View Full Version : Anyone Foster-Adopt in the US?

June 10th, 2016, 12:23 PM
Has anyone done foster-adopt in the US? We'd be looking for an infant girl.
I am finding very mixed information on the internet (all personal stories so taking it with a grain of salt)
Some say adopting an infant was hard, some say it was easy, and much harder to adopt a toddler.
Some say all foster kids have issues (psychosocial, developmental, abuse, drugs etc) other say that social workers just tag those labels on the kids to get more government funding and most kids in foster don't have significant issues.
Before I had kids, before I even got married, I thought adoption was the most amazing thing and I still think about it a lot...
Private adoption is way out of our price range.
Any personal stories appreciated!

atomic sagebrush
June 10th, 2016, 12:27 PM
Two couples we know (that do not know each other) did this with older kids and it went well both times. But they were from families that they knew thru church that had drug issues and the kids were not abused or neglected, just that the parents couldn't care for them the way that they should.

I agree I always have thought adoption was AMAZING but we found it was way outside our price range and sadly, that we probably would not even have passed a home study because we only had one bathroom and our kids shared a bedroom. :/

June 10th, 2016, 12:36 PM
I think we'd be good friends IRL atomic. I like your outlook on life :)

atomic sagebrush
June 10th, 2016, 12:52 PM
I know I wish we could set up our own little town LOL. :)

June 12th, 2016, 10:50 AM
I'm interested in this as well. For a long time DH and I have looked into foster-to-adopt but most if not all of the babies and young children here that are available have a severe disability. Surely it's not like that everywhere though. We have felt a calling to adopt for some time and we hope to make it happen one day. :) Hopefully someone will chime in and tell their foster/adoption story.

June 13th, 2016, 03:06 PM
A friend of mine adopted from foster in CA, a 10 day old infant with no issues. She waited 3 months for him after finishing home study. She said the websites are misleading as very few of the children are actually on it, just the kids they can't find placements for (so those with severe disabilities). She said there were quite a few newborns available but you really won't know if they have issues for a few years as usually there is a very limited maternal history available.

A neighbor down the street wasn't allowed to foster bc they had a hand gun (in a gun safe) in the house. The husband was a police officer and he used it for target practice to stay sharp! There actually isn't a law (at least in CA) about guns and foster care, but the case worker makes the ultimate decision in whether a family passes and he was anti-gun. So a great family was barred from fostering. Sad.

June 13th, 2016, 06:35 PM
Good to know! I figured there had to be other children available because I know there are lots and lots that need homes but the sites I looked at didn't have many. I'd be interested in adopting a baby or toddler but DH thinks it would be nice to adopt an older child. I guess it would just depend on our situation at the time and what we feel is right for our family.

That is very unfortunate the family was turned down over having a gun in the house. I do understand that it can seem scary to some people if a person owns a gun but of course that doesn't mean they're going to use it for the wrong reasons. If anything, I think that child would have been safer having a police officer as a dad. People really seem to be firmly on one side or the other regarding gun control.

June 14th, 2016, 12:49 PM
Guns are a hot topic issue and I can understand some families being barred from foster if they didn't handle them properly but police officers should be an exemption in my opinion.

Unfortunately foster care systems vary widely between states and even counties so just because some people have had good or bad experiences it doesn't tell you much about your own local office and what you might experience in your home town if you decide to go that route.

atomic sagebrush
June 14th, 2016, 12:55 PM
Yes that's the thing, it's so darn arbitrary.

I don't quite understand the logic that they'd rather a child have no family than one they politically disagree with.

March 24th, 2017, 12:56 AM
Im interested in foster to adopt as well. I know of three families with completely normal children who did foster to adopt. One girl is single and now has three healthy foster to adopt kids under 5. So it's definitely possible to get a healthy child.