every second day? Hubby cant maintain every day.

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DO not DTD every second day unless you are swaying blue (and even for blue swayers there are better ways)

One attempt is best. One attempt works. Neither abstain nor cutoff really works. If you want to include them, that is up to you, but whatever you do, keep that one attempt till you've dropped all other sway tactics.

[atomic sagebrush]

oh my goodness. That was an overwhelming read. So my dh and I are doing abstain for 7+ days then one attempt at +opk. Should we rethink that? With my first son, we DTD every other day all the way from end of AF through O. With our second son, we DTD every day from the end AF through O. I thought maybe abstaining would be best but now I'm second guessing myself. Maybe he should DTD every 4 days and then do a hurry up FR on +opk instead??? Which has better results?

You guys can't compare those things because different groups of people use them. The results are irrelevant because it's not a blind side by side study with control groups.

As long as you do one attempt, that is what matters most. See if you can get pregannt with one attempt.

With your boys, you had several attempts and that sways blue. So don't get too focused on your husband's frequency when it was much more likely the number of times you had sex that was swaying blue for you (plus a lot of other lifestyle things)

Releasing every 4 days and then hurry up FR is a decent sway tactic IMO. It will cut odds of conception though and we don't have enough people who did that for me to be able to point to any results on it.

[Parying4agirl]

It never comes down to one thing like that.

Neither FR nor abstain has gotten stellar results. Doing one attempt in fertile window has been much better than either.

I got my daughter BD every 4 days and doing LE Diet

Hi atomic when you say u bed e4d, is this dtd on mon and again fri?

Would this be releasing or actual bedding?
Im confused as if i did e4d, should i do an attempt at pos opk or does this then sway blue?
With e4d doesnt this reduce the chance of pink that one day it may be 3 days away from ovulation and the next 4th day attempt is after ovulation - does that make sense?

[atomic sagebrush]

every 4 day method is actually having sex, not just releasing. Unprotected sex every 4th day starting after AF ends and continuing on till you are 100% sure you've ovulated, even if that means going on until your next period starts.

You can do the e4d either on Monday/Thursday (this is better odds of conception, but possibly lower odds of pink) OR on Mon/Fri (this is lower odds of conception but possibly better odds of pink.) Do whichever pattern meets your needs better.

If you start off doing e4d then DO NOT add in another attempt at positive OPK. That is for later on, if you have trouble conceiving after several months.

E4D may be ~slightly~ less pink friendly than one attempt (although we do not know that yet) but it is simply an easy way to have one attempt. This is because the odds of conception on O-4,5,6 are practically nil, and so you end up having your next attempt O-2,1 which ends up being one attempt (since the earlier attempt can't make it that long). Even O-3 and O Day is really one attempt, because if there is anything left from the O-3 attempt, it will have fertilized the egg before the O Day attempt can capacitate, and if the O-3 attempt is dead and gone, then the O Day attempt will have its chance at the egg. So either way it's still one attempt really.